January 2026
Rachel watched the timer on her phone. Time passing slowly even though three minutes isn't that long. It chimes. Rachel stood up and crept towards the counter and looked down. NEGATIVE. AGAIN. She felt the tears coming and tried to fight them off. "I'm fine" she says softly. "Don't cry again. You should be used to this." She glanced at herself in the mirror. She doesn't see any joy left in what used to be her vibrant personality. Rachel looked beat down. Tired. Exhausted from six years of trying to have a baby. What a failure. All she and Finn have ever wanted was a few little versions of themselves to love. A boy with messy brown hair and a girl with big brown eyes. Hell even one out of the two would suffice at this point.
All of that seems lost now. This was their last shot. They had both agreed enough was enough. "Unexplained Infertility" the doctors told her. No reason why. No diagnosis. Her body just couldn't do it. Rachel let herself slide down to the floor and the sobs came. Loud, gut wrenching sobs. She broke.
Finn raced up the stairs to the front door. He knows today was test day. He tried calling Rachel in between two houses he was showing, but time got away from him and his clients never gave him a free moment. Finn was hoping that she had waited for him to take it so she wasn't alone. As he opened the front door to the house, he doesn't see or hear her. He knows she is home because her car is in the driveway. "Rachel?" he calls. "Rach? Where are you?" Finn grows concerned and runs up the stairs to their bedroom. He finds her sitting on the bed in tears, knees pulled up to her chest, mascara smeared down her cheeks. "Oh Rach, why didn't you wait for me so we could find out together?"
Rachel just shook her head, "I thought this was really it. I wanted to find out and surprise you when you got home. I was so sure I was pregnant. Why can't I be? Are we not good enough? Am I not good enough? " Her sobs returned. She was shocked she had any tears left.
Finn crawled up onto the bed and took her into his arms. "I don't know Rachel. I don't know what to say anymore".
Finn stared off at the wall. He had run out of things to say. They've been here so many times before. This time is no different. They tried not to get their hopes up but that's almost impossible to do. How can you not get excited about the possibility of a baby? He pulls her closer as they lay down on the bed.
Finn and Rachel stayed in bed until the sun set. No real motivation for getting up, except Finn was getting antsy and needed to eat. He also had a pile of referrals to call back tonight. Life goes on right? That's what he tells himself each and every time.
"Hey Rach, I'm going to go order some pizza and do some work in my office. Are you hungry?"
Rachel just moaned a quiet "no", never moving from her spot on the bed.
Finn sighs. He knows this Rachel. This is the Rachel that will be depressed for weeks or even months after another failed attempt. This Rachel blames herself for not being able to get pregnant, even though the doctors can't tell us why. This Rachel fears Finn will leave her for someone else. Someone who can give him a child. She'll panic every time he's late coming home over the next few weeks or if he gets a call from a strange number. Doesn't she know that he would rather die than be with anyone else? Baby or not he loves her.
He wished he could fix this. Make this situation that has taken over six years of their lives go away. They knew this was their final shot at having a biological child and it failed. They had tried it all; insemination, clomid, and invitro. All failed. All of their embryos were gone. Vanished into a distant memory of the family that could have been. Finn felt exhausted and he knew Rachel was emotionally spent. They had talked about adoption, but almost as a distant thought since they were sure they would get pregnant at some point. Now he's left with a sobbing wife and a situation he's unsure of how to handle.
Finn sat in his office staring at his paperwork while he shoved a slice of pizza in his mouth. His thoughts were elsewhere. He pictured Rachel's face when he first came home, all swollen and red from crying. He had to be strong for them. He was always strong. The finality of all of this finally sunk in. He hadn't let himself be sad because he didn't want Rachel to truly see how hard this was on him too.
As he turns his head back to his computer screen, his eyes stop on their wedding picture propped up on his desk. It was their favorite picture from the wedding. Just a casual shot of her sitting on his lap, both beaming at the camera. They were both so happy and so naïve of what was to come. He remembers how they talked on their wedding night about how they would wait two years and then try for kids. Let themselves get settled before the chaos began. It's now been 8 years since their wedding and he feels defeated by all of this. He finally lets the tears fall out of his eyes and feels some relief.
