I didn't smile as I stood there, staring into the setting sun.
My eyes didn't crinkle at the corners and my teeth stayed safely behind my lips, the ones you had left so cold and alone.
Strange word to use, safe. I had never been safe when I didn't smile, not like you. You were vulnerable when you smiled, when you laughed, when you loved…
Our masks were there, placed upon our faces. We both felt sadness, we both hurt inside, so why was my mask so much different from yours?
Why did you frown and glare to ward off the world, keep it all away while you locked up everything you had ever felt?
Why did I smile and laugh to acquire something from the world, anything that might make them acknowledge me, love me?
"Why are you here?" I asked harshly wiping the tears from my face.
"Why are you crying?" his face was blank his mouth still and strait, but his eyes were warm and he wasn't mocking me. It was as good as a lingering hug and a whisper of assurance.
"I'm not. Now tell me what you're doing here, teme!" I yelled. I couldn't not yell, I couldn't say why I was crying, I couldn't tell him I had gotten his meaning, he already knew all that anyway.
He sneered. "Kakashi-sensei needs to talk to you, but I guess I could tell him to wait for the cry-baby usuratonkachi."
I looked up, surprised. He had never been so considerate. He was actually offering to cover for me if I couldn't face Kakashi at the moment, and I was stunned.
But our masks were there.
"Psh-I'm no cry-baby, teme! Believe it! I can go to Kakashi-sensei right now if I wanted to, and beat you there!"
'if I wanted to'. he caught the words and nodded, letting the mask slip slightly as he acknowledged my need. "Be quick, Naruto." He said quietly, looking at me in concern.
He turned and left in silence, letting the door shut quietly behind him.
We had always had that bond, the bond where what we spoke to each other and what we said had two completely different meanings. Where no one but us could ever know what the other felt, what he wanted.
That had been the first day your mask fell, revealing to me something I would only see on a small number of occasions.
You had expressed concern instead of the annoyance that your disguise demanded you show.
Maybe it was the way you had seen me, with my front down and my insides bared before me for all who looked to see.
But that was it, no one had ever looked, no one had ever cared enough to.
Except you.
"Get out of my shop, you piece of shit!" the huge man yelled, waving a butcher knife in my face.
I had to sigh; I really wasn't in the mood to restrain myself from beating the crap out of civilians, even if they weren't exactly innocent. I was already in enough trouble with the elders.
But being a good little kyuubi-vessel, I calmly walked away, seething on the inside.
I smiled widely at anyone I passed, waving giddily to the people I recognized, even if I couldn't remember their names.
The problem with smiling like I do though, especially when I'm angry, is that sight isn't exactly possible.
I became aware of the fact very suddenly as I walked with my arms behind my head and my eyes squeezed shut, showing the world my grin. I think I may have speeded up slightly at some point while walking because I crashed into the hard wall of muscle rather roughly.
"Gah!" I grunted, rubbing my head and resisting the urge to rub my butt where I had landed so violently, no need to give the villagers something else to laugh at. They were cracking up as it was, laughing all around me, all at me.
While I was sulking in my private world where only me and the ground existed, I heard a voice. It was strange because I knew that that voice couldn't possibly be here, that that voice should be somewhere else and not right in front of me. I knew that I was going to die of embarrassment if that voice was real.
"Dobe." I looked up and saw him in the exact same position as me, on his but with legs spread out in front, except he was glaring death itself at me.
Aww. Crap.
"Sorry, did I knock you on your pretty little arse, teme?" I growled at him, really, I was not in the mood.
"Hn. You're one to talk, Dobe," he said, studying my lower half, which was still glued to the ground.
I'm not sure why exactly it seemed to pop out at me, but right then I couldn't think of anything else other than the fact that he had just called my arse pretty. Intentionally or unintentionally, it was all the same.
"Hey, baka," I looked up to see him standing over me, raising an eyebrow at my withdrawn state.
I sighed looking away from his face, "What?" I was surprised to find a pale hand shoved in my face. So surprised in fact, that I took it.
"Come on," he said, looking at me in a strange way that I had never seen him look at anyone ever before.
It was almost…sympathetic.
I didn't know why you had been so nice to me. I didn't know what made you notice that something was wrong, well, other than the usual.
I hadn't ever known why you noticed, because you always noticed. Every moment of sadness or despair or loneliness was captured in your mind. Every possible cause of my sadness was acknowledged by you. It was just those precious few times when you let your mask slip that you acted on your knowledge.
You knew what was wrong too. Something no one else other than the adults had ever known. But, unlike them, you didn't know why the villagers treated me like shit, you didn't have any prejudices against me because of what was inside me. How could you?
You didn't know I was the Kyuubi-vessel then….did you?
