The waiting room from Hell. By Frida Louis Johnson
Disclaimer: I own no characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. But once I take over the world, she will feel my wrath! And if she does not surrender them to me, I will send my minion chipmunks out to attack her!
Note: this story takes place three years after Harry, Ron and Hermione graduate from Hogwarts. Do not be alarmed!
Chapter one: in which Ron and Hermione are rushed into the maternity ward.
"Push Hermione, puuush!" Ron screamed as he raced down the hospital hallway.
"You did this to me, you -------(you fill in the blanks. I don't like bad words.)!" Hermione screamed back. The gurney jolted across the hospital floor. "I hate you I hate you I hate you!" she panted several times then started again: " I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate-"
Meanwhile… In the waiting room…
Harry Potter paced back and forth. Hermione and Ron were his two best friends. They had asked him to be there. Ron and Hermione had been married for one year, they got married the summer after graduating. Ron and Hermione had finally realized their feelings for each other after Harry had defeated the dark lord for what? The eighth time? Voldemort had vanished into thin air. He was still around somewhere. But Harry Potter other things on his mind. His two best friends were going to have a baby. But he was really getting bored in the tiny waiting room. He had already read all the boring, old magazines sitting on the plastic table, and already played musical chairs with himself on the plastic chairs (you'd think they'd be able to make something nicer in a MAGICAL hospital) and graffitied the paintings of sails boats on the walls. They now had "THE BOY WHO LIVED WAS HERE" scrawled all over them. He knew it was wrong, but was so bored! He had also spent all his spare change on a nasty tuna fish sandwich frome one the big vending machines. Harry had no idea that it could take so long for some one to have a baby. He had been waiting for a full twenty minutes! He decided to ask someone.
"Excuse me Ma'am?" Harry asked a large nurse passing by. The nurse turned around. A large, sweaty, hairy masculine figure stood there.
"Oh, I'm sorry Sir, I thought you were a woman."
"I am a woman." The nurse said in a deep voice.
"Never mind." The large, hairy woman walked away. Harry located another person dressed in hospital garb. He approached the young woman with wild dark brown hair.
"Excuse me, but could you tell me how long it takes for a woman to have a baby?"
"Well… I'm not a maternity nurse, but I think it takes anywhere from ten minutes, to three days." Her eyes grew wild. "But if you poke 'em just right, they'll pop out like a gopher from his hole!" She then came in close to Harry and whispered: "have you ever blown up a balloon, then let it go?" She winked and nodded. Harry tried not to look mortified with the thought of a baby squirting out of Hermione and flying across the room erratically.
"Thank… you…" Harry muttered.
"Don't mention it! That's what I'm here for!" And the nurse skipped off. She only got about three skips away, when three buff guards came by and grabbed her.
"Come with us, Miss Stroud. We've been looking for you."
"But I'm perfectly fine! You can't take me back! You can't you can't you can't! QUACK! I'm a duck! I'm a duck! Quack! Quack!" the buff men dragged the woman away.
Harry sat down again and just stared at the opposite wall. Soon, another person joined him.
"Oh look who I happen to run into. Potter." Harry looked up. Draco Malfoy was standing at the entrance to the emergency room. He had a smirk on his face. And something else… Harry looked closer.
"Malfoy, what do you have in your nose?" Malfoy gave him a smirk and gave a hearty laugh.
"Wouldn't you like to know, Potty head!" Harry stood up.
"Malfoy, is that a… marble?"
"No, Stupid! It's a rememberall. You know, the kind that glow red when you forget something." He looked smug.
"I know that! Why's it up your nose?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out!"
"You know why. Tell me."
"I put it there…" The rememberall glowed bright red.
"Why on earth would you put a rememberall up your nose?"
