Title : Orange Duck
Disclaimer : I don't own Saiunkoku Monogatari. It belongs to Sai Yukino.
Rating : T
Genre : Family/Humour
Warnings : Yaoi
Pairings : Koyu/Shuei, Reishin/Kijin
Summary : Koyu returns to the Ko Manor to cook Reishin's favourite Orange Duck.
Time-fit: Anytime after my fanfic, Courtyard.
That smells wonderful! Lord Reishin would be pleased.
Koyu nodded in satisfaction, wiping his hands on his apron, inhaling the tangy mix of star anis, cinnamon, lime juice, and of course, mandarin oranges. The mandarin oranges had just arrived in the afternoon from the Hong Province. Koyu smiled, recalling his adoptive father's anticipation every year, waiting for the first harvest of his home province specialty produce to arrive in the capital city.
Earlier in the day, when Koyu got news that the harvest had arrived, he paused in his work as Assistant Secretary of Personnel, to dash off an urgent note to the Secretary of Finance, Ko Kijin. The note read, "Lord Kijin, the Hong mandarins are in. Please procure a nice fat duck on your way home."
Koyu knew that Kijin would turn the capital city of Kyo upside down to get the best duck. His precious Dumpling, his lover of eighteen years, his long-time civil service colleague, the intimidating Secretary of Personnel, the beautiful Hong Reishin, absolutely MUST have his Orange Duck for dinner! It had become a tradition, ever since Koyu learnt how to cook this dish, that they would have Orange Duck for dinner on the day the Hong mandarins arrive in Kyo.
Sticking a chopstick into the roasted duck to test if it was cooked through, Koyu's brow furrowed a little at the not-so-fortunate timing of this impromptu dinner party. Shuei was due to arrive back in Kyo anytime now. Koyu had left a message at the army camp for General Ran Shuei to come straight to the Ko Manor for dinner, instead of going home to the Ran Manor. If it had been any other night, Koyu would have been totally happy to return to his ex-home to cook the Orange Duck.
Tonight of all nights. Tonight Shuei and I need to be alone, and in our own home!
Koyu bit his lip in worry. Every time Shuei returned from his trips, he would be . . . about to burst! Koyu wasn't sure how Shuei was going to contain himself for the extra few hours before they could be together alone. Delaying sexual gratification was never one of Shuei's strong points!
"Oh, for goodness' sake, Shuei, why won't you get out of your suit of armour?"
Reishin looked at the fully-armoured lover of his son in exasperation.
"It must be hot wearing all that metal, you're red in the face."
"Lord Reishin, please, Shuei knows what he's doing."
Koyu intervened, glancing at Shuei sympathetically.
"Oh well, fine then. Obviously you also know what Shuei is doing."
Indeed I do. Poor poor Shuei!
It would be less hot to only keep the NECESSARY metal coverings, of course.
But it would look decidedly strange if Shuei were just to keep his crotch guard!
Koyu gave his beleaguered colleague and fellow-Royal-Advisor an encouraging smile.
Reishin, to his credit, managed to, for the most part, ignore the unnerving sight of a man in full armour eating at his dining table. Kijin, always stoic, was perfectly unfazed.
A casual onlooker couldn't be blamed for thinking this was a dinner party of weirdos.
First, there was that suit of armour.
Second, there was a young man seated at the same dining with an apron. Koyu, in his anxiety about Shuei's predicament, had forgotten to remove his apron; and Reishin, in his preoccupation with Shuei's armour, hadn't noticed Koyu's apron.
Third, there was the man with the wooden mask. Kijin's naked face was the greatest secret and source of gossip and speculation in Kyo, and maybe even beyond the capital city. As far as most people could remember, Ko Kijin had worn a mask since his first years in the civil service. And everyone knew that the beautifully crafted wooden masks were the handiwork of his lover and fellow-Secretary Hong Reishin. Beautifully crafted, and ingeniously engineered. Each mask had its own opening mechanism for the mouth panel, to allow Kijin to ingest food with the mask on.
Fourth, the last man of the dinner party was wearing only one crimson ear-stud.
Koyu peered at Reishin.
"Lord Reishin, where's your left earring?"
Reishin started, and touched his hand to his left earlobe.
"Oh my god! Kijin! Did you eat it down?"
"But why would Lord Kijin eat your earring, Lord Reishin?"
At that, Reishin went pink in the cheeks, and Kijin laughed.
"Really, Koyu, one wonders what Shuei has taught you all these months. Reishin and I were keeping ourselves entertained while waiting for you to arrive to start dinner preparations."
Kijin turned to his lover.
"No, Dumpling, I didn't swallow it. I vaguely remember spitting it out, but I forgot to look for it subsequently. It must be somewhere on the kitchen floor."
Shuei, who had been conspicuously silent due to his personal predicament, let out a muffled shout. He spat out the crimson ear-stud into his palm. Looking a little ill, he placed the twice-spat-out article in front of Reishin.
"It was in the duck, Lord Reishin."
It was Koyu's turn to look ill.
"You . . . the duck . . . whaaa . . . just how was the duck involved in the entertainment, Lord Kijin?"
Kijin deadpanned.
"I don't play with my food, Koyu."
Reishin laughed, his brows arching delicately.
"Besides, Koyu, Kijin only likes males, ducks included, presumably."
"The duck was sitting next to us, that's all, Koyu, I can swear on it."
"Really, Koyu, you roasted that bird for two whole hours, nothing could have survived that anyway."
To bring home his point, Reishin took another helping of the duck.
"The orange sauce is exquisite as always, Koyu. Thank you."