Later on he crawled back into bed, making sure not to disturb Rachel. She was finally asleep and surely needed some rest. He glanced at the calendar on his phone. Busy day ahead for them both. He and Rachel had house showings tomorrow morning with separate clients. Maybe a busy day is just what they needed. Hopefully she'll feel better in the morning.
Rachel opened her eyes and glanced at the clock. 5:03 am. She felt Finn's body pressed behind her, not remembering when she fell asleep and he came to bed. This is her favorite time of the day. Early mornings had always been their special time. They would chat and snuggle until one of them finally made the other go shower for the day. Relaxed in her bed and not ready to face the reality of the day, she rolled over to face Finn. His mouth was half open and he was gently snoring. He looked like a five year old boy when he slept, all disheveled and baby faced.
Rachel leaned over and placed a light kiss on Finn's lips. Before he even opened his eyes he pulled Rachel in for a tight hug. "Morning" he said.
Rachel just sighed. "Morning." Finn still had his eyes closed but reached his arm up to rub Rachel's thigh.
"I have a dr. apt to confirm what we already know at 8. Then I'm showing two houses to the Millers between 10 and 12. Afterwards I'm looking at a few new listings that came up this week. I don't feel like doing any of it".
Finn rubs his eyes. "Rachel I know. I don't feel like working today either, but we know how we get if we just mope around the house. It's not healthy for us. We can be sad but functional. It's what we do. If we sit around here it will just be worse. Let's make the best of today ok? ".
Finn gave Rachel his usual pep talk like he always does. Except this time there was a giant elephant in the room. Usually they would let themselves be sad but always knew they would try again. It used to be just a temporary feeling until they hit the next cycle and tried again. Where do they go from here? He knows they still want children, but what avenue are they willing to take?
"Hey why don't we make plans tonight? We can order in and I'll watch any girly movie you want. Sound good?"
Rachel gave him a small smile. "Sure. That's sounds nice".
Finn gave her a quick peck on the lips as Rachel headed to the shower. He tried to pretend that she wasn't crying as she stepped into the shower.
Rachel walked into the Dr.'s office to get her blood drawn. She tried not to stare at all of the pregnant women in the waiting room. Rachel knows she's jealous, but she also knows it's not the fault of the other women that she can't get pregnant. Still, she can't bear to look up from her phone as she waits. Just then a text comes through from Finn. I just want you to know that I love you. Perfect timing as always.
"Rachel Hudson!" the nurse shouted. She began her walk of shame back to the lab. She doesn't even speak to the nurse drawing her blood. After she's done, Rachel raced through the waiting room and ran to her car. She slammed the door, placed her head on the steering wheel, and cried. "That was it. You're done". Everything was so final. Should they try again? Probably not.
As she drove to her first appointment of the day with the Millers, she can't help but reflect on the situation at hand. She and Finn had it all. They owned an adorable house in Cincinnati that most couples would dream of owning. They bought it just after their wedding 8 years ago. 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, and a huge back yard for the kids to play in. Except the kids never came. They now own Hudson Properties as a husband and wife Real Estate team and have been rated one of the top agencies in the Cincinnati area. They're happy. They've always been happy with just a little tug at their hearts reminding them of what's missing.
After Rachel finished showing the Millers the two homes, she drove around the city looking at a few new listings before heading home. As she pulled into the driveway she saw Finn's red truck already parked there. She was glad he was here. She really needed a hug.
Rachel gathered her things and headed into the house. She smiled as she saw Finn in the living room with their Thai takeout set on top of blankets on the living room floor. He had set up an indoor picnic. This used to be a special thing they would do when they needed time together. They hadn't had one in a very long time, especially since their lives started revolving around getting pregnant.
"Hey!" Finn smiled as he saw her walk in. "I thought you could use an indoor picnic tonight. We need to spend some quality time together and I ordered your favorite." Finn knows they need this. They need to refocus and move forward. He just isn't sure what moving forward meant right now.
Rachel smiles back. "You are so sweet. We haven't had an indoor picnic in years". Rachel joined him on the blanket and picked up her dinner. "So how was your day today? How were your meetings?"
"I don't really want to talk about work Rachel. My meetings were fine and I'm sure yours were too. I mean, are we going to talk about Yesterday? Did they call about your blood test?" Finn asked.