"Well, Potter, you see, I am very rich and I can afford many, many rememberalls. Why do I need this one? Why not put it up my nose? Well… and I wanted to see what would fit in my nostril. I could fit a Bertie Bott's every flavor bean, a cheerio, a lot of the little porcelain figures my mother collects, a teaspoon, a table spoon, a wooden spoon, all the chess pieces, a quill, three insects of different sizes, my big toe, part of a chocolate frog, a peanut, I gave up on the moose head we have hanging above the hearth, a goldfish, my wand, my bottle of hair gel, a key, a bouncy ball, a cherry tomato, a carrot, three of my fingers, my hair dryer, a can of soup, an umbrella, and a gerbil …and most of the things came out when I plugged the other nostril, and blew through my nose. But this bloody thing just won't bloody budge!" He indicated the rememberall protruding from his left nostril.
Suddenly, Ginny came running in, gasping for breath.
"Am I too late? Did they already have the baby? Did they name it something else?"
"No," Harry told her. "Just calm down. The baby won't be born until… a long time later…" Ginny looked disappointed. But I have the perfect name! It's… Bertha."
"Bertha!?" Harry and Draco said at the same time.
"Bertha." Ginny said with a dreamy smile on her face. "Bertha." Then, piano music started playing. And drums. Draco and Harry looked around confused. They looked around to see where it was coming from. Ginny started to sing (at this point, you make up your own tune.):
"Bertha is the moooooooooooooooooooo-oo-oooooost wonderful name."
Invisible back round singers:
"ber-tha!"
Ginny:
"Bertha is the mooooooooooooooooooo-oo-oooooost wonderful name… of them all!"
IBRS:
"Of them aaaaaaaaaaaaaall!"
Ginny:
"My brother is having his first child, and the thought of what to name it, just drives me wild… iiiiiiiiiiit's bertha!"
IBRS:
"beeeeeeeeeeeertha!"
Ginny:
"I like the name, others just don't sound the same to Bertha!"
…To be continued!
What will happen to our brave heroes? Will Ginny get to name Ron and Hermione's child? Will Harry ever get out of the waiting room from hell? Will Draco get the stupid thing out of his nose? Find out this and more in the next thrilling chapter of:
THE WAITING ROOM FROM HELL!!!
Disclaimer: I own no characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. But once I take over the world, she will feel my wrath! And if she does not surrender them to me, I will send my minion chipmunks out to attack her!
Note: this story takes place three years after Harry, Ron and Hermione graduate from Hogwarts. Do not be alarmed!
Chapter one: in which Ron and Hermione are rushed into the maternity ward.
"Push Hermione, puuush!" Ron screamed as he raced down the hospital hallway.
"You did this to me, you -------(you fill in the blanks. I don't like bad words.)!" Hermione screamed back. The gurney jolted across the hospital floor. "I hate you I hate you I hate you!" she panted several times then started again: " I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate-"
Meanwhile… In the waiting room…
Harry Potter paced back and forth. Hermione and Ron were his two best friends. They had asked him to be there. Ron and Hermione had been married for one year, they got married the summer after graduating. Ron and Hermione had finally realized their feelings for each other after Harry had defeated the dark lord for what? The eighth time? Voldemort had vanished into thin air. He was still around somewhere. But Harry Potter other things on his mind. His two best friends were going to have a baby. But he was really getting bored in the tiny waiting room. He had already read all the boring, old magazines sitting on the plastic table, and already played musical chairs with himself on the plastic chairs (you'd think they'd be able to make something nicer in a MAGICAL hospital) and graffitied the paintings of sails boats on the walls. They now had "THE BOY WHO LIVED WAS HERE" scrawled all over them. He knew it was wrong, but was so bored! He had also spent all his spare change on a nasty tuna fish sandwich frome one the big vending machines. Harry had no idea that it could take so long for some one to have a baby. He had been waiting for a full twenty minutes! He decided to ask someone.
"Excuse me Ma'am?" Harry asked a large nurse passing by. The nurse turned around. A large, sweaty, hairy masculine figure stood there.
"Oh, I'm sorry Sir, I thought you were a woman."
"I am a woman." The nurse said in a deep voice.
