Forever and Forbidden
Yes, I'm back again. I know in the past I have yet to finish a single story I have started, save for a couple. I also know that because of that most of my readers have left me because I have yet to finish a single story. I doubt I'll even finish this one. I know most people hate me for never finishing a single story I've started. It's just that, things in my life change, and most of the time I write these stories and base them off some part of my life. The one about the Haruka Caravan? Aria Sol's best friend and love interest, was based on my boyfriend at the time, Nic. He even had his name in the character's name. Well, I lost interest in Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles, and then some time later Nic broke up with me. Another example is the All's Fair in Love and War Series, that was based on a role play that me and a friend did. We eventually lost interest in the game, and stopped role playing. Now I have an unfinished story. So you see, things in my life have and will change, and I might never get around to finishing a story. This story is no different. BUT, just because it's not finished, doesn't mean it won't be good. I might never finish the story, but it will be the best damn unfinished story about Anna Blue and Damien Dawn there ever was! Granted there's only one other story about them and it's also unfinished, mine will still be better. Enough of that though, it's time to get on with the story. AND NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, I PRESENT TO YOU... FOREVER AND FORBIDDEN!
Darkness is the complete absence of light; the absence of happiness and joy. Everyone is filled with darkness; some more than others. I've suffered years of bullying and beatings from everyone around me. I used to be a happy and joyful child; eventually the abuse altered me to my current self. I wear no bright colors; I wasn't meant for them. No matter what I did, no matter what I said, I always suffered beatings every day. My parent's died when I was a young; shot dead by some crook that was robbing the house. I was the only one that survived. If it hadn't been for a man that was out for a walk by our house, I would have never been found. He told the police and the orphanage that he had heard me crying and went to investigate. I was lucky. Had he not heard me, I would probably be dead by now due to starvation.
After that, when no one claimed me, I was put in an orphanage. My parents apparently didn't have any family, they were only children, and every generation before them died young. My mother and father were from similar families, both never knowing any family more than their parents, who also died sometime after they were born. They too had no one claim them, and were never adopted. Eventually making each other the other's family, and before long, I was born. I guess they were fated to the same fate as their parents. And I was fated to the same fate as them; never to be adopted. No one wanted me.
At first I was okay with that; the orphanage was pretty okay, no one was ever mean to me. And then that all changed. "Hello, my name is Dante. What's your name?" A boy said one day. "Anna…" I answered timidly. "Well Anna, how would you like to play with me and my friends?" he asked. We were young then, and not many people bullied at the orphanage, so I nodded and followed them over to where he and a few boys were playing. They were a couple years older than me, but other than that, they didn't have any advantages over me. That's when my tormenting began. It was small at first; they would just tease me and steal my dolls. I was weak, and still am, so I was an easy target for them. The adults told me that they would stop when they matured. They never did. In fact it got worse. They went from teasing and stealing one day, to beating and torturing the next. I was never left alone. They wouldn't stop. I eventually got tired of it, and tried to tell someone, but they threatened to beat me to a pulp if I said anything. So I was forced to quietly suffer their bullying day in and day out. No matter how old and mature they got, they would never cease to hurt me. I felt so alone. And then, I wasn't alone.
She was petite and small, probably the same age as I was when I first became a victim. The day she first came, I was getting a beating from the bullies, when a few of them who were watching, noticed her and left the group and went to torment her. "Hello little girl, what's your name?" Rick, one of the boys asked, similar to what Dante first asked me when all this stared. "Hazel…" She answered timidly, mirroring how I answered when I was her age. "Well Hazel, how would you like to come and play with us?" Leo, the other bully, offered. Hazel nodded and Rick snatched her doll from her. "No! Give it back! My mom gave that to me before she went to heaven!" She said as she tried to get it back. She's so innocent! I thought. They were way older than her. Sure they did the same thing to me when I was that young, but they were about the same age as me, so it didn't hurt as much as it would if they had been older than me.
Although I should have focused on trying to take as little a beating as possible, at that moment, I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was so young; so innocent. Just as Leo was about to hurt her, I cried out, "DON'T!" The bullies all turned to me, surprised. I took that moment to run over and shield her from them. They all laughed, teasing me about protecting a little girl, but I didn't care.
