Title: Out of Bounds
Fandom: Glee
Rating: R
Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Chapter: 1/1
Word Count: 6000+
Summary: Kurt's been avoiding Finn for two years. And sometimes falling out of love is harder than falling into it, but the only thing that's certain is that nothing stays the same.
Out of Bounds
It's the secret that I keep; it's the ache that makes me weep
The last thing Kurt Hummel expects to see when he walks into his kitchen one sunny morning is Finn Hudson. In fact, he has done everything in his power to ensure that he doesn't walk into his kitchen to find the other man sitting in a chair and casually sipping a cup of coffee wearing…oh, dear God…a Hollister polo. Resisting the urge to rip it off of him and replace it with something more suited to a University student, he instead clears his throat and Finn turns to look at him, a smile lighting up his handsome face. "Hey, dude!"
"Why, hello, Finn Hudson," Kurt says casually, pouring coffee for himself and sitting as far away from Finn as is humanly possible without leaving the room. "I didn't know you were coming back."
"I wasn't, not really," Finn looks vaguely embarrassed. "I just…"
Kurt listens disinterestedly, trying to figure out where he'd gone wrong. He's purposefully not gone to the same University as Finn as to avoid more awkwardness, and for the past two years he'd called ahead before coming home to make sure Finn wasn't there when he arrived. His excuses were good, and his father has never questioned him, so he had thought he was safe.
And he isn't avoiding Finn because he doesn't want to see him; no, quite the opposite. He's avoiding Finn because he wants to fall out of love.
He wants the next time he sees the other man to prove he has no feelings stronger than platonic brotherly love for him, and he doesn't think he's there yet.
In fact, he's quite sure he isn't, and maybe after two years it's getting a little pathetic, but this is the last thing he needs.
"…and Maya wanted to see the place, so…"
Maya, Kurt thought. Finn's girlfriend. Luckily he and Rachel hadn't lasted past high school, and she had gone to New York to pursue her Broadway dreams, letting Finn meet Maya at University. Kurt has never met her, but now he has a feeling he's going to, and he's going to dislike her on principle.
God, he still has it bad.
"Kurt? You okay, dude? You're kinda spacing out on me."
"Fine, sweetie. What were you saying?" Kurt asks quickly, looking at Finn but keeping his eyes somewhere around the other man's shoulder. He is not going to look him in the eyes. No way.
But Finn doesn't respond, and Kurt is eventually forced to look at him, wondering why he's silent. "It's just…nobody's called me that in two years. It's weird," Finn admits.
"Oh. Sorry."
"Nah, it's cool. I like it when it's you, y'know?"
"Okay," Kurt hopes Finn will drop the subject; the word was just kind of instinctive at this point. At some point in their junior year Finn had become 'sweetie,' and neither of them had ever commented on it. It's the just the same as the way he calls Mercedes 'honey' and Quinn 'darling;' nobody looks into it too closely.
"Yeah. So, Burt and Mom wanted to meet Maya, so I told them I'd bring her through, but she had a family emergency and had to stay at home…but I wanted to come anyway, when I heard you were here. I've missed you, dude," Finn smiles at him and Kurt immediately looks away.
"Great. I have to go out; I'm meeting Mercedes and Quinn for some shopping. See you tonight?" he shouldn't have asked, but he really, really couldn't resist.
"I'll be here for a couple of weeks," Finn nods, standing up with the obvious intention of giving Kurt a hug, but the smaller man slips out of the kitchen before he can move around the table.
Great, Kurt thinks as he grabs his car keys and all but flies out the front door. Two years haven't diminished his feelings for Finn at all.
If anything, it has only made them stronger.
He is so screwed.
And every day's another wrong to rectify
"Kurt, my man, you're spacin' on me."
"Hmm?" Kurt looks at Mercedes, realizing somewhere in his mind that this is the second time those words had been uttered in his direction today, and decides to pay more attention to his surroundings. "No, I'm not," he turns back to the rack of clothes and wrinkles his nose. Lima fashions haven't improved at all in the last few years, and quite frankly it's depressing.
