Unbecoming Conduct R/NC-17
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: Making another attempt to understand civilian behaviour patterns with digital assistance, Souske winds up in possession of some very dubious sources for such. Chaos and perversion ensues.

Disclaimer: Full Metal Panic, Souske, Chidori and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something. ... Whenever I get around to uploading it there. :)

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Merry XXX-mas!

This was released as one part of my smutty XXX-mas 2006 event, when I made a bunch of shit available at The Fanfiction Forum, ff dot net and fan-fics-r-us. Not all of it was smut, but most of it was at the very least naughty. What and where shit was released, is found here below:

FMP - Unbecoming Conduct Chapter 1 ( TFF for XXX-mas, ff dot net sometime after XXX-mas. )
HnG - The Scoundrel of Go Chapter 4 ( TFF for XXX-mas, ff dot net sometime after XXX-mas. )
HP - Black Heir Chapter 2 ( ff dot net, it had already been available at TFF for quite some time. )
HP - Fall of the Malfoys, Rise of the Blacks Chapter 2 ( ff dot net, it had already been available at TFF for quite some time. )
HP - Nymph in servitude Chapter 4 ( TFF, PP3+HaT Yahoo Groups, ff dot net sometime after XXX-mas. )
C Naruto - Master Nin Chapter 4 ( ff dot net, it had already been available at TFF for quite some time. )
Naruto - Master Nin Chapter 5 ( TFF for XXX-mas, ff dot net sometime after XXX-mas. )
NGE - A Night with Misato ( fan-fics-r-us for XXX-mas, it had already been available on TFF for quite some time. )
NGE - A Morning with Misato ( TFF for XXX-mas, fan-fics-r-us sometime after XXX-mas. )
Ranma ½ - Urd Muyo Chapter 1 ( ff dot net, it had already been available at TFF for quite some time. )
Vandread - Robinson Tokai Chapter 6 ( TFF for XXX-mas, ff dot net sometime after XXX-mas. )

And a naughty new year!

Chapter One:

"All right. Who did it?!" Chidori yelled angrily as she entered the room, glaring at her suddenly extremely intimidated classmates. The look in her eyes was one that she usually reserved for Sagara, and even he only got to see it after he'd been exceptionally stupid/fanatic/violent or just obnoxious in general.

In other words, he got to see that particular look in her eyes quite often.

"Who slipped a hentai game into the collection of dating sims Sergeant Otaku borrowed last week?" she clarified when nobody seemed about to offer her anything but scared and confused looks, her expression turning even more furious then before.

Oh yes, she was pissed. No doubt about that.

Then again, being tied up, gagged and subjected to some fairly humiliating experiences by Sergeant Otaku all through Sunday could explain that.

Even if it wasn't Chidori herself who had been subjected to that particular treatment.

But Melissa had been very generous with her venomous remarks, luridly graphic descriptions and the older woman had very nearly foamed at the mouth, as she practically assaulted Chidori this morning, demanding to know just whom was responsible for allowing Souske to wind up in possession of 'The taming Captain Shrew - A military BDSM simulation'.

The fact that it had been included in various dating sims, had led Sagara to believe that it was actually a valid approach to male-female interaction, leading to Major Mao spending her Sunday in ways she had never even imagined outside some of her darker fantasies before as Souske attempted to learn some social skills by putting theory into practise.

Melissa had been rather brutally returned to full consciousness, suffering from the beginning stages of the mother of all hang-overs due to being awakened just two hours after returning from an all all-night drinking binge. Being awakened by a slap to her ass, had not helped any either. Finding out that she was tied up, gagged and stark raving naked, had been the final straw.

Or so she had believed, until Souske had proceeded to demonstrate just how much he had learned from that stupid game, at the same time as her hang-over grew progressively worse.

Once he'd finally removed the gag, ropes'n cuffs, she had screamed at him non-stop for the better part of the evening, left him bruised from tip to toe and then stormed out to get drunk again, after getting him to promise to never ever do anything even remotely similar to what he had just done, ever again.

Unless she gave him permission, of course.

Some of it might be rather exciting, if she was sober and in a receptive state of mind at the time.

And now Chidori had been informed about it all, including Melissa's willingness to fool around with Souske if the timing was right, and by all the Kami, Chidori now wanted the responsible head or heads to roll for it!

"Ouch..." Souske whimpered as he slowly regained consciousness, forcing his eyelids up as he struggled up onto his feet. He rubbed his jaw and with a pained grunt, forced it back into the correct position. "Must have made a mistake somewhere..." he reasoned as he shuffled off towards the bathroom where he slipped into the shower to cleanse himself after yesterday's strenuous activities.