After they calmed down, smile mischievously, all coming to the same conclusion. Without thinking, the pulled me away from her, and restrained me. The two that were going to hurt her, looked at her like a predator would a pray. Then, Dante walked up to me, and chuckled in a way that made me shiver. They all smiled with such evil intent in their eyes. "Anna, I have an offer that I think you'll like." He said, "Me and my boys will promise not to hurt little Hazel, as long as you promise to take her place." He smiled. I wanted more than anything to protect her from their malicious ways. "What if I promise not to tell the adults about this threat?" I offered, not wanting to suffer any more than I have been, and still protect her. "Oh no, you were already going to do that, remember what we told you?" Dante taunted. It was true, I couldn't have told them about this anyway, unless I wanted to face death by beatings.
I looked at Hazel and then at the two boys next to her. She was so innocent, like I was at that age. I would have done anything to not be beaten like I was when I was here age. I also wouldn't have wanted anyone else to get hurt in place of me, and I could see Hazel felt the same way, but what could I do? They wouldn't let me live if I told anyone, and I couldn't let her take the beatings on her own. Defeated, I finally agreed. "Okay…" I said, sounding gray.
Hazel cried out. "No! Please! You don't have to protect me! You barely know me!" She yelled to me. "I know more about you than you think. My mother and father died when I was young, and no one claimed me. I never knew any family other than my parents." I told her, "From what I can tell, you didn't have a dad, and were left with only your mother. You have no family, or no one wants you, so you were brought here." I could see that I was right by the surprised expression on her face. "When they came over to you, you were curious as to what they wanted with you. You didn't see that they were beating me, and excited to have made a friend here, even if they weren't your age." She looked ashamed, for that seemed to be exactly how she felt. "And then they took your doll and you saw me getting beat and feared you would end up in the same position." I finished. She looked at me, confused as to how I knew so much about her. I've always been able to know a person's whole life story from the smallest details they give. The only problem is, I could never read Dante and figure out why he chose me to bully. I will always be left to question why they chose me, and what I could have done to change it. I didn't want Hazel to ever have to worry about that. "If there had been some way for me to have not gone through this, I may have regretted it, if it meant hurting someone else, but I would have eventually been grateful. I would have done anything to not be beating in the way I am." I told her. I turned to Dante. "I accept your deal." I finally said. Hazel cried out, "NO!" "What a touching choice. Leo, Rick, let little Hazel go." Dante ordered. "No!" She cried. I looked at her sadly and mouthed the words 'I'm sorry.' Dante's thugs took little Hazel over to the children area. I was glad they wouldn't let her watch this.
Dante was just about to walk off to let his boys beat me, when I stopped him. "Wait!" I cried. He turned around and looked at me, curious. "Let her heal me…" I said. "I'm running out of excuses, and if I keep telling the nurse that I fell or ran into something one more time, she'll get suspicious, and find out what's happening. Let Hazel heal me and I'll make sure she won't tell anyone." I told him. He looked at me skeptically, as though trying to figure out the reason behind my request. Once he was convinced I wasn't trying anything sneaky, he nodded his head. "Alright, I'll let little Hazel heal you after every beating. We can't have our precious entertainment dying after offering to protect little Hazel; she would have died for nothing." He smiled evilly. "Boys… Have fun giving Miss Anna Blue twice the beating." He smiled before turning and leaving. That night—and every night after that—I suffered worse beatings than ever before. And every night after each beating, Hazel would heal me.
Over time, the nights fell into a routine; Every night, after dinner, Dante and his boys would invite me outside by the trashcan and have his boys beat me as he watched in amusement, and every night after the beating, Hazel would get the first aid kit that the boys stole for her, out from underneath her pillow, and patch me up. Some nights, though, when Hazel's asleep, I'd go sit on the window ledge, looking out at the stars. Those nights, I'd imagine that someone was there, watching me, wanting to help me, to save me, but couldn't, for whatever reason he has. Many times I'd actually think I'd seen someone. But right as I try to see who, they seem to disappear. I blame my imagination, but somewhere, deep in the back of my mind, I hope—maybe even pray—that that's not the case. Another distant part of me thinks that, if there is someone there, it's someone I know. But the moment that feeling comes to mind, I brush it off, knowing the only person who knows me and is willing to be around me is Hazel. All the other kids just want to avoid contact with me, worrying they would end up like me or Hazel; in a world of pain or forced to keep a horrible secret from the adults. I don't blame them… I'd avoid myself too if I were them.
One night, I suddenly wanted to sing, for no reason in particular. I tried singing the only song I knew—My Immortal by Evanescence—but it wasn't the right song. I thought a moment, and suddenly a song came to me. I don't know from where, or if I've heard of it, but I knew I had to sing it. So, I did.