"Never mind." The large, hairy woman walked away. Harry located another person dressed in hospital garb. He approached the young woman with wild dark brown hair.
"Excuse me, but could you tell me how long it takes for a woman to have a baby?"
"Well… I'm not a maternity nurse, but I think it takes anywhere from ten minutes, to three days." Her eyes grew wild. "But if you poke 'em just right, they'll pop out like a gopher from his hole!" She then came in close to Harry and whispered: "have you ever blown up a balloon, then let it go?" She winked and nodded. Harry tried not to look mortified with the thought of a baby squirting out of Hermione and flying across the room erratically.
"Thank… you…" Harry muttered.
"Don't mention it! That's what I'm here for!" And the nurse skipped off. She only got about three skips away, when three buff guards came by and grabbed her.
"Come with us, Miss Stroud. We've been looking for you."
"But I'm perfectly fine! You can't take me back! You can't you can't you can't! QUACK! I'm a duck! I'm a duck! Quack! Quack!" the buff men dragged the woman away.
Harry sat down again and just stared at the opposite wall. Soon, another person joined him.
"Oh look who I happen to run into. Potter." Harry looked up. Draco Malfoy was standing at the entrance to the emergency room. He had a smirk on his face. And something else… Harry looked closer.
"Malfoy, what do you have in your nose?" Malfoy gave him a smirk and gave a hearty laugh.
"Wouldn't you like to know, Potty head!" Harry stood up.
"Malfoy, is that a… marble?"
"No, Stupid! It's a rememberall. You know, the kind that glow red when you forget something." He looked smug.
"I know that! Why's it up your nose?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out!"
"You know why. Tell me."
"I put it there…" The rememberall glowed bright red.
"Why on earth would you put a rememberall up your nose?"
"Well, Potter, you see, I am very rich and I can afford many, many rememberalls. Why do I need this one? Why not put it up my nose? Well… and I wanted to see what would fit in my nostril. I could fit a Bertie Bott's every flavor bean, a cheerio, a lot of the little porcelain figures my mother collects, a teaspoon, a table spoon, a wooden spoon, all the chess pieces, a quill, three insects of different sizes, my big toe, part of a chocolate frog, a peanut, I gave up on the moose head we have hanging above the hearth, a goldfish, my wand, my bottle of hair gel, a key, a bouncy ball, a cherry tomato, a carrot, three of my fingers, my hair dryer, a can of soup, an umbrella, and a gerbil …and most of the things came out when I plugged the other nostril, and blew through my nose. But this bloody thing just won't bloody budge!" He indicated the rememberall protruding from his left nostril.
Suddenly, Ginny came running in, gasping for breath.
"Am I too late? Did they already have the baby? Did they name it something else?"
"No," Harry told her. "Just calm down. The baby won't be born until… a long time later…" Ginny looked disappointed. But I have the perfect name! It's… Bertha."
"Bertha!?" Harry and Draco said at the same time.
"Bertha." Ginny said with a dreamy smile on her face. "Bertha." Then, piano music started playing. And drums. Draco and Harry looked around confused. They looked around to see where it was coming from. Ginny started to sing (at this point, you make up your own tune.):
"Bertha is the moooooooooooooooooooo-oo-oooooost wonderful name."
Invisible back round singers:
"ber-tha!"
Ginny:
"Bertha is the mooooooooooooooooooo-oo-oooooost wonderful name… of them all!"
IBRS:
"Of them aaaaaaaaaaaaaall!"
Ginny:
"My brother is having his first child, and the thought of what to name it, just drives me wild… iiiiiiiiiiit's bertha!"
IBRS:
"beeeeeeeeeeeertha!"
Ginny:
"I like the name, others just don't sound the same to Bertha!"
…To be continued!
What will happen to our brave heroes? Will Ginny get to name Ron and Hermione's child? Will Harry ever get out of the waiting room from hell? Will Draco get the stupid thing out of his nose? Find out this and more in the next thrilling chapter of:
THE WAITING ROOM FROM HELL!!!