It was a Friday night. They had just closed, what had been a difficult case, so they decided to go
to the Old Haunt for drinks to celebrate. Everyone was
there, Espo, Lanie, Ryan, Beckett, and even Castle-which actually surprised Kate. Lately, he was
distancing himself from them...from her. He didn't bring her
coffee anymore, his wild theories had subsided a bit, their playful banter had stopped; but what
really got to her was that smile he used to reserve just for
her, she hadn't seen it in weeks and she missed it...She missed him. She didn't know why, things
seemed to be going good, they were getting closer, they
were moving forward with their relationship, her wall was just about broken into pieces, when he
suddenly stopped acting like himself-he was pulling away
and she didn't know why. What had she done for him to act like this? She thought she was doing
better, trying harder to let him in, she thought he
understood that, but she guessed that she was wrong.
The team was sitting at their usual 6 seater booth at the Old Haunt, it was near the corner of the
bar, a bit secluded so they had a bit of privacy, especially
when discussing cases. Espo was sitting on one side closest to the wall with Lanie right beside him
and Kate beside her. Ryan was directly across from Espo
and Castle was sitting beside him. This wasn't their usual seating, normally Castle and Beckett
would sit beside each other, but not this time. They already
had their drinks with them, all while discussing their week. Kate was quiet though, deep in her
own thoughts about Castle, when a high-pitched, annoying
voice interrupted her thoughts. She was startled and looked up to see Jacinda, the blonde bimbo,
who's been following Castle around like a lost puppy. What
the hell was she doing here?! This was supposed to be a celebration just for the team. She then
heard Castle's voice, "You guys probably remember Jacinda,
and I hope you don't mind but I invited her so she could celebrate with us." They didn't look very
pleased with Castle's new arm candy being here, but
nonetheless, they nodded in agreement, being polite, as Castle stood up to allow Jacinda to slide
into the booth taking his place, as he sat on the edge,
directly across from Kate. It started out a bit awkward at first, but they continued making small
talk. Kate looked up towards Castle and saw his arm around
Jacinda, whispering and giggling to each other - it made her sick. How could he do this to her? He
said he would wait! She knew he had waited 4 years,
and that no other guy would do this, but he was supposed to wait, he always waited for her so
they could finally give them a chance. But what if she waited
too long? What if it was too late and he moved on. Oh god, this could not be happening now, she
couldn't deal with the thought of life without him. She
could feel the tears building up, threatening to escape her eyes. She wouldn't let them...him, see
her this way. She was the badass detective who hunted
murderers for a living, she was not about to let some guy strip her of that. Some guy? Who was
she kidding, he wasn't just some guy, he was Castle...her
Castle, and she loved him. But she couldn't be here now and watch him flirt and be all cuddly with
someone who wasn't her, so she decided to leave.
She quickly began to gather her things and stood up.
"And where are you going?" Lanie asked. She looked to her friends with sadness evident her face
and said "I'm sorry guys; I'm not feeling very well, so I
think I'll just head home and get some sleep." Lanie slid over in the booth and leaned towards
Kate, "Girl, what's wrong? Are you sure you're okay?" Kate
nodded, "yeah I'm fine, I just need some rest. I'll call you later." Lanie nodded, not really believing
her, but she knew that Kate Beckett was a type that
needed her space, so she didn't push. Kate gave a slight smile and looked to each of them to
acknowledge a goodbye, and then glanced at Castle.
Her eyes locked with his and she noticed he was staring right at her. For a second she thought she
saw the old Castle, as she noticed the worry and concern
in his eyes, but just as quickly, the look in his eyes faded and was replaced with coldness. She
looked at him for a second longer then turned and walked
towards the exit, not looking back.
Castle was busy whispering to Jacinda and laughing, even he had to admit her voice was a bit
annoying. But his attention was soon lost from Jacinda when
he noticed Kate get up and tell everyone she was leaving. He knew she was lying about not feeling
well, but decided not to care. He no longer cared about
her...oh, he couldn't even believe that. Of course he cared about her, always did, always will. The
front he put up faded right away when he saw her. She
looked at him and he saw a look in her eyes which he hadn't seen for about 3 years, when he first
told her about opening up her mother's case again. He saw
sadness, despair, hurt, betrayal, anger, and something that he hoped he would never see
again...she looked vulnerable. At first he was full of concern, but
then he realized that she mirrored an expression he had since he heard her say that she
remembered in interrogation. His face immediately returned to
coldness, but he was still concerned, how could he not be? He still loved that women, not matter
how maddening, challenging, or frustrating she could be
sometimes. He looked up at her again, but ended up staring at the back of her while she was
walking away. God, he was still so mad and hurt by her, but it
was impossible for him not to care. He couldn't let her just leave when something could be wrong
and he wouldn't even know. He hadn't spoken to her
properly in weeks, so he didn't know if something happened which seriously affected her. Without
a second thought, he quickly excused himself and started
after her.
"Beckett, wait!" he called her name as she was pushing the door open. She didn't stop though,
just kept walking. He began to jog after her, pushing the door
open quickly, looking around for her as he exited the bar. He spotted her a few feet away, still
walking, so he continued after her. "Kate!" He called, as he
grabbed her wrist so she'd turn to him. The moment he looked at her, his heart broke. There we
tears streaming down her face, he's never seen her like that
before, she looked so hurt, but nonetheless, beautiful. He quickly pulled her to the side so they
weren't in the way of people walking, and they were a bit
more secluded. Before he could say anything, she began talking "It's fine Castle, I'm fine. I'm
sorry for ruining the mood; go enjoy the rest of your night."
