Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fanfic. They belong to Sega.
A/N: Made out of complete boredom.
-Pre-story levels: Sonic runs into a '?' ring-
Tails: Alright Sonic, collect those Wisps to fill up your boost gauge! Then press the Boost Button to perform a boost!...What do you mean you have no idea which button is the Boost Button? Of course you do! Now quick, use the Slide Button up ahead!
Sonic: Wha- runs into a wall-Ow…
-Later, -Sonic and Tails roam through Eggman's Interstellar Amusement Park and hear a PA announcement-
Eggman *PA*: Welcome to my Interstellar Amusement Park! This park is a way of showing remorse for my past evil deeds, and is totally not a giant mind control cannon in disguise! So like, yeah, have fun.
Tails: Why is there nobody else here?
Sonic: And where the hell are the rides? This is CLEARLY an evil plan.
Tails: How can you tell?
Eggman *PA*: Hey, grab that Wisp! We need it so we can turn it into a Nega-Wisp so I can enslave the entire human rac-Oh crap my hand is on the PA button is it?
Sonic: Well, when in doubt, KILL A WHOLE BUNCH OF ROBOTS FOR NO REASON AT ALL! - dashes off-
Tails: T_T…
-Meanwhile, with two robots who are never introduced and I had to look their names-
Cubot *Yellow one*: -chases Wisps along with Orbot- GET BACK HERE SPACE VARMITS!
Orbot *By process of elimination the red one*: Your voice chip is on cowboy again-
Cubot: YEEEEHAAAAWWWWWWWW!
Orbot: T_T Just catch the stupid alien-Sonic swoops down and saves the Wisps-Wait what?
Sonic: Ha! That'll teach those guys to-The green Wisp enters Sonic's body and turns him into a laser-WAIT WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN! -starts bouncing off buildings-
Yacker: T_T
Tails: -walks by, eating cotton candy- Say what you want about Doctor Eggman but this cotton candy is the-Oh hey, an alien!
Yacker: -mumbling-
Tails: …What?
-A couple stages later-
Tails: -tinkering with a machine- Now just connect the shigaduber to the sizzamublubber to the thingthatdoesntexistamabob (These are all technical terms) and I should have successfully turned my Nintendo DS into a translator!
Sonic: -turns back into his old self in front of Tails and the alien leaves his body- OH MY GOSH TAILS! I just turned into a laser after that alien gave me his power!
Tails: I find that hard to believe even though I clearly saw that alien leave your body 3 seconds ago.
Sonic: So who's this alien dude?
Tails: Here, I made this translator, but it's not all that accurate. -Yacker speaks- OK, he either said "My name is Yacker and I am from a race known as Wisps," or he said "Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time."
Sonic: Meh, let's go with both.
Tails: -Yacker talks more- OK, I think he said "An evil man has captured my race and is stealing our ultimate power and life source – the Hyper-go-ons – from our bodies and turning us into Nega-Wisps, so he can fuel some kind of evil machine." Either that or the elder swear-
Sonic: LASER! -dashes off as a laser-
Tails: -sighs-
-One first boss fight later-
Cubot: Yar harr harr, it be hard bein' a robot, having to clean up after this pathetic excuse for a boss.
Orbot: Great, now you're on pirate…Hey, have you seen one of its arms?
Cubot: Yarr, perhaps ye should look for it.
Orbot: …Nah, it probably won't have any negative consequences in the future of the game. Let's go get drunk.
Cubot: Yarr harr! I could use me some rum!
-Later at Starlight Carnival-
Tails: So Sonic, we gotta destroy these generators in each section of the park so the tractor beams connecting these planets to Eggman's park will disappear and he'll stop draining power from the Wisps-
Sonic: YAY RUNNING! -dashes off-
Tails: DAMNIT SONIC!
Eggman: -behind the generator- That's right Sonic, fall into my trap! -pops out- CUBE-I mean LASER! -fires a purple ray at Sonic, but Tails takes the blow- Ho ho ho ho! MERRY CHRISTMAS! Wait…what?
Sonic: Eggman, what did you do to my pal!