It doesn't matter. Even if you had known what I was back then, your reasons would not have changed. The reason for your concern and kindness was something else. It had nothing to do with my problems and what you thought of them.
No, I discovered what your reason was.
"Itadakimasu!" and with that, I chowed down.
A sigh beside me, "Naruto! Kakashi-sensei isn't even here yet!"
I grinned at her, swallowing the noodles in my throat. "But Sakura-chan, he's always late, why let the Ramen get cold?"
"Kami, you're an idiot. It's disrespectful to your elders not to wait for them! Why did you order the ramen anyways if you knew he was going to be late?" She sighed again and shook her pink head. "You're a disgrace."
I grinned at her, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"Spicy pork ramen, please."
Sakura turned abruptly to look at the boy on her other side. "eh?"
"No use waiting for him if we have to sit here for an hour," he paused as he reached out for some chopsticks, snapping them apart. "Itadakimasu," he muttered quietly.
The rest of the meal spent with my team seemed to blur together, leaving me in a sort of trance-like state, only waking from my stupor once when Kakashi-sensei finally arrived and ate with us.
But the night hadn't ended there.
No.
You didn't settle for that one shock, that one defense of me. You loved how I reacted when you surprised me.
You didn't take off your mask, no, you would never do that in front of Sakura. But you widened the boundaries we had unconsciously set down between us, and by defending me, you stepped outside of them.
The sudden freedom must have been a relief for you, not to have to obey the rules you yourself set out, not having to care about how other people would react, what they would think.
You were already outside the prison fence. Why would you look back for the opinion of the guards?
"So, how's it feel to be eighteen, Naruto?" Our masked sensei asked me.
I shrugged and opened my mouth to speak, but Sakura spoke first.
"Oh? When was your birthday, Naruto? You should've told me, we could have gone out for dinner with everyone."
My mouth was still open, but I snapped it shut quickly, my teeth clicking together audibly, and turned back to my ramen.
"Sakura, what do you think we're doing?" the cold voice came again from her other side sounding exasperated.
"We're eating..out...at...oh--" Sakura was staring at her bowl now her lips still forming that last oh. Kakashi had remained silent, watching the three of us.
"It's alright Sakura-chan!" I said, smiling at her and interrupting her before she had had a chance to give me an empty apology.
"I don't think it is," The mumbled remark was so quiet I almost missed it.
I turned to look at my raven-haired friend in curiosity while Sakura gave him a hurt puppy look. He was sitting calmly next to her, staring into his unfinished ramen and stirring his chop sticks in the murky liquid absently.
Before either of us could speak he sighed and tossed me something.
"Dobe."
"Eh?" I frowned down at the package in my hands. It was nothing remarkable, a simply wrapped box. No bow, no card, no strange embellishments, though I smiled in amusement when I noticed the color of the paper. It was yellow, probably the closest the teme would ever come to openly being considerate and giving me something orange.
I smiled excitedly, but decided to delay it and brought it up near my ear to shake it. What ever was inside, rattled slightly.
I heard a sigh from beside me, "Naruto, spare us your traditions and just open it."
"Okay, Kakashi-sensei!" I replied and began tearing at the paper.
He mumbled something about not being my sensei but I ignored him, the contents of the box were far too interesting for me to spare him any attention.
It was a new ANBU mask, a fox.
"It's from all of us," he glanced at Sakura, "even if some of us didn't know it."
"Arigato!!" I yelled glomping my former teammates at once. I would have loved to glomp Kakashi-sensei as well, though I doubt I'd be able to get a hold on him. Even if I was higher ranking now.
"Oi, dobe"
"Nani?" I asked, my head still buried between theirs.
"Naruto, get off!" Sakura yelled, throwing me off with her super-strength so I landed painfully hard on the teme earning a grunt from both of us.
It took me a moment to realize that I was laying on top of him, my body pressed entirely to his. He had been warmer than I expected, and softer. The sensation sent a mixture of pleasure and embarrassment through my body, causing a deep blush to spread across my cheeks.
"nnnnggh!"
"Oh, sorry teme," I said, sitting up so my shoulder wasn't pressed into his face. But then I was hovering over him, that horrifying blush still present on my features.
His equally flustered look wasn't helping any.
"Dobe," he murmured before reaching up, grabbing the back of my neck, and bringing my lips hard down onto his.
And that had been it.
The boundaries had been destroyed. In one simple motion, you shattered the base that we had carefully maneuvered around since we met.
With that one kiss, you had revealed to me a whole different world, one I had been oblivious to before.
Because with that one kiss I realized why I had fought you so much as a gennin. Why I had been so hurt when you left. Why I had hunted you down so doggedly. Why I had been so happy and…full when I finally dragged you back. And why I got chills up and down my spine when you looked directly into my eyes.
With that one kiss, you made me realize something Sasuke…
I love you.