This idea has been suggested to me courtesy of I'll Cover Angel and Collins and I knew from that point onwards I needed to write this story. This is set a few years after the climax of Total Drama. So here it is.
WARNING: Some scenes may give you nightmares, and some of the characters are OOC.
My Big Fat Creepy Roommate
Owen-ly One Option
Justin returned home from the studio, crying his eyes dry. His mam heard him coming in the front door and asked:
"Justin, why are you crying?"
"Oh Mom, it was horribly!" wailed Justin. "I was coming home from my first day of modelling at the studio from across the street when a bunch of thugs beat me up, stole my left shoe, stole my wallet and stabbed me in the right shoulder with a knife!"
"WHAT?!" shrieked Justin's mam, turning her head to see cuts, bruises and blood all over her son, who was also missing a shoe. "OH MY GOD, THIS IS HORRIBLE! YOU ARE UGLY! NEVER AGAIN WILL I BE ABLE TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF BEING THE MOTHER OF A SEXY BEAST! YOU'RE UGLY! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU FREAK!"
"FINE!" sobbed Justin, angry with his mam for being a bitch. "Just let me get my stuff!"
"You have ten minutes!" his mother snarled. "Then I want you gone and out of my life! Is this how you repay me after everything I've done for you?!"
Justin ignored her and went upstairs to get his stuff. He packed his clothes, his make-up, his grooming supplies, his shower gel, his shampoo, his conditioner, his shoes, C$150,000 which he kept in his safe, his spare ID card and passport, a first aid kit, his car keys, his mobile phone, his charger and, of course, his mirror. After putting bandages, plasters and cream on his wounds, he proceeded to stuff his items all into two suitcases and heaved them down the long staircase towards the front door. It was hot, heavy work, as he was used to having his maids carry his luggage for him. But Justin didn't care. He was ugly and his parents hate him now, so there's nothing left to live for. Sure, he could commit hara-kiri, but what if he survived? He'd be in a huge mess, and Justin didn't want to chance it.
As Justin was dragging his suitcases on the streets of Vancouver, British Columbia, he stopped when he noticed a poster on a lamppost. It was advertising accommodation at a luxury apartment block close to the beach. According to the poster, benefits that came with living in one of the apartments were free Wi-Fi, satellite TV, weekly refuse collection, maintenance, free use of the laundry room in the basement, electricity, heat, running water, free parking, direct mail from the postman, an outdoor swimming pool and scenic views of the beach. The location was also great, as the apartment block was near shops, a post-office, a park, the beach and best of all, a beauty spa. But the best part was that the rent was only C$500 a month. Justin smiled as he stuffed his luggage in the boot of his car (which he accidentally left in the car park the day before while going shopping), hopped in the driver's seat and drove off. Things were finally looking up for the former model.
Justin pulled into the car park outside the apartment block and climbed out of his car. He was so happy he hardly noticed the blood and guts on the wheels of his car. You see, Justin was so used to being chauffeured he could hardly remember how to drive. He was so terrible at it; he drove through several buildings and public gardens, and ran over around twenty-something police officers. Because the police officers were assholes, nobody cared, so Justin would've gotten away with it anyway.
So anyway, Justin pulled his luggage out of the boot and went up to a booth where an intern stood and asked if there were any accommodation available.
"We're sorry, but all of the apartments are full," the intern replied, bouncing up and down because he desperately needed to go to the toilet.
"Do you even know who I am?!" demanded Justin.
"Yes, you're Justin from Total Drama!" the intern groaned, rolling his eyes and jumping up and down at the same time. "The same show I was an intern of, where Chris treated me like shit! Now he's forcing me to work here for the rest of my life! Basically, I'm not his intern! I'm his slave!"
"Wait a minute?" Justin paused. "Does Chris own his place?!"
"As a matter of fact, he does," the intern replied. "In fact, you are the only former contestant who does not live here."
"Then you got to let me live here!" Justin begged. "I'll even share accommodation if I have to!"
"Fine," the intern sighed. He knew when he was beaten. "Hey Millicent! Will you cover for me while I find someone willing to share accommodation with Justin and while I'm going to the bathroom afterwards?!"
"Actually, I'll show him around, Kim," Millicent, the other intern, offered.
"But I have to go to the bathroom!" the intern in the booth, Kim, protested. Millicent ignored him and took Justin's luggage. Justin, who was unnerved by the inappropriate given names for the interns, followed the intern into the building and was like:
"So is this place good?"
"Not for us," Millicent grunted. "But for the former co-hosts and stars of Total Drama, yes; this place is paradise."
"So where am I staying?" Justin wondered.
"We'll have to find someone who's willing to share accommodation with you first," said Millicent. He stopped at a door and knocked on it. Courtney answered the door. She was wearing a purple bathrobe and purple rabbit slippers. She was also sweating.
