Disclaimer: I don't own anything related with or to Supernatural; like characters, etc. I am just a fan of the show and actors.

Pairing:

Dean and Cas

Summary: Blood dripped slowly down the side of his face as his tears hit the asphalt and he looked at the baby in his arms while he whispered the words "I can't" like a mantra.

Ps: This is AU. With non hunter Winchesters but has a little bit of canon.

Cas has basically raised his niece, Claire own his own since she was a baby.

Jimmy died a month after she was born and Amelia bailed.

They had been sixteen when she got pregnant and he died but she didn't want to give her baby up for adoption.

So she entrusted her to the one man in her life besides her late husband who loved her unconditionally yet in a more 'siblings' manner, his twin brother Castiel.

Pebbles

It had been 3:15 a.m. exactly when Amelia Novak's phone rang loudly. She woke up quickly then glared at the clock as she hugged the blankets closers to her body.

After another string of ringing was heard all of her wrath was focused on a new target, her phone.

She didn't answer on the first ring but picked up on the second just because she didn't want the persistent noise to awaken her sleeping baby.

Tone of voice a mix of exhausted and irritated, she spoke.

"Hello. Who is this. More importantly, have you noticed the time? Some people have to get up early to work in the morning."

As she spoke into her phone she sat up on her bed slightly while waiting a second for a reply before deciding to hang up on the stranger if they didn't answer her questions quickly enough.

The man on the other side of the line replied with a standard line but there was something.

It laced his words, was it sorrow? As he spoke quietly.

"I'm with Pontiac's sheriff's department." He paused for a second then continued solemnly.

"Sorry ma'am but are you by chance, the next of kin or spouse of a man named James Novak? You were the first person on his speed-dial list, your name is Ames?"

The sleepiness left her eyes as she franticly spoke and practicly jumped off the bed then put on her slippers as she quickly turned on a lamp switch.

"My name's Amelia but James always calls me Ames. Jimmy's my husband. What, where is he? Is he okay..."

She looked for her car keys as she spoke up a bit while thinking she would have to pick him up or something.

Maybe he got a flat tire and was stranded on the side of the road but he would have called so that wasn't it.

Then it was like a light bulb flickered to life in her brain and her eyes narrowed slightly but of their own accord.

"Wait, did you arrest him again because he's out drinking with those Winchester boys and Cas." Amelia gave a humorless chuckle then put her hair up in a bun and spoke in a pissed of tone.

"He promised he wouldn't do that again, uh let me talk to him and I'll pay his bail. Although with his behavior I might as well let him spend the night in a cell. I'd serve him right for being a liar."

The next words she heard shattered her whole world completely and her phone slipped from her grasp as so many emotions hit her at once.

"Ma'am there was an accident a few blocks away from your home, according to his state ID. We need someone to come down to the hospital to identify the body. I'm so sorry for your loss."

Someone in the background probably a sheriff said the words. "Maybe there is someone else who could come down?"

James Novak had died a month after his daughter Clair was born and Amelia didn't know how to handle the void he left.

Three days after Jimmy's death. A funeral service was held somewhere outside of Pontiac, Illinois because that's where his father Gregory is buried.

He died of a severe heart attack when James and Castiel had been seven years old.

They learned from their father earlier that day that their mother wouldn't be around anymore because she had run off with a some guy who usually played the piano at church.

"I feel your pain."

He didn't know what else to say or how to say it and honestly he didn't feel like talking but Amelia had to know that he was here for her and Claire.

Amelia looked Cas in the eyes as he whispered the words and she hugged him tightly while crying for his brother.

"He is my one and only. Oh God, you want to know what the last words I said to him were?"

She backed up a bit but didn't meet his eyes as she spoke quietly while recalling the memory.

.

"Maybe I made a mistake when I married you." She tried and failed to hold back from laughing or keeping a serious face as he passed her a stack of freshly made french toast.

Weeks of eating just ramen and Chinese takeout had taken it's toll and they were ready for a change.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow in mock hurt but kissed her forehead quickly then spoke while getting the syrup bottle and some forks then handing her one as she gave him a cup full of icy cold milk.

"I'll never be as rich as some of your friends or be as likable and I'm uncertain about a lot of things since I'm not that smart. But here are a few things I do know."

Amelia took a bite as he spoke. "Asking you out and making you my wife have been some of the best decisions of my life."

"Hmm just making sure you won't cheat on me with the first pretty girl that walks your way."

"Ames, I love you more each day and honestly I don't think I'll ever be able to stop even if I try repeatedly. Thanks to you and Clair, I am the happiest man in existance."

She blushed slightly then kissed him deeply but stopped when she heard Claire crying so she stood up and got a bottle as Jimmy looked at his phone and cursed as he moved towards the door.

"Oh fuck I'm late for work, I'll call you at lunch. I hope Cas is covering for me, he owes me big-time."

She gave him a half smile then said words she would never be able to take back. "Come back to me before twelve or I won't love you anymore."

He smiled then touched her face lightly as he whispered the word 'promise'.

If anyone had witnessed the moment they would say it seemed almost as if time had stopped just for them.

So that they could memorize their soul-mates features even though they already had or maybe it was a final goodbye.

One without the need for words because they would never be enough, nothing would.

.

"Castiel, I have a favor to ask of you. It is more of a request and one I would ask of no one else."

Dean had overheard some of her words and looked at Cas then Amelia for a second as Cas replied with a simple word that was anything but.

"Anything"

She took a shaky breath as a few tears rolled down her cheeks and she bit her lower lip to try and stifle a sob.

"I need to find myself."

M note : I blame my friends; Asael and Jacob for this, they are two guys I know from when I was in high school a town over.

We were eating lunch togther the other day and talking about what we've been up to. Mainly work, problems, family, other friends etc.

It was great seeing them again after years of y'know not.

As I unlocked the door to my house this idea took me by surprise so I jotted most of it down but I think I threw it away or something. The thing is idk where the paper's at.

Anyway I really wanted to do this but add something more realistic and personal, more I can't think of a word but it has to do with experience... I'm probably not making sense.