Koyu flushed at the compliment.
"Thank you, Lord Reishin."
"And Shuei, thank you for not swallowing my earring. Kijin gave them to me the night we became lovers."
"Gift! I almost forgot. I brought back a gift for you, Lord Reishin."
Shuei, and his armour, walked over to the side of the dining room, where he had left his stuff. He rummaged in the cloth-wrapped bundle, and returned with a small lacquered gift box. Koyu smiled, wondering what pretty thing Shuei got this time. Ever since Koyu told him that Reishin loved presents, Shuei never failed to bring back exotic pretties from his trips.
Removing the lacquered lid, Reishin paused, his arched brows lifted slightly.
"What is this?"
"The locals call it a 'chapstick', Lord Reishin."
Brows furrowed, Reishin picked up the three-and-a-half-inch long gold cylinder. He saw a fine line about two-third way down.
A cover? Let's see.
Reishin gingerly pulled at it. The cover came off, revealing the inner cylinder, with a quarter inch of some waxy-looking substance showing above it. He touched his index finger to it.
It's greasy. What is it for?
"Twist the base, Lord Reishin."
As the full three inches of paraffin wax was extruded, Reishin's eyes opened wide in sudden enlightenment.
Ah so!
"Chap-stick"! A stick for chaps! A product for gay men!
Lubricant in a stick-form! Well, indeed!
I detest being called a "chap", or "chappie", for that matter.
Even so, it's a cute name, and certainly more catchy than "man-stick"!
"Lord Reishin, the stick makes it possible for direct application, without having to use fingers."
Reishin blushed, marveling at Shuei's ingenious choice of words.
"Direct application" – concise and yet polite. As to be expected of the glib Ran Shuei!
Visualizing his lover performing the "direct application", and standing by (with crossed arms!) coolly waiting for the paraffin wax to liquefy from the body heat, Reishin shuddered.
"But, Shuei, that's a tad . . . unfriendly, don't you think? Isn't the use of fingers part and parcel of the whole process? Don't you do that for Koyu?"
Koyu, at the mention of his name, jumped, and blushed. He had been following the conversation in disbelief, thinking that either he himself or Reishin was mistaken about the function of this "chapstick" thing. How could Shuei have bought something like that for his father! And now THIS! He really didn't need to be brought into this excruciatingly embarrassing discussion! Maybe if he looked busy, the conversation wouldn't come his way. Koyu poured himself some tea, and drank it in fervent hope.
Getting no response from his son's lover, who was perhaps brain-dead from the heat of the armour, judging by his non-comprehending stare, Reishin turned to Koyu.
"Koyu, doesn't Shuei oil and prepare you with his fingers?"
The tea exploded, dripping from Koyu's face and down his chest. The dining room suddenly became very noisy, with Koyu choking, Kijin laughing, and Shuei, well, howling.
"Good grief, Dumpling, what on earth were you and Koyu thinking of? It's lip-balm in a stick form, instead of in a jar. Shuei meant direct application to the LIPS, you idiots!"
Lips pouted.
"It's not my fault! Why name it 'chap-stick' when it's not an exclusive product for men?"
"Oh my god, Lord Reishin, you are killing me!"
Shuei groaned.
"'Chapstick' as in a stick for chapped lips, not as in something to stick into a chap!"
That brought on another shout of laughter from Kijin. Kijin and Shuei hooted and pounded the table in unison. The object in question rolled off the table. Reishin, partly to hide his flaming face, bent down to pick up the chapstick.
When he surfaced from beneath the table, Reishin was a changed man. Cool, collected, and very much amused. He took a fresh pair of chopsticks to pick up the spat-out ear-stud from the dining table.
"Koyu, wash this for me, will you, please? And at the same time, look on the kitchen floor for the earring clasp. And of course, bring Shuei with you."
Reishin dropped the crimson ear-stud into Koyu's palm, laid down the chopsticks, and smirked.
"It seems even Shuei's armour cannot contain him. His . . . uh, chap-stick is obviously happy to see you. You, of course, look particularly alluring in your apron. And don't worry about the duck, we'll save your portions for you. Take your time looking for the other half of the lost earring. It's alright, I don't mind."
Leaning back and glancing around at his loved ones, Reishin smiled in contentment.
"This is just a little dinner party among colleagues, afterall."
[The End]
Notes :
(1) Written in response to a deviantART September 2010 contest. The prompts I have chosen are iCo-Workersi and iDinner Party/i, and the five objects to be included are iAn Apron, Suit of Armour, A Duck, Chapstick/i and iA Lost Earring/i.
(2) i"Orange Duck"/i is a Chinese recipe of roasted duck with a sweet-and-sour orange sauce. The duck is marinated in a mixture of crushed Szechuan pepper corns and salt, then roasted. The sauce is made with brown sugar, light soya sauce, star anis, cinnamon, lime juice, orange juice and orange slices.
FOR THOSE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE SAIUNKOKU MONOGATARI FANDOM
(1) Koyu, Reishin and Kijin are colleagues in the civil service. Shuei is a colleague of Koyu, as they are both Royal Advisors to the young emperor.
(2) Shuei being in armour is canon, as he is a General of the Left Army.
(3) The Hong Province produce of mandarin oranges, and Reishin's attachment to it, were featured in Season 2 of the anime.
(4) Koyu's interest in cooking is canon, and was referred to a number of times in Season 1 of the anime. Unfortunately, he is never shown in an apron! ^_^
(5) Reishin does wear crimson ear-studs in the anime.
(6) In the anime, Kijin does wear masks with movable mouth panels, made by Reishin.