A/N: I have not given up on Rainbows, I merely got inspired! My friend and I were talking about how much we loathe Scrapper's attitude, and I love a good parental fic so...

Scrapper is a nine-year-old human, but he's like a cyborg-with wires on the inside and a few mechanical parts (including propellers).

In case you didn't see the warning in the summary: THIS FIC CONTAINS SPANKING/CORPORAL PUNISHMENT/TANNING/WHOOPIN'/WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT OF A MINOR. You have been warned. No like, no read. Thanks!

I don't own anything! Enjoy!

Link sighed, running his hand down his face and shaking his head.

"Zzzbt! I'm in trouble over here! Hurry up and help me, bzzzzat!"

Link drew his sword and lunged at the large, red bokoblin, attempting to push it off the bridge—but it was hard! And the little flying human was completely ungrateful of the effort Link was putting into this.

"HEY! Brzzpt! I need help… NOW!"

"I'm trying," Link grumbled under his breath, landing a final blow before dashing ahead.

"Bzzzrt! Wait for me!"

Link came to a stop and slumped his shoulders, waiting for Scrapper to catch up with him before taking off again. It wasn't long before Link had to draw his sword again, the telltale screams of, "Monsters! Zrrrbt, are you going to handle those or what?" ringing throughout the area.

"Yes, Scrapper, I'm handling them. Fear. Not."

Link was a fairly patient hero—he had to live with Fi's constant nagging and Ghirahim's cocky attitude, after all—but this was getting to be a bit much. It didn't help at all that when this was over, the little boy was going to fawn all over his Fi, officially dubbed "Scrapper's Favorite", and dismiss Link's authority with a wave of his hand and a brief sentence with 'Master Shortpants' somewhere in there.

"Bzzzrt! Help! DANGER!"

Now, Link wasn't going to pull the whole 'hero' card on the boy. Link had never asked to be treated like royalty or anything—that wasn't his style—but respect was something every child needed to learn. And it was something the young Lanayru boy had not a shred of.

"Monsters, zbrrrt, I can't stand monsters!"

Link finished off the bokoblin and continued across the bridge, keeping slow enough that the boy would keep up with him. After a semi-trying battle with the lizards, and bombing the goons that lived in the lava, Link sighed in relief, knowing the rest was a clean run to the gate. Scrapper, of course, threw in his annoying comments and mouthed off repeatedly about how slow Link was killing those beasts, and how if he wasn't carrying the basin, he would've done it all himself in half the time.

"Just pour the water in the frog's mouth." Link pointed up above the flames and wiped his forehead with his free hand.

"You want me to pour the water on this? No problem, zzzbrt!"

"Scrapper, don't drop—"

Scrapper didn't let him finish and instead, he threw the large basin down onto the frog. "There we go, brzzt!"

Link shook his head, pointing firmly at the shattered pieces. "We could've used that again, Scrapper! Now it's broken."

Scrapper shrugged, landing as his propellers retracted back into his body. "You didn't tell me, Master Shortpants."

Link frowned. "I was trying to, Scrapper. If you had listened for just a few seconds more, you would've known that."

Scrapped shrugged again. "Oh, well." He stretched his arm and plopped down onto the ground. "I'm tired after all that."

"Scrapper, I'm not done talking to you, and you can't sleep out here in the middle of danger! You could be hurt."

"Whatever…" The boy was already dozing, making soft beeping and snoring noises.

Link took him by the arm and pulled him up so he was standing, while Link himself knelt down and shook a finger in Scrapper's face. "Listen here, Scrapper. You need to pay attention when I'm talking to you, because it could be important. You need to clean up these pieces, and if you are tired, you need to return to Skyloft where it's safe before you go to sleep."

"Let go, zzat!" Scrapper shoved Link away, wrenching his arm free and stomping his foot. "I'll do what I wanna, zzrpt, so leave me alone!"

He turned and started to run up the long path towards the volcano, but Link snagged his arm. "Scrapper—"

"Let go!"
"Will you listen for one—?"

Scrapper kicked him in the shin, and screamed bloody murder, trying to pull out of Link's hold. "Brrzat, go away!"

"SCRAPPER!"

Scrapper was instantly silenced at the thundering shout, and he slowly lifted his head and looked at Link, for the first time, paying attention.

"That. Is. Enough."

Scrapper stood very still, and Link took off his sword and placed it on the ground, followed by his gloves and gauntlets.

"Fi, please wait here." Link reached down and grabbed Scrapped around the waist, carrying him into one of the side rooms by the frog gate and sitting down on the stone bench inside.

"Let go! Let go! What are you doing? Brrzat!"

Link set the boy on his lap and took him by the shoulders, quieting him with a stern look. "Scrapper, I have put up with quite a bit from you, and I know you were raised by robots who have no respect for humans, but you are human, and you will listen to those who know more than you."

"Fine, brzzt… I'm tired! I wanna sleep! Let go!"

Link sighed, realizing there was no other way to get Scrapper to learn. He picked the boy up and laid him over his lap, taking the dark brown trousers and tugging them down to Scrapper's ankles.

"Wh-What are you doing, zzat?"

"Scrapper, your behavior is unacceptable, and I won't tolerate it. You're getting a spanking."

Wrapping his arm around Scrapper's waist and raising one knee higher than the other, he pulled his arm back and brought it wound with a sound smack against the boy's exposed bottom.

"Ow!" Scrapper let out a high-pitched, mechanical squeal in pain, kicking his legs wildly as Link's hand came down again and again. "Stop! Stop it, BRZZAT! I'll listen, I promise!"

Link nodded, striking him rhythmical with equal force each time. "I know you will, Scrapper. Hopefully this will teach you to program yourself better."

At stroke eight, Link stopped and let the Scrapper sob over his lap for a little while, keeping one hand on his back and rubbing in small circles to comfort him. In all honesty, the skin had only been turned a very light shade of pink, and Link had not struck him that hard. But apparently Scrapper was very upset.

After a few moments, Scrapper looked up at him, wiping tears from his eyes. "You're mad at me, aren't you?"

Link was shocked, and he quickly shook his head. "No, I'm not mad. I was frustrated earlier, yes, and I was sad that I had to make you cry to get you to listen, but I was never mad at you." Scooping the boy up into his arms and returning his little pants to where the belonged, Link gave him a big hug.

"Okay, brzzt, I'll remember to listen, Master Shortpants. Can I still call you Master Shortpants?"

Link laughed lightly, standing up and putting the young flyer on his hip. "Yes, you can still call me Master Shortpants."

Scrapper nodded, and then squirmed to get down once they got outside. Link put him on the ground, and Scrapper dashed over to the sword, nudging it. Fi popped out, floating midair as Scrapper looked up at her proudly.

"Did you see that, Mistress Fi?"

Fi nodded.

"If there's anything else I can do to help, let me know, brzzzat! Anytime at all!"

Link smiled down at him, tousling his hair.

"I gotta go back to Gonzo now, zzzzz!"

The propellers appeared out of his back again, and he took off into the sky, soon a speck in the distance.

"Master," Fi said, turning to Link. "There is a 100% chance your disciplinary actions will be met with a positive response and will eradicate his strong dislike of you as a person in future situation."

Link chuckled softly, returning his sheath and gloves before walking to the temple. "Good to hear it."

"There is also a 95% chance you are feeling very paternal in this current moment."

Link's smile did not leave his face, but he merely nodded. He didn't need a statistic to tell him that. He could feel it inside. All the way from his core to his forest green tunic.

A/N: GAHHHHHH terrible ending *dies* I hope you liked it! Review iffin' you have the time or want to! Thanks!