For my...

For my country, "I'll press it!" I warned, my finger hovering above the watch that was latched onto my wrist. "I will. So don't you dare move."

I could hear my voice quivering and almost had to laugh at how pathetic I sounded. What was I? Some rookie cop who had to stop her first robber on the job? No I wasn't. I was a soldier. And a soldier should sound like one, not like some squealing school girl scared enough to wet herself. While I was trying to look tough though, pushing my chest forward and standing tall, I could hear his laugh echo throughout the entire factory perfectly. It was as if he'd planned it, which he probably had.

"Do it." The man in front of me said as he moved closer towards me, step by step. I didn't press the button. "Come on then, poppet." He continued, starting to sound slightly impatient. "Press it."

He was trying to lure me into his trap, whatever trap that was. No wait… He'd already done that. So what the hell was he trying to accomplish now?

"PRESS IT." he suddenly yelled, lunging right into my face and grinning widely, his metal teeth showing and the stench of his breath reaching my nostrils. Then again, I couldn't be smelling much better considering the conditions we'd been in just a few hours ago, chasing after those inhuman things that had decided earth was a good place to start their universe domination. My mind didn't have time to wander off to that however as suddenly I felt a wet intrusion on my face. He'd licked me! And worst of all, I wasn't even grossed out by it!

"Pressssssss." he whispered then, his face just inches from mine. "It." he finished. His eyes were burning with desire, but I wasn't sure what the desire was for. He was too confusing to understand, let alone to keep track of. A part of me hoped however it was meant for me, that he desired me, yet chances of that being true were slim considering his track record.

He was still staring me in the eye, willing me to press that button. But instead the only thing I could do now… was give up. I let out a defeated sigh and lowered my arms to my side again. I didn't dare look at him but it didn't matter either way. It was too late. I was too far gone. I'd never press that button. I couldn't. And he knew it. He knew everything about me. Known it since the beginning. He'd used that knowledge to get to me. And how he'd gotten to me. I couldn't even press a little button on my wrist to make a murdering sonofabitch clown's head explode. How proud would my father be of me now?

"Well if you won't press it," He sang, doing what seemed like a little dance in his place. "I will." he hissed and grabbed my arm. I tried to fight him off but it was too late, I heard the beeping countdown sounds coming from the device. No.

For my heart…. I would sell out my country. I looked up at him for a very short moment, seeing it in his eyes. He'd won and he knew it. I felt tears starting to form in the corner of my eye as I quickly pressed 'cancel' on the watch, and filled in my password to stop the beeping. God, now it had gotten even worse than I could've imagined. I fucking saved the murdering sonofabitch's life. A tear escaped at this realization and I heard him chuckle to himself, or to me, I wasn't sure.

"Ahww so you do care." he said and then started laughing, loud. I felt defeated. How had it gotten this far? How had I gotten from being the tough bitchy captain of the suicide squad to becoming this man's 'poppet'? Where had it gone wrong?

I knew the answer to that question... It had gone wrong the moment I'd let him in. When that had happened? Well that would probably remain a mystery to me for the rest of my life.

"Now, tell me." he said as he backed up a little, still grinning widely. His eyes were dancing in excitement and I wondered if this had been his plan all along. Of course it had been, why did I even bother asking? He chuckled before asking the next question, sounding genuinely curious as to my answer "How do you feel about a life of crime?"

I looked up at him and in an instant I felt my entire set of values just… disappear. Poof, they were gone. What were they anyway? Nothing but a set of meaningless words written by meaningless people thinking meaningless things.

They'd been taught to me by a father who died serving his country, even though his country fucked him over. What did his values bring him? Death. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Then they'd been stressed and strengthened by the American agency who I was working for at the moment, though not for long I presumed. Then again, what had they ever done with those values? I know, they crushed them, just like they crushed me when it got difficult for them.

Those values weren't worth shit. And now in front of me stood a man that had rewritten them. His eyes might show little sanity, but at least he held up the ideals that he had, even if they were… evil. No. not evil. Just convenient. For him. But isn't that the exact same thing everyone does? Change their values when it becomes inconvenient for them?

The values this man stood for though, compared to those that had controlled me all my life, sounded a lot better. At least those wouldn't stab me in the back with unexpected death and destruction. They'd stab me right in the heart. But at least then I'd see it coming.

I looked at him again and smiled a little, unsure at first but soon genuinely as the thought of being free dawned on me.

"I say, why not."

He cocked his head to the side, seeming to be thinking a moment. Then he grinned, licking his lips. "Say that again? I didn't heeeaaar you." he sang.

"I say-" I started repeating, louder this time but before I could finish the sentence I was falling. He had pushed me off the ledge.

For about a second I felt the betrayal hit me, tearing my heart up into tiny pieces. But then I realized something as I was flying and saw him grow smaller, hearing his laugh again fill the air. I'd gotten exactly what I'd longed for all these years. A chance to live. He hadn't pushed me to kill me. He'd done it to save me. Save me from myself. And as that realization hit finally, for the first time in my life, I felt free.

It wasn't long before I heard a splash before and felt the liquid surround me. When looking down from the ledge earlier I hadn't known what was in the containers, so for a moment it felt just like falling into a pool. Then the burning started, and oh how it burnt. It was as if my skin was on fire while at the same time someone had pushed me into a giant blender. It made me want to scream but I knew that if I tried the liquid would also enter my lungs, which was better to be avoided. For a few moments I was paralyzed with the pain, my lungs burning too but from a lack of oxygen rather than from the acid. Then a thought crossed my mind that changed everything.

NOT for my country. NOT for my stupid values. I thought. Instead I started swimming for just one thing, my survival.

I felt like I was almost going to lose consciousness but didn't just give up. I couldn't let them win, whoever 'them' was. My mind wasn't making much sense anymore, but it didn't have to, I only had to keep pushing on. Then I felt my fingers grab ahold of the edge of the container and with all the strength I had left I pulled myself up, filling my lungs with as much air as would fit. I was in more pain than I'd ever been in my life and my heart was beating out of my chest, but I was able to climb out at least. I bent my body over the edge and let myself fall to the ground, it couldn't hurt much more anyway. I sat up slowly and lay there against the vat of acid, shivering uncontrollably both because my clothes had disintegrated as well as shock was setting in. I could feel my consciousness leaving me, slowly. My mind trying to make sense of it all but failing miserably.

Suddenly I noticed a flurry of neon green and purple, and felt something warm being wrapped around my shoulders. What? I opened my eyes again and looked down, purple. It took my mind a second to recognize it and when I did I felt my heart swell. A coat. His coat. I did my best to look up and found his eyes, showing mixed emotions which my mind couldn't process anymore. Then again, it never had been able to.

"Smiiile." he said, his voice barely recognizable from the darkness it came from. But I did.

With the last bit of strength I had left in my mind and body, for my Joker, I smiled.

Hey everyone, hoped you liked it! Please tell me what you think, I'd love to hear it. I saw Suicide Squad not long ago and fell in love with the Joker, so yeah. I started a Joker/OC story, which I might upload later on, and while writing that I came up with this. Also a Joker/OC but just a oneshot 'cause I felt like it.

Anyways thanks for reading,

love,

Me