"You totally are, boy. You were seein' things that weren't in that clothing rack. What's up?"
"Nothing, honey," Kurt says vaguely, giving up on the clothes and moving on to the next display.
"Kurt, I've been your best girl for like six years now. I know there's something wrong, so don't play dumb with me. What's up?" she repeats, and one look at her face tells Kurt that he'd better have an answer for her this time.
"If you must know…" Kurt places both hands on the clothing rack and swallows. "Finn's in town."
"Finn?" Quinn pops her head around the rack. "Finn's back? That's great!"
"Except it…isn't," Kurt sighs.
"Boy, you have been avoiding that man for two years. It's time you owned up to it; he's been calling all of us like weekly wondering if you're mad at him or something," Mercedes tells him bluntly.
"I still…Mercedes, I still want him. It's pathetic," Kurt snorts and pushes himself upright, moving quickly out of the store.
"Hey!" Quinn drops the clothes she's (apparently) buying and runs after him, linking their arms and dropping down onto a bench so forcefully he has to comply and sit with her. "Kurt, listen to me. Did you ever think that maybe Finn's the one?"
"For me? Of course," Kurt has a dreamy look in his eyes as he stares up at the mall skylights, basking in the sunlight coming through. "But me for him? Never. That boy is straight, Quinn."
"Don't give up on him so easily, Kurt. He really was worried when you never called him and seemed to be avoiding him. Like, genuinely worried," Quinn emphasizes. "You mean a lot to him, and I think you need to have a talk with him about everything. There's a good chance your parents will get married, and you definitely can't avoid him forever," she says rationally, smiling encouragingly at him, all pretty blonde hair and soulful dark eyes and he wants to believe her so, so badly, but…
"But what if he rejects me? I can't…nobody else has ever…" Kurt sighs.
"What about Sam?"
"Sam?" Kurt laughs bitterly. "Sam was a fraud. We broke up in first year because I realized why I was dating him: he was popular, he was on the football team, he was tall…"
"So he was Finn, except he liked boys," Quinn surmises.
"Exactly, darling. And I liked him enough, but it was always a comparison. Every boyfriend I've had since then has been a comparison, even if I didn't consciously register it at the time," he moans and slumps against the bench as Quinn pats his arm.
"You'll figure it out, Kurt. But why don't you and Finn come over tomorrow for dinner? Mom's cooking, and she's an excellent cook," Quinn adds.
"Will Puck be there?" Kurt wonders aloud.
"Of course," Quinn looks surprised. She and Puck are one of those inevitable things, together since the baby debacle and not losing steam any time soon. After Quinn's mother had finalized her divorce (and ended up with a bunch of their assets, thankfully) Quinn had gone back to live with her and while Kurt had the feeling their relationship wasn't all sunshine and roses, they were happy, and that was enough for him.
"Alright. I'll talk to him," Kurt decides, causing Quinn to beam at him and wrap him in a hug.
"You won't regret it, Kurt. Now, can I go buy those things?"
"You need to come to New York, darling. You'd chuck those things in the dumpster if you saw what was in stores there," Kurt, quickly back to his old self, informs her.
"One day," she promises. "Come on, Mercedes will be impatient."
Kurt obediently follows her into the store, his spirits somewhat lifted.
Well, okay, lifted enough that he buys one sweater that doesn't completely offend him. Such is shopping in Lima.
And every night's a hunger I can't satisfy
Kurt couldn't do it; couldn't talk to Finn about dinner the next night, so he sends him a brief text instead, and luckily with the addition of Puck as well as Quinn and Mercedes at the dinner table the two barely have to exchange any words.
He knows he's being childish and cowardly, but he can't bring himself to care. As long as he can avoid talking to Finn for the next week or so, he should be safe, as horrible as that sounds.
