Floating Through Memories

Summary: What Kira thought as he floated through space and what happened after. Oneshot

Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Seed. If I did Flay would have died a whole lot sooner.

It's amazing what one thinks about when on the verge of death. So many things left unsaid... So many tears not spent. How did I survive this long? Where am I? Its so beautiful! Why did Flay have to die? So much goes though ones mind...

Will I be able to see Athrun again? Will I see Lacus? Cagalli? Mirillia? Kuzzey? Murrue? Mu is dead... its my fault. I should have been there to protect the Archangel. Instead I'm here floating through space. Alive... I don't know the meaning of the word...

What is that? Is it the angels coming to take my soul? Or is it the demons coming to torture me back to life? No its just Cagalli and Athrun... Why did they come? I just want to die damnit! Why can't my life just end now? Why must I endure this pain?

Athrun... Cagalli... Why are you crying? Are you really that happy to see me? Athrun... You tried to kill me once... And I tried to kill you... How can we still be friends? Tori? What are you doing out here in the middle of space? Don't tell me you brought Cagalli and Athrun to me...

I can feel my conscious slipping... Death is drawing near. I don't want to die! I want to see Lacus. I don't want to break my promise. I don't want to fight anymore. I just want to live in peace! That's all I ever asked for. Maybe I do want death. It is the ultimate release. I can feel the darkness coming for me. Hello Tori my faithful friend. Take care of everyone for me.

No wait I have to fight this! My friends deserve the chance to yell at me for my stupidity. No I can't die yet. Just a little closer. My tears... They won't stop falling. Why won't they stop falling? They always used to say I was a crybaby... There right. They have always been right. Here comes Athrun.

I turn my head away from them as the last of my strength gives out. A person only has so much will power. I can hear them... feel them... calling my name. I'm still here! Help me please! I don't want to die yet! Why can't you hear me?

This reminds of the time not to long ago... Waking up after finding out about my dark past. How I'm some freak of nature. Just like the kids at school used to call me... Why couldn't I have died with my brother and sisters? Why can't Cagalli let me go?

I can hear Lacus sobbing over me. Is this the end? Is this what I have been fighting for? Do I want to live the rest of my life with Lacus? Should I just run away? Maybe I should... Maybe it would ease the pain.

"You're a coward..." Who is that? Oh yeah that's the pilot of the Duel. He used to call me a coward a lot. If only you knew... Mir I'm sorry but I don't think I can last much longer. You are a true friend. Sai I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused you. Kuzzey may you live your life to its fullest. Lacus... My dear Lacus... Please try to forget me. Athrun take care of everyone. You were always the strongest. Cagalli do try to stay out of trouble. Everyone else... I hope you live your lives well.

Flay... I will see you soon. I may not love you anymore but you take up a large portion of my soul. Please forgive me for dying so cowardly.

My eyes flutter open. I look up at a sad Lacus. I feel my heart break all over again. I'm sorry Lacus... I'm sorry Athrun... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I turn away from her. I find myself on the Archangel and we're on earth. Later that day I manage to get away. I'm sorry... I hope my note will find you guys... I hope you can forgive me for leaving like this.

Dear Athrun Zala,

I'm sorry Athrun but I can't stay. It hurts to much to breathe... To think... To be on the same ship with all of you. We have committed many sins to which I can't live with. Please take care of everyone. Please give Tori to Cagalli. Where I am going he cannot follow.

I plan to live the rest of my life in exile. Please do not try to find me. I love you all very much. Please tell everyone how sorry I am and tell Lacus I love her. Best wishes to you.

Your Friend,

Kira Yamato

Tori flew its letter to a startled Athrun. After reading its message Athrun runs to Kira's room to find him gone. Falling to his knees he weeps openly. He informs everyone of what Kira had told him. Cagalli started to swear up and down the bridge as everyone sat in a shocked silence. Lacus silently cried. Oh how she wished to be with him...

Everyone looked around at each other before going back to there duties. A group of young people stood together to face there grief together. Kira was never found... They tried to find him but he had vanished under the night sky. So long Kira Yamato. May you find peace in your life.

Kira looked up at the stars and thought of his friends with a fond smile before turning and walking down the road again. Never to be seen or heard from again... Until his grief took him from the world a year later. He left a note for his friends to find. He knew they would catch up. It was his suicide note after all. He had written it a year ago when he said goodbye to his friends. Knowing it was foolhardy of him to do such a thing.

No longer a burden...

No longer has care...

A breath of an angel...

Flowing through your hair.

Kira watch's over you.

The End

(A/N I hope you find this enlightening and like nothing you have read before. If it is I'm sorry I did not do it on purpose. Please let me know and don't report me. Please review. Thank you and good night!

Karone.

PS I know most of this fic is random. I just showed you what I thought was in his head. Thoughts are chaotic and are usually not in sentences. If they are for you more power to ya. The thoughts are usually incomplete. They jump around a lot. Or at least mine does. Oh and I changed the ending from the show. I hope you enjoy. Thank you.)