Coming Out
"I'm tired of this," Blaise murmured, rubbing his face and looking at Seamus pleadingly. "I'm tired of discussing this with you over and over again."
Seamus' face hardened and he frowned, staring down at his feet as he avoided looking at Blaise. "Then don't."
Blaise heaved a sigh and got up to sit next to Seamus, rubbing his back. "Why can't we just do it?" he asked softly, resting his chin on Seamus' shoulder. "We've been together for half a year. I gave up so much for you, why can't you do this tiny, little thing for me?"
At that, Seamus' head shot up and he narrowed his eyes at him, standing up abruptly. "Tiny, little thing? This tiny, little thing?" he asked incredulously. "How can you call this a tiny, little thing? Do you remember how difficult it was for you to stop shagging half of Hogwarts to be with me instead? Can you? How can you expect me to 'just do it' when you took so long to admit to yourself that you're in love with me? Seriously, Blaise, how?"
Blaise lowered his head and stared at the floor. "I just don't get it. You love me. You tell me every day. Why can't we show everyone? Why do you insist on hiding?"
"Because I'm not ready," Seamus sighed patiently, having explained this to Blaise about a hundred times. "I need time. This…being gay thing is a big deal for me. You've known that you liked boys since you were twelve; I've known for exactly eight months. Why can't you understand that I just need a little longer?"
He flopped down on Blaise's lap and wrapped his arms around him. "We will do it," he said softly. "Soon. Just… not yet. Please, be patient."
Blaise took a deep breath and met Seamus' eyes. "I don't know if I can."
"What do you mean, you don't know if you can?"
Blaise shrugged and avoided his boyfriend's eyes while Seamus narrowed his in suspicion. "Why is this so important to you?"
"Because I fucking love you," Blaise snapped. "I showed you that iI/i love you. I gave up my former life for you, so why can't you just do this for me? Why? If you don't want to come out today, I…I…"
"You what?" Seamus asked quietly, getting up.
Blaise shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know if this even makes sense if you don't actually want to be with me."
Seamus laughed. "What? You want to break up with me over this?"
Blaise glanced up. "I don't want to, Seamus. But we've been talking about this for three months and…I can't go on like this. I want to be able to hold your hand and kiss you whenever the bloody hell I want. I'm tired of hiding."
"And you would break up with me because of this?"
Blaise was silent and looked into his eyes. But he didn't need to say anything because Seamus understood.