It doesn't, however, help that, the night after their joint dinner, he wakes up in a mess of sticky sheets that hasn't happened to him since high school. Luckily, he thinks as he strips off his pajama pants, his dad put in the promised addition and Finn and he no longer have to share the basement, or this would be a hundred times more awkward than it already is.
Grimacing and wondering how he can explain this come morning, he decides to make a rush for the laundry room and, of course, runs into Finn, who's apparently still awake at three in the morning.
"Hey, man! What's up?"
"I…" Kurt thinks quickly, staring at the soiled pants. "I was in the kitchen for a glass of milk and it kind of spilt," he says lamely, but Finn just nods amicably. Wonderful, idiotic Finn, Kurt thinks fondly, still innocent after all this time.
"Kay. You need any help?"
"No, I'll just…get stain remover on them and wash them in the morning," Kurt walks quickly past him and does just that, hoping his dad doesn't notice (the little voice in his head tells him that he's a grown man and his father has no right to comment, but he worries regardless).
After dumping the pants into the washer and just hoping that whoever turns it on next doesn't examine them too closely, he heads back to bed, surprised to see the television on as he walks by the living room.
Finn's watching some replay of a baseball game, and Kurt really, really wants to just slide past and go into his room, but Finn looks lonely, so he chokes down his apprehension and enters. "Finn? You alright?"
"Yeah. Can't sleep," Finn admits. "I'm worried about Maya's grandmother. She's like the coolest old lady ever, y'know, and she was rushed to the hospital before we left…that's why she didn't come."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's fine. But she hasn't called me in like half a week and I'm just…nervous," Finn sighs and turns back to the television.
"You want some company?" Kurt curses himself for asking, but he's not going to be cruel just because he's a little messed up right now.
"Yeah. That's be sweet, dude," Finn pats the seat beside him, and while Kurt was just going to go for the armchair, he can't do so now without looking incredibly rude, so he sits daintily on the edge of the couch. "Hey, you're so tense. Relax, man," Finn urges, pulling a throw blanket off of the back and wrapping it around his shoulders before motioning Kurt over, and oh, how Kurt wants to run, but no.
No, he's going to stick this one out.
He cautiously moves close enough for Finn to wrap him in the blanket as well, bringing his legs up and tucking his feet under to get comfortable. Soon he's resting against Finn's chest, the other man's arms around him holding him steady, and it just feels right.
"Thanks. For staying," Finn clarifies, and Kurt knows he knows how much Kurt despises baseball, but he merely nods.
"Anytime," slips out before he can stop it, but he means it.
Of course he does.
But there's a bond between us that I can't deny
The inevitable happens a couple of days later when Finn gets a phone call, and Kurt can hear a lot of screaming and cursing before the unmistakable sound of a cell phone hitting a wall makes him wince.
He waits ten minutes before venturing into the living room where Finn is looking at the remains of his phone. "Sweetie? What happened?" he asks quietly, and Finn shakes his head and collapses on the couch, putting his forehead into his hands and sobbing quietly. "Finn? You know you can tell me," Kurt sits a respectable distance away.
"It's Maya. She…she was lying to me. Her grandmother wasn't sick at all," Finn sniffs.
"Oh, sweetie," Kurt puts a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Talk to me?"
"She was…seeing somebody else. She's pregnant, Kurt! I mean, once with Quinn and Puck was bad enough, but…but twice? I mean, am I that horrible of a boyfriend that people would rather lie to me than…shoot, man, twice!" Finn is babbling, but Kurt really can't blame him. He felt bad enough for Finn after Quinn and Puck had come out and told the truth, but for it to happen again? It has to hurt.
"Oh, sweetie," he says again, seemingly unable to come up with anything else, and Finn falls against him, sobbing uncontrollably now. "It's okay."
"No, it really isn't," Finn shuts down his attempt to be, admittedly, falsely comforting, and Kurt stays silent. "I really loved her."
