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RESIDENT EVIL: GROUP THEARPY -- PART 2
By: FOXFIRE and ERIC DRAVEN
Sign up sheet:
Leon Kennedy
Claire Redfield
Steve (monster) Burnside
Alfred Ashford
Alexia Ashford
Alexander Ashford
Zombie
Hunter
Jill V.
Nemesis
A. Wesker
Barry Burton
Resident Therapists: Mr. Jon Dough Mrs. Jayne Dough
Today's session: Coping with our feelings
GROUP THERAPY ROOM - DAY
MR. DOUGH
I hope everybody got some cake.
Nemesis looks up from the cake
NEMESIS
(GARBLED) stars...
Mr. Dough glares at Nemesis
MRS. DOUGH
Well, if everyone would take their seats, I would like to welcome a new friend to the circle.
Barry Burton walks slowly into the room, the door suddenly slams shut. A locking device can be heard.
ALFRED
What the hell...??
BARRY
What is this?
MR. DOUGH
This is a thearpy group Barry, remember? You, uh, *just* signed up not more then an hour ago.
BARRY
What?
MRS. DOUGH
Uh, please. Just take a seat.
Mrs. Dough beckons to an open seat by Wesker
BARRY
M'Kay
Barry takes his seat, Wesker slowly scoots away from him, getting too close to Hunter who growls.
WESKER
Eee.
Barry eyes him. There is a nervous silence in the room.
WESKER
What the hell are you staring at tubby?
BARRY
Look you--
MR. DOUGH
Okay! Can I get a volenteer please? Barry since your new, would you like to go?
BARRY
What is this?
MR. DOUGH
Your just supposed to tell us how you are feeling.
BARRY
About?
MR. DOUGH
Anything.
BARRY
Well... I'm, uh, kinda hungry.
Barry reaches into his fanny pack (a purple powerpuff girls pack with gold foil trim) and pulls out a turkey sandwich... On rye.
Alfred watches. His left eye twitching.
ALEXANDER
(MUFFELED) What's that? Fooood I smell? I've missed my last three feedings. I'm quite.....ravenous...
Barry tears off a chuck and throws it at Alexanders feet. Being chained and quite unbalanced, Alexander bends down and viciously tries to get the chunk with his teeth. Alexia looks flustered.
ALEXIA
God daddy, your embrassing me! Have a little dignity!
ALEXANDER
(MUFFLED) Quiet Bitch! I'm lucky if you change me twice a week! Let alone feed me!
Alexia blushes and hides her face in her hands
ALFRED
Don't call her a bitch, Old Man!
ALEXANDER
(MUFFELED YELL) F you! Oooh, you little homo!
Leon makes kissing gestures toward Alfred, and licks his hands for some reason...
ALFRED
I am not gay!
ALEXIA
You're... not?
ALFRED
Nooo. What are you talking about?
MR. DOUGH
Ok, let's just move on
ALFRED
No wait! Do I come off as gay or something?
Alexander chews part of the chunk into a mush and spits across the room hitting Jill in the face.
JILL
You sick OLD F--
Mr. Dough interupts her.
MR. DOUGH
Please Jill, I'm sure he didn't mean it. I'm pretty sure he meant to hit another. Perhaps Zombie.
ZOMBIE
Hey!
Hunter runs over to Jill and stars licking the goo off her face.
JILL
Get him off!! Get him off!!
Wesker jumps out of him chair, tipping it over. He draws a 9mm and aims it at Hunter
WESKER
Hands off my woman!
JILL
What?
WESKER
That's right. Don't you remember our night of passion?
JILL
What?? Eww! I'd never touch you!
Alfred jumps up, accidently knocking Alexia over. She falls over on the floor.
Alfred takes out his 30.06 bolt action Remington with a magnifying scope.
ALFRED
Put down the gun!
WESKER
What? Where the hell were you hiding that?!
ALFRED
That's not important. Now PUT DOWN THE GUN.
Wesker
No!
Hunter has stopped licking Jill and is watching with fear. Steve grabs Claire as if to protect her and she shoves him away.
STEVE
I'm just trying to protect you!
CLAIRE
What? Those guns are probably not even loaded.
A shot rings out, hitting Zombie.
ALFRED
Sorry, my fault.
ZOMBIE
Aw crap, you know I can only take so many bullets.. you know.
Leon reaches out as if to comfort him.
ZOMBIE
Back off fruity. I don't play butt-darts
ALFRED
Now, PUT DOWN THE GUN.
WESKER
I'm NOT putting the gun down!
ALFRED
PUT DOWN THE GUN!
WESKER
I'm AIN'T puttin' down the gun!
ALFRED
PUT DOWN THE GUN!
WESKER
Stop saying that!!
ALFRED
PUT THE GUN DOWN!
WESKER
Damn it! That's a fancy way of saying 'Put down the gun'!
