Disclaimer: Anna and the king isn't mine. This is purely fan fiction and is based from the film, not real life.
Your Majesty, My Love
Anna looked at the young prince. Her first pupil.
She felt now as if the day had come too soon. She didn't want to say goodbye. But in her heart she knew it was for the best. If she didn't then she wouldn't be doing it. She knew she had to leave. Not that Louis liked that decisions. Just like her he had rather fallen in love with Siam. He was settled and he had friends. If it had only been the country she had fallen for then they could stay. But it wasn't to be. She could not stay whilst she loved the king. Not like she did. As a man loved a woman. Not as a subject loved her monarch. Not it was too personal between them. And they couldn't live side by side and yet not have one another. It was torture for them both. Physically and mentally. Eventually if she stayed then it would destroy the love they had for each other. And it was so pure. She didn't want to wreck it.
"I shall miss you your highness." she said to him. He had something about him he didn't have on there first morning in class when he had fought with Louis. Maturity. She had seen him grow into a young man from a boy. She would so miss him.
"As I you mem. Must you leave me, my brothers and sisters? Your very good teacher mem." he said to her. He wanted her to stay and carry on teaching.
"I shall treasure that compliment." she said to him gently. "But yes. Louis and I must go." she said to her son who stood at her side, quietly.
The boys had grown rather fond of one another after their bad start. "You'll be a great king. Siam will be lucky to have such a ruler. Of that I am certain." she said, and dared to move forward to kiss his highness on the head. The boy leant into her and permitted her the affectionate goodbye.
He would so miss her.
"Goodbye, my prince."
"Goodbye, beloved Mem." he replied. Anna felt tears begin in her eyes, so to disguise it she turned to Louis.
"You say goodbye to the prince while I bid farewell to Lady Thiang." she said to Louis and left them alone. She had a felling they'd miss each other.
The two women faced each other sadly. They had become friends. She would miss lady Thiang. She had such grace about her. She was so elegant. And brave to. To be Head wife. And she had lost her beloved daughter not so long ago.
"It is so sad to think you won't be here each day Mrs Leonowens." she said to her.
"I can barely believe it is my time to leave either. But sometimes fate deals us a cruel card." she said to her.
"Well all I can do is say I hope it deals you fairer ones in the future. And the winds blow you back to our country. We are all so fond of you." she said reaching out to Anna and taking her hand. "Write to us."
"I will your majesty." she said.
The two were over come by emotion and Anna felt herself reach out to hold the great Lady. A bitter tear stun g her eye.
Siam had become part of her. She had changed in the time she had been there. She felt younger than she had when she arrived. She had lost Tom and she had been devastated by that blow. But somehow being there had made it easier. It had healed her. And when she was close to the king…
When she pulled back she looked at her one last time.
"You'll not be forgotten Anna. What you have done for us," she said and the English women nodded.
No words were needed. Her expression said it all. She didn't know how Lady Thiang was so accepting of her. She must know how she felt for her husband. And yet she had embraced her as a sister.
"Louis…" she said looking over her shoulder. The boy was in tears. She put her arm round him as he walked over to her.
The young prince stood at his mother's side. He wasn't crying, but he was solemn.
"Mother, they will visit wont they?" the prince asked.
"We can only hope."
But they both knew by the look on Anna's face they were not going to be back.
"Come on darling," said Anna to Louis. She felt as if she might cry. And she had not said the hardest good bye yet.
They began the walk out of the royal household's garden for the last time. Anna looked at the school mournfully. She would be taking some very good memories with her when she left.
Very good indeed.
She didn't want to miss a thing she felt as she walked through the gardens holding her boys hand. She had been struck by their beauty when she had seen them first and she still was.
Louis thought about begging his mother one last time. Stay. Why couldn't they stay?
But he thought better of it. When his mother had set her mind on something it was hard to change it.
When they walked in to the great hall they saw only the king. He was going to say goodbye to them on his own. On approaching him, Anna curtseyed and Louis bowed.
"Your majesty." said Anna.
King Mongkut looked at her with such sorrow in his eyes. He had been putting off thinking about that day and yet it had come none the less.
"So you must take your leave of Siam?" he asked.
"Yes." she nodded.
She was a vision of beauty he thought. She had stuck out like a sore thumb all the time she had been in his land. With her dresses, and her long blonde tied back in an elegant bun. Her bonnet always tied about her head. But she had left it off that day. It was so hot she had not yet put her clock on. She stood before him in her blue dress, looking stunning. He would never forget
"I regret your having to leave."