She tried to turn away, but he still had a firm grasp on her wrist. "The hell it's fine!" He said, with
a slight bit of anger, but more worry in his tone. "What's
wrong?" She looked down, "it's nothing Castle, just-" she was interrupted by Castle saying her
name. "Please Kate; just tell me what's wrong." She heard the
concern in his voice, so she decided to just tell him, and she did,
"What's wrong? ...what's wrong is that I had to sit there, watching you flirt with that blonde bimbo
of yours without a care in the world." He opened his
mouth, about to reply when she spoke again, hurt clearly evident in her voice.
"Why, Castle?"
"what are you-"
"Why are you pulling away? I thought we were getting better, but you've just been pulling away
lately and I don't know why! I thought you'd wait for me!"
She was shocked she'd said that, but it had to be done, she needed to know why he was acting
like that.
He was just as shocked though...how could she possibly be mad at me? This was her fault!
"I...you...you're mad at me?! I should be mad at you!" He said anger in his voice.
"Me? What did I do?"
"Exactly! It's what you didn't do!"
"What-"
"You lied. You said you didn't remember!" He yelled.
She was confused at first, until it dawned on her. Realization came across her face. He knew...
"Wha...how did you know?"
"I heard you...in interrogation, during the bombing case."
Oh god, what has she done. He wasn't supposed to hear that, he wasn't supposed to find out like
that!
"Castle, listen. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry! It's not what you-"
"You're sorry?! You lied to me for almost a year now! If you didn't feel the same way, you should
have just told me instead of playing with my heart!" His
voice cracked at the last part.
She was completely broken now. Seeing all the pain and anger in him, which she caused. Oh god,
this was the last thing she wanted, she never ever wanted
to hurt him. Kate was about to respond when Castle spoke again.
"You said there was a wall. That you couldn't have the relationship you wanted to yet. And due to
my stupidity, I thought you were talking about me, that I
was the person you wanted to let in, but I guess I was wrong."
She just stood there, stunned. He thought that she wasn't talking about him, when this has always
been about him! She finally looked up to see the tears
pooled in his eyes, mirroring her own face. She couldn't let him think this anymore, he needed to
know the truth, he deserved it...he deserved everything.
"God Castle...it was you! You're the only one to come up to this wall and not give up. You broke it
down, piece by piece, and that's why I was so scared. But,
it's you; it's always been you Castle."
Castle was shocked, was she being serious?
"Wha...me...you...but...you lied! You said you didn't remember."
"I know Castle, but I was scared. My captain died, I was shot, I was still dating Josh and I didn't
even know if you truly meant it or you said it because you
thought I was going to die! I mean, you never said it again, so I thought you didn't mean it."
How could she think that? Of course he loved her, everyone knew it.
"I didn't say it again because I thought you would run away. But even though I didn't say it, I tried
showing you by bringing you coffees, waiting for you,
being there, by everything I did! Couldn't you see that?"
"I did Castle...I do! I was just afraid if getting hurt, but I shouldn't have been, because I know
you, you would never hurt me, you wouldn't hurt anyone. I'm
so sorry Castle, I should've told you, I'm so sorry." By this time, tears were streaming down her
face and she didn't even bother to hide them. But he didn't
look at her, he couldn't.
"Rick..." No response.
"Rick, look at me." She said
He slowly lifted his head and their eyes locked.
She was no longer afraid once her forest green met his sea blue eyes. She loved this man, more
than anything, and it was time that he knew. He waited too
long...they waited too long for this. Finally, after years of holding it in, she would tell him.
"Rick, I love you. I love you so much. I am crazily, stupidly, madly in love with you. I have been
for a while now."
There was silence. They just looked at each other. Everything was out there, everything that
should have been said years ago, was finally admitted. Rick
didn't say anything; he was quiet the whole time.
Kate was relieved and so so so happy that she finally said it. But as the silenced continued, she
was getting nervous. Why wasn't he saying anything, doing
anything? Maybe he really didn't love her, maybe he finally got over her. Oh, god, she waited too
long, she messed it all up... Her thoughts were interrupted
by a warm, soft, loving, mesmerizing feel on her lips...it was his lips. When she finally realized
what was happening, she reacted back. It was a slow, soft
kiss, they were pouring out all their feelings for each other, all the want that built up over 4 years.
Her arms wrapped around his neck, fingers threaded
through the hair at the back of his head. His hands cupped her face gently. As they finally
released, he gave her one last peck and pulled away slightly,
resting his forehead on hers. His hands slid down a little, more on her neck now as his thumbs
slowly caressed her cheeks. They were silent for a moment,
until he looked into her eyes filled with love and adoration, and said, "I love you too Kate. Always."
And gave her that smile, she was longing for.
She returned the smile, the one she reserved only for him and replied, "Always."
Please Review! First fanfic, so any advice would be helpful! Oh, sorry about the spacing of the paragraphs, I know they are very long and difficult to read, but when I tried editing it, it wouldn't save. If you have any suggestions on how to fix this, it would be greatly appreciated!
Hope you guys liked it :)