"F*** off, Millicent!" barked Courtney. "I don't know what you want, but I don't care! Get out and leave me alone!"
"But-" the intern protested.
"PISS OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" Courtney roared, slamming the door in the intern's face. Millicent sighed and said:
"Well I guess that's one apartment ruled out. Let's try next door, shall we?" Millicent went up to another door and knocked on it. There was no answer.
"Who lives there?" asked Justin.
"Gwen," Millicent replied. Then he realised something. "Actually, I don't think it would be wise to ask if she's willing to share accommodation with you"
Justin raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Justin, did you blackmail her, manipulate your gullible teammates into ganging up on Gwen with you, trap her into encouraging your team to vote Trent out and forcing her into voting herself out in the following challenge at the beginning of Total Drama Action?"
"Yeah, I suppose her reaction would be similar to Courtney's," Justin sighed. "But Courtney treated her even worse in Total Drama World Tour than I did in Total Drama Action? Why is Gwen living next door to her?"
"I suppose she prefers to keep her enemies closer, and so too does Courtney, I guess," Millicent informed the former model. "Speaking of which, don't waste your time with Beth either. She regrets taking your side of the story back when Gwen broke up with Trent, voting against Izzy just for saying you're not hot enough and overall being associated with you. Don't even be surprised if she were to kick you in the balls." Justin sighed as he and Millicent continued their quest.
Meanwhile, in Courtney's apartment, Courtney enters her bedroom, which has a warm, glowing atmosphere of lavender red. Courtney gently closes the door behind her and strips out of her bathrobe, revealing a lilac bikini bottom and bra.
"So where were we?" Courtney asked seductively.
"Getting right down to business," Gwen, who was donning a midnight blue bra and bikini bottom and was lying stretched across Courtney's bed, replied, also in a seductive tone. Courtney grinned as she climbed back onto Gwen and they resumed making out.
Unfortunately for Justin, Courtney, Gwen and Beth were not the only ones who turned down the model's request to share accommodation. Bridgette and Geoff, who were engaged, certainly weren't going to let another adult move in with them. Being a couple was also the reason why Mike and Zoey, Alejandro and Heather, Sam and Dakota and Noah and Cody were having none of it. Besides, none of these couples liked Justin anyway, especially Noah and Cody, considering that Noah threatened to shoot Justin with an M1911 pistol if he didn't leave within five seconds. That surprised neither Justin nor Millicent.
However, it was not just the couples who refused to let Justin into their apartments. Eva nearly massacred Justin and Millicent when they interrupted her boxing session. Ezekiel was literally stating the word 'no' when he bit Justin's left arm. LeShawna slammed the door in Justin's face; obviously having remembered his actions on Total Drama Action. Brick refused to share accommodation with a lazybones, especially a lazybones like Justin. Lightning didn't want to share an apartment with a girl (and he mentally believes that Justin is a girl because of his effeminate mannerisms). Duncan simply punched Justin in the face just for opening his mouth. DJ told Justin that it went against every moral fibre in his body to permit a backstabber to be his roommate. If it was any consolation, he apologised for turning Justin away. Dawn said she sensed a terrible aura coming off of Justin. Cameron said he preferred to live with a schizophrenic army veteran like Chef Hatchet than with Justin.
Speaking of which, Chef Hatchet ate the face off of Justin for not standing up straight and refused to let him enter the apartment because of this, even though he was generally attracted to Justin before that awkward encounter. B simply shrugged and closed the door when Millicent asked him the question. Anne Marie sprayed the intern and the model simply because she was having her period. Scott told Justin and Millicent to f*** off and slammed the door. Katie and Sadie surprised both Justin and Millicent when they literally told Justin to "f*** off and shove (his) pretty face up his ass", adding that he was the main obstacle to their friendship and also a liar. Even Staci was repelled by the thought of living with Justin.
"Okay, so that leaves only ten people who are willing to share accommodation with you," said Millicent, knocking on a door.
"You are not knocking on the door properly, GOSH!" Harold snapped when he answered.
"Excuse me?" Justin wondered, before Millicent could stop him.
"The proper way to knock on a door is to knock on the door three times and subsequently utter the name of the person who you would prefer to answer the door, and finally repeat this process three times," Harold replied. "Has Sheldon Cooper, the main character of the series The Big Bang Theory and who is played by Jim Parsons, not taught you anything? IDIOT!"
"Please don't ask Harold a question ever again," Millicent warned Justin, who immediately regretted knocking on Harold's door. He turned to Harold and said: "Look Harold; he just needs an apartment in this block. However, since there is no empty apartment, Justin needs a roommate."