When he was somewhat refreshed, he wobbled out of the bathroom and slipped into the underwear he'd discarded yesterday and never got a chance to slip into again before Melissa became so irate. He glanced at his computer, only to discover that he was now missing the dating simulator he'd drawn inspiration from. His brow furrowed for a few moments before he somewhat hazily recalled that Mao had taken possession of it after her initial burst of violence, reducing the item in question into miniscule bits of metal and plastic, before she really got started on trying to do the same to him.

"This is a problem." Souske mumbled to himself. If his performance had been bad enough to warrant such a reaction from Mao, then he needed to immerse himself in the simulator and find out where he had gone wrong. Such violent reactions from her were usually reserved for Kurtz. Souske had never been exposed to it before and as such, could only conclude that he'd fouled up in some really spectacular way.

But without the sim, further studies to uncover his mistake were impossible and he certainly wasn't feeling up to the task of asking Mao to return the simulator until he was absolutely certain that she'd calmed down!

A supply run to correct this equipment shortage would have to be undertaken.

He hastily slipped into his school uniform and hesitated at the door. While he had often believed that Chidori was in danger at school, his guesses had always proven incorrect in the past. He thought about it for several long moments before he decided to skip school for once, in order to procure a new copy of the dating simulator for further studies. Chidori would be safe enough at school with Wraith watching over her, or so he hoped.

Half an hour later, he found himself standing at the counter of a moderately sized computer game retailer, sizing the clerk up for a moment before stating his reason for being there.

"I require a copy of 'The taming Captain Shrew - A military BDSM simulation'." Souske announced in a loud and clear voice, causing the clerk to flinch and a customer in a row at the back to drop the game he was currently examining.

"An old classic, eh? Well, I think I may have a copy of it in the back." the clerk eventually responded in a more moderated tone and volume of voice.

"The simulator in question is out of date?" Souske inquired.

"Well, yeah. It's almost three years old, as far as I can recall." the clerk replied.

"Do you have an updated version of the software in question?" Souske asked.

"Not the exact same one, but we do have a fine selection of similar games." was the clerk's response.

"I will require a copy of the software previously mentioned, as well as a copy of the similar software." Souske announced.

"Which one? There's many of them. In fact, we have an entire shel..." the clerk started to say.

"All of them." Souske interrupted, causing the clerks eyes to bulge out and the customer in the back to drop the game he was checking again.

"Kanna-chan, come on. What's the matter?" Kyoko asked.

"Nothing!" Kaname nearly snarled, stalking down the corridor, her furious visage causing other students to timidly step aside to let her pass unobstructed, while Kyoko hastily scurried onwards in her angry friends wake, just barely managing to keep up with the taller Kaname's hasty stride.

"You're nearly foaming at the mouth, Kanna-chan. Neh, what's wrong?" Kyoko insisted, causing Kaname to stop mid-stride, Kyoko just barely managing to stop herself from barrelling into her fiery friends back.

"That otaku skipped school today!" Kaname growled, gnashing her teeth together. "With his grades, he can't afford to do that and to top it all off, I have to head over to his bunker of an apartment and give him today's material. I am going to kill him!" she spat out and yanked out a small pile of papers from her bag, brandishing them about as if she was intending to brain somebody with them.

Which probably wasn't all that far from the truth.

"Uh, perhaps I'd better do it." Kyoko piped up and hastily pulled the papers out of Kaname's hand, clutching them fearfully to her chest as Kaname shifted her furious glare to her.

"You don't even know where he lives." Kaname stated after a few moments.

"But you obviously do, so you can tell me." Kyoko argued and after a few moments, Kaname sighed and shrugged, rattling off the address.

"That's... The Building next to yours." Kyoko exclaimed after a moment of consideration. "You never told me that you two were neighbours."

"It's not really something I want people to know. It's bad enough that he's always following me around like a lost puppy." Kaname muttered as the two started walking again, Kaname at a more moderate pace then before, which Kyoko was grateful for as she no longer had to jog in order to keep up with her taller friend.

"Perhaps he likes you, Kanna-chan?" Kyoko suggested.

"That otaku doesn't know what it's like to like someone." Kaname groused. "He's just being a major ass."

"You could teach him." Kyoko suggested helpfully.

"He's unteachable, incorrigible." Kaname instantly replied, then blinked. "Why would I teach him how to like someone?" she asked.

"You like him, don't you?" Kyoko hinted.

"Me? Him? Like? No way!" Kaname spluttered, then laughed her hysteric/nervous laugh, a sure sign to Kyoko that she'd nailed the situation, but that Kanna-chan was unwilling to admit it.

"Oh well, I'm sure we can find somebody else who can teach him. Ren-san thinks he's interesting, perhaps she'd do it." Kyoko responded airily. "I'll ask her tomorrow."

