Hello everyone! This is my first story on :3 I really love the dynamics between Ron and Hermione, and there were so many unexplored feelings between them during the time before and when Ron left, so I wanted to explore that further! Hope you other Romione fans out there enjoy it!
i.
"… Protego totalum… Repello Muggletum… Muffliato…"
For a brief second, Hermione stopped and froze on the spot, her eyes flickering between the trees of the new area, and when she decided it was clear, continued to wave her wand and surround the area with protective charms.
It was almost a reflex now to enclose the tent with defensive barriers, as if it was part of her normal regime. Changing location every night or so was necessary, albeit very inconvenient, if they wanted to protect their home. On second thought, it was too much to call the tent a 'home', their one safe refuge now probably being overrun with Death Eaters and poor Kreacher wondering what had happened to Harry, Ron and herself. There were moments when Hermione simply wanted to call it quits and go home, before remembering that this tent was as close as she was going to get to 'home' for a long time.
The sun was starting to disappear behind the hills, and Hermione would have to start thinking about organising something for the three of them to eat. She scowled at the thought, knowing not only was food hard to find and cook, but she also had to try and please the others, something she had yet to accomplish with a certain red-head.
Scrounging up some mushrooms, (once again, she thought to herself grudgingly,) The brunette made her way back to the tent and, taking one last look at the surroundings, entered the spacious pavilion and dropped the mushrooms on the small kitchen bench. Ron noticed and screwed his face.
"Mushrooms again? You're not serious, are you? Surely…"
But the piercing look she shot him all but confirmed his suspicions and he sighed somewhat theatrically before impetuously remarking, "Well, don't expect me to eat them. I still say we should've taken more eggs from that farmhouse…"
"Ron, that's stealing!" She said as-a-matter-of-factly, throwing the mushrooms into the billy can. "And besides, the farmer would've been more than suspicious if he found all of his eggs gone. This will do until we change locations."
Ron slumped on his bunk, frowning as his stomach rumbled. "Those mushrooms are hardly edible. Shove them back in the ground and find something better."
"I'll tell you where to shove them if you don't stop-"
"I think it's time we swapped the Horcrux again!" Harry cut in, stopping yet another squabble between the two. Hermione stubbornly pulled off the locket from around her neck and threw it into Harry's hands, feeling slightly better but still irritated at the red-head across the tent.
"I'll cook the mushrooms," Harry announced, taking the billy can from Hermione in a hope to avoid more bickering; if Ron blamed him instead for the meal perhaps another argument wouldn't erupt.
He couldn't have been more wrong.
"I would rather eat dirt than this," Ron spat, pushing his portion away and glaring at it, as if staring at it hard enough would turn it into something more desirable.
"There's plenty of dirt outside, knock yourself out." Hermione retorted before Harry could stop her, eating her portion reluctantly.
"You're sure there wasn't anything else out there except for fungus?"
"Yes, Ron, but if you don't believe me, why don't you go out there and find some more food yourself?"
Ron grumbled, playing with the strap of his sling. "If you haven't noticed, I'm not really in the right condition to go hunting for food."
"Then stop complaining, okay? I'm doing the best I can!"
"Well your best isn't very good, is it!" Ron snapped before he could stop himself. His expression showed the instant regret as the words left his tongue, and before he could stutter an apology, Hermione stood and stormed outside, beginning her night watch early and taking her questionable mushrooms with her.
Harry and Ron exchanged glances, Ron looking guilty and Harry looking serious.
"You could have handled that better, you know." Harry said at last.
"I know…" Ron said awkwardly, gazing towards the entrance of the tent where Hermione had just left.
ii.
Harry had fallen asleep, and Hermione was outside, still on night watch. Ron had just woken after dozing off on his bunk, his weakened state making it hard to keep his eyes open. He knew Harry was having trouble sleeping lately, so he decided not to wake him.
Groaning as he sat up, Ron reached for his wand with his one good arm and stepped towards the entrance. When he opened the front of the tent he found Hermione sitting close by, her wand in one hand and The Tales of Beedle the Bard in the other.
"Harry?" She spoke when she heard footsteps, and her expression hardened slightly when she saw Ron.
"Nope, just me," He said softly, stepping over the entrance and standing next to Hermione in the darkness. "Ready to swap?"
"Harry's supposed to be taking the next watch," She said simply, looking back out at the forest. "You're not well enough. Go back inside."
"Harry's asleep. And long hours of sleep comes pretty few and far between for him these days," Ron sighed, sitting down next to the brunette. "I'll take the watch instead. I'm fine."
"Oh, so you're well enough to take night watch but not well enough to find us food?" Hermione scorned, not looking him in the face.