Kurt has nothing to say to that, having never met her, so he decides to keep quiet.
"I really thought she was the one, y'know? I mean, Rachel was great and all, but it was never meant to be. And…I know I felt that way about Quinn, too, but I was young. I'm so…how can I trust anybody when all they do is let me down?" he looks pitiful, and Kurt whispers endearments and nonsense at him until his tears dry up and he slumps, exhausted, in Kurt's arms.
Oh, Finn, he thinks, fingers carding through Finn's hair in a move so natural he doesn't truly register he's doing it. Oh, Finn. Too trusting and gullible, even after all this time. He wants to be horrible clichéd and tell Finn that he would never hurt him, but he tamps down that urge firmly.
"Thanks, man. For being here," Finn says after an eternity, and Kurt, without really thinking, presses a kiss to his forehead.
"Always, Finn Hudson. Always," he promises, and Finn's eyes light up at the words like he's finally found the one person he can trust.
Kurt sure hopes he has.
And I know I'm in too deep, I'm gonna drown
Finn, it turns out, had plans to go to Orlando with Maya for their one-year anniversary, but Kurt luckily stops him before he can decimate the plane tickets and so he ends up on a flight to Florida for his efforts.
Not that he's complaining: a week in the sunshine? Plus Orlando has utterly fabulous shopping at prices he's not afraid to spend, so that's a huge bunch of plusses already.
Plus (and not that he's thinking about this) it's a week alone with Finn in a one-bedroom villa. With a sofa-bed, of course, because otherwise it would just be awkward. They eat at the hotel the first night, rather companionably, and then Finn settles in to watch yet another baseball game and Kurt, thankful that there's more than one television in the room, watches a couple of interior decorating shows before deciding to call it a night (Finn has graciously let him have the bed, after all).
The next week is spent relaxing by the pool, jaunting off to Disneyworld a couple of times (Finn is a humongous kid at heart, and Kurt has to admit that he's having far more fun than he's had anywhere in the past two years), and shopping. A lot of shopping. Kurt insists on buying gifts for everybody back in Lima, and eventually gets Finn to help him pick up souvenirs.
Their flight leaves late coming back so their last day is once again spent sipping virgin piña coladas by the lazy river, and Finn eventually convinces Kurt to hop into the pool with him, Kurt insisting on staying firmly planted on top of his inner tube, thank you very much.
This, however, doesn't prevent Finn from unceremoniously grabbing the back of the tube and flipping him over, and Kurt falls into the water with an undignified squawk, Finn grabbing his arm and dragging him into the surface and into his arms, and Kurt nearly loses it: pressed against Finn, skin-to-skin, and it's hot and wet and he is not going there.
Finn gives him one of the most charming smiles he's ever been on the receiving end of and he gives into temptation and hugs the taller man, arms around him and head against his shoulder. Finn doesn't even seem surprised by the action and returns it heartily, pressing his nose into Kurt's sweet-smelling hair.
They stand like that until Kurt realizes that a tiny lizard who's climbed up onto the sun-warmed pool edge is staring at them and he steps back, embarrassed, but Finn merely ruffles his now-wet hair and helps him back up onto the inner tube, thoughtfully pulling him to the stairs and offering him a hand out of the pool.
Kurt glares at him and mumbles about not needing to be taken care of, but he takes Finn's hand anyway.
Standing on the edge of time, playing out a reckless pantomime
"You wanna know if he likes you?"
"I'm having suspicions, Noah. I need to know if I'm right before I embarrass myself fully," Kurt says firmly, staring at the other man across the table, and Puck raises his hands in surrender and leans casually back in his chair.
"Look, whatever, dude. Not like I care," Puck mutters, horribly unconvincing as he stares forlornly at his cup of coffee. Kurt suspects he'd much rather be drinking beer, even at this hour of the morning, but unfortunately not even the famous Puckerman pout could convince the waiter that he was over twenty-one without ID.