Rachel avoids making eye contact with Finn. She hated how he always is ready to talk about this and she wants to pretend it's not happening. As she stared up to the ceiling she replies "Yes. They called on my drive home and confirmed that I am not pregnant. The nurse told me we can make an appointment with the Dr. again if we want to start another round of egg retrieval and start over". At this point she started tearing up because she knows they've discussed this. She knows they agreed to be done. Even the doctors told them that if it didn't work this round that maybe it would be time to explore other options. "It's just….. I don't want to admit this is it you know? How can our dream be over?"
Finn lets out a huge sigh. "Rachel it doesn't have to be over. Maybe it's going to change a little bit, but we can still have a family. I still think we would make kick ass parent's right?" He smiled at her and managed to get a small laugh back. Finn reached across and grabbed her hands. Rachel finally looked him in the eye. "Rachel this part may be over, but there is still a little boy or girl out there who needs a family. Somewhere they are waiting for us. We just have to find them".
Rachel burst into tears. Finn held out his arms as she slowly crawled into his lap. Finn wrapped his arms around her, making her feel safe. Loved. He's right. This sucks but it's not the end. It's not like they never talked about adoption before. It's just never been the ONLY option available. Adoption was always the backup, just never really thought about as the reality. "You are right. Our family may not come to us the conventional way, but we can still have it. ".
She nuzzles into his chest and he rests his head on top of hers, giving her a gentle kiss. "I just want to take some time Finn. I can't deal with any of this right now. I need time to mourn what could have been before I can move onto something else. Do you understand?" she asked.
"Yes. I agree we shouldn't rush into anything else right now. Just let me know when you're ready and we'll go from there. I just love you ok? I don't want to see you hurting anymore. Us hurting anymore. There is joy out there for us somewhere I know it." Finn turned Rachel around to face him once again. "Rachel we will be okay. I know we will. Someday this house will be filled with the kids that we have always wanted". All Rachel could do was nod in agreement.
"Am I a bad person for being sad about the fact that I won't ever see a little version of you running around here?" Rachel asks. "I mean, ever since I met you back in College I have always wanted a little boy who looked just liked you. Quirky smile and all." The tears started to fall again. "I'm sorry. I've cried enough for the both of us over the past six years".
Finn hadn't thought of that. Honestly he was sad about that too. "Rachel I always wanted a little mini version of you that had me wrapped around her little finger. I think it' fine if we are sad about that. We never thought that we wouldn't have that you know? We've made it this far. We can make it through the next steps too. Life has thrown us some major curveballs, but we've managed. "
"Something has to go our way soon right? Years of bad luck have to end sometime. I'd like to give us some time to process all of this and then start pursuing some adoption avenues. "Rachel stopped and stared at Finn, trying to read his face.
"I think that's a great idea" he smiled in return. "In a way I think it's kind of exciting to think that there is a little boy or girl out there just waiting to be loved by us. It's going to be awesome I promise."
Rachel leaned over to give him a soft kiss. She loves this man. He had gotten her through so much and here he is again just always saying the right thing. Rachel had a sense of relief wash over her. The pressure was off of her and her body needing to perform. No more needles, no more tests. Now they can be hopeful towards something new. Something that will most likely happen.
Later that night while Finn lay sleeping next to her, Rachel was restless. Her mind was racing. Finn's words echoed in her mind… "We just have to find them" he said. How do we find them? How do we go about things now? How long will this take? So many questions. It was 1 am and there was no sleep in sight for her.
Giving up on trying to rest, Rachel wandered downstairs to the office and opened her laptop. She knows she should give herself time, but curiosity is getting the best of her. She needed something to distract her right?
She opened up the browser to Google. Rachel reluctantly typed in DOMESTIC ADOPTION OHIO. She and Finn hadn't really discussed which adoption route they would want to take, but you have to start somewhere. The first site that pops up is from the Ohio state Foster Care agency. "Adoption 101-Where do I begin?"
"Well here goes nothing" she sighs. Then she clicks.
Thanks so much for reading and welcome to my new story I don't own Rachel, Finn, or any glee characters. I do however own future characters to come.