Author's Note: This was written for Kitsuneyujji for the 2014 Happy Trekmas Secret Santa Exchange over on LJ.

Accidentally in Love

5

Really, the only explanation that Leonard McCoy could come up with was that karma was a bitch, with a capital 'b'. This only happened in those cheesy holo videos that Jocelyn used to make him watch.

When Leonard McCoy first became friends with Jim Kirk, he knew he was in for a ride. Jim Kirk was like a drug. He would get under Leonard's skin and then dig in so deep that he became addicted. Jim Kirk was an itch that he just couldn't get rid of, and after nearly three years, Leonard wasn't sure he wanted to anymore, not until that morning.

He awoke with the worst headache he had ever experienced. Worse than the night he turned twenty-one, worse than the night Jocelyn miscarried, and worse than after he killed his daddy and was served his divorce papers.

God damn it.

He heard an equally unhappy groan next to him.

He didn't remember bringing anyone home with him. Hell, now that he thought about it. He didn't remember coming home, or almost anything after Jim Kirk beat the unbeatable Kobayashi Maru. He did remember walking into the Delta Quadrant with Jim to celebrate...

"Shit Bones!"

Only one person in the world called him that, and similarly only one person could be that unbelievably loud this early in the morning, the aforementioned Jim Kirk.

"What," he managed to cough out of his parched throat. It felt like a fuzzy animal had gone and died there. He flat out refused to turn his head. His head hurt too much, and he really couldn't deal with Jim Kirk's revelations this early in the morning.

"Are we in Neo Vegas?"

Leonard's eyelids did snap open at that.

Instead of seeing the incredibly boring and incredibly yellowish white ceiling of his Starfleet issued standard dorm room, he was bombarded with a glaringly offensive neo green ceiling. He pulled himself up slightly to see a room that looked like a stampede of wild elephants had bulldozed through and left a wake of destruction behind. He grimaced when he located his jacket, which had been haphazardly thrown on the floor. There was a nasty tear along the hemline.

"Did we…"

Leonard turned his whole body. His head felt too full and dizzy to rotate. He was greeted by Jim's 'I struck the jackpot' smirk.

"Damn it, Jim." Leonard growled out. He sank back into the bed.

Jim opened his mouth.

Whatever Jim was going to say was cut off by the simultaneous pings of their communicators. Leonard didn't even want to try to figure out where he had tossed his. Luckily he didn't have to when he felt the bed shift slightly due a change in weight.

From the corner of his eyes, Leonard saw a very naked Jim Kirk rummage through the destruction. Leonard sank deeper into the bed. His cheeks flushed red as a thousand scenarios raced through his head, each one worse than the one before.

He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.

He felt Jim slip back on the bed.

"Who is it?" Leonard's muffled out from behind his hands, not that he actually cared. He was a grown, self-sufficient man, damn it.

"Pike and Boyce…" Jim answered easily.

Great

That was just what Leonard needed. He was thirty-one-years-old, damn it. He didn't need a fucking babysitter.

"They want to see us in Pike's office in two hours." Jim tossed his communicator onto Leonard's chest. Leonard groaned as he picked it up. He snorted when he saw Jim's newest 'nickname' for Christopher Pike: 'old geezer'. In that respect, 'Bones' was a better nickname; however, he was never going to tell Jim that. Damn kid didn't need his ego inflated any further.

They dressed silently and quickly. Jim bemoaned the fact that he couldn't remember anything that had happened, but claiming whatever happened had to have been awesome.

Leonard probably should have seen the warning signs when they checked out of the room. The receptionist was a little too happy even for someone working in Neo Vegas. Leonard could recognize that smile anywhere. Jim gave it to him often, the 'I swallowed a canary' look.

The only reason he didn't was because this was Neo Vegas. It was one of the last few corners of unadulterated decadence and indecency left on Earth. The receptionist probably flashed that smile to all her patrons. For the old saying, 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' was still as true today as it was when Neo Vegas was still Las Vegas.

He couldn't believe he was even here. Jim had been trying to convince him to come for years now. He could almost picture exactly what Christopher Pike and Philip Boyce were going to say to them. Although Leonard wasn't the same kind of genius that Jim was at reading people, their advisors had to know there were in Neo Vegas. The message on their communicators couldn't have been a coincidence.

However when they did walked into Pike's office two hours and ten minutes later, because Jim wanted a butter croissant, and Leonard really didn't want to give them any satisfaction, he was completely, one hundred percent blind sighted. The 'fuck' that left Jim's lips was a clear indication that Jim hadn't expected this either.

Well damn.

As he sank into one of the chairs in Pike's office, he saw the gleam in both men's eyes. Christopher Pike was looked like a fucking, smug cat in his 'throne shaped' chair while Boyce was lazily reclining on Pike's couch in the corner.

Leonard grimaced as Pike passed them a PADD with the 'evidence'. Jim let out a low whistle.

"Really boys, Elvis impersonators?" Pike chortled. He looked like he was going to bust his gut at any moment from trying not to laugh.

Twenty minutes later, they walked out of Pike's office with two bruised egos, and a PADD full of 'memories' that Leonard was determined to 'burn' the moment he got his hands on the PADD.

"Keep the ring, Bones." Jim flashed him a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. It was only then that Leonard noticed the too small academy ring on his ring finger. Jim waved once before disappearing into the crowd.

"Infant," Leonard muttered, not unkindly. Leonard shook his head in exasperation as he moved the ring from his ring finger to his pinky.

Unfortunately, that wouldn't be the only time Leonard McCoy would have to file Starfleet's Marriage Annulment Form 0214.A1.