Stupid Drood. Stupid everyone. Take a step back: Who is the one who knows everything? Not that blasted Datchery figure. Not even what's-her-name. Puffer, was it? Really. No, not one of any of them suspected anything to do with Durdles. That's right. I know everything.
Back when Jasper was being such a big creep 'in the name of love', and Rosa was trying to act like she wasn't totally into it (until Neville showed up, at least), I was there. Problem is, you pass out drunk often enough and people stop noticing you altogether. Ever had that feeling? Where maybe you're just vanishing away because you're not important enough to exist? Well, I certainly have. It is most definitely not a good feeling. Therefore, I'd like to propose a toast to my own existence. Hell, I keep on drinking like I do and it's sure to be a short one. Remember me when I'm gone, why don't you, for old time's sake? Remember, I was always there. I knew what was going on, always.
-Durdles
You can all rot in hell for all I care. No one tells me anything nowadays. No one cares about me at all unless they think I'm some sort of murderer or child molester. Really, the reputation reverends have these days! It's insulting! Notably, I did take in two mysterious children/teens (how old are they anyway?), but that was out of the goodness of my heart. True, I have that odd obsession with Rosa's nameless, sainted mother, but hey, who doesn't? Well, I certainly think I'm important enough to consider a noteworthy character.
-The Reverend
Don't I get a say? (No.)
-Deputy