Blackstairs Fanfiction. A week after the end of LM.
Julian ran to his studio ignoring the rush of jealousy and hurt, locking it behind him. His knees gave in beneath him and he quickly slumped to the floor with his back against the wooden door. All around him were his public paintings that Tavvy would spend hours looking at. It reminded him of the unshared paintings behind the locked black door. Only Emma knew what lied behind that door. Emma. Just the name unravelled the tears he'd been holding back.
It had been a week since she told him she didn't love him enough. He had begged her, telling her ways they could be together. He knew she was lying when she was in front of her. But now, he wasn't so sure.
Only the next day had Emma come into the kitchen at breakfast explaining the damage that Malcom had caused to Mark. Though, her fingers were intertwined with Mark's. Once she had quickly finished explaining what needed attention to the matter, Mark placed a quick kiss on her lips and they both sat down on the two available kitchen chairs. It had taken all of Julian's internal strength, not to fall on knees and beg Emma to love him.
The whole time he eyed her, trying to figure out her emotions. Is she really with Mark? Are they together? A few times, Julian had almost broke his plate while buttering his toast with his butter knife. He had slammed his knife into the plate so hard, it sounded like a bullet being fired in the kitchen. Everyone had looked at him all those times, except Emma. It felt as if the bullet had gone through him all those times.
Once he had finished his toast, he nearly threw his plate in the sink and excused himself, asking the twins to wash up. He had done the same thing as he had done now, the only difference is that the first time, Emma had ran out of the kitchen and yelled after him. He had stopped in his tracks almost tripping himself in the process.
Without turning around, Julian tried hiding his emotions from his voice and put all the distance he could into his words. "Why aren't you in the kitchen with your boyfriend?" He remembered her withdrawn breath and felt her upper arm brush past as she ran down the hall, presumably to her bedroom. At that, he presumed in his journey to his studio.
It had been for what seemed an hour before a knock on the door broke Julian from his miserable mind. Julian stood, and tried to smooth down his white T-shirt. He unlocked the door and found Livvy in her night clothes looking tired against the door frame.
"What is it, Livvy?" Julian said trying to sound as normal as he could.
"Tavvy wants you to tuck him in." Livvy cocked her head to the other as if she were trying to figure something out. Concern washed over her face, as her eyebrows furrowed together. "Is everything alright, Jules?" Her arm came out, as if to touch his arm.
He waved off her hand, stepping out into the hallway before closing the studio door. "Everything's fine. Now go to sleep." He placed a kiss on her head before walking down the hallway to Tavvy's room. He opened the door finding Tavvy in his bed. He walked over to his bed and sat beside him. He remembered the small Tavvy, the one in his arms, the little boy who watched his brother murdering the one father he had. But now, he had another one. Jules. He leaned over and kissed the tiny boy on the head.
"Goodnight, Tavvy." He got up from the bed and made his way to the door.
"Are Emma and Mark going to get married?" Just as Julian put a hand to the door, he froze. His whole body seemed to freeze by the question just asked.
Julian must have not answered, because Tavvy stared up at his older brother with his wondering Blackthorn eyes. "Jules, are you okay?"
Julian opened the door and moved into the hallway. "Goodnight." At that, he closed the door and started proceeding to his bedroom.
Once inside, he changed his clothes for the night. He was about to turn off his light when he noticed his sea-glass bracelet on his nightstand. He watched as the moonlight reflected on the bracelet and hit parts of his room. He had taken it off a few days ago, not being able to wear the present Emma had given him.
He moved across the room, and sat by his bed. He took the bracelet and placed it back on his hand, realizing that he wouldn't want to part with it again. He was about to turn off the light when a knock came from the door.
Julian pushed away the hair that into his eyes as he stared at the door. "Who is it?"
The person on the other side didn't respond straight away. Julian heard a sigh before the person spoke. "Jules-Julian, it's me." He knew straight way, who it was.
Julian sat on his bed, folding his legs under him. He hadn't spoken to her since the incident in the hallway. Biting his bottom lip, he finally answered. "What do you want?" Why had she come here? She had already broken him, did she want to break him beyond self-repair?
He heard her shift behind the door as if she were in an uncomfortable position. "I-I wanted to talk to you about us." She said to the door. It was Julian who shifted, this time. "About our friendship." She finished. The flicker of hope that started inside him went out like a weak flame. "Can I come in? Please?" She asked.
"It's late, you should go to sleep, Emma." He got up from his bed and went to the door trying to get as close to her without hurting himself in the process. He placed his forehead unto the door. "I'm sorry. Goodnight Emma." He turned off the light but kept on staring at the door.
More noises came from the door before he got a "Goodnight" in return. With a great sigh, he turned and went to his bed.
What have we done? I've lost her.
He turned to his side and stared into one of the windows next to his bed. The moon was high in the sky and unwavering. The stars that surrounded it, were blinking.
She's losing me.
Her feet dragged her back to her bedroom. Her chest felt heavy and her heart felt like she thrown it onto the road, watching, as cars ran over it again and again and again. She dressed herself and went under her comforting blankets.
But they weren't comforting. They reminded her of the endless nights with Julian under them, her nightmares he would always try to calm. She remembered his beautiful hands clasped in hers as they slept. She remembered his touch all over her. The way they knotted in her hair. The way a single touch from him could set off every nerve in her body. The way they fell on her waist. The way they were together on the beach under the accusing stars. She wanted him. She needed him. She loved him.