ALFRED
PUT DOWN THE GUN!
Wesker lets out a frustrated moan.
WESKER
Say it one more time and--
Wesker grabs Hunter by the neck pulling him to his chest and putting the gun to his temple.
WESKER
I'll blow his freakin' brains out!
Hunter whines and begins crying uncontrollably. Barry watches from seat, slowly nodding off.
ALFRED
GIVE ME THE GUN
Flustered, Wesker stamps his feet and throws Hunter aside, chucking the gun at Alfred, only to have it hit Alexia who once again falls to the floor, she screams. Alexander chuckles. Alfred picks the gun up and checks the chamber.
ALFRED
This is empty! I knew you were all talk.
WESKER
You expect me to bring a loaded weapon to a thearpy session? Your just beggin' for mass homicide.
Everyone nods in agreement. Except Barry who is asleep by now. Jill perks up.
JILL
Hey, where the hell is Nemesis?
Everyone becomes quiet and there is a munching sound coming from the snack table. Nemesis looks up, all the snacks are gone.
WESKER
Oh, great. He even ate my ..special.. brownies.. I was saving those...
Mr. Dough arches an eyebrow. Wesker shuts up and goes to sit down only to fall and trip over the fallen chairs' legs causing him to fall on his bottom. Everyone breaks into laughter, easing the tension.. Until he gets up and puts his chair back upright...and sits once more...Nemesis almost dances back to his chair, humming a cheery tune.
ALFRED
Why the hell is he so happy?
WESKER
I don't know! I'm sure it wasn't the brownies though....Why are you all looking at me like that??
Nemesis falls out of the chair and giggles.
MRS. DOUGH
Um, will someone help him to his chair?
Nemesis suddenly gets up and hurls himself out the window falling four stories to the streets below. Only to get up and get hit by a semi....He's gone.. Everyone, except the Ashfords who are arguing among themselves and Barry....who is still asleep, watch from the window, Hunter mourns his passing.
JILL
Well, that's the end of that. That's the highlight of my day.
Jill gleefully walks back to her seat and sits down. Wesker sits back down snickering.
MR. DOUGH
That's horrible, everyone please take your seat.
Everyone does.
Mr. Dough scratches Nemesis' name off the sign up sheet... After a long silence, Mr. Dough speaks up.
MR. DOUGH
Well, he was never here.... got it?
everyone nervously glances around.
MR. DOUGH
Anyway, who's next?
END PART 2
RESIDENT EVIL: GROUP THEARPY -- PART 2
By: FOXFIRE and ERIC DRAVEN
Sign up sheet:
Leon Kennedy
Claire Redfield
Steve (monster) Burnside
Alfred Ashford
Alexia Ashford
Alexander Ashford
Zombie
Hunter
Jill V.
Nemesis
A. Wesker
Barry Burton
Resident Therapists: Mr. Jon Dough Mrs. Jayne Dough
Today's session: Coping with our feelings
GROUP THERAPY ROOM - DAY
MR. DOUGH
I hope everybody got some cake.
Nemesis looks up from the cake
NEMESIS
(GARBLED) stars...
Mr. Dough glares at Nemesis
MRS. DOUGH
Well, if everyone would take their seats, I would like to welcome a new friend to the circle.
Barry Burton walks slowly into the room, the door suddenly slams shut. A locking device can be heard.
ALFRED
What the hell...??
BARRY
What is this?
MR. DOUGH
This is a thearpy group Barry, remember? You, uh, *just* signed up not more then an hour ago.
BARRY
What?
MRS. DOUGH
Uh, please. Just take a seat.
Mrs. Dough beckons to an open seat by Wesker
BARRY
M'Kay
Barry takes his seat, Wesker slowly scoots away from him, getting too close to Hunter who growls.
WESKER
Eee.
Barry eyes him. There is a nervous silence in the room.
WESKER
What the hell are you staring at tubby?
BARRY
Look you--
MR. DOUGH
Okay! Can I get a volenteer please? Barry since your new, would you like to go?
BARRY
What is this?
MR. DOUGH
Your just supposed to tell us how you are feeling.
BARRY
About?
MR. DOUGH
Anything.
BARRY
Well... I'm, uh, kinda hungry.
Barry reaches into his fanny pack (a purple powerpuff girls pack with gold foil trim) and pulls out a turkey sandwich... On rye.
Alfred watches. His left eye twitching.
ALEXANDER
(MUFFELED) What's that? Fooood I smell? I've missed my last three feedings. I'm quite.....ravenous...
Barry tears off a chuck and throws it at Alexanders feet. Being chained and quite unbalanced, Alexander bends down and viciously tries to get the chunk with his teeth. Alexia looks flustered.
ALEXIA
God daddy, your embrassing me! Have a little dignity!
ALEXANDER
(MUFFLED) Quiet Bitch! I'm lucky if you change me twice a week! Let alone feed me!