"So do I." she said to him. "Louis…" she motioned to the son. He must say goodbye also.
"Thank you your majesty, for the kindness you have shown to my mother and I." he said to the king.
"No Louis I thank you for the memories. Take care of your mother once you have left this land. She needs taking care of though I think she will never admit it." he said to the boy, the last sentence quieter, as if his mother couldn't hear it. Anna chuckled as he showed such kindness towards her son. He had a real fondness for the excitable English boy.
"I will your majesty." he said bowing again.
"Louis wait for me outside." his mother said to him.
He nodded, walked down the hall and out the doors. They shut behind him.
Anna and the king were alone.
She felt her heart rise in her chest. Tears filled her eyes before she could get anything out. How could she say what she wanted too? Needed too. He had to know. But surely he must already.
"I - " she begun. "I thank you your majesty. For everything. Every memory, every kind act and every joy you have given me." she said to him. They would be we what she treasured.
She turned from him to look about the hall. It was exquisite. She had always known it but why did she see it so clearly on the day she had to walk out for the last time. She didn't know. She smiled and felt as if her entire life had been leading to that moment, in that hall of gold. With the king whom she would always adore.
"It was here I saw you for the first time, do you remember?" she recalled. A smile spread over her face. It was a real one, it didn't need forcing. She was happy to recall the good times. Even if there hadn't seemed good at the time. She appreciated it now. It was something else to make her smile.
"After I'd kept you waiting for three weeks," he nodded.
"I thought you were impertinent," she admitted to him. "Forgive me." she pleaded.
"There is nothing to forgive Anna. I was rude." he admitted.
"I thought men never said sorry to women here." she mocked, recalling what she had been told by the prince in the very first lesson she had taken.
"I did not say sorry. Only admitted the fault."
Even at that moment they were sparing.
She shook her head.
She wanted that moment to last their whole life. Life long just as their love would be.
A tear fell down her face.
For a moment she didn't remember why she was leaving him. She couldn't recall a good enough reason. If she loved him, why didn't she stay and love him forever? Surely that would be the right thing to do? But then maybe not… they were too different. There lives were too different. They were worlds apart.
"Thank you for the dance." she said to him. She had to say something. And she never had told him how much she had enjoyed it. Not really.
She had danced with a king. And she had felt every inch his queen for that night. Just one night. It had been that night when she had fell in love. When she had known she had changed. She hadn't let go of Tom but that hadn't stopped her embracing the king.
"The pleasure belongs to me." he shook his head. She was one in a million. Unique. He knew he could walk the earth for a hundred years. There would never been another Anna. Not like his.
"Does it?" she smiled.
"Yes" he nodded. "Anna…every dance was worth a lifetime's wait." he felt more emotional than he had since his monkey had died. The princess would be sad to see the teacher go he thought. She had loved her. Maybe if Fa-Ying had lived things might have been different. She had been so full or life and mischief. She had been his sun. The brightest of his hopes, except the prince himself. She had been the one he had doted upon. His baby. If she had lived maybe he wouldn't have grown to feel what he had for Anna. And maybe she might stay.
But things weren't different. And he knew that was a lie he was trying to tell himself. He had fallen in love with Anna on the night they had waltz. That had been when the princess was alive.
"They really were," she agreed. He had left his mark on her. He hadn't bruised her heart at all. But he was imprinted on it. Always would be. The mark would never leave her, just like the memories of Siam.
"I wish I could've had one more." he admitted to her. To hold her close to him one last time. To dance with her. To smile and laugh.
"If we were to dance again I couldn't leave. I couldn't walk out afterwards. And I have to your majesty." she shrugged as she cried. She knew she had to go. Everything they had been thought together….
"Why?" he said frustrated. He didn't want her to go. She was his equal. The one he could talk too. The one he admired. The only women, nigh the only person in the world who could chaste him without fear. The only one who he knew was truly herself in his presence. She was honest. And he didn't want to lose her. Not for the world. In that split second, if she had asked he would have given his throne up to have her. He felt such desire.
"Because I love you." she whispered.
He looked at her in shock. It had been every day implied but never confirmed. Till now.
