A/N: This is just a short fic I scribbled out really really fast. It's not that good, but it's still cute. Read and Review, yo!
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If I could be more like you, I would be a better me.
If I could just become as amazing as you are, maybe then you would see me as more than just a passerby.
You're just so amazing, you seem impossible to reach. I feel like I'm not worthy of you. You're too perfect.
And I love you.
At least, those were the things he had wanted to say. He thought about it often enough. Thing is, Ikki didn't seem like the type to take that kind of thing easily. If anything, Kazu would only be risking his own embarrassment. Yeah, announce to your hero that your gay – that's the smartest idea, like, ever.
Kazu huffed heavily. He didn't even know if Ikki was straight or not. Well, he could be bi. Yeah, he was surrounded by beautiful girls all the time, but there was also Akito, always clinging to his arm and nuzzling into his chest with wide smiles and giddy giggles. Hell, he'd even kissed him.
That right there would send Kazu into a spiraling mindset. Akito was ahead of the game. He had stolen the kiss from Ikki that he had only dared to daydream about. He climbed into bed with the boy. Called him Ikki-kun. They lived in the same house! Everything that he wanted to do but couldn't, because to the outside world he wasn't gay, and he was supposed to be grossed out by such behavior, even when Ikki himself seemed somewhat passive about it, at least over time.
But did that mean he swung both ways? Sometimes that kind of thing was hard to spot.
As much as he hated it, he was jealous. Why couldn't he feel comfortable with the idea of being attracted to the same sex? Why couldn't he be so open about what he wanted from Ikki? Why couldn't he be so openly honest about his feelings as he was inwardly? Was he really such a coward?
Kazu slammed his head into his waiting hands with a growl, fingers digging into his scalp and ruffling his hair, his beanie sliding back until it fell to the ground.
Of course, Kazu reminded himself as his fingers let up slowly and reclaiming his hat, just because Ikki allowed Akito to do such things, didn't necessarily mean that he returned those feelings. Right? Not really, anyway.
"Kazu!"
Ikki's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and Kazu felt like an idiot for forgetting that the object of his lust was so close by.
"I'm alright!" he replied quickly, before he could even ask the question that was so obviously written on his face. "I'm just… I have a headache."
"You should head home then," the crow suggested, adopting a worried look and placing a hand on the blonde's shoulder. Kazu tensed and looked away just in case he blushed. Ikki was touching him, showing concern for him, and he couldn't even meet the other boy's eyes because of it.
My, my, he had it. He had it bad.
Seriously, though. What was so hard about it? Just… say it. Three little words, quick and painless.
I love you.
Or maybe a little less direct.
Ikki, I think I love you.
Is that even considered less direct? But it was also a lie. Kazu didn't think, he knew.
Ikki, we need to talk.
No, 'coz then it sounds like something is wrong. Is there?
Do your legs hurt? 'Coz you've been runnin' through my mind all day, babe.
Kazu had to laugh out loud at that last, desperate thought. Girls would hit you if you said that, guys would give you a strange look. Either way it was an automatic fail. How could such a simple phrase be so hard to say?
I.
Love.
You.
I love you.
It was really easy in his head, anyway.
He turned to Ikki after the flitting in his stomach had died down enough. He met Ikki's eyes and opened his mouth, and air seemed to get stuck in his throat. His tongue went dry, his throat tight, his hands clammy. He wasn't really going to say it, was he? Say it and risk the friendship that he held so dear, get kicked off the team and never see him again?
So he was risking a lot. He still took another breath to try again.
Still, nothing. And like some bodily instinct, because he was panicking and panicking bad, his mouth snapped shut then open again, and he jetted forward, crashing his lips into Ikki's and stealing a very quick, very intense kiss before ripping away and running down the street.
It's over, it's over, but I did it.
If a kiss didn't say 'I love you' Kazu wasn't sure what else he could have done to tell him, 'coz he certainly wasn't going to say the damn words. But now Ikki knew, and even if they never saw each other again, he would understand, and over time, he'd be okay with it. 'Coz he had kissed Ikki. It was worth it.
Wasn't it?
Oh man, I just messed up big time! Now he'll never –
His thoughts halted when he fell to the ground, face rubbing into the gravel and a weight on top of his body to keep him there.
"Let… let me go!" Kazu growled, not wanting to be seen like this, not like this. "Get offa me!"
Instead of doing as he asked, Ikki grabbed Kazu's jacket and roughly flipped him onto his back. The jet cringed at the rocks that pricked his back and coughed at the clouds of dirt that spiraled up from his impact, but it didn't hurt as much as Ikki seeing him so pathetic. He averted his eyes, even as Ikki grabbed his chin with his hands.
Kazu opened his mouth to apologize, to plead Ikki to let him go and hide for a while, but it wasn't happening. In fact…
Ikki kissed him.
In case you didn't catch that, Ikki, kissed, him. And the world stopped. His heart stopped. His struggling stopped. Because Ikki kissed him, was kissing him, and hadn't pulled back yet.
But when he did, oh when he did… Kazu's world shattered.
In a good way. In the way that made him dizzy and paralyzed with shock. Because Ikki was smiling at him, straddling him. And Kazu smiled too, because with Ikki's next worlds, he saved Kazu from himself. From everything dark that would have threatened to swallow him whole if he didn't.
"What took you so damn long?"