"Empty Confessions"

There are moments that I am led to believe that I have everything I ever wanted. Well I do, in some ways.

First, I'm in a new school- a school I've always wanted to be in, a sophomore in an all-girls high school.

Second, Im still with my bestfriend and my Grandma is in good shape- save for the time that she freaked out when I cut my hair into a bob. I laughed at her reaction, she totally loved my long locks.

Third, I'm sitting here in the train- I thought I missed it but as luck helped me out, I made it.

Times like these, I want to tell myself that everything around me is in place and I won't be broken ever again. But like all other things that are unreal, all things that are just a product of my imagination.. as the train slows down, reality sets in.

He just sat there, his head turned away- like he had his own little world that I can't come across. He clutched his bag like treasures were hidden in it and he kept quiet while people near him are chatting away. He was always like that, always distant and cold. never caring and I know I should never try to be part of him but I couldn't it.. It was like my whole body was wrapped in chains and a thread ties me up in his pinky.

He stood up, something so casual, something so ordinary and usual but that is just what i need. Someone real, Someone like him.

x 0 x 0 o 0 x 0 x

I was never into the whole "fitting in" business with a crowd, but the new me? it was someone I never thought existed. A Ryuzaki Sakuno who could talk infront of a crowd. A Sakuno that could walk across the hallways with her head help up high.

" Ryuzaki, pass the newspaper please. "

Kawamura-sensei brought my thoughts back and I handed him the paper. He lways wanted to read the paper, with the same old news inside. unchanging. His glasses tilted downward but he didn't care.

"We have a tennis match later."

tennis.

what was that word again?

Few years ago, my world revolved around those six letters and someone who has his name splattered all over the pages of every tennis magazine I see. I tightened my grip and tried my best to smile.

"I can't. I have a meeting with the student council."

"Ah- Ryuzaki, You're not yet the president and you're just in your sophomore

year..you better take it easy."

"I'll try. But the Sports Festival is coming up and I have to help out. "

"Now that you said it, you better see what's going on outside. "

"What's going on?" I inquired.

"Something about a tennis player."

I Looked at the students all gazing at someone in particular in the fields. All eyes were glued pass the windows and I pushed my way into the crowd- only to find myself staring at the one person that I swore never to look at again. I'm no longer the same twelve year old who cried so easily.

"Can you believe it? Its Echizen-Kun!! He came even if we didn't give a formal invitation!"

I smiled and felt a surge of blood pump from my heart.

"He was always like that.." I said softly.

"always what?"

"unwelcome.. "