Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Transformer Lyrics by Gnarls Barkley St. Elsewhere

Go to Youtube and watch this video. It's a slow soulful song I thought appropriate for Iruka in this situation.

There will be couples, but not in the traditional way. There's enough yaoi out there so I thought I'd try to some different things with male relationships in this fic.

Summary: Kakashi is handling his suicidal thoughts. Kurenai and Asuma's relationship is on the rocks. Iruka is being evaluated for a promotion, while Sakura is trying to handles Naruto's puberty.

The sky emptied itself onto Konoha. There are on Training ground eight, through curtain of water, four elite jounin and one chuunin stood facing off. Iruka would have back off. Yet, to everyone's surprise, including his own, he managed to land three combos into Kakashi before they broke through his apartment window haphazardly into the street. Kakashi glared at him sharingan blazing.

"You surprised me," he said sounding as if he was a student in his class asking a question. Killing the teacher was not his objective. In an instant he disappeared from Iruka's vision. Kurenai was on his trail. Asuma and Ibiki were there checking his condition.

"You alright?" Asuma said. His forehead protector was gone. His dark hair poured over his forehead making him look much younger. Iruka wondered why he was thinking about Asuma's rain bangs. Ibiki hoisted him to his feet.

"We should go after him," Iruka said shouting over the rain pounding the world.

"Kurenai is on him," Asuma said glaring off into the downpour like he could see them. They moved in stealth. Ibiki proved himself the elite tracker. Tracking elite jounin in the rain was not easy. Kurenai was careful to leave a trail.

"Good girl," Asuma muttered as they found the two facing off on the sludgy field that was Training ground eight.

Now, Iruka wondered, what was going to happen.

"Kakashi," Iruka said. "Please, let us help you." Kakashi didn't respond. He just glared. Asuma could've sworn that tears were pouring down his face, but that was unlikely. Ibiki noted Kakashi's stance.

"He's not backing down, Iruka."

"I don't want your help," Kakashi said in a very non hostile tone.

"Well, yes, I can see that," Iruka quipped. He said it without thinking. All of the jounin were glaring at him them. Yet, he happy that he got a response from Kakashi he continued. Iruka took a step forward.

"We are comrades. We're going to help you regardless of whether you want it or not." Appealing to Kakashi's sense of comradery might work. Kurenai was impressed. She had only been trying to think of a genjutsu high enough in level to trick the Sharingan. Kakashi continued to glare at Iruka, but pointed the kunai into his chest.

"I'm not hurting anyone. It's none of your business."

"Bullshit," barked Asuma. In a rare show of emotion, he ran and clutched Kakashi by the shoulders. "You're hurting self, man. Fuck yeah it's our business."

Kurenai stood relieved. If Kakashi was going to battle them, he wouldn't let Asuma get in close range. Ibiki didn't think it was a good idea for Asuma to angry, but apparently Iruka had broken Kakashi's will. Interesting. Kakashi was stiff in Asuma's grip. His shoulder's slumped and he would've fell had Asuma not held him on his feet.

Iruka and Ibiki ran to support him.

"I'll tell the Hokage," Kurenai said vanishing into the raindrops.

Tsunade stared into the gray sky. Today had begun to early. It was turning out to be a bad day. Jiraiya was doing a kata in the rain when abruptly he stopped and began to walk toward her.

"Why'd you stop," Tsunade said not really caring. She did enjoy watching the water roll off of Jiraiya's muscled torso. However, she wouldn't bring herself to tell him that. Jiraiya's expression was serious.

"They stopped Kakashi. Kurenai is coming," he said pulling his kimono around his body. Tsunade studied him for a moment. He was so keen on women's chakra. On cue, Kurenai appeared through the raindrops.

"We have him in custody. A few bruises, but we're all fine." Tsunade was glad to hear that. They were all important ninjas to Konoha. Iruka was the best teacher she had. She had him to thank for the Rookie 9. They were proving to be most useful in pinches.

"How's Iruka?"

"Hokage-sama, she said they were all fine." Jiraiya was facing away from them. He seemed irritated. "Where are you holding Kakashi?"

"Most likely at Asuma's. It was the closest place to the training ground." Tsunade nodded in approval. That meant that not many civilians could've seen the scuffle if any. Konoha was waking up.

Kurenai studied Jaraiya's back. The damp muscles seemed to ripple with his breathing. Was he angry?

"Thank you Kurenai," Tsunade said. The younger woman disappeared again. Tsunade turned and gave Jiraiya a glance. She didn't have to say anything. She reached up from where she was sitting and stroked his bicep.

"Hey," she said in a tone she hadn't used in decades. "Easy. You're too big to have so much rage." Jiraiya snorted. Tsunade stood behind him and began to massage his shoulders therapeutically. Her strong hand kneading into his flesh caused involuntary moaning and gasping that could've seemed obscene.

"Damn. Stop it before…ah…"Jiraiya couldn't finish. She had found a knot and was working with her thumbs. Jiraiya growled. He didn't like being toyed with.

