Now something completely different, this was done during the writing of my previous story.
This is for Greece/Japan/Turkey and the kink is Japan auspitising between Turkey and Greece and then bitching to America about it. If you don't know what Auspitism is, it's a concept in the webcomic Homestuck, there are references to it here so if you don't know it I suggest you wise up. For those who get the references and the overly ripped first part enjoy!
Shinsengumi ai no romansu.
Romance is complex.
The problem is that whenever the subject of romance is broached it seems most people only assume there is only one type, the romance which spans a wide range of emotions, social conventions and… 'Implications for reproduction'.
There is a single symbol which we associate with romance:
3
But truthfully there is more to it than that.
The romance we know of is the 'True Love' type, denoting a root of extremely positive emotions and the subject of many of our literature, music and art. This is one people rarely find, if at all, and is said to happen once in every person's lifetime. When two people find themselves in this type they are normally referred to as a 'couple' or, if reproduction rituals have been performed, 'lovers'.
An example of this would be the relationship between Italy and Germany, though both seem to be too embarrassed to really act on it yet.
Then you have the lesser form of this, the 'Bro-love' type. This type is used to denote a strong, yet more platonic, love type in which two people seem to be drawn together by some imaginary tie and develop a strong 'friendship' with no sexual implications and/or an eternally running competition of 'one-up-man/girl-ship'.
On the rare occasion this does lead to sexual activities however, the polite and dignified terms of 'having a mistress/sir' is used, though, in less polite society, 'fuck-buddy' is the common lingo.
An example of this type is the heavily denied 'bro-love' of France and England – seriously, if they weren't drawn to each other why would they keep meeting up!
Then you have the more negative love types.
The most recognizable, though not in a romantic sense, is the 'Love to Hate' type. This type is deeply rooted in negative emotions, or at least what we see as negative. This type is similar to its polar opposite, the 'True-love' type, in the way that this pure kind of hatred or rivalry can only be sparked once in a person's lifetime and will stay with them both forever, even if the two parties are forcibly separated.
Most people in this type are referred to, depending on the severity of it, are called either 'rivals' if more platonic and flirtatious, 'enemies' if fairly serious or 'worst enemies' if it is to the extent of wishing to kill the other and/or cause them great pain.
An example of this is the dislike and rivalry between America and Russia.
In all these love types there are misunderstandings, infidelities and uneasiness. Two people in one type or relationship could think they are in another, a couple could have one person with 'true love' feelings while the other has 'love to hate' or 'bro-love' feelings and then you have the relationships that go completely out of control, flipping from 'true love' to 'love to hate' in seemingly a matter of seconds and then switching back again.
This leads on to the final main type of relationship, known as the 'threesome' or 'counselling' type. This, while not always having prominent romantic implications, is an important part of the relationship types.
This is the type of relationship in which two people with a particularly unstable relationship are monitored by someone known as a 'peace-keeper' or 'councillor' who works to stabilise the relationship to ideally fit and stay in one of the other types or, less ideally but more commonly, stay in a kind of limbo where either the two are separated without knowing how they feel or simply don't know how to interact with each other and lose interest.
To explain this relationship, which is probably one of the most interesting and complex of all of them; it seems better to me to tell you of one in more detail.
Let me tell you about Greece, Turkey and Japan.
Greece, Japan and Turkey have known each other for quite a long time, if count a good few centauries as a long time that is.
Greece and Japan, while they weren't the oldest of friends, had been friendly with each other for a fairly long time, since 1899 to be exact. They were both calm people, though Greece because he always seemed to be too busy napping to worry about things and Japan because of his reserved nature. They didn't get on each other's nerves and could sometimes be seen relaxing on a hill-side or in the ruins of Ancient Greece, exploring and talking about forgotten times.
Turkey and Japan's relationship was similar, Turkey and Japan having a mutual friendship due to Japan having helped Turkey back when a boat of his had sunk off the coast of his homeland and Japan had helped him out and then later on with Turkey helping Japan when his people needed help in 1985.
Turkey was more eccentric than Greece, always wearing an opera mask over his face and talked about all manner of weird and wonderful things, making him interesting and refreshing to talk to when Japan needed to be distracted from issues in his country.
The only problem with this was the relationship between Greece and Turkey. They had hated each other for a very long time, ever since Greece had moved out of Turkey's house when Turkey was still the Ottoman Empire.
Since then they had been against each other in four wars but, every time after, they were drawn together by their leaders and ended up being a lovey-dovey couple for a while before they started fighting again, and Japan, the common friend between the two, had been drawn inadvertently into the conflict.
And now was one of those times in which Greece and Turkey were fighting.
Japan hadn't known what the argument had originally been about, something petty he was sure, but when he had arrived the topic had quickly switched to him.
"Japan is a better friend to me than you!" Turkey shouted, his accent placing a malevolent spin on the words, "he helped me out and I helped him out! We have a mutual alliance!"
"Yeah? Well, at least I didn't have to have Japan save my ass before we became friends!" Greece shouted, his normal sleepy tone and speed of speaking forgotten, he was only like this with Turkey when they were fighting.
Turkey made a sound of indignation and then crossed his arms defensively.
