Disclaimer: I am not even worthy of the ground the wonderful producers of NCIS walk on.
A/N I'm hoping this can go quite far. It starts where "Nine Lives" ends. Please review, it gives me the incentive to update more and quicker! Thanks
Chapter One
It had been harder than he first thought. At first, he thought he'd be able to ignore it, this feeling that had pent up inside of him. When he'd returned from his stint on that ship he'd been a changed man; he'd had time to think about everything that could have mattered to him but now he was back in his reality he couldn't help but think it was all too little, too late. He wasn't the only one who had changed. She had become shrouded in secrecy, like the woman she was when she first arrived. She had rebuilt those barriers he'd spent so long to bring down, not to mention his suspicions there was now another man in the picture, quite literally-he'd seen the photo on her desk.
He never asked her about it though, he knew better than to just ask her about it, he knew she wouldn't tell him, not now. Before they were split up, he didn't doubt that she would tell him anything, he knew he would and he would tell her everything, if she asked.
After a long day, Ziva bid him a short goodbye before heading to the elevator. She was going to Tel Aviv for a vacation and he wanted nothing more to take her in his arms and tell her not to go. He wished her 'take care' in Hebrew. He'd been practicing in attempt to get closer to her again, and she seemed a little shocked at his gesture. A small smile pulled at the corners of her lips and that was enough for him.
Not long after she'd gone, he gathered his own belongings and headed down to his car. He didn't feel like going home though so he headed to the nearest bar. He'd hoped it to be a quiet place where he'd be able to dissolve into a pool of self pity but when he parked up and got out of the car he could already hear the music filtering through the walls into the street. He decided he couldn't be bothered to try anywhere else and just hoped that they served a good gin and tonic.
The heat of the club hit him in contrast to the sharp coldness of the atmosphere outside. He loosed his tie as he sat down at the nearest stool. A bartended spotted him instantly and wandered over to him.
"Tough day?" he asked whilst drying a pint glass. Tony looked up at him with tired eyes trying to register what the guy had said to him.
"Try tough life" Tony corrected. The bartended smiled sympathetically.
"What can I get you?" he asked. Tony remembered at first the gin and tonic he fancied earlier but decided there was no beating around the bush. He headed straight to the shots.
"Don't worry mate, Darcy's playing tonight, she'll cheer you up" he told Tony whilst professionally pouring Tony a shot. Tony looked at the man confused. The bartended laughed as he seemed to be able to read Tony eyes.
"Not that way! She's a good kid, talented, always plays music people want to hear" he said before leaving the bottle of tequila without Tony even asking him.
A sudden strumming of guitar strings brought Tony out of his reverie and he turned to face the stage where he expected this Darcy girl to appear. There she was, and she wasn't what he expected. She appeared very young, maybe 18 or even younger. Her long dark hair was done up in soft curls that fell around her shoulders onto her guitar. The audience clapped and cheered and once they had died down she broke into 'Chasing Pavements' by Adele. Tony knew the song well, it was one of Ziva's favourite songs and they'd often listened to it whenever he came over for dinner. He thought about those days sadly and wondered what had gone wrong.
Before he knew it, it was almost 1.30am and the bartender was trying to extract the tequila bottle from under Tony's arm.
"Come on mate, I'm sure you got some lovely gal waiting for you at home" he said, Tony snorted.
"Yeah right!" he slurred. Great, he thought. I'm definitely pissed. He looked around and saw the club was now empty apart from a few cleaners stacking stools upside down on the tables. He relaxed and let the guy take back his tequila bottle which was pretty much close to empty.
"Go home," the bartended told Tony. Suddenly Darcy came over.
"Nice show, Darcy my girl...can I get you a drink?" the bartended asked handing her an envelope which Tony guessed to be her wages.
"No thanks, I've got a concert at the cathedral tomorrow, got rehearsals early" she told him. Tony took in the sight before him. She reminded him of Ziva. Maybe because he was drunk he couldn't tell.
"I see you got a new friend Freddy?" Darcy asked looking at Tony sympathetically. Her young face looking down at him made him feel so stupid. Why was he here? Getting drunk? What sort of person did that make him?
"Poor guy, looks like he'd been through a lot" Freddy replied.
"I can hear you two" Tony interrupted. Darcy cocked her head to one side smiling.
"Nah, he's not that far gone" she said with a laugh.
"He's definitely not going to be able to drive home" Freddy told her.
"Would you like a lift, sir?" she asked politely. Freddy reached over and put his hand on her shoulder.
"Darcy, what have I told you! You shouldn't take drunk punters home" he said sternly. Tony frowned.
"He'll be ok, won't you? Its cold out there, it will be worse if he's drunk" Darcy said. Tony knew she was only feeling sorry for him. She took his arm and he got up slowly after her.
"Steady" she said draping his arm over her shoulder.
"Take care, Darcy" Freddy told her.
"See you next week" she told him without even looking around.
Tony removed his arm from her shoulder feeling completely humiliated.
"Why did you do that? I'm not a complete invalid" he said stumbling over his words.
"Oh yeah, well I didn't think it was a wise idea for you to put that statement to the test" she said, "What's your address?" she asked, "You can remember that, can't you?" she smiled.