"And he wants to move in with me?" Harold finishes for Millicent. Millicent and – very reluctantly – Justin nodded. "Fair enough. But Justin must first answer this extremely easy question."
"Aw come on!" whined Justin, who hadn't a notion of answering trivial questions.
"Do you intend to share accommodation with me and thus be my roommate, or do you wish to look elsewhere, where you will experience considerably less luck with ever having a chance to live in this building?!" Harold demanded.
Justin sighed. He knew when he was beaten. "Fine. What's your riddle?"
"What word becomes longer when you remove the letter 'u'?" Harold asked.
"Um…" Justin pondered. His mind was blank. "Uh, what word becomes longer by dropping the 'u'? Hmm. I…"
"Oh my God, it's LOUNGER!" Harold snarled. "You unintelligent moron! You intellectually weak buffoon! Curse your shortage of intelligence! GOSH!" He slammed the door shut. Justin blinked his eyes and looked at Millicent oddly.
"Yeah… now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't have bothered knocking on Harold's door," the intern sheepishly stated. "You probably would have to sign some roommate agreement and abide by the terms of that agreement. Trust me: you live with him, and you would rather live with Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. You've watched The Big Bang Theory, haven't you?"
"Not really, but I'm familiar with it, though," Justin replied. "My colleagues at my modelling studio never shut up about that show."
"Watch it," Millicent advised the model. "It's probably the only way you'd get to make sense of Harold's tendencies."
"In that case, I'd better go ahead and buy all seasons of the show on Blu-ray," said Justin, rolling his eyes. Millicent nodded and knocked on a different door. Jo answered it and politely said:
"Mill Straight, what a pleasant surprise!"
"Yeah, I prefer to be called Millicent," Millicent smiled feebly. "But it's great to see you too nonetheless. I was wondering if you are willing to become roommates with Justin."
"Hmm, let me think about it, Millicent Straight," Jo said. She rubbed her right cheek with her right index finger for a couple of seconds. Then she closed the door shut and locked it.
"You interns sure have weird names," Justin interjected. "Does Chris pick them out for you guys or do you just happen to have weird parents?"
"Can we not talk about it, please?" the intern groaned as they moved further down the hall.
Justin and Millicent were screaming from the bottoms of their lungs as they scurried out of Izzy's apartment.
"THAT'S RIGHT!" Izzy roared, standing right at her door. "YOU'D BETTER RUN!" She lowered her machete and retrieved back into her apartment.
"My God, I never would've thought Izzy would try to kill me!" Justin gasped, as he and Millicent leaned against a wall so they can catch their breaths.
"What was your first clue?" Millicent demanded. "You have been high on her murder list ever since you convinced Lindsay and Beth to vote her out just because she said you weren't hot enough. She's even more dangerous with people she doesn't like when she's sexually harassing Blaineley."
"That information could have been more useful five minutes ago!" Justin growled.
"Well sorry, but I didn't think you would knock on a door even after I've specifically told you not to!" snapped Millicent, defiantly putting his hands up. He went up to another door and knocked on it nine times.
"Why did you knock on it nine times?" Justin asked.
"If I didn't knock on it nine times, Trent would kill me nine times," Millicent replied. "Or so he'd try. The last eight times would be useless, but avoid telling him that. I'm warning you: the number nine is the only thing that can save you while you're living with him."
Trent answered the door after turning nine locks and said "hello Millicent" nine times. He also said "hello Justin" nine times when he noticed Justin.
"Dude, you only had to greet us once!" Justin snapped. Trent looked at him blankly for a second. Before Justin knew it, Trent was squirming through Millicent's grip, trying to lunge for Trent.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" Trent threatened. "I'LL KILL YOU NINE TIMES AND I'LL BURY YOUR BODY NINE FEET DEEP INTO THE GROUND WHERE NO-ONE WILL FIND IT! AND WHEN I'M DONE, I WILL KILL YOUR NINE CLOSEST FAMILY MEMBERS AND I'LL KILL THEM NINE TIMES EACH! I'M ON TO YOU, NINE-HATER!"
Millicent finally found the strength to push Trent off of him, throw the musician back in his apartment and shut the door. He turned to Justin and said:
"I am really beginning to think you lack a filter between your brain and your mouth." Before Justin could say something insulting to the intern about his name, a commotion can be heard further down the hall.
"Lindsay, I am the real Tyler!" Tyler begged.
"No, I'm pretty sure you're not Tyler," said Lindsay. "This is the real Tyler," she stated, pointing at Sierra who was wearing a red tracksuit and sweatband while giving off a goofy smile. Her hair has also grown to it's full length but it wasn't dyed purple. This reveals that Sierra is naturally a brunette.
"That's Sierra disguised as me!" Tyler protested.