Ron drew his lips back and chose his words more carefully this time. "You've been on watch for ages now, go get some sleep. I'll be fine."
"You're seriously going to watch the tent with one usable arm?" She asked, half joking and half serious.
"Yes," He said genuinely, and took the book from her lap to get her full attention. "Go sleep, alright? You look tired."
"But-"
"Blimey, Hermione, you worry too much."
She would have protested further, but she was truly exhausted. Defeated, she stood up and headed inside, not before wishing him goodnight and muttering the words "Thanks, Ron," before disappearing inside the tent. Ron smiled, feeling accomplished for once during this dismal week.
iii.
The next morning, Hermione woke to find Harry still asleep. She was surprised he had slept so long, especially with the Horcrux hanging lazily around his neck. But that worry diminished when she couldn't find Ron.
She thought he would've come in by now, the sun rising over the hills and the area safe to leave unattended for a little while before they switched locations. Was he still outside?
Feeling a chill as she threw off her blanket, Hermione leapt out of her bunk and strode towards the entrance. As she did, a stony-faced Ron stepped inside.
"Ron! Why didn't you come in earlier? It must have been freezing last night!"
But Ron didn't answer, and for a second Hermione thought he had been hit with a stupefy charm. He squinted, and before Hermione could question him further his eyes lost focus, and he started falling forward. Hermione lunged forward and caught Ron as he collapsed, panic lurching through her chest as she gave way under his weight. Struggling, she dragged him further inside the tent, crying, "Harry! Harry, wake up! Harry!"
Disgruntled and confused, Harry awoke and got to Hermione's aid, dragging Ron over to his bunk. He was sweating vigorously, and Hermione could feel panic rising inside her. "Harry, what do we do? He's ill and we're low on medicine and oh god he's going to die-"
"Calm down," Harry said groggily, examining the red-head lying on the bed. "It looks like he's just got a fever. Was he out on night watch?"
"Er, yes, I mean, he basically forced me to go to bed," Hermione stammered, feeling guilt well up inside her for letting Ron take the night watch in his condition. "I didn't think he'd stay out there all night!"
"It's alright, we'll get him better in no time," Harry reassured, although unsure himself how exactly they would accomplish this. "I'll check the bag for medicine. Make sure he's warm."
Harry ran off to hunt for items in the bag, and Hermione's panic increased. She saw the concern in Harry's eyes as he shoved his hand into the sack, the panic rising in him too, and she frantically looked around for something that would possibly help Ron recover. For a second she scoffed at the way they were acting; they were running around like lunatics trying to help Ron, and she realised just how much Ron held the trio together.
Harry returned with some sort of antidote and a cloth in tow. Hermione wiped Ron's brow while Harry tried to force-feed Ron the medicine, but he didn't take much of it before involuntarily gagging.
"Looks like we're staying put for a little while," Harry sighed, wondering if staying a day longer here would jeopardise the whole task. "It shouldn't take long for his fever to go down. I'll go try and find us some breakfast."
Hermione was about to protest about being left alone, but thought it was better for everyone if they found some food to eat. Harry left and Hermione brushed Ron's hair away with her hands. Why did he stay out all night? Why was he so irritably stubborn?
"You idiot…" Hermione whispered, albeit affectionately, pushing auburn locks from his eyes.
For much of the day Ron remained bedridden, the heat from his body radiating through the blankets Hermione had wrapped around him. He was shivering uncontrollably, muttering incoherent nothings every now and then. As the day wore on Hermione's fears only seemed to rise along with his fever.
Day turned to night and Harry took the night watch, leaving Hermione to tend to Ron, red-faced and sweating, involuntarily shivering every now and then with such ferocity Hermione thought he might as well be standing in a freezer. She could feel her eyelids become dead weights and she struggled to stay sitting up, trying to snap out of her dozes.
She let her eyelids fall and her body slump next to the bunk, and if it weren't for the noise she may have fallen asleep there and then.
"Ngh… urgh… ahh…"
She startled upright, blinking, confused and disoriented. An immediate panic erupted in her as she looked for the source of the noise, but sighed with relief when she saw it was only Ron.
Ron?
"Ah… argh… Wh… what…"
Hermione smiled for the first time in a while, glad to see Ron was stirring. It was an improvement to be sure, she thought happily, as she watched him; his eyes were fluttering and his head turned softly against the pillow. Was he waking?
"Ron…?" She whispered, reaching forward and pressing a hand to his forehead. His didn't feel as hot as before.
"Ar… oh…w-where…"
"You're safe, Ron," Hermione reassured.
"Wh… Who? H-Harry?"
"No, Ron." She said softly, stroking his cheek in the hope that he'd fully awaken.