"Your nonchalance is hardly going to convince me of anything, Noah," Kurt tells him firmly, and the look Puck gives him now can easily be translated as a blunt question on why Kurt insists on calling him by his given name. "I do it to irritate you, because it so obviously does," Kurt answers the unspoken query
"Fine, whatever," Puck repeats. "Look, dude, Finny and I haven't been the same since…y'know. I mean, we're tight again and all, but he's not gonna like reveal his deepest, darkest secrets to me."
"Yes or no. Simple question," Kurt's had enough of Puck's wishy-washy question avoidance and jumps to the point.
"Yeah, okay. He talks about you like constantly, and he was really bummed when you wouldn't, like, return his calls or anything. If you were a girl, I'd say he was totally crushing. But you're a dude, and since I am 100% man, I'm not even gonna go there," Puck flexes his biceps almost unconsciously, and Kurt rolls his eyes as a couple of teenaged girls a few booths over glance at him appreciatively.
Puck follows his glance and shakes his head. "Nah, man, I know you and Mercedes would rip me apart if I cheated on Quinn, so don't think I'm gonna," he says firmly, and Kurt knows he's telling the truth.
"Well, thank you for the information," Kurt finishes off his coffee and stands, deciding to irritate Puck even more when the other man also stands, darting around the table and hugging him quickly, proceeding to ignore his good-natured gripes as he leaves the restaurant with a smile on his face.
It's the emptiness I fear; baby, please don't leave me here
So he could now safely set his plan in motion. That is, he isn't going to take Puck at face value: no, he's now gone from ignoring Finn to treating him like a good friend and nothing more, and he wants Finn to make the first move.
This becomes difficult when he bounces into the kitchen and finds a young, incredibly attractive woman seated there. "Hello?"
"You must be Kurt," she stands and shakes his hand, and he's too stunned to do anything but shake back. "I'm Maya."
"Oh," Kurt tries to stifle his initial snarky response and cocks his head from side-to-side in a move that he thinks he must have stolen from Santana at some point. "Yes, Finn's told me about you."
"Kurt? That you?" Finn lumbers into the kitchen, staring at Maya before his eyes narrow. "I thought I told you to leave."
"Finn, baby…"
"Don't 'baby' me!" Finn clenches his fists by his sides, and Kurt knows this is going to be ugly. He wants to leave, but Finn's kind of blocking the door, so he moves back until he hits the counter and leans there, wanting to watch this and yet not wanting to at the same time. "You betrayed me! And you knew that Quinn and Puck went behind my back and made me think I was going to be a father and you still did it!"
Kurt watches Finn carefully, a tiny part of him informing him that the last time Finn was this enraged it was because of him, but now that the tall man's anger isn't directed at him…yeah, it's still kind of scary.
"I made a mistake! I was…"
"Don't you dare say 'drunk.' That was Quinn's excuse, too," Finn says coldly, no longer yelling, and Kurt thinks that this is just as scary…maybe more-so. Finn's scarily intense, and Kurt almost, almost thinks he has to intervene. But Finn's probably the sweetest guy he knows, and he knows he wouldn't hurt Maya, not like that.
"I won't, then. But you have to understand, Finn, Jared's a nobody! He has no money! He can't…you are the man I love, and if I'm raising this baby, I want it to be with you," she pleads, and Kurt can tell she's truly scared: scared for her own future, scared for her unborn child, scared that she's screwed up this relationship beyond repair.
"I'm sorry, Maya," Finn's anger leaves him in a giant 'whuff' of breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't. I don't want to be a father, not now. I want to get out of this town. I want to go to school and get a good job and then, maybe, when I'm not a Lima Loser, then I'll think about kids. Quinn being pregnant was the end of the world for me, and I'm sorry, but I can't take responsibility on this one. It's your kid, Maya. Not mine. I'm sorry," he says again, brown eyes meaning it implicitly, and Maya looks stricken before nodding hesitantly.