"That'll be fun." Kaname laughed. "When she's been around him a little more, I bet she won't find him interesting any longer. Heh, she'll probably ask to borrow my paper fan." she added and laughed again, though it was still her hysteric/nervous laugh, indicating that she was seriously uncomfortable with the current situation.

Kyoko smiled secretly to herself, Kaname was so easy to figure out.

+Knock+Knock+Knock+

Kyoko knocked again, impatiently tapping her left foot on the ground as she waited for a response to her knocking. She stayed well clear of the door-bell, recalling Souske's inclination to mess about with things to 'improve security'. Knowing him, he'd probably rigged a car battery to the doorbell in order to incapacitate possible terrorists who might come calling.

Like a terrorist would use the doorbell...

Souske was incredibly knowledgeable about a plethora of ways to kill, injure, maim and otherwise incapacitate dangerous individuals, but he was equally horribly lacking in common sense regarding when and how to employ these ways. It did provide her with ample amusement from time to time, but if one wasn't very careful and conscious of what Souske might have been up to, the seemingly simplest of actions could turn out to be very complicated and highly dangerous.

Like Souske, she had taken to using a strand of hair to ensure that her shoebox at school hadn't been tampered with, just in case he had installed a trap or something such in it.

For her own protection, of course.

But as she hadn't been exposed to gas, electrocuted, shot at, trapped in a cage or had the door swing out at bone-breaking speeds, it appeared as if Souske hadn't rigged the door to react to knocking.

But he wasn't answering either. Perhaps he wasn't at home?

She clutched the papers to her chest and stared down at the mail-slot, wondering if she dared to operate it and deposit the papers through that.

/No way!/ she decided, there was just no way he hadn't done something about that, considering what a nefarious terrorist could attempt to shove into the slot. At best, it was just blocked to prevent access. At worst, the entire floor might blow up if she tried to use it.

She swallowed nervously and knocked again.

+Knock+Knock+Knock+

"Who is it?" a terse voice inquired from within.

"It's me, Sagara-kun. Kyoko." she announced.

"Show yourself." Souske instructed through the door, causing Kyoko to take several deep breaths before she moved from beside the doorway and slowly stepped out in front of the door, allowing Souske to observe her through the peephole. "State your purpose for coming here." he ordered through the door.

"I've brought the printouts from school." she told him and held the papers up next to her head.

"Very well, hold on." he instructed her and Kyoko heard how latch after lock after latch was disengaged, before Souske opened the door, standing there in a rigid stance wearing his school uniform, a gun in his left hand pointing down at the ground.

"Here." Kyoko said and slowly handed him the printouts.

"Thank you, Tokiwa-san." he stated as he accepted the papers, briefly looking them over before he returned his piercing gaze to her. "Anything else?"

"Well, Kanna-chan was wondering why you didn't go to school today." Kyoko revealed after a few moments. "Are you sick, Sagara-kun?" she asked sympathetically.

"No, I am well within functional parameters and ready for deployment." Souske replied. "I was merely involved in coexistence training and social studies which I prioritized over school."

"'Coexistence training'? 'Social studies'?" Kyoko repeated. "Anything I can help you with?" she quickly asked, wondering about and fearing the sort of mistakes that Souske was capable of if he tried to understand society with his complete lack of common sense.

While any misunderstandings Souske would no doubt make in these areas would be highly amusing for her, Kaname wasn't in the most receptive states of mind at the moment. If he screwed up now, the fallout could be devastating. So although she might miss out on some awesome photo ops and a great deal of amusement because of it, she had better make sure to prevent him from making any major mistakes until Kaname had calmed down somewhat.

"If you are not otherwise occupied with previous engagements, I would appreciate the assistance. After all, theoretical studies can only get one so far. Practical application of these theories would be preferable." Souske replied after a moment of consideration, even offering her a small smile after recalling it's wide-spread use in the simulators he'd tried since returning from the store.

"I don't have any other plans for the rest of the evening." Kyoko admitted with a smile of her own after she had considered her depressingly empty schedule for the rest of the day. "Can I come in?" she asked.

"Affirmative, Tokiwa-san." Souske replied and stepped aside. "You truly don't mind providing me with assistance?"

"Not at all." Kyoko assured him. "I think it's great that you're finally taking an interest in how to better get along with those around you!"

"Excellent." Souske replied. "I owe you one, Tokiwa-san." he said.

"No worries, Sagara-kun. Happy to help." she dismissed his concerns. If she only knew how wrong she was, there was worries. Lots of them! "So, how can I help?" she happily and ever so innocently inquired.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow." Kyoko groaned as she carefully made her way down the steps from Souske's apartment building, letting out a relieved sigh as she reached the sidewalk. She slowly started walking, occasionally indulging in wide-eyed slow blinks of her eyes.

