5 Reasons Not To Get Up
Chapter 1: Logan's Birthday
Logan decided that he made enough enemies when he woke up on his 20th birthday. Even his so-called friends gave him grief.
First, Dick -Who else?!- hid his hair gel. WTF?! How the hell am I supposed to I go out in public without it?!?! Damn these highlights!
Second, he called room service for usual breakfast. It was Logan's extreme displeasure that it was Ratner who answered the phone. In a polite but sadistically pleased tone he said, "We're sorry, Mr. Echolls. The entire room service staff has refused to provide you with any assistance whatsoever. Thank you for under-tipping. Have a nice day." What the… You little… Wait 'til I tell the hotel manager—Oh, shit, I can't. I promised Parker to be nicer. Damn that girl!
Next, having to skip breakfast, he headed to Hearst's Cafeteria. Queuing up, he saw a familiar blonde near the front. Ah, Veronica! He approached her, hoping to cut in line. And at that moment, he inadvertently overheard her say to Wallace, "Piz is a better kisser." That dweeb?! Aaaaaaarrrrgh!!! No effing way! EFFING?! Wait, is Parker turning me into some sissy? I knew I should've never watched "My Super Sweet Sixteen!"
Dazed, he mistakenly ended up in his poli-sci class. What am I doing here? Apparently, even the professor was thinking the same thing as he said, "Mr. Aaron Echolls. Thank you for showing up." I am NOT my father, you old balding jerk! The professor seemed to have heard that as well since for the next two very uncomfortable hours the professor took a perverse pleasure in calling him "Mr. Aaron Echolls" with every single question he asked in class.
Needing a little sympathy, he went to his perfect (and sweet, unlike some pain in the ass) girlfriend's dorm room for some simple kindness. Unfortunately, Parker wasn't there. Then he belatedly remembered that she was out getting a new wig. – God, can this day get any worse?
Apparently the universe decided to answer him with a big fat YES. Because Mac was there to greet him with her usual sarcastic remark, "Have you seen Veronica?"
Logan decided then and there to never get out of bed on his birthday.
A/N: Co-written with MiSa-PizVe. Don't get us wrong... We really love Logan. Every character will get their turn. As of now, we're planning to do more chapters but for different characters. If you want to send us some requests for specific a character or "reasons not to get up" for Logan or any other character, feel free to PM either of us. Due credit will be given. Inspired by gnomesbeatfaeries' fic entitled "5 Ways To Annoy Gaius Baltar." (We loved it, 'Madame President'.)