The witness toyed her myriad bracelets between shaking fingers, and murmured another, "Desu." Her fate was nearly sealed -- Phoenix just needed an opening.
"Alright," Queenie Strife-Uchiha said, "I guess it was about one AM, then. I was reading fanfiction but the poster wasn't me!"
"Objection!" Phoenix cried, "You're lying!"
Queenie glared. "Nani? Prove it!"
That was what he had been waiting for: Phoenix smiled, and victory sang in his veins. "I can and I will!" He held up the stack of computer records, and tapped it for the court to see. "These IP records clearly show that the fanfiction in question was posted at one AM, from Ms. Strife-Uchiha's computer!"
"Objection." Edgeworth's protests lacked fangs today -- he canted his head, and eyed Phoenix like he already knew the punchline. "There are no witnesses to verify what she was doing at that computer, and the page history was deleted. Can you prove who the story was written by, Mr. Wright?"
Naturally, he could. "The spelling and grammar mistakes exactly match those in the witness's personal E-mail records! The plotline follows the same romanticized pattern of all the witness's other works! And if you'll look at the instant message conversation records, she's been discussing this particular piece of work with numerous other writers!" Phoenix pointed squarely at the shaking fangirl on the stand. "Ms. Strife-Uchiha is clearly guilty!"
Veins bulged in Queenie's temples, and she seized her head, battering her already dishevelled violet pigtails. "It's not fair! I just wanted to be a Big Name Fan, that's not wrong, it's NOT! Their love is true and pure and MAGICAL! Baka, BAKA Naruhodou-san!"
Phoenix really couldn't figure out why she kept calling him that, but it didn't matter -- the judge hammered his gavel, silencing the muttering crowd.
"I've seen enough."
That was that -- the case was over.
Phoenix and Edgeworth crossed paths while leaving the courtroom.
"Hey," Phoenix said, and grinned, "Another blemish on your record."
"This one, I can forgive. It was for a good cause." Edgeworth glanced sideways at him. "Girls writing about illicit activities between you and I... Disgraceful."
"Yeah." The thought of tying a guy like Edgeworth up with his own frilly scarf-thing still made Phoenix's blood run cold. Since when was a budding lawyer the star of...adult entertainment? He rubbed the back of his neck -- who knew what went on in people's heads? "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow on the Usagi Warren case? I hope you'll put up a fight!"
"I'll get my guilty verdict." Edgeworth smirked, cool fire in his eyes. "Count on it."
That was a challenge Phoenix could get behind. He watched Edgeworth vanish into the crowded lobby, and headed straight for the courthouse's front doors. Phoenix had a city park to comb for clues, and another mystery to unravel.
The Strife-Uchiha girl had a number of skills, Edgeworth had to admit. A knack for dialogue, an enticing variety of kinks, even a reasonably ambiant narrative style. He swirled his Chianti in slow circles, catching eerie blue light on its blood-dark surface. And then he glanced to the search engine's result: 404, Page Not Found. The offending story was gone.
A smile spreading icy over his face, he returned to his favourite fanfiction archive, and opened the latest contribution to Edgeworth/Phoenix fandom. Name order was indeed important -- the file he opened didn't disappoint. Desks could be so marvellously cliched.
"That's it, Wright." He set the wine glass aside, leaning forward, smirking wider. "You might like it."
Yes, Strife-Uchiha was a skilled author, but she had made a crucial error: Miles Edgeworth mewled for no one.