"Once again I believe your majesty must grant me forgiveness. I, as usual, have been too bold. But I don't regret telling you. You once asked me always to tell you what I think. Tell you the truth. If I had sailed away without stating my affection clearly for you I would have regretted it all my days. I needed you to know. For my own peace of mind." she said to him. Another tears cascaded on to her cheek. She made no effort to brush it away. "You brought me back to life your majesty. I was lost after Tom and you found me." she said. After her husband death she had thought she could never feel for another man. But the king had changed that. He had changed her. And what he had done for her was near a miracle. She had once told Louis people feared him as a god. And only gods could work miracles. So maybe they had been right about him all along.
"Well you repaid that debt." he said thinking of how she had been with him at his daughters side. The grief he had felt for his princess had been unbearable. But Anna had got him through.
"I believe those who love us never leave us. That is what Siam has taught me. As well as, - the fact the heart can't be told. Wrong can be right. And right can be wrong. We don't have to understand. we just have to respect, and be willing to trust." she said to him. Tuptim had shown her that. She had loved someone she should not have. But she was so sure Balat had been for her. For her it had been right.
"I am glad my people and I have taught you such a lesson. But I thought you were the school teacher."
She smiled. "You never stop learning. No matter your profession, no matter your age."
"Yes. And that mem - my dear Anna, is the lesson you taught me." he told her. A tear fell from her eye again.
He moved closer. Putting his hand on her cheek, he wiped away her tears, just as he had when they had been in fear of losing there lives and she caught her breathe in her chest.
"There's no way is there. That we can be together. Just me and you." she asked.
"No. My wives need me, as do my children. Siam needs me."
"I know that. And I wouldn't want you to leave them. They're wonderful, as is the country. I am just being selfish. I have Louis to consider as well. I just -"
"I know Anna," he said, stopping her babble. "If things were different - but life's can't be lived by what's ifs, and maybes, perhaps. Our lives can't. As a king I must live for my people. But as man, I will always live off of your love, and our memories. Memories of Us." he stroked her check again. "Anna - I will always feel the deepest emotion for you. You' always be in my heart. I will love you until the trees stop growing and the wind stops blowing."
A sob escaped her month. She had herself a promise that morning, he wouldn't see her cry for him. But it seemed she had broken that promise.
"Always Anna. My Anna." he said as he reached out for her and pulled her close.
She clung for him for a moment and she sobbed against this chest. She couldn't bare to lose another man she so loved. But maybe they would never truly be apart. Her head lay squarely on his chest and he breathed in everything about her, every scent. He drunk in her image. She was part of his life that would be remembered as the happiest.
She had opened his heart. Taught him western ideas that had enriched him. Just as he had given her the best of the eastern culture. But the gap was still too big to truly breach.
Turning her face upwards he looked in to her eyes. So blue, deep like the sea. As endless as the sky. He would always see her when he looked at the sea and sky. She'd always be there.
"Just once. Let me kiss you." he pleased, whispering as if they were not alone but in a huge crowd.
She nodded, longing for him. She longed for everything about him.
He placed his lips on hers and lingered, whilst warmth flowed between them. He had never kissed a school teacher before.
Nor her a king.
With there forehead placed firmly together, the lips broke apart.
"I go from this place, but I leave my heart with you." she said to him.
Then she did something which caused her more pain than anything else that day. She stopped back.
"I shall then take good care of it." he whispered to her.
She bowed low.
Rising back up she looked at him one last time.
Breathing deeply she turned knowing she would never forget him. Even if at times it hurt to remember.
She begun to walk away down the hall, as Louis had done not so long before her. The right thing hurt at times. But she had to live with that. She had let herself fall for him. And now she had to take herself away. Kings were above the rest of them she now realized. They had real responsibilities. And Siam needed him more than she did. Not the other way round.
"In the next life Anna," she heard him saying, though she felt it was a dream. "I'll find you. Swim the seas, walk through fire. But I'll find you, get back to you. And I won't let you leave me next time."
She nodded. She wasn't sure she he had even said it. But she knew it was the truth. Their parting wasn't forever.
With that thought comforting her, she walked out to find her son.
They weren't going to ever be apart, not really. And then one day, when she was least expecting it, she'd wake in the arms of her king. And she'd be his one and only. She'd be enough for him.
And then, nothing would tear them apart. Louis, the princes and princesses would be with them.
They'd be one.
The things we lose have a strange way of coming back to us. But that's how we know there ours, and meant to be.
It was sat that moment she pined pointed what the king had done for her. He'd taught her how to hope again.
That hope would give her life for the rest of her days.
"Until we met again, goodbye, your majesty. My love."