"It was too much to ask for. I'm sorry too, Finn. I think we had something special."
"We did," Finn agrees. "But it's over, now. Good luck with…everything," he gestures, and she moves hesitantly over to him, kissing him gently before walking out of the kitchen and, a selfish part of Kurt hopes, out of his life for good.
Finn turns to him, then, looking for something; Kurt isn't quite sure what it is, but he's going to do his best to give it to him.
They wind up on the couch watching baseball again, wrapped in a blanket. Finn pretends he isn't crying. Kurt pretends he doesn't notice.
I am weak- I am wrong; and every day I swear that I'll be strong
The day Kurt comes home with a black eye, blood dripping out of his mouth, he finally gets the go-ahead he's been searching for.
"Oh my God, man!"
Kurt smiles weakly at Finn before collapsing in a dead faint on the hall floor, and when he wakes up he's in bed, Finn holding a cool cloth against his forehead and his dad and Carole looking on nervously.
"What happened?" he asks weakly, eyes darting around the room.
"We'd hope you could tell us that," Burt's eyes are red-rimmed like he's been crying, but he doesn't cry; he's the strong one, what Kurt tries so hard to be.
"Ran into some of the jocks from high school," he remembers blearily. "Seems they were…intent on letting me know that…ah…" he shrugs.
"What?" Burt is angry now; enraged, and Kurt flinches. "I'll press charges. I'll find the monsters who did this to my son and I'll…"
"Dad, it's okay," Kurt says wearily, closing his eyes. "It's nothing that hasn't happened before."
"But why?" Carole looks aghast, and Kurt knows she knows, but he feels he has to admit it.
"Why? Because I'm a fag," Kurt laughs bitterly, humorlessly at that, and everyone else in the room flinches. Especially Finn, he notes, who still looks like he wants to make up for his comments back in sophomore year. "Well, I am. I'm just glad that I now live in a place where you don't get beat up just for walking down the street."
Finn swipes his hair back and checks his forehead for what Kurt figures is a fever to explain the way he's talking. And he's not even angry at the jocks, not really, but he's maybe just a little disappointed that after so many years the horizons of his former classmates haven't widened any.
Burt and Carole leave in a bit, Burt telling Kurt to rest and then telling Finn to make him if he doesn't want to, and Kurt chuckles as he climbs the stairs.
"You okay?" Finn asks quietly, replacing the cool washcloth.
"I will be. You all don't need to fuss," Kurt bats his hand away, noting Finn's hurt expression, and shifts over enough that Finn can climb into the bed with him.
"Hey, Kurt?"
"Yes?"
"I really am sorry, y'know. About…what I said to you? Back when I first moved in?"
"I know, Finn. That's all water under the bridge," Kurt assures him.
"Water under the…? Never mind, it's just…I was a little freaked out, right, because you liked me."
"I did," Kurt admits.
"Like, like-liked me."
"I loved you," Kurt says softly, and Finn looks away. "I know it's hard to hear, especially from me, but I loved you."
"Yeah," Finn stares at a spot on the wall for a good two minutes before gently pulling Kurt to his chest. "Is that why you've been avoiding me?"
"I was trying to fall out of love. It's harder than it sounds," Kurt replies bitterly, closing his eyes and listening to Finn's steady heartbeat.
"Oh. Well…ah…have you?"
"You mean, do I still fantasize about you?" Kurt cracks one eye open. "The answer isn't going to freak you out or anything?"
"No…"
"Then yes, I've failed horribly and still can't get over you," Kurt blurts out, but quietly, without trying to sound like a lovesick fool.
"Is that…sarcasm?" Finn looks perplexed when he looks up and he can't help but laugh.
"Oh, sweetie, no," Kurt chuckles, trying to curb his laughter because it's really hurting his ribs right now. "No, I meant every word of that."