Jules. She's losing him.
Emma got out of bed and made her way to another's bedroom. She knocked on the door and went inside without the other person answering. She closed and locked the door before walking in the room.
She searched the room before her eyes fell on him. He was wearing flannel grey striped trousers with no aged T-shirt to cover his lightly tanned and muscled stomach. "Distract me." She ordered. In one single stride, he reached her and grabbed her by the wrist. He whirled her around until she was facing him and dragged Emma into his arms.
His lips were like a ghost hovering above her lips. "Are you sure?" he breathed mint and clove onto her face. She nodded and filled the space in between them. Kissing Mark wasn't like kissing Julian. Where Mark was all mint and clove, Julian was all sweet sugar and paint. Kissing Mark sent shivers up her spine but kissing Julian sent painful sparks all around her body. She wished he was in front of her, taking her breath away, not Mark. She sighed in his mouth and led him to his bed. He grabbed her inner thighs and lifted her on his hips. She straddled him as he landed on the bed, lowering Emma down until her back met the blankets. He reached up and pulled Emma's shirt off and started planting kisses down her collarbone. She gasped and grabbed his blond curls, pulling harder as he lowered his lips lower. The ghost of Julian's lips and hands kept touching her, the way he did on the beach. She needed to concentrate on Mark not Julian.
Forget him. I can't.
Julian woke up from a dreamless night. He checked his phone for the time and got out of bed. He dressed himself in a black T-shirt and black jeans before leaving his room. He walked down the hall and down the stairs, directing himself to the kitchen. Just as he turned into the correct hallway, Mark's bedroom door opened. Julian mumbled a good morning without looking into the doorway.
"Morning, Jules." Julian stopped walking as his heart started beating furiously. He turned his head, his jaw nearly dropping. Emma stood in Mark's doorway, wearing one of his tops. Julian tried to stay calm, but his eyes betrayed him. It was as if a truck came and ran him over, then dumping garbage over him. Emma looked at him with brown sad eyes just before Mark came and stood next to her. "Morning." He guided Emma down to the kitchen. With one last sad glance and Julian, she let Mark take her away. What had just happened? Emma just- he needed to get out of here. He quickly ran to the kitchen, finding everyone there, even Kit.
Without looking at Emma, he went into the kitchen. "Everyone needs to make their own breakfast, sorry Kit. No pancakes today." With everyone's nods, Julian ran to the nearest bathroom. Before he could reach the toilet bowl, all the contents from dinner spilled out onto the bathroom floor. He made his way to the toilet bowl and knelt down, where he expelled the rest of his dinner. He wished he could vomit out all his feelings for Emma too. Her face flashed under his eyelids; it made vomit more.
Once he finished, he was too weak and collapsed on the side of the toilet bowl.
Once Julian left, Emma ordered everyone to do something. The twins were assigned to do the dishes once breakfast was done, Dru had to look after Tavvy. Cristina offered to make pancakes for everyone, everyone accepted. Mark shyly asked Cristina if he could help her, which she accepted with amusement. Diego had to clean the table after. She left the kitchen and started looking for Julian. Julian. Oh, I hope you're okay Jules.
"Jules, where are you. Julian?" She shouted across the hallway. A disgusting stench came from one of the bedrooms close by. Emma covered her nose and walked in.
The smell was coming from the bathroom. The door was open and she walked in. First, she saw the vomit on the floor and then saw Julian unconscious, his head on the edge of the toilet bowl.
"JULIAN!" A scream left her lips. She slid across to him and shook his shoulders. "JULIAN PLEASE!" She wept, her head on his shoulders. His hair was matted with vomit. She put ear against his chest, checking for his beating heart. It was there, though it was weak. "CRISTINA, MARK!" Noises came from outside the bedroom before Cristina and Mark turned up at the door. Cristina cursed silently, her hand absently going to the medallion around her neck while Mark ran to Emma's side lifting Julian from the toilet.
Emma was still crying by the time they heaved Julian on the bed. Cristina grabbed the stele from her belt and quickly drew an iratze at the back of his neck. Some of the colour came back to his as Cristina kept adding runes to his neck. Mark's face was pale when he spoke. "We need to get him to his bed. After that we need Diana to contact the Silent Brothers." He sounded defeated, tired. Both Emma and Cristina nodded before Emma left to get their tutor.
She found her in the office she was assigned when she first arrived at the Los Angeles Institute. She knocked on the door, seizing Diana's attention. "We need you to contact the Silent Brothers, we need them right away." She gasped, trying to catch her breath.
Diana got up from behind her desk, taking off her glasses. She walked over to Emma by the door. "What for? Is something wrong?" She put her hand on Emma's shoulder.
Emma took a deep breath before answering. "It's Julian. He's sick." A single tear fell from eyes as she talked. "He's unconscious. We found him on one of the bathroom floors, his head against the toilet bowl. Th-there was vomit all around him." This seemed to unlock all the tears she tried to hide from her tutor. Diana wrapped her arms around Emma as she cried like her heart was shattering inside her.
She let go of Emma and stared at those impossibly sad brown eyes. "I'll contact them now. Go Emma, go to Julian." She nodded and left.
Was this all her fault?