"Her… Hermione?"
"Yes. I'm here."
He let out a long sigh and his eyes fluttered shut again. For a second Hermione thought he'd gone back to sleep.
"Hermione." He breathed softly.
"Yes, it's okay," She comforted, continuing to rub his cheek. He groaned groggily and opened his eyes again. "How are you feeling?"
"Awful," He croaked, trying to sit up but not finding the strength.
"Don't try to get up, you need to rest."
Ron reluctantly laid back down again, and Hermione replaced the cloth on his forehead. "You should never have taken the night watch. What were you thinking?"
Ron mumbled, scrunching up his face and reaching a hand up to find Hermione's. His voice was distant and dreamy. "I wanted to… help out…"
"Not in your condition you won't." She said firmly, wrapping the blankets tighter around him.
"Ngh… I… wanted to… protect you…"
Hermione paused at his words, her mouth open. She wasn't sure whether it was to say something or out of pure shock. All that she could muster was "Oh…"
"You… arhk… I gotta protect you… you know…"
Hermione was still lost for words. He's delirious, she thought undoubtedly, or maybe she was just trying to convince herself? Completely delirious. He doesn't know what he's saying.
"I may not… be able to… to find… mushrooms…" Came a reply when Hermione said nothing, alongside a goofy grin, "but I… I can at least protect… nghh… luyh…"
"Ron…?" She was losing him again.
"You don't… don't hafta worry…" He continued, humming a dreamy note. "I'll always… protect you… Her-my… nee…"
Ron sighed deeply, his breath even and calm. Her breath hitched in her throat, her brown eyes wide with astonishment. He said no more and he didn't stir, and Hermione stared at his sleeping form, trying to shake the warm feeling rising inside her. He was delirious, she thought again, and yet she couldn't shake the words out of her head. He wanted to protect her… the thought made her feel feverishly warm, but Hermione doubted she had caught his illness. Moreover she felt her cheeks heat up, and she refused to believe it was a blush. Thinking it safe to leave him sleeping, Hermione rose and strode over to her own bunk, feeling hot and confused and, dare she say it, hopeful.
iv.
The cliffside brought an onslaught of chilly winds, but after Ron had recovered the trio decided quickly to change locations, having stayed in that forest one too many days. Hermione hadn't told Ron of their conversation, (if you could call it that, she thought) and Ron didn't seem to remember, waking up the next day and asking what had happened to him. He was even more oblivious to the red of Hermione's cheeks when she saw him the next day, his slurry words still evidently on her mind.
Hermione hugged herself tightly as she sat outside the tent, watching over the cliff to make sure there were no unexpected guests.
She heard a shriek from inside the tent, and the voice belonged to Ron. It was a panicked sort of shriek, the kind of high-pitched noise a young girl would make when they saw a bug on their skirt.
"H-Hermione!"
The brunette stood and, taking a quick look over her shoulder, entered the tent. Harry was asleep on his bunk and Ron was at the other end, the look on his face showing dread and fear.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked quickly, and glanced over in the direction Ron was looking. There was a hairy, black spider on Ron's bunk, about the size of her hand, and she looked back at Ron with annoyance.
"Honestly, Ron, it's just a spider!"
"I don't like them," Ron muttered, backing as far away from the bunk as he could.
"You're telling me you can't handle this after facing Aragog?" She said angrily, reaching into her pocket for her wand.
"I-don't-like-them," He repeated with a sincere tone, never taking his eyes off the spider.
Hermione made quick work of the spider and Ron relaxed after Hermione checked the sheets for any more. Satisfied, he returned to the bunk with his radio, and Hermione stomped back outside.
"If you can't stand a little spider how do you ever intend to protect me?" She muttered under her breathe.
"What?"
"Er, nothing." She replied, stepping outside before he could interrogate her further.
v.
"What about Hogwarts?"
Hermione and Ron looked sceptically at Harry, both ready with arguments to quickly diminish this suggestion. Harry saw the looks on their faces and scowled.
"Well, have you two got any better ideas?"
Ron sighed, leaning back in his bunk with a fatigued demeanour. "He wouldn't hide a Horcrux at his old school."
"Then where else do you suggest, Ron?"
Ron chose not to comment, sensing Harry's temper rising, and noticed without surprise that the locket was hanging around his neck, the gold chain shining against the light of the fire.
"What about his old orphanage?" Hermione mentioned, although she answered half-heartedly.
"He hated the orphanage, why would he hide a Horcrux there?" Harry pointed out, standing up and heading to the bathroom, possibly just to get away from the conversation.
"Bloody hell…" Ron moaned, rubbing his eyes with his good hand. Hermione looked over at him with irritation.
