A peek into the thoughts of Raven at some point during the series.

Warnings: Cynical thoughts and angst of the worst sort.

Disclaimer: Teen Titans does not belong to me and I am receiving no profit.

Raven wondered sometimes why they bothered. It wasn't like she would ever be able to truly feel- not after all of the training she went through to push back her emotions. She would never be able to find Beast Boy's and Cyborg's antics amusing, never feel concern over the way Robin just pushed himself so hard, never feel the friendship that Starfire insisted on preaching about. It really was quite pointless.

They included her in all the things they did anymore. It was becoming overwhelming. Starfire constantly wanted to have girl talks, Beast Boy and Cyborg kept asking her to participate in their childish antics. Robin came to her with offers of sparring and matters needing tactical help. She knew that some of it at least was due to the episode with Malchior. She knew also that they were using a very precise branch of logic – if you drag someone, kicking and screaming, into your world, they can be forcibly made to like it if they aren't left alone for one single solitary moment.

The concept was admirable in theory, but lacked any sense in actual practice. It only succeeded in setting Raven on edge and weakening her already tenuous control on her emotions. It did not help that one day, completely out of the blue, Beast Boy had told her that they were trying to help her remember what it was like to be human. She now had an answer to her ponders, but that didn't help her in the least. She wondered then when they had forgotten - even Starfire, who was in the same figurative boat – that she had never been human to begin with.

She was beginning to see in her deepest mind that they would never be able to truly understand.

Raven let loose a bitter laugh at this realization and wondered why it had taken so long for her to figure it out. It wasn't all that hard to see, when one decided to look. The villain alarm went off then, and she wondered if she would be able to hunt down villains for much longer. She was beginning to think that not all that much separated her and them, after all. It seemed to her that most fiends were doing what they did for recognition, for understanding; for what Raven herself craved.

It was not a comforting thought; but then, what was? She would continue on as she had since she joined the Titans and pretend away the fact that she would always feel the pull of the darker side of humanity. She would live contentedly in her little dream world, always wondering what that other side might be like and if she would be understood there. She doubted she would fin such as she craved anywhere.

She was, after all, a demon's daughter.

I have no idea where this came from other than that I've been in a cynical mood for a while now and had the urge to write something that was not my usual humor one shots for this fandom. I'm anxious to know how people think this turned out, as I've not written a great deal of angst before.

Feedback would be appreciated.

Shadowed Eyes of an Angel