A/N gais, I juiced went 2 church hand they gave me free bred so im writingk dis fic as a tank you.
"aaaaaayyy phoenix how u doin" sys jesus whyle playing him mandeline. "naht muche juice solvingk a murd..." sys foenix bu jebus was gone.
"hey apolo wut you doin?" sys jesus aftar he telaported 2 him. "jus invostigating dis crime scone" says apollo. "I AM THE DETECTIVES HERE!" and jesus eats the scone. "Dat wuz de evidonkey u palestinian!" scrim apolo.
"oh, soree. ill help u den" hand dey colect de evidonce 4 court.
DE NOXT DAY
"all rise 4 de trial of missile de doge" sys udgey "is de proosecution rdy?". "yes" says satin. "wuw satin never seen u in chort" sys apolo. "yeh, i porsecuted jesus there once" sys satin. jesus nods.
"Its vory simples, missile kill my boi judas WIT DIS KNIFEE!" hand satin presents knife. "OBJETSION! DOGS DONT HAV THUMBS U IDIOT" scrims apollo. "oh man u gut me WAIT NOP! MISSILE HELD DE KNIFE IN HIS MOUTHE!" grins satin.
"pah, wat if der is a more betterer reason? i think he SUIDIDED!" sys apollo. de jury were liek kids b4 russian cristmas. "hmm, u gut evidonce apollo" sys satin. "Yeah, he wus drunk. i gut dis crime scooo.." apolu wuz gona presont the scone dat had alcohly in eet but jesus hate it!
"uh, um. recess plox udgey?" apollo runs outta da court. "JESUS WAT WE GONNA DO? U ATE DE EVIDONCE". "easy, phoenix taught me dis trick wen he defenced me. forge. we juice need drunky stuff rite?". "UR JENIUS JESUS" and dey went bak into court.
"lets destroct dem den u get de alcohol going jesus" sys apollo. apollo starts singing and jebus turns water battel in2 wine battel. "wow dat wuz sum cool singing, lets git bac 22 de case" sys udgey "oh! wats dat jesus?". "Its de evidonce to seal dis case!" sys jesus.
Udgey has like half a drop "hmm... its strongk enough" hand he flals over. "OBJECTIONE U JUICED MIRACLED DAT UP" scrims satin. but udgey wuz so drunk dat he declored missile inoscent.
"hey jesus, how com u didnt drunk after eating dat scone?" sys apollo. "kek apollo, my blood is wine" sys jesus. "oh yeah".