Alexia blushes and hides her face in her hands
ALFRED
Don't call her a bitch, Old Man!
ALEXANDER
(MUFFELED YELL) F you! Oooh, you little homo!
Leon makes kissing gestures toward Alfred, and licks his hands for some reason...
ALFRED
I am not gay!
ALEXIA
You're... not?
ALFRED
Nooo. What are you talking about?
MR. DOUGH
Ok, let's just move on
ALFRED
No wait! Do I come off as gay or something?
Alexander chews part of the chunk into a mush and spits across the room hitting Jill in the face.
JILL
You sick OLD F--
Mr. Dough interupts her.
MR. DOUGH
Please Jill, I'm sure he didn't mean it. I'm pretty sure he meant to hit another. Perhaps Zombie.
ZOMBIE
Hey!
Hunter runs over to Jill and stars licking the goo off her face.
JILL
Get him off!! Get him off!!
Wesker jumps out of him chair, tipping it over. He draws a 9mm and aims it at Hunter
WESKER
Hands off my woman!
JILL
What?
WESKER
That's right. Don't you remember our night of passion?
JILL
What?? Eww! I'd never touch you!
Alfred jumps up, accidently knocking Alexia over. She falls over on the floor.
Alfred takes out his 30.06 bolt action Remington with a magnifying scope.
ALFRED
Put down the gun!
WESKER
What? Where the hell were you hiding that?!
ALFRED
That's not important. Now PUT DOWN THE GUN.
Wesker
No!
Hunter has stopped licking Jill and is watching with fear. Steve grabs Claire as if to protect her and she shoves him away.
STEVE
I'm just trying to protect you!
CLAIRE
What? Those guns are probably not even loaded.
A shot rings out, hitting Zombie.
ALFRED
Sorry, my fault.
ZOMBIE
Aw crap, you know I can only take so many bullets.. you know.
Leon reaches out as if to comfort him.
ZOMBIE
Back off fruity. I don't play butt-darts
ALFRED
Now, PUT DOWN THE GUN.
WESKER
I'm NOT putting the gun down!
ALFRED
PUT DOWN THE GUN!
WESKER
I'm AIN'T puttin' down the gun!
ALFRED
PUT DOWN THE GUN!
WESKER
Stop saying that!!
ALFRED
PUT THE GUN DOWN!
WESKER
Damn it! That's a fancy way of saying 'Put down the gun'!
ALFRED
PUT DOWN THE GUN!
Wesker lets out a frustrated moan.
WESKER
Say it one more time and--
Wesker grabs Hunter by the neck pulling him to his chest and putting the gun to his temple.
WESKER
I'll blow his freakin' brains out!
Hunter whines and begins crying uncontrollably. Barry watches from seat, slowly nodding off.
ALFRED
GIVE ME THE GUN
Flustered, Wesker stamps his feet and throws Hunter aside, chucking the gun at Alfred, only to have it hit Alexia who once again falls to the floor, she screams. Alexander chuckles. Alfred picks the gun up and checks the chamber.
ALFRED
This is empty! I knew you were all talk.
WESKER
You expect me to bring a loaded weapon to a thearpy session? Your just beggin' for mass homicide.
Everyone nods in agreement. Except Barry who is asleep by now. Jill perks up.
JILL
Hey, where the hell is Nemesis?
Everyone becomes quiet and there is a munching sound coming from the snack table. Nemesis looks up, all the snacks are gone.
WESKER
Oh, great. He even ate my ..special.. brownies.. I was saving those...
Mr. Dough arches an eyebrow. Wesker shuts up and goes to sit down only to fall and trip over the fallen chairs' legs causing him to fall on his bottom. Everyone breaks into laughter, easing the tension.. Until he gets up and puts his chair back upright...and sits once more...Nemesis almost dances back to his chair, humming a cheery tune.
ALFRED
Why the hell is he so happy?
WESKER
I don't know! I'm sure it wasn't the brownies though....Why are you all looking at me like that??
Nemesis falls out of the chair and giggles.
MRS. DOUGH
Um, will someone help him to his chair?
Nemesis suddenly gets up and hurls himself out the window falling four stories to the streets below. Only to get up and get hit by a semi....He's gone.. Everyone, except the Ashfords who are arguing among themselves and Barry....who is still asleep, watch from the window, Hunter mourns his passing.
JILL
Well, that's the end of that. That's the highlight of my day.
Jill gleefully walks back to her seat and sits down. Wesker sits back down snickering.
MR. DOUGH
That's horrible, everyone please take your seat.
Everyone does.
Mr. Dough scratches Nemesis' name off the sign up sheet... After a long silence, Mr. Dough speaks up.
MR. DOUGH
Well, he was never here.... got it?
everyone nervously glances around.
MR. DOUGH
Anyway, who's next?
END PART 2