"Hmph! Well, I know that Japan likes me better, you just fall asleep all the time and show him boring ruins, I take him to see my art and my excellent culture" he pulled a dramatic pose to accompany his words.
"Your opera is boring and don't you dare insult my mother you pig!"
"Bastard!"
"Jackass!"
"D-douzo you two, stop, there's no reason to fight over me, I am an ally to both of you, I value both of you the same as each other so please stop fighting." Japan jumped in, looking only slightly distressed as he tried to convince the two nations not to start another war, especially not a war over him.
The two nations didn't stop and quickly turned to him, both glaring as they said in almost complete unison,
"Then we'll fight so you'll value one of us more than the other!"
They then noticed what they had done and quickly glared back at each other.
"Don't say what I say you uncultured Greek!"
"Same at you, Turkish Malaka!"
"I know what that means, Orospu!"
"Skopianos!"
"Puşt!"
After that they both growled and then leaped at each other, punching, kicking and screaming various obscenities in and out of their native languages. Eventually they fell over but didn't notice as they continued to fight each other, using teeth and nails and fists and fe-
They were suddenly shocked when they both felt quick, strong and precise knocks on the crown of their heads and then both drawn up from the floor by the small and deceptively strong hands of Japan, pulled roughly apart from each other and held just far enough apart that they couldn't do much, if any damage, to one another.
"Can you two stop this? This is very childish, you're fully grown nations, you shouldn't be fighting like little kids in the playground!" His eyes, normally an emotionless haze of bluish-black sparked and cleared for a moment, showing a glare which could rival even Sweden's nastiest death glare.
Turkey and Greece both loved seeing Japan angry, or show any emotion for that matter, they had even established competitions before about who could get Japan to show an emotion the quickest, but they didn't like it directed at them, because they both knew Japan had been a war-lord for a reason.
"S-sorry!" they both said in unison again, adopting each to their own pose of begging forgiveness.
After another glare Japan let them down again, his eyes being hidden behind that haze again and sweeping himself down to compose himself.
"Yoroshii"
He paused then seemed to go completely back into himself as he spoke again, stuttering now,
"I-I'm sorry, I have to go and meet somebody, adiosu you two"
With that Japan quickly retreated from the two, rustling around in his pocket for his phone, the newest Japanese model on the market of course, and speed-dialled the one he always talked to when something like this happened. America.
While he ran off, Greece and Turkey just looked at each other, both still in visible shock before getting up and sweeping themselves down then looking at each other.
"He's… right…" Greece said first, his voice calm and sleepy again.
"Yeah… he was more angry with me though…"
"No he wasn't he was more angry with me…"
"No, me! Did you see the way he was looking at me! He was definitely glaring at me!"
"He was glaring at me more! He wouldn't even want to look at you with that stupid mask!"
"Oh yeah!?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, I bet I can make you come before I do!"
"You're on! I'll definitely win this time!"
And so the cycle continues.
Meanwhile, having successfully carried out the x2 transition combo, Japan had been bitching all about this to America, using a wide range of expressions as he explained all of the above, including the part about relationships.
"-I mean seriously, those Kusogaki are so annoying! Without me they would have already destroyed each other!"
"Ahmm" America hummed, nodding his head in agreement. They were both sitting in the bar at the moment, America with a light booze and Japan with stiff sake which he was downing quickly.
Japan continued glugging as he went.
"I've been with the both of them for centuries and it's always the same damn thing, they love each other, then they break up and fight and then they fuck each other to loving each other again then it just repeats. In the words of me 'kuso kurae no shin'!"
"Yeah, just let it all out dude. That sounds like hard work to me."
"It is! You don't even know!" Japan breathed a sigh of relief after downing the third sake bottle of the day and then got up slowly, looking at America with blurry eyes "goodbye America, thanks for listening to my complaints so well"
"Hey, it's no prob dude; just don't forget to pay your share."
"Oh, yes, of course."
With slightly fumbling hands Japan picked out his wallet and threw a couple of yen notes onto the bar-stand, confusing the bartender greatly.
"You okay dude? You look like you're a bit tipsy there."
"I'll be okay, thank you for your concern though" and with that Japan stumbled, rather quietly, out of the bar and into the night.
America turned to the bartender and picked up the yen notes, exchanging them for American dollars and adding his own share and a small tip, which appeased the bartender and walked away.
America sipped his booze again and then grabbed his phone from his pocket, the latest American model of course, and dialled a number.
He waited for the phone to ring and then smiled as he heard the sound of somebody picking up.
"Hello?"
"Yeah, hey Andy, Alfred here."
"Oh, Alfred, hi. What's going on?"
"Ah, nothing important. Hey, how's that comic of yours coming along?"
"Webcomic" Andy corrected "and good, I'm just a bit stuck though."
"On what?"
"Well, I want to have this kind of relationship dynamic in the story but I just can't get my head around what to do."
"Ah, then you're in luck my troll buddy."
"Why?"
"Because I might just be able to help you out with your little problem."
"Really? I didn't know you knew anything about relationships."
"Oh yeah dude, I'm a regular Casanova."
"Okay then, do tell…"
And this, fair readers, is where the four quadrants of troll romance originated.