Okay I feel rubbish so I wrote a songfic to pain by jimmy eat world to help keep my mind occupied. This is supposed to be a HoroRen fic but it more or less ended up me woffling about what Rens going through. I have no plans to change this in anyway and you'll have to decide how you want it to end, me in my own mind has no clue but if you really want to know the review and I'll get back to you… wow I woffled again… Enjoy.
Pain
I don't feel the way I've ever felt. I know.
I'm gonna smile and not get worried. I try but it shows.
Ren sat still and quiet in the middle of the field, his arms wrapped around his legs which were pulled up against his chest, his hair blowing slightly in the wind. He stared across it into what seemed to him as an empty nothingness, which reminded him of his life. This is where he had planed to meet up with his friends. He continued staring as he thought of how much had changed over the past few weeks.
Anyone can make what I have built. And better now.
Anyone can find the same white pills. It takes my pain away.
Everything had moved to fast, one moment he was hiding his love of his blue haired friend from everyone but a few select people, the next he had found out that the same blue haired friend returned some of his feelings, then his feelings were torn from there hiding place as they formed a relationship, if that was not enough change he had also found out that maybe all of his feelings were returned, though that was highly unlikely as his love ran a lot deeper than most people would ever see.
It's a lie. A kiss with opened eyes.
And he's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Never mind these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me.
He saw he friends walk towards him across the field; carefully he blinked back the tears that had been threatening to fall as he sat there lost in memories. He put on a fake smile as Choco came bounding up, his normal cheerful self. He fell next to Ren and turned to him. "Haven't been waiting long have you?" Ren shook his head as Horo gave him a hug, while Yoh and Koriin sat down beside Choco.
I never thought I'd walk away from you. I did.
But it's a false sense of accomplishment.
Every time I quit.
Horo looked at Ren and a look of concern crossed his face. "Everything ok?" Ren smiled again and nodded, every movement in his body difficult as every bit of him screamed to run far away as possible. Ren wished for the weeks before hand, the weeks were his love continued to be one-sided.
Anyone can see my every flaw. It isn't hard.
Anyone can say they're above this all.
It takes my pain away.
Every past mistake, once forgotten, came back to haunt every fibre of his being. He sat in silence, as his friends laughed and joked. Once or twice smiling and laughing as if his heart wasn't sinking, to make it seem he wasn't on the verge of tears. The tears caused by the fear of maybe one of the only great relationship and friendship being shattered and destroyed in a split second as if it never existed.
It's a lie. A kiss with opened eyes.
And he's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Never mind these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me.
Thinking over this had never once happened to him before, so how could it end the same either, but yet thinking deeper he didn't know to much of his love anyway, he had never asked to many questions, he had fallen in love with the heart that made him smile even when his heart was in tatters.
I can't let it bother me.
It takes my pain away.
He had never missed or been missed by someone other than his closest friend, he had never been as happy has he had been these past few months, he had never loved in this way as much as he did now, yet he felt sure that this would all end in the same horrible way that it had before, with the painful tears and broken heart.
It's a lie. A kiss with opened eyes.
And he's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Never mind these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me
Maybe it would be better if he ran… but would he heart be better off with the pain now or later…
Takes my pain,
Takes my pain,
Takes my pain,
Takes my pain away!