Chapter 1
People are interesting.
I've always thought so. I get a certain amount of entertainment out of watching people. Don't you ever just find yourself wondering where a person in a hurry is headed? Or what a person deep in concentration is thinking?
I always wonder. Brooke can't stand that about me. She's always telling me I think too much. It's probably true. Brooke is kinda my girlfriend. I say kinda because at any given time one of us is always unsure what we mean to the other.
She's nice. She's very beautiful and sexy and funny. She's just nice. My whole life is nice. I live in a nice house with a nice family. I have nice friends and I used to get nice grades. Is it just me, or does nice start to sound like mince after a while? Never mind. It's just me.
But y'know what? That paragraph you just read? All of the above? Yeah, that's just what other people see my life as. I know I should count myself luckier then some but check this out. My family isn't all that nice…in fact they kinda suck. My father always succeeds in making me feel like the biggest loser in the world. My mom loves me and I know it, but she's weak. Especially when it comes to dad.
My friends. Well their ok I guess. In fact if a top spot in the social hierarchy is what you're after, try and give them a call. They love me, of course they do. I'm the star of the basketball team. I'm dating the hottest girl in school. I throw killer parties. Who wouldn't want to be friends with me? They are the group that exude the confidence and boldness in Tree Hill High. But the truth is, it's all an act. They're just as lost and insecure as every other teenager in the school. For most of them it's a battle everyday- to stay in "the group" I mean. Step one foot out of line, wear one piece of unfashionable clothing, say one word that someone bigger than you doesn't approve of and you're out.
Cut down your friends, laugh along with the crowd, scramble to the top of the pile-it doesn't matter who you step on. Do whatever you can to make yourself appear cooler then the next person. Those are the rules. I'm scared of it to be honest. I'm scared I'm turning into one of them. What if I turn around one day and I'm just as judgemental and mean as the next popular jock? I loathe the thought.
And my grades? Now there's something I'd rather not talk about. I had it all sussed in grade school. I could hack it. I could get a good grade without even trying. I've always been pretty bright I guess. Even in my Freshman and Sophomore years I was getting half decent marks. But that's all changed now. I don't know what happened but all of a sudden the work's just getting on top of me. Sucks right? The one thing I still do well in is English. I enjoy the subject. I love to read. Stienbeck is easily my favourite. Man's a genius.
So there it is. My "nice" life in a nut shell. And here I am- rambling on to no-one, heading to school for another day of bitchy remarks, people bashing and work I don't understand.
Could my life be anymore perfect?
I get to school early. I get to school early a lot. Mostly because I cant wait to get away from my house. School isn't exactly my favourite place but having people fawn over you and your popularity is far more enjoyable than constantly being told what a loser you are.
Slamming my locker door shut I look around the hallway to see if there's any familiar faces around. There aren't so I decide to partake in my usual school time activity of people watching.
The first person to really catch my eye is a girl. I think she's in my English class but I'm not all that sure. I watch her in interest, wondering if many people notice her. She's walking slowly, deeply engrossed in a book. I try to catch the title- Grapes of Wrath. Interesting.
Her battered vans keep scuffing the ground and her faded blue jeans are too long- frayed and torn at the bottom. She's wearing a dark brown cord jacket over a red t-shirt and a chunky multicoloured scarf is flung carelessly around her neck. She looks terribly haphazard.
Long auburn hair falls over her shoulders and the autumn sun give it a pleasant glow. She's very pretty. Not in a conventional way like most of the girls I hang out with. And she's certainly not got Brookes sexy demeanour. In fact she looks like the kind of girl who'd pound my ass in a second if I called her sexy. No, she's pretty in an unaffected and effortless way. Like she doesn't even realise.
I must be staring because she looks up from her book and dark brown eyes bore straight into mine.
She raises an eyebrow and gives me an unsure smile and then she opens her locker- only 2 away from mine- takes some books out, closes it, then walks away again without giving me a second glance.
I suddenly decide I cant wait for my English class. I'm intrigued.