"Do you do this often?" he asked her.
"You just looked like you needed a friend, that's all" she said. Tony, sensing his harsh tone, backed down.
"I'm sorry, I'm just..." he said but trailed off.
"I know, come on...you need to sleep" she said helping him into her car.
"So, what's your name?" she asked, starting the ignition and pulling away from the club.
"Tony, Tony DiNozzo" he replied. The sudden motion started to make him feel queasy.
"Italian?" she asked. He nodded.
"You were really good by the way, do you do this a lot?" he asked. She shrugged.
"No, I do it one night a week. I'm still in school you see, senior year. I'm trying to save up money fr when I start at the Conservatoire in New York.
"Wow, so do you just sing and play?" he said.
"I play the piano and the cello as well" she said nonchalantly.
"Your parents must be very proud" he suggested.
"They don't really care; they're both in the marines. They're still mad at me because I refused to be like them. I don't want to get myself blown up" Tony laughed.
"What do you do?" she asked him.
"I'm a Secret...I mean...Special Agent for NCIS" He stumbled, the alcohol started to get the better of him.
"Really? Navel feds?" She asked. Tony was glad she knew what it was as he really was much too tired to explain it all.
"I bet that's really cool, loads of guns and stuff" she said. Tony frowned
"I thought you said you didn't like that stuff" he said.
"I don't, I'm just trying to make conversation. So what's a Special Agent like you doing hanging out getting drunk in bars?" she asked.
"I've had a couple of rough months. My partner and I were split up last year..." he began.
"What was she like?" Darcy asked. Tony looked up at her sharply.
"It's not like that, I meant, my work partner, that's all..." he said. Darcy frowned.
"I never insinuated that it was like that" she replied. "But since you brought it up, are you like that?" she asked. She saw the hurt and pain in Tony's eyes and switched her tone of voice to a more serious one.
"Sometimes talking help, especially to someone you don't know" she told him wisely. He paused for a while.
"We were sent on a mission 6 months ago, protection detail, for our director. Anyways, to cut a long story short, we lost her and she ended up getting murdered. I blamed myself because she was right, we should have gone after her. Director Vance split us all up. I was Agent Afloat for six months and she was sent back to Israel" Tony explained. His lack of control caused him to explain referring to people Darcy didn't know but not once did she question him. She just let him get it all off his chest. It was what he needed.
"She's Israeli?" she asked.
"Mossad" Tony corrected. Darcy raised her eyebrows.
"Wow, a ninja" she said. This made Tony laugh.
"You were in love with her, weren't you?" she said, more as a statement rather than a question.
"I still am..." He replied. It was then he realised that they were pulled up outside his apartment.
"How long have we been here?" he asked embarrassed. Darcy shrugged.
"A few minutes. What's her name?" Darcy asked.
"Ziva" he said. Her name so naturally falling off his tongue. Just saying her name sent tingles down his spine.
"Pretty name" Darcy said. Tony nodded.
"We're all back on the same team now but since she's been back, she's been different" he began.
"I'm sure 6 months on a boat has changed you too" she said.
"I think there's someone else" he said.
"Another man? A boyfriend?" she said instinctively.
"Yeah" he nodded "and I've just got this really bad feeling about him and I just can't shake it" he told her.
"Have you even met the guy?" she asked. He shook his head.
"Then how could you know. That feeling you've got..." she began but he cut her off.
"I'm not jealous" he told her.
"I think you are, that's what you're feeling. It's eating you up because you could have had her but now you can't because she'd with someone else...it's only natural when that happens to soul mates" she said.
"Who said anything about soul mates? Anyway, I just need a way of relieving this anger I have towards myself...I just feel like I'm gonna explode" he explained tightening his fists with frustration.
"Well, talking helps. I'm bias but...I find singing is perfect for getting your emotions out. It's the best way to express your feelings...through song and music. You find a song, or compose one yourself" she said.
"I can't sing, or play the guitar or the piano or anything like that" he argued.
"I'll teach you if you want. Here's my number. Have a think about it and give me a call, ok?" she said. Patting his shoulder.
"Thanks, Darcy...I know we've only just met but you're a really good friend" he told her. She smiled.
"Well, I aim to please" she said.
"I'm serious; you're the only one who hasn't judged me on this whole thing" he said, "Thank you"
"You're very welcome, Tony" she said. "Will you be ok getting inside?" she asked. He nodded.
"Ok, give me a call...even if you just want to talk" she told him. He smiled softly as he got out the car.
He waved her off and went up to his apartment hastily. When he entered, he threw down his mail on the side and flicked the light switch, illuminating the room. The light from the nearby lamp cast down on a photo frame on the table. He noticed it and went over to pick it up. He loved this photo; it was of him and Ziva at the previous years' Christmas party, before everything started to go wrong. Abby had taken the photo and commented on what a pair they were. They'd danced then too. Secretly, he'd never felt something so perfect or right in his whole life. There was only one thing getting in the way...Gibbs' rules. Oh and maybe two things. Secondly the fact that neither of them had the courage to admit the truth. It all seemed like such a long time ago...everything was different now.
But he wasn't giving up.