"I don't see you making any suggestions, Ron." Hermione said as-a-matter-of-factly. "If it's so easy why haven't you found them yet?"
"Where the hell would I get four Horcruxes from?"
"You're full of surprises."
"True. But conjuring Horcruxes out of my arse is a talent I've yet to accomplish."
The crooked smirk on Ron's face along with his joke forced Hermione's lips into a smile, and failing to suppress it she burst into laughter. Ron laughed along, and soon they were both lost in the laughter, momentarily forgetting about their troubles and empty stomachs and struggling for breath.
vi.
The Horcrux was stone-cold against Hermione's chest, resisting her body's desperate urges to warm up. She was physically shivering; her whole being shook like a leaf caught in the wind, and no matter how tightly she curled herself up she still shivered uncontrollably. The blanket coiled around her did little to warm her body, and Hermione fervently wished it could have been summer.
Harry was out on night watch, and Ron was apparently still up, listening to the small radio on the other side of the tent so as not to wake Hermione. She was wide awake though, and shivering the way Ron had during his fever. It was just so cold.
"Why didn't I pack extra blankets!?" She scolded herself, pulling the blanket even higher over her chin and bringing her knees up to her neck in a bleak attempt to warm up.
The radio was turned off; Ron must have decided to go to sleep. Hermione did her best to shut her eyes and pretend to be sleeping, not wanting to worry Ron.
But it didn't work apparently, because she heard his footsteps coming her way. She kept her eyes shut, listening closely to his steps and wondering what he was doing.
A sudden warmness overcame her. Still not opening her eyes, she felt a blanket being placed carefully over her, and hands wrapping it around her like a cocoon. Ron?
The warmth was an instant bliss, and she felt warmer still where his hands wrapped the blanket tightly around her. She could hear his breathing and tried her best to remain 'asleep'. After he had tucked her in, she felt his hand fall on top of her head, caressing it slightly, his thumb running over her temple. He let go and she heard him stepping over towards his own, blanket-free bed.
And suddenly she couldn't feel the cold anymore.
vii.
She ran through the entrance of the tent, tears streaming down her pale face, shouting out with a shaky voice. It was a desperate sort of plea, the kind of unexpected sound you only heard in grim circumstances. "Ron!"
He stomped away stubbornly, not slowing down at the sound of her voice.
I get it. You choose him.
The words were still fresh in her mind and it only made her heart race faster. "Ron, please, come back! Ron!"
The desperation in her tone rose, and when Ron still didn't slow down she dashed forward and lunged for him. Her arms wrapped around his waist and he was caught on the spot, Hermione sobbing into his back.
"Ron! Please… Just come back…"
She wanted to keep speaking, she had so many things to say. But she just couldn't find the words – not yet. Her head was full of clouds, all rumbling and black and blocking all the things she wanted to say. The one thing she really, really wanted to say.
They stood, for what could've seemed like years but was really only a few seconds, and Ron hesitated only for a minute before angrily pushing her arms away.
"Ron!"
Her voice was lost as he disapparated. He was gone. He'd gone.
After standing there in disbelief for a while, she finally decided to head back to the tent, where Harry was still fuming in anger. "He's gone," She let out in a sob, and walked past Harry without further conversation.
Looking back, at the time when he fell ill, all she remembered was how panicked the air seemed to be. How nothing seemed right when one of the trio was down. How even though the situation was under control, it somehow still felt frantic, rushed. Now that he had gone, though, it was ten times worse. How were they going to carry on without him? The thought made her heart pang with sadness. It would never be the same, not without Ron.
How long would it be before she would see him again? Would she ever see him again? Would she ever be able to tell him how she felt?
And suddenly she felt angry, angry at him for leaving and angry at herself for somehow letting him go. It wasn't like fights were rare these days, being confined to such a small space and carrying a Horcrux around, but somehow this had pushed Ron over the edge. But he didn't have to storm off like that! How could he ever find his way back? It was always those three…
Hermione felt the tears coming faster and she didn't bother trying to stop them. She didn't really care about anything except the fact that Ron was gone.
It was a helpless feeling, the feeling of regret and the feeling of loneliness. After weeks of accomplishing nothing she wasn't surprised that tension was rising. But she didn't expect this at all. What were they going to do without him?
I… wanted to… protect you…
A little part of her wished she'd told him what he'd said. She didn't care that they were the mutterings of a feverish mind. Perhaps, she wished, it was an unconscious confession, slipped out in a slur of confusion and grogginess. It was too late now though, and perhaps Ron would never know just how much those dreamy words really meant to her. The words that gave her the hope that maybe, just maybe, he shared the same feelings for her as she did for him.
In the end, she simply wished she had told him the truth.