"Listen, we both know I don't like being teased. If you want to reduce my frustration….ah…uh" Jiraiya was on his knees. He didn't bother resisting her strength. His back was to her, while she stood behind him kneading his muscles. He couldn't believe she was doing this now.

"You need this, you're not twenty anymore you know. What's the big deal, anyway? It's just a massage?" Jiraiya reached back and clutch both wrists. He looked up at her through wet hair plastered to his face.

"You know what your hands to do me. So, unless you intend to jack me off, you need to keep your pretty little mitts to your self." As the Hokage, Jiraiya would've never made a comment like that to Tsunade. But, as her contemporary, ex-teammate, and on again off again lover, he felt he could say anything. Tsunade appreciated his candidacy. It reminded her that she was still a woman with desires and flaws. He made her feel normal, human even. That human part of her didn't want to be revered all the time. When she was being a bitch, Jiraiya will put her in her place.

"I intend to do more than jack you off, Jiji," she said with her trademark smirk. Jiraiya swallowed. He rose to his feet.

"You know I'm not a bottle of aspirin you pop open whenever you get a headache." He shrugged her hands off. Tsunade didn't know how to take that statement. She didn't know she made him feel that way.

"Of course you're not. Is that how I treat you?"

Jiraiya sighed.

"Let's talk later. Kakashi needs us." Tsunade nodded. She held his arm casually as he transported them to Asuma's flat.

Iruka had yet to understand exactly what happened.

The rain was making him sad. He normally would sing during times like this but he didn't know appropriate it would be. He noticed an acoustic guitar the corner. Kakashi had been laying in the fetal position for hours. Asuma and Ibiki were smoking in the farthest corner of the room. Iruka went and picked up the guitar, strumming it while he took his again next to the window. The chords seemed appropriate for the rain.

"You play Iruka?" Asuma said not really questioning. "You're really full of surprises today." Iruka shrugged and smiled at the pair. He cleared his throat and began to sing.

I, I, I, I,
I transform
I transform
I transform
I'm a transformer


I, I, I, I
I transform
I transform
I transform
I'm a transformer


I'm just being myself
Plus I gotta be me too
Silly of me to think that
I couldn't bring myself to be you
Ah but behold there is benevolence
Behind this but don't stare though

Be careful 'cause I'll kill you
With kindness
That's why I'm dressed quite neatly
'Cause it's easy and discreetly they seek me
And when they reach me and see me they
Believe me completely
I'm a real live wire I ain't lying
If it's between me and you I ain't dying
I can transform, I can transform,
I can transform
Without even trying

I, I, I, I
I transform
I transform
I transform

I'm a transformer


I, I, I, I
Know how to transform
I transform
I transform
I'm a transformer

Now I'm someone else
Now someone can be me too
Behold the beautiful and bold everyday I
Wake up to be new
Oh but it's simple but they still
Can't understand why
I think I can, I think I can,
I think I can

oh can I?
I'm a microchip off the old block
You know it not but I was a robot

Something that you won't see again
What the hell might as well be my friend
I can transform, I can transform,
no telling who I'll have to
Be again.

I, I, I, I

Know how to transform
I transform
I transform
I'm a transformer


I, I, I, I
Know how to transform
I transform
I'll transform
I'm a transformer

Iruka finished the last few chords. He received applause from his jounin counterparts. They heard a rustle of blankets. Kakashi had sat up staring at him. He still had his mask on. He didn't want to ask if he was smiling. Iruka simply couldn't tell.

"Sing something else," he said and rolled over and curled up again. Iruka cast a glance at Asuma and Ibiki. That both shrugged. As he began strum the guitar again, the two thirds of the Legendary Sannin were standing before him.

Jiraiya walked over to Kakashi, who in turn, curled up even tighter and pulled the blanket over his head. Tsunade watched the exchange of the men. In a way, Jiraiya was like a father to Kakashi. It pained him to see him like this. Trying to destroy himself. It seemed very wrong to Jiraiya. He wanted to do anything to make it okay.

Tsunade looked at Iruka.

"I want to know what happened, every detail from beginning to end. In my office, ten minutes."

With that she disappeared. Jiraiya just stared at Kakashi trying to pretend that he was invisible because he was underneath a comforter. Jiraiya knew Kakashi. If he let him stay that way, he'd do a kawarimi jutsu and escape. In one motion, comforter was torn in half. Kakashi was in the middle of a hand seal when Jiraiya snatched him from the futon. The three men marveled at how Jiraiya managed to lift Kakashi by with one hand by the hip.

"You're not helping," Iruka said sitting the guitar down calmly.

"You don't know him," Jiraiya said disappearing with Kakashi in hand.

Ibiki and Asuma put out their cigarettes.
"We should go to Tsunade's office." The encircled him, and within seconds they were at the Tower. Iruka stood trying to figure out why Jiraiya's words caused an ache in his chest.

The rating is M for a reason. Stay tuned. Naruto and Sakura's segments should be fun.