People are interesting.
I've always thought so. I get a certain amount of entertainment out of watching people. Don't you ever just find yourself wondering where a person in a hurry is headed? Or what a person deep in concentration is thinking?
I always wonder. Brooke can't stand that about me. She's always telling me I think too much. It's probably true. Brooke is kinda my girlfriend. I say kinda because at any given time one of us is always unsure what we mean to the other.
She's nice. She's very beautiful and sexy and funny. She's just nice. My whole life is nice. I live in a nice house with a nice family. I have nice friends and I used to get nice grades. Is it just me, or does nice start to sound like mince after a while? Never mind. It's just me.
But y'know what? That paragraph you just read? All of the above? Yeah, that's just what other people see my life as. I know I should count myself luckier then some but check this out. My family isn't all that nice…in fact they kinda suck. My father always succeeds in making me feel like the biggest loser in the world. My mom loves me and I know it, but she's weak. Especially when it comes to dad.
My friends. Well their ok I guess. In fact if a top spot in the social hierarchy is what you're after, try and give them a call. They love me, of course they do. I'm the star of the basketball team. I'm dating the hottest girl in school. I throw killer parties. Who wouldn't want to be friends with me? They are the group that exude the confidence and boldness in Tree Hill High. But the truth is, it's all an act. They're just as lost and insecure as every other teenager in the school. For most of them it's a battle everyday- to stay in "the group" I mean. Step one foot out of line, wear one piece of unfashionable clothing, say one word that someone bigger than you doesn't approve of and you're out.
Cut down your friends, laugh along with the crowd, scramble to the top of the pile-it doesn't matter who you step on. Do whatever you can to make yourself appear cooler then the next person. Those are the rules. I'm scared of it to be honest. I'm scared I'm turning into one of them. What if I turn around one day and I'm just as judgemental and mean as the next popular jock? I loathe the thought.
And my grades? Now there's something I'd rather not talk about. I had it all sussed in grade school. I could hack it. I could get a good grade without even trying. I've always been pretty bright I guess. Even in my Freshman and Sophomore years I was getting half decent marks. But that's all changed now. I don't know what happened but all of a sudden the work's just getting on top of me. Sucks right? The one thing I still do well in is English. I enjoy the subject. I love to read. Stienbeck is easily my favourite. Man's a genius.
So there it is. My "nice" life in a nut shell. And here I am- rambling on to no-one, heading to school for another day of bitchy remarks, people bashing and work I don't understand.
Could my life be anymore perfect?
I get to school early. I get to school early a lot. Mostly because I cant wait to get away from my house. School isn't exactly my favourite place but having people fawn over you and your popularity is far more enjoyable than constantly being told what a loser you are.
Slamming my locker door shut I look around the hallway to see if there's any familiar faces around. There aren't so I decide to partake in my usual school time activity of people watching.
The first person to really catch my eye is a girl. I think she's in my English class but I'm not all that sure. I watch her in interest, wondering if many people notice her. She's walking slowly, deeply engrossed in a book. I try to catch the title- Grapes of Wrath. Interesting.
Her battered vans keep scuffing the ground and her faded blue jeans are too long- frayed and torn at the bottom. She's wearing a dark brown cord jacket over a red t-shirt and a chunky multicoloured scarf is flung carelessly around her neck. She looks terribly haphazard.
Long auburn hair falls over her shoulders and the autumn sun give it a pleasant glow. She's very pretty. Not in a conventional way like most of the girls I hang out with. And she's certainly not got Brookes sexy demeanour. In fact she looks like the kind of girl who'd pound my ass in a second if I called her sexy. No, she's pretty in an unaffected and effortless way. Like she doesn't even realise.
I must be staring because she looks up from her book and dark brown eyes bore straight into mine.
She raises an eyebrow and gives me an unsure smile and then she opens her locker- only 2 away from mine- takes some books out, closes it, then walks away again without giving me a second glance.
I suddenly decide I cant wait for my English class. I'm intrigued.