My face against the window pane
A tear for every drop of rain
I am so lonely and so sad
You're the reason that I'm feeling bad
I am so lonely and so sad
Living in a dream I've never had…
I didn't know where it came from, but it somehow expressed exactly how I felt. It was a song to Dante. It was a song of my life. I was so alone; my only friend being Hazel, who was years younger than me. No one my age wanted to even be near me, let alone be my friend. I decided to see where else this song would take me, so I continued to sing.
My face against the window pane
A tear for every drop of rain
I'm living like already I have died
Have died
It was true. My life had no meaning anymore. I was never adopted or saved from this hell hole. I've always been here, taking a beating day in and day out. I'm a shell of my old self. I felt no more pain, no more hate, anger, fear; not even love. All I felt was the need to protect Hazel. That's all I had left. I continued to sing.
Emptiness a present past
A silent scream to shatter glass
I have to go; it's time for me to fly
Every night, I would send a silent plea, a silent scream to be saved. And never would it be answered. I know I need to leave, but I can't. I'm a bird flying frantically in a cage. Maybe the last line meant that something good was going to happen. I didn't quite know what that was yet though. The next line I sang with true feeling, something that I had very little left of. I practically yelled it, while still keeping it a song. I was glad that Hazel was in a different wing of the building. Only ever allowed over when Dante's thugs snuck her over to cure me.
I am so lonely and so sad
You're the reason I'm feeling bad
I am so lonely and so sad
Living in a dream I've never had.
(Wake me with your kiss)
I never wanted this life; never loved being beaten. It made me feel weak, helpless. Of course when I was around Hazel, I tried my best to hide it; I didn't need her to worry or see how much I was hurting to keep her from getting beaten. The last line, again, stumped me. Maybe it was a reference to Sleeping beauty or Snow White. They both were hiding from something or someone. For Snow White, it was the evil queen; Sleeping Beauty, the evil witch who tried to kill her. And in both cases they were in danger of their lives, and both merely falling asleep from a curse or spell gone wrong. In the end of each story, however, they were all saved by the kiss of a prince; someone brave and noble. The next part I heard in my head before I sang it and it fit so well.
Who will care if I'm not here?
If suddenly I disappeared?
No one's gonna notice it at all
Dying flowers in my hand
I'm vanishing from where I stand
It isn't yet too late to get the truth
It was true; I could just run away from it all, and I wouldn't be missed. Sure the adults would call the police, and I'd be on the run until they declare me dead, but I could do it. No one knows about the beatings I go through, and I doubt Dante would be willing to give it up just so that they can find me and bring me back so he can continue to beat me. No one would find me, and no one would know why I left. There was just one problem with that plan, and I should know because I've thought out every possible scenario and how I'd get through it. The only minor, yet extremely important flaw with my plan is that I'd be throwing Hazel to the sharks. I know for a fact that once I was gone, and there was no one to take the beatings for Hazel, she'd have nowhere to run; she'd be forced to endure the same punishment I had to when I was her age, only worse because they were older than her. I bet she'd have it even worse than that because I ran away. She'd never survive. Sure I could tell her to tell someone, run to them at night and spill her heart out about all the horrible things they've done, but the adults who watch us over night, all sleep late at night in a room near the boys' rooms. If I'm going to escape, I'd have to do it when all the adult were asleep, and no doubt Dante has some of is boys watching the adults room all night in shifts, so that if either of us decide to try to tell someone, they'd be there to deliver the beating promised.
I could also try to take her with me; she wouldn't have to worry about them coming after her without me there. But there was a problem with that as well. She'd fall behind. We'd eventually get caught if I had to keep stopping for her. She's a strong girl, but no one that age has the strength to run away. Sure they have more energy, but that's because they sleep; if we ran away, she wouldn't get much of that. We'd have to watch out for each other in shifts each night, and she wouldn't be much help in protecting me from anyone looking to prey on young children; she's too young. Even if I was the only one to stay awake, it wouldn't help us if I was half asleep and leading us away from the orphanage, and also trying to steer clear of officers; we'd be caught instantly. Maybe if she were a little older, and a lot stronger, we could make it, but that wouldn't be for a while. So here we stay
I finished out my song, having only four repeats of the chorus. At the very end, I decided to add a line of my own; one last plea for help.
(Wake me with your kiss)