It had been an... Interesting evening.

When she had asked how she could be of assistance, Souske had picked up a small canister from his desk and Kyoko only had time for a very surprised yelp as he sprayed her face. She'd coughed and wondered just what had went wrong and what sort of misassumption Souske had made, before she lost consciousness.

When she came to, she found her torso resting on the back of Souske's couch. She had blinked and attempted to move, only to discover that her hands were cuffed behind her back and her torso was tied to the couch, keeping her from rising.

That had only been the beginning, however.

She'd never known that there were so many ingenious ways to induce pleasure and just how skilled the highly observant Souske was in cutting that pleasure off right before she would have peaked. She had spent hours on the edge of climax, which had reduced her to helpless whimpering and stuttering pleas for orgasms.

When his requests for her cooperation in return for those oh so glorious climaxes came, she'd agreed without hesitation. She'd allowed him to play with her tits without batting an eye. He'd been allowed to fondle her most private bits. She'd frantically strived to please him and he'd even been allowed to take all three of her virginities without a word of protest.

Indeed, all she had been capable of at that point had been pleasured moans and yells of pure ecstasy.

And now she felt sore, awkward and at the same time, oddly proud at the fact that she was now irrefutably a woman as opposed to the girl she had been when leaving school this afternoon.

The ways, means and person through which she had become a woman wasn't quite what she had expected and imagined for her first time, but she wasn't feeling too bad about it.

In fact, she wasn't feeling bad about it at all. She was willing to bet everything she owned that the amount of women who had such an incredibly pleasurable first time were easily counted. He had broken through her hymen and filled her up rather nicely in the middle of a multiple orgasm, so she hadn't even been aware of what had taken place before it was already over and done with.

Her rear had also been taken while her mind had been elsewhere and though the surprise of it all had been enough to draw her attention to what was happening, her distraction had proven enough that she didn't worry about it or feel very much pain until just before her body had grown accustomed to the odd sense of fullness. At that point, the pain was more of a sexual aide then a detriment to her enjoyment.

"Kyoko, what are you doing here?" Kaname suddenly asked and Kyoko yelped in shock at the unexpected question, whirling around to face an equally surprised-looking Chidori Kaname, carrying a paper bag filled to the brim with groceries.

"Kanna-chan!" Kyoko squeaked. "Oh, you surprised me." she said, patting her chest as she calmed down after the shock which had broken her train of thought.

"Sorry." Kaname apologised with a contrite expression, which quickly changed to one of curiosity. "So, what are you doing here at this hour?"

"The meeting with the photography club took a little longer then expected, then I hung around with Sagara-kun for a while after I had dropped off his print-outs. I'm just on my way back home now." Kyoko replied.

"At... Half past ten in the evening?" Kaname asked incredulously after a glance at her wrist-watch.

"Like I said, the club meeting took a while..." Kyoko mumbled and looked away, unable to face her friends gaze just now after the ridiculous lie she'd just told.

"You guys are nutters." Kaname snorted with a shake of her head. "There's nothing wrong in participating in after school activities, but geesh, you guys need to learn how to do things in moderation!"

"I guess..." Kyoko replied with a strained smile.

"So, you didn't see "Winds of"... ... Wait a minute, back up! You 'hung around' with Souske for a while?" Kaname suddenly asked with a faintly incredulous expression.

"Yes..." Kyoko reluctantly admitted.

"Whatever for?" Kaname inquired.

"He's interesting. I think I might even help him myself instead of asking Ren." Kyoko replied with a faint smile.

"Are you sick, Kyoko-chan? Do you have a fever?" Kaname asked and reached out to put her left hand on Kyoko's forehead. "He's a disaster waiting to happen!"

"Oh, he's got a lot to learn, certainly. But he's got potential. He has certain qualities I never even noticed before." Kyoko replied with a far-away expression and a widening smile.

"Qualities? Souske? Go home and get some sleep, Kyoko-chan. You're delirious." Kaname suggested.

"Really? You don't mind if I spend some time with him then, Kanna-chan?" Kyoko asked.

"Like I said. Get some sleep. You'll have a different perspective in the morning." Kaname replied with a faint snort.

"If you say so. But if I don't, do you mind?" Kyoko asked.

"Do whatever, Kyoko-chan. I don't care." Kaname denied fervently, but the near hysterical laugh she ended that statement with made it somewhat suspect.

/Whatever. If she's not woman enough to admit it, I won't keep on pressuring her to do so./ Kyoko thought and nodded thoughtfully in response.

"Thanks, Kanna-chan. I'll do that." Kyoko said.

The End!