Disclaimer: "Quixotic" is an original fanfiction by KIMIKO based on the storyline and characters of Kidou Senshi's Mobile Suit Gundam Seed Destiny. Please do not use any text or segments story unless permission is asked from the author.
Warning KIMIKO is not responsible for any offence against consumers.
Post- GSeed Destiny:
Quixotic
He thinks and he wishes and he's hopeful, that maybe, just maybe he doesn't love her anymore.
Tricky it was, having to check himself in the mirror every couple of hours or so, to ensure that his almost-perfect façade wasn't on the brink of slipping. Slowly but not surely, he tries planting the seed of denial in his heart.
Every night he whispers himself to sleep, I don't love her! I don't love her! Only to wake up in the morning to find her amber eyes staring straight back at him from his dressing-table mirror, then does he grasp that never in his life would he be able to block out the sensational feeling he experiences when she brushes her hand against his.
So one day he wakes up, with renewed determination that this would be the last time he hums her name to sleep. The last time he wakes up to an empty bed… with the absence of her warmth.
.
.
.
.
.
Athrun is a patient man and with this amazing quality, he waits and he waits and he waits – and then finally, finally, finally, she turns up.
He stalks up to her, unaffected by the number of parliament associates she has surrounding her. Pulling her away from the crowd, he drags her to the heart of the Athha Mansion – the Rosemary garden. Ultimately, he releases her hand and with his unwillingness to meet her gaze, he speaks as she stares into oblivion.
"I don't care if I have to wait forever. I'd be damned if I didn't have you in my life."
"Athrun… I…"
"No! You hush! Allow me to finish what I have to say before you bombard me with your questions," and abruptly, Herculean effort allowed to match his personality swells within him before he moves his emerald eyes towards hers. "It's never been you Cagalli; the problem always lied with me. From the reenlistment to ZAFT to the harsh pep talks and everything else that has happened and is happening, before, after and all the rest in between. I'm selfish and here I am admitting it. Because… to be downright honest, I love you Cagalli, and as cliché as it may sound, I'd rather be deprived of everything else just to have you."
Cagalli hears him and she absorbs what he says. And suddenly, everything is so darn clear and she cannot help but feel overwhelmed with the sudden mix of emotions. Gazing at him dazedly, she grins. I've never stopped loving you either. Athrun comes to a decision, and leisurely, he walks up to her and pecks her on her lips – passionately and gently at the same time. She responds. Though unsure at the beginning, gradually, her confidence builds and unconsciously, the kiss that started out soft and tender turns into a battle for dominance and assurance.
I'm here, he whispers that night. She is sure and he is sure and at that moment – their moment, everything, every single thing resolves around them. Lying in her bed, their bodies tangled in her sheets, she recognizes for the first time how soft the mattress is, how white the canopy is, how genuinely unguarded he is asleep. Athrun sleeps and he dreams, and he longs… and in the morning he wakes up, contemplating his desires until he sees her, sees her serene face and understands that all has been fulfilled. He pecks her once more and her eyes flutter open, and what he sees in her eyes is not the life of one who has lived for a mere 19 years, but one who has survived the worst of wars and experienced the most excruciating of pain and had her hands tainted with the reddest and filthiest blood, etched in her eyes.
Then, Athrun resolves to no longer whisper promises of readiness to die for her but to live because she lives (1). For a second, the uncertainties in Cagalli's eyes are once again visible. But before she is given another second to dwell about it, Athrun reaches out and pulls her into his chest. "Don't think…" he pleads, "just live and feel and love. Love me." She looks up to see his face, seeing nothing but closed eyelids and wet streaks tainting his ashen face.
"I'm never leaving," she murmurs. "So please, please don't shed another tear for me. Don't get angry with me. Just stay by my side. Not as Alex Dino, my bodyguard or Athrun Zala, an elite pilot of ZAFT. Just Athrun… and I'll be just Cagalli. Not the fiery princess of Orb, just Cagalli – the tomboy you met so many years ago."
All is silent for a moment and Cagalli crushes herself deeper into his chest. She yearns gravely for all that she's ever wanted from him – assurance, companionship, love. "We'll be nothing but Cagalli and Athrun, because I love you, Athrun, more than anything in this world! More than Orb, more than peace, more than heaven and god combined… I love you." Secretly, she is suddenly aware that maybe she isn't good at politics or piloting a Gundam like he is, but she could be the world's best lover in the history of all mankind. I'll give you more love than all the centuries of everyone else's love put together. She strokes his back and sings a lullaby to soothe his hiccups and soon, his breathing returns back to normal altogether.
At that moment, with him asleep and her sucking in all the months of being deprived of his love, they silently decide, to overlook everything – the whispers; the stares; the malicious words of reality, because Cagalli didn't want to be denied her fairytale, and Athrun, in return, wanted nothing but to love and be loved in return (2).
Notes:
(1) This quote is actually an adaptation of pratz's 'Being Athrun Zala'. Really good piece of fanfiction, go read it!!
(2) I know it's really cliché and all but this quote is originally by Eden Ahbez.