"No, I'm pretty sure that's Tyler," said Lindsay, dismissively, before following 'Tyler' into the apartment she shares with Sierra, prompting the real Tyler to fall to his knees and cry.
"No way," Justin chuckled. "You have got to be kidding me!"
"That's not nice, Justin," Millicent corrected him. "His girlfriend is very lost right now. This isn't helped by the fact that some creepy fan-girl is taking advantage of this."
"I thought Sierra was all over Cody," Justin said.
"Yeah, that's what Sierra, Cody and Noah want you to believe," Millicent informed Justin. "You see, they are gay and proud of it, but because Total Drama is a kids' show and the producers wanted to air the show in the States, they were feigning heterosexuality. Actually, they were taking it way too far. Sierra pretended to be obsessed with Cody and Cody pretended to be repelled by her, when in reality, they are best friends. They did have fun faking it, though."
"I can see why Noah was being an ass during the dodge-ball challenge and why Cody was hitting on Gwen so much," said Justin, rolling his eyes.
"The funny thing is: Cody forgot to inform Gwen that he was only faking being straight," said Millicent. "She therefore thought of him as a stalker until Noah told her and Duncan the truth when they moved in. By the way, Sierra is very territorial around her love interest, which is probably why she and Cody took their charade too far. So let's not ask her and Lindsay if they want to share their apartment with you."
"Okay," said Justin, shrugging. He went up to Tyler and said: "Hey Tyler, I know this is a bad time, but are you willing to be roommates with me?"
Tyler stopped sobbing and looked up at Justin, glaring at the model. "Hell no!" he snapped. "You manipulated my Lindsay just like the way Alejandro manipulated my Lindsay and the way Sierra is manipulating my Lindsay right now! Well if you think I have forgotten this; you've got another thing coming!" And with that, Tyler lunged for Justin. But he missed and fell out an open window instead.
"That's gonna be one long fall," Justin bluntly stated. "He'll be sore for a few days. So who's left?"
"There is Blaineley," said Millicent, "but Izzy will murder you if you move in with her. Besides, Blaineley hates you just as much as she hates everyone else on the show."
"Also, her real name is Mildred," Chris smirked, who happened to be passing. "Though it isn't as bad as your name, Millicent. That's a girl's name! Ha!"
"Shut up!" snarled Millicent. "You made me change to that name! You gave every male intern a woman's name and every female intern a man's name!"
"That's because I'm awesome!" smiled Chris.
"Whatever!" groaned Millicent, rolling his eyes. "Listen: are you willing to take Justin as your roommate? There are no empty apartments available and he's desperate for a roommate."
"What do you think my answer to that question is going to be?" demanded Chris.
"But I'm desperate!" Justin begged.
"Well it's not my problem!" Chris jeered. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go spy on Duncan while he jerks off to himself! That dude's been crushed ever since his breakup with Gwen! Later!" And so Chris climbed out the window onto the fire-escape to go look into Duncan's bedroom through the window. Justin and Millicent rolled their eyes.
"I can see why Gwen and Duncan weren't living together," said Justin. "Why did they break up anyway?"
"It was the exact same reason Duncan cheated on Courtney," Millicent pointed out. "Duncan only dated Courtney and Gwen because he was a sex addict. Though the two girls didn't give him much love either. Courtney just wanted a servant, but she has us as slaves so she has probably gotten over the break up by now; Gwen was just desperate for a significant other because she wanted to continue double-dating with Bridgette and Geoff, and Trent was already off his rocker by that point. Even if she stayed with Trent, he would've gone incurably insane and killed her nine times anyway."
"But Bridgette and Geoff hate Duncan," said Justin.
"They got used to him by the end of Total Drama Action and vice versa," said Millicent. "Anyway, I'm afraid there is only one last option left about your accommodation anomaly."
"And?" Justin eagerly asked.
"Well let's give it a shot," said the intern, knocking on the door. Heavy footsteps sounded. Justin froze. He immediately realised who was living behind that door.
"OH MY GOD JUSTIN!" squealed the resident of the apartment when he answered the door. "THE ONE AND ONLY JUSTIN! RIGHT OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT DOOR! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE SINCE… SINCE… I forget."
"Well at least someone is eager to be your roommate," Millicent nudged Justin. But Justin did not respond. He just stared in absolute terror at the one person he was the most reluctant to move in with:
Owen.
Well this is awkward for poor old Justin, right? Well don't feel sorry for him, because Justin is technically a jerk. Anyway, I have five exams over the next three weeks, so updates won't be happening until a few days before Christmas. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to check out my other story, Total Drama: Island Renewed, and vote in the poll which regards the story's rating. See you guys later! Have a good Christmas!
By the way, for those of you who miss Total Drama Yuri, a few more of it's chapters will be up on the site.