Is It Fine to Love You?

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any related characters; I am only using them to satisfy my urges to right slash-fluff-and risqué romantic comedies.

I can't believe I just said that, Remus thought as he walked shakily away from the group of boys he was sitting with. It made no sense, nor reason why he had just started talking. Maybe it was six dreadful, painful, soul-consuming years of silence on the most debating subject of his day, but he spoke, all right. Not only had he just revealed he didn't fancy women like the other 98 of the male population, but he had revealed his deepest most dark secret. A secret he had tried his hardest to protect and keep hidden ever since his first year- He, Remus Lupin, was in love with Sirius Black.

He collapsed into one of the comfortable, overstuffed armchairs in the Gryffindor common room, barley recalling how he had made it up so many sets of stairs with legs that felt like liquidating jelly. Placing his right hand aginst his graying brow, he focused on the soft, intricate pattern of the tapestry on the wall not more than a foot ahead of him in attempts to calm his churning stomach. He was just starting to calm down about a half an hour later, when James startled him by placing his hand comfortingly on his shoulder.

"Hey, You alright?" his tall dark haired friend asked, gently leaning down and half-hugging his friend. Remus merely nodded, partially convincing himself of this as well.

"Well, half of the school knows now, thanks to Snapes overly-large mouth smudging his way into any and every conversation he could find. The man really must hate you," James said with a misplaced sort of chuckle.

"Great," Remus replied in a somber voice, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the wrinkled and slightly battered picture of Sirius he always kept with him.

"And, I was going to say something… you know, eventually… before our last year was over and he decided to go to Russia or something."

"Maybe it's best this came out now," James insisted, moving from beside his friend to directly across from him in an armchair, "I mean, your work has been suffering and all since you found out he's engaged. And… it's been hard not to say anything about the way you were feeling with the way he's been talking lately…" James trailed off. Remus, upon hearing this, sat up and nearly jumped out of the chair,

"How do you mean?"

"I…well… He's just been kind of hinting around that maybe he… ya know, has feelings for you," He let his eyes trail up and meet the energized amber orbs that were Remus'.

"You mean… You think…. He might… like me?" He jumped from his chair, taking James by the shoulders and shaking him ever so slightly, as to shake the answer out of him.

"I'm not… Saying anything I don't know for sure, but, I think it would be a good thing if you went and talked to him. Just to see. And to clear things up."

"Do you know where he is?" Remus asked hastily.

"The Library. Once he heard, he said he needed some time alone to think."

…………..

Five Minutes later, Remus was rounding the corner to the Library, eagerly looking around for any sign of Sirius he could find. After a few more moments or trailing up and down sections of old, dusty books, Remus found Sirius sitting at the far side of the aisle containing books on Herbology. He was pearched suavely on the windowsill, his long black hair pulled back into a graceful ponytail at the nape of his neck, his eyes searching the page of the book before him. He looked up when Remus approached him and a slight blush caught the edges of his pale face. The gentle look in his soft Brown eyes drew Remus in towards him. For a breathless moment, neither of them spoke a word, but looked on at each other, defining and envisioning each and every line and pigment of either one's face. Finally, Sirius broke the silence with a low, soft voice that sent lines of pure blissful sensation flowing up and down Remus' back.

"I'm glad you came. I was just reading about a plant, grown only in moonlight in the month of September that can lessen the effects of werewolf transformation. I thought you might find that interesting, but knowing you, you've most likely read every damned book in this library," his tone was clear and steady, portraying no obvious emotion.

"No, I, uh… haven't read that yet…" Remus managed to sputter out in a weak, trembling voice. Sirius said nothing, but went back to reading intently. Remus sighed with a dreadful feeling welling up from the pit of his stomach.

"I heard you were up here and I-" He began, but was sharply cut off.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sirius commanded, setting his book down and looking directly into Remus' Amber eyes.

"I, well…I t-though you…. Well, I mean…" He stuttered. Sirius suddenly stood up and crossed the small amount of space between them until he was standing chest-to-chest with the well-built man.

"How long have you known me, Remus?" He asked firmly, a fire he'd never seen burning feircely within the deep brown pools staring at him.

"S-since my first year. But, you don't understand, I-"

"And, Have I ever hated or scorned you for your sometimes outlandish or generally impure thoughts? "

"No, Sirius, But it was different this time because-"

"And has there every been a time before this, Remus Lupin, that
I have not wanted or have not been willing to listen to you? I though you knew me better. I thought we had a friendship where we could tell each other anything. I told you EVERY single thought, wish or feeling I experienced. And you would keep this from me?"

"It's different this time! It's not some childish idea or some little detail that just unexpectedly joins itself with my main thoughts. I… I love you, Sirius. I love you!"

Sirius closed his eyes and turned his head away from Remus, who had a single tear beginning to slip gently from his eye.

"Did you ever stop to think, maybe you weren't the only one?"

Remus felt the breath catch in his chest. Had he just heard what he thought he did?

"I thought you said you told me everything?" Remus inquired.

"I have: A million times. In daily conversation when you do something totally stupid, I say the thing that's always on my mind; I love you." Sirius drew back from his friend, nervously scratching at his head.

"You what?" Remus asked.

"I love you, "He repeated, turning back to him.

"What about your engagement with Sarah?" Remus asked.

"Clever cover up, huh?" Sirius said, a slight smirk gracing his beauteous lips.

They remained silent, gazing at each other finally feeling the sensation of love reciprocated by the one they love. It was Remus who broke the silence this time.

"I never thought you had feelings for me," he said, lowering his head and letting the golden brown laced with grey mess layer over his shining eyes.

"You never asked," Sirius replied moving to Remus until they were but a breath apart and gently moved his lips up to meet his.