"Well…okay, just making sure, because otherwise this is gonna be embarrassing, but…I like you. Like, like-like you," Finn says softly, and Kurt's heart jumps, although he tries to keep his face impassive. "I mean, you've just kinda shut me out, and I guess I deserved it, but…man, I miss you. A lot. I want us to be friends…more than friends, again."
He sounds so earnest, dark eyes completely unguarded, and Kurt buries his face against Finn's shoulder and brings his arms around him, holding him tight. "You don't know how long I've wished for you to say that."
"Since freshman year?"
"Pretty much," Kurt agrees, pulling back enough that he can look at Finn. "Sorry. I'm probably not the prettiest face at the moment."
"Nah, dude, you're always perfect," Finn looks unsure, so Kurt takes the initiative and lightly presses his lips to Finn's, giving him the chance to back off, his heart pounding madly.
Finn (innocent, gullible, idiotic, perfect Finn) doesn't, and Kurt thinks that this is probably the greatest thing that's ever happened to him, bruises and all.
And baby, it's the kind of rush that terrifies
Kurt figures the first time will be awkward, but Finn brings new levels of meaning to the word, and Kurt wonders if he was like this with all of his girlfriends (unfortunately, if that's the case, he can see where some of their troubles with him came from, but he's willing to work through it. He's waited long enough, after all, and it only makes sense that his fantasies are horribly overblown).
"So…ah…" Finn's standing in his jeans, not looking at Kurt, who sighs and flops on the bed. "You…"
"Finn, sweetie, come here," Kurt crooks a finger and Finn obediently shuffles over, Kurt reeling him in by the belt loops and pressing a kiss to his stomach. "Look, you need to stop freaking out on me. It's no big deal."
"But I want it to be special for you."
Oh, Finn, Kurt thinks, aware that those two words are together a lot in his thoughts, before slowly undoing Finn's jeans and sliding them off. "The fact that it's you makes it special," he replies truthfully.
"Ah…then, do you wanna…or…"
Kurt, who's had enough of his babbling, hooks a foot around Finn's calf and overbalances him so he falls onto the bed, bringing them face-to-face. "Sweetie, I've done this before, so that should answer your question. But just remember that I expect equality in this relationship."
"You sound like Rachel," Finn laughs, looking slightly more at ease, and Kurt doesn't even call him on comparing him to Rachel, of all people. "But I get it, man. I don't expect you to…like…put out for me all the time. I think I can handle it."
"I think you can, too," Kurt kisses him sweetly, hands slipping lower until Finn finally lets go, and then it's perfect.
Finn, naturally, has a few more moments of awkward panic, but Kurt coaxes him through them and when they're finally there, Kurt's foot on Finn's back pressing him deeper, he knows that anything he's ever dreamed of doesn't compare to this, to Finn actually being there, warm and solid and…
He gasps against Finn's mouth, coming so fast it feels like he's sixteen again, and Finn growls, low in his throat, lips seeking Kurt's as he follows him blindly over the edge.
And the horrible clichéd romance-novel drivel about feeling like you're flying? Yeah. Kurt's there. And it feels incredible.
I wanna surrender; I wanna give in
"I love you, Finn Hudson."
The words slip out almost instinctively as they're laying there, breaths and hearts still slowing down in the afterglow.
Finn mumbles something unclear and pulls Kurt closer to him, flopping onto his back so the smaller man can easily lay against his shoulder. Finally he clears his throat and mutters, "I don't know if I'm ready for that, dude."
Kurt tries not to sound disappointed. "That's fine. I mean, I don't expect you to…"
But Finn, somehow eerily perceptive after the fact, shakes his head and kisses Kurt to stop his explanation. "No, I mean…you've felt this way for years, so it's totally genuine coming from you. But I don't want to, like, make the words cheap or anything by just saying them 'cause you're kinda supposed to in this situation. I really like you, Kurt, but…"
"But you want it to mean something," Kurt nods, feeling a little better. "I understand."
"Cool."
"And I hope what we did doesn't scare you off."
