Title: "You've Gotten Ridiculously Hot"

Author: SP

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider and whoever else own everything.

Rating: T

Pairing: Drake/Josh

Word Count: 1328

Summary: Josh feels like people only like him because of his appearance. Drake reassures him. Drake/Josh slash.
Author's Notes: Because I just keep thinking of ways to get these boys together!

Josh stormed angrily into the bedroom he shared with Drake. "I hate girls!" he announced.

Drake, who had been playing with a paddleball, threw the toy down and gasped theatrically. "Josh, what are you saying? You're talking crazy. Here, sit down." He hurried to escort Josh to the couch. "Now, very slowly and carefully explain to me how you came to that conclusion, and I'll prove to you how you're wrong." Drake seated himself beside his stepbrother and turned to face him expectantly.

Josh, though still upset, had to smile at Drake's antics. "Regina asked me out."

Drake suddenly sat up straighter. "Regina? The Regina? Regina of 34-DD fame?"

Josh blushed, ducked his head, and nodded.

Drake stared at Josh in disbelief. "And how does that make you hate girls? Do you know how long it took me to get one date with her? And she asked you out? That's reason to fall to your knees and send up some prayers, not to declare hatred on all girls!"

"It was the way she did it," Josh muttered.

"Ah." Drake nodded knowingly. "She was too forward for you, right? Was she wearing one of her low-cut tank tops? She does like to show off." Drake's eyes began to glaze over, and Josh hastily began to speak.

"No, that wasn't it."

Drake shook his head. "Oh. Okay, so what is the problem?"

Josh pouted moodily. Then he sighed, and said, "She came up to me surrounded by a bunch of her friends. And then she said, 'Hey, Josh right? I couldn't help but notice how much you've changed recently. So wanna go out?"

Drake frowned, not seeing the problem. "Okay, and…?"

"And I said no, and--"

"YOU SAID NO?!" Drake screeched. "WHY?!"

"I just told you," Josh said, exasperated. Well, and there was the fact that he'd recently realized he had a crush on Drake himself, but Drake didn't need to know that.

Drake held out his hands. "You must have moved too fast for me. She came up to you with her friends--was that the problem?"

Josh shook his head. "Not especially. I'd prefer to be asked out alone, but I'll take what I get."

"All right, so what the big deal?"

"She said I'd changed recently!"

Drake stared at Josh again. "Um, you have," he said carefully. "Or don't you remember your diet?"

Josh looked witheringly at Drake. "Of course I remember. How could I forget you trying to tease me with junk food? But that is completely not the point. It's only my appearance that's changed. I'm still me."

"Aren't you the one who's always saying you're not the same goofy kid you were when Mom and Dad got married?"

"I've matured, obviously. And learned to be more discreet. But I still like to watch and perform magic tricks, I'm still basically a dork--"

"Don't forget that you're still obsessed with Oprah," Drake interjected, snickering.

Josh ignored the snicker and replied, "Of course, I could never forget Oprah. But-but see, I haven't changed!"

Drake sighed and explained patiently, "Josh, a lot of girls are really shallow. Regina especially. So the way you look is way more important than your personality, as long as you don't act like a goob in public."

"A goob?" Josh asked in amusement.

"Yes, a goob," Drake repeated with dignity. "Look man, all that matters to a lot of the girls you'll meet is that you've gotten, like, ridiculously hot in the past few months."

"Yeah, but I hate that…wait, I've what?" Josh looked at his stepbrother incredulously. Did Drake just call him hot? That was probably wishful thinking. And was he hot?

"Gotten ridiculously hot," Drake repeated. He might have been blushing a little bit.

"I have not," Josh mumbled. He, on the other hand, was definitely blushing.

Drake inwardly chuckled at Josh's cluelessness. It was so him. "Yes, you have. Can't you see it?"

"No," Josh replied honestly.

"Well," Drake proclaimed, "I myself am very hot, so trust me when I say that you are too."

Josh laughed. "You have the biggest ego of anyone I've ever met, you know that?" Drake looked slightly uncertain, so Josh asked, "Do you know what an ego is?"

"Yes," Drake replied defensively. "I wasn't sure if you were teasing or--"

Josh grinned affectionately. "Yeah, I was teasing. You don't actually have that big of an ego, when it comes to your music anyway. But with girls…that's a whole nother story."

Drake grinned back. "I can't help it if they're all over me."

"Because you're so hot, right?"

"Exactly," Drake answered.

Josh sighed, and leaned back into the couch. "So, since I turned down a date, and I know you don't have one either…what do you want to do tonight?"

"Dude, I still can't believe you turned her down!" Drake exclaimed suddenly.

Josh sighed again, this time in frustration. "We just had this conversation."

Drake waved a hand, as if it didn't matter. "Yeah, I know. She's shallow, only cares about your looks, doesn't care about your personality, you don't like it so you said no. Josh, you're in high school. You're supposed to date shallow girls. It doesn't have to mean anything. Find someone to love who cares about the stuff you're interested in, who puts up with your magic tricks and who indulges your Oprah obsession."

"And who thinks I'm hot on top of all that?" Josh suggested. Listening to Drake's list, combined with something in their earlier conversation, had given him a sneaking suspicion. Maybe it was wishful thinking…maybe not.

"Well, yeah. I--They should love you for you, but your body is a nice bonus. Would be," he added quickly. "Right. So, what did you ask?"

Josh wondered if that was enough to confirm his suspicions. "Um, what do you want to do tonight?"

"Oh. I don't care. Whatever you want to do is fine--but I'm not watching an Oprah marathon again."

Josh grinned at Drake. Then he said, "You don't have to. Thanks for indulging me last time."

Drake definitely blushed this time. "Josh--"

That was proof enough for Josh. He cut Drake off by kissing him.

It wasn't a long kiss. It was barely more than a peck, really. The kiss Josh gave Drake after he got Oprah tickets had more passion, though a lot of it was Oprah-related. He didn't touch Drake at all.

So the fact that Drake was momentarily left speechless was pretty striking.

"…What was that?" he finally asked.

Josh swallowed nervously. Maybe it had been wishful thinking. "A kiss?" he suggested.

"Why?"

Josh hesitated, then babbled, "I'velikedyouforawhileandIthoughtmaybeyoulikedmetoo, don't hate me!"

Drake smiled slowly. "I don't hate you. And…you were right." Then he leaned over, took Josh's face in his hands, and kissed him.

This kiss was way more than a peck. Josh suddenly understood why so many girls raved to their friends about Drake's kissing skills. Josh brought his hands up to rest on Drake's waist. And then Drake stopped kissing him. Josh made a small sound of dismay.

"Josh? Don't think while you're kissing," Drake ordered, then resumed the kiss, moving one hand to the back of Josh's head and the other to the small of his back.

Josh, determined to measure up to the dozens of girls Drake had kissed before, hesitantly ran his tongue over Drake's lower lip. Drake immediately opened his mouth, deepening the kiss. He brought his tongue up to meet Josh's, and they battled for dominance for a moment. When Drake slipped his hand under the hem of Josh's shirt though, he pulled away.

"What's wrong?" Drake asked.

Josh shook his head, sort of dazed. "Nothing, just…"

"What?"

"Where are we going to go from here?"

Drake shrugged. "I don't know. But let's not worry about that now. Let's just take it one step at a time."

"One step at a time. Okay. But…this means something, right?"

"This definitely means something."

Josh smiled, then kissed Drake yet again.

FIN