AN:

Title: Visions Of A Former Self

Words: 596

Romantic Pairings: Gene&Alex.

About: Ashes To Ashes

It had been a year since Gene had literally forced Alex into The Railway Arms. The twelve months following her departure had been bitter and cold for him, like a three hundred and sixty five day winter. He felt cut off from the team; he no longer felt warmth and pride towards them, just a sense of loss.

"We're off to Luigis Guv" Terry spoke, popping his head into Gene's office "Are you coming?"

He shook his head "No thanks, I've got stuff to do"

Gene watched Terry leave CID with the other officers. He waited half an hour, like he did every night, before leaving the office and heading over to Alex's old flat. Gene had been staying there ever since she had left, though out of respect he never slept in her bed, instead he slept on the sofa. He'd stand in her bedroom sipping a glass of whiskey and just look around, imagine her lying in bed or brushing her hair. He sat on the floor and rested his head against the wall, this is what his pitiful existence had come down too, imagining what the love of his life used to do. He hated to think that he actually needed someone, not just someone though...Alexandra Drake.

He blinked the tears from his eyes and looked at the bed, he needed it, he needed to feel close to her, needed to smell her perfume and feel the soft silky sheets. He downed his whisky and went into the bathroom, showering quickly before slipping into bed. He sighed and closed his eyes, smiling softly as he smelt her perfume on the pillow next to him.

'What are you doing Gene?' Alex smiled, leaning against the doorframe.

He turned over and looked at her, smiling "Just having a lie down"

She stepped closer to the bed, unfastening her silk dressing gown and letting it fall to the ground, revealing dark blue lingerie "What do you think Gene?"

"I think you look beautiful, as always"

"Let me come to bed with you Gene" she spoke, walking around to the other side of the bed slowly "It's so cold, these winter nights are cold, I need you to keep me warm"

"You can't Alex, you know you can't"

"I need you to touch me Gene" she breathed, running her hands through her hair seductively "I need to feel your hands on my skin, your lips on mine; I need to smell your aftershave"

He sat up and sighed "Bolls no..."

"It's your fault Gene!" she snapped, pointing at him accusingly "You sent me here and now I'm trapped, I can't come back to you and I'm alone, I'm so alone Gene"

He watched, heartbroken, as she sank to her knees sobbing "It hurts me Gene, I feel so empty...like I'm dying, and you know what that means? It means you're killing me, Gene Hunt, you're murdering me"

"Alex stop..."

She stood up and walked towards the bed, reaching out to him "I need to touch you!"

Gene got up off the bed, backing away as she followed him; arms outstretched "You can't touch me! You're not allowed!"

She screamed and ran at him, just before her hand made contact to slap his left cheek, Gene flinched. When he opened his eyes he looked around the empty room, bursting into tears. It was the same every time, she'd disappear the second he squeezed his eyes closed. It was the only way he would see her, to imagine her, but it hurt him so bad. No pain, no gain.

What do you think? Is it worth continuing? Teehee!