"No way," Finn says quickly. "Santana once told me that it takes twenty times for the feeling of accomplishment to set in, but I think she was wrong."
Kurt, having heard about Finn and Santana's little debacle by this point, isn't quite sure what the other man is getting at. "Hmm?"
"I think that, if it's the right person, it only takes once."
And oh, God, Kurt's crying now. Because Finn can somehow take the simplest, most incongruous statement and turn it into the most heartfelt declaration of love he's ever heard.
"Hey, woah, what did I say?"
"Everything," Kurt whispers, kissing him hungrily. "Everything I needed to hear."
"Oh, good," Finn looks adorably relieved, and Kurt can't stop laughing now, and just like that he knows they're never going to be awkward about it again.
And voices in my head I cannot hush
Six months later, they come back for some sort of semi-organized Glee Club reunion that Rachel's been pestering them all about. Finn has managed to transfer to Kurt's University with little fuss, as Carole figured he wouldn't want to be near Maya anymore regardless, and it was the most convenient solution (Finn and Kurt didn't complain, of course).
Quinn greets them at the door, congratulating them (although Finn looks unsure by this) and ushering them inside before pulling Kurt back to talk to him. "I'm happy for you."
"A lot of it is thanks to you. If you hadn't pressed me to find out, we might never have gotten here," Kurt kisses her cheek and she takes his hand and pulls him to see everybody else.
Things are normal (well, as normal as they can be when you put the twelve of them in one room together) until Puck stands up and announces a toast to "Hudson and his new man," which leads to Finn turning a rather endearing shade of red while Kurt tries to hide the fact that he's laughing hysterically.
"Dude, can we not talk about that?" Finn mutters, sending a death-glare in Puck's direction.
"Hey, we're all happy for you, man. You and Hummel are like meant to be together or something. Whatever," he shrugs. "And you know, I don't think any less of you just because you're banging a dude…"
"Puck!" Quinn hisses.
"Sorry. But like I said, we're all behind the two of you. And that wasn't supposed to sound dirty, it just came out like that!" he protests when Quinn smacks his arm.
"Yes, Finn, I'm so glad you've moved on and found something you can truly enjoy," Rachel comes over and hugs him before turning to Kurt. "Kurt, I know we haven't always seen eye-to-eye, but I know how much you care for him and I wish you luck," she holds out a hand, stiffly, as if she's expecting to be pushed away, but Kurt surprises both of them by pulling her into a hug.
"Thank you, Rachel."
"Of course," she pats his back and pulls away, obviously with the intent of throwing on some music.
"Those better not be show tunes," Mercedes mutters at her back. Rachel, predictably, ignores her, and for a few hours it's like being back in high school again.
"How long are you two in town for? We need to do a double-date," Tina suggests at one point, and Finn once again seems to be looking for the ground to swallow him up, but Kurt turns his head and kisses him in full view of everybody before making plans with Tina.
To their credit, although Puck decides it's appropriate to make a very loud wolf-whistle during the kiss, nobody comments.
At least, not until Kurt notices Santana and Brittany whispering about something and Brittany looks up, confused, and asks, "So, wait. Finn's gay?"
Just like old times, Kurt thinks, smiling as Finn shyly takes his hand and twines their fingers together.
Okay, maybe not just like old times, but not everything can stay the same.
And Kurt Hummel is certainly not complaining about that.
'Cause I'm lost inside a dream that's out of bounds
A/N: Second Glee-fic! I wasn't quite sure how long this was going to turn out to be, but I'm quite satisfied with it, so I hope everyone enjoyed it as well. Comments/reviews are always much loved and appreciated.
The song 'Out of Bounds' is by Amanda Marshall, and you can listen to it here: http:/www(.)youtube(.)com/watch?v=Sah0p8vqRfM&feature=related (yes, I know it's a Doctor Who video, but it's the only version of the song I could find on YouTube).
Thanks for reading!