...I can see you, you know.

I can plainly feel your never-ending despair flowing from you. I can feel the endless sorrow and boundless guilt for your weaknesses as if it were my own. I can hear the grief laden thoughts that pass through your mind like so many ghosts from your recent past, tormenting you with their presence. I can see your red-rimmed eyes dripping with woe and disbelief of your own deeds. I can taste the salinity of your bitter tears as they journey down your pale, drawn cheeks. You deserve to cry. Look what you have done to me. I have every right to loathe you.

You have killed me.

I hate you!

You have saved me.

I love you.

But wait...now I can physically feel you. You are touching me...lifting my lifeless body from the gory crystal altar; the altar of my demise. You are carrying me somewhere, though my shattered perception of reality cannot comprehend where.

Your arms are wide, strong, and steady, never wavering under the dead weight of my slain form. Your stride is long and drawn, as if you are afraid to reach your destination.

Where are we going, Cloud?

Please...take me back to the Gold Saucer. Let me ride in the gondola with you one last time, wallowing in that agonizingly wonderful limbo of love and hesitation. Return me to Midgar with my flowers inside that tiny, dusty church where you fought for me. Rescue me once again from Hojo and his evil contraptions of 'science'. Chase your elusive nymph through the sleeping forest one more time. Search for me as if you will never see me again.

Because you won't.

You saved me.

I love you.

You killed me.

I hate you!

We are before a pristine lake now. I feel you shiver as you step lightly, slowly, into the frigid spring-fed water. I see your flawlessly blue eyes roving painfully over my bloody body, see them catch on the seeping wound that you could not save me from. One lone droplet of pure self hatred falls from your warm, living flesh onto my cold, deceased figure.

Cloud, what are you doing?

You are waist deep in aqua now. Your body quivers and shakes with the strong sobs that are now wracking your body. A myriad of emotions flicker across your face as you bend down and slowly brush your velvet lips against my clammy forehead, and yet another tear hits my face. I barely feel it. All sensations are becoming numb as I sense the Earth pulling at me, calling to me. I must fight it. I belong with you. I am you.

Cloud...why are you letting me go?

Your personal torment is evident on your face as you drop me from your desperate grasp, surrendering me to the thick water. I am sinking...sinking forever as I watch the sadness complete its hold upon your soul.

The world is fading rapidly. All I see is the sunlight glittering on the surface of my tomb. All I feel is cold. All I hear is the soft whirring of liquid as I disturb its ancient set pattern. But still, I know you are there.

I barely feel the impact of my limp body against the soft sand. From far off, your choked cries resonate through what is left on my mind and breaks my now still heart. The water vibrates as you fall to you knees, gripping your head in your hands.

But...something else is stirring here. Life. Hope.

Holy.

I have saved you.

Please, love me...

I have killed you.

Please hate me...

...I love you....