Eggman: He's MY pal now, Sonic! I used my mind control ray on him! NOW FIGHT!
Sonic: -gets attacked by Tails- Tails, stop!
Eggman: OH HO HO HO-the ray suddenly stops working and Tails is freed-Aw crap…
Sonic: Tails, you OK?
Tails: -suddenly has a large mustache- Wha…?
Eggman: Curses! I need more alien energy! Oh well. BOSS FIGHT! -pushes a button and a giant spaceship appears- Oh ho ho! Try and beat this one Sonic-
Sonic: LASER! -turns into a laser and pierces through the ship, causing it to explode-
Eggman: ._. Um…LOOK BEHIND YOU ITS JUSTIN BIEBER!
Sonic & Tails: WHERE!
-Eggman escapes-
Sonic: Damn, he got away! Some day Bieber…
Tails: -shaves off moustache- What happened to me back there?
Sonic: Eggman used this mind control machine to make you attack me.
Tails: -grabs Sonic- WHAT! You're lying, I never hit you! -shakes Sonic rapidly- YOU'RE TEARING ME APART SONIC! - lets go of Sonic; Sonic falls on the floor- Well, time to go to the other three worlds and fight recolors of bosses you've already fought!
Sonic *dizzy and unenthusiastic*: Yaaay….
-Three worlds later-
Sonic: Yay, I won! Man, that ship recolor was hard.
Tails: Way to go Sonic! So what should we do now?
Sonic: Let's go to an amusement park!
Tails: T_T…
-Back at Tropical Resort-
Tails: Man, look at all these Wisps! We really did it!
Sonic: Let's have a sweet rave party!
-Sonic, Tails and the Wisps start to dance as heavy music plays and different colored lights start flashing. Meanwhile, Eggman watches them from a monitor in his control room-
Eggman: Enjoy your sweet rave party while you can Sonic, because my mind control cannon is now fully charged!
Cubot: Yo man it's about time I've been dying from anticipation over here-
Eggman: Shut up! Alright world, prepare to get Eggman'd!
-Eggman pushes a lever (or something) and the cannon starts charging, but a piece of the first boss that was lodged into the cannon explodes, causing it to form a black hole-
Eggman: What the-AW DAMNIT! I NEARLY WON! HOW COULD I LOSE!
Orbot: Actually sir, you always lose to Sonic. All the time.
Eggman: …Remind me why I keep your two around…And more importantly who you are and when I built you. Aw, whatever. I may have lost, but I'll still kill Sonic! TO THE EGGMAN CAVE!
Cubot: Yo, what're you talkin' about over here? There is no Eggman-
Eggman: Just shut up.
-Back at the rave party, the Wisps start to run away as the whole place starts to shake-
Tails: Um, maybe we should get out of here-Sonic?
Sonic: -starts running away- LATER TAILS!
Tails: Hey don't leave me here you blue imbecile!
-Back at the space elevator from the beginning of the game-
Tails: We're out of here!
Eggman: - hovers down aboard a robot made to look like Sonic in Frenzy Mode- Who's ready for a disappointing final boss fight?
Sonic: ME!
Tails: I'll fight too!
Sonic: No you won't!
Tails: Wha-Sonic pushes tails into the elevator and pushes a button to send him back down to Earth-SONIC, YOU SUUUUuuuuu…..
Sonic: Alright, let's go!
-The boss battle starts and as Sonic is running he runs through a '?' circle-
Tails: *static*: SONIC THIS BOSS FIGHT IS REALLY HARD!
Sonic: T_T Gee thanks for the help Tails.
Robot: LASER!
Sonic: -dodges laser- Wait, why the hell does this robot have my voice?
Robot: Q-I mean CUBE!
Sonic: -a giant cube hits him- Ow! What was that about! (Hey, a little off-topic here, but why the hell did they use a cube as a power? Yeah, when I think of ultra powerful aliens I imagine the power to turn into a freakin' CUBE. Was somebody in the board room playing with a Rubix Cube when they were coming up with these abilities and just went "DUDES I JUST GOT A HUGE BRAINSTORM!" Anyway, back to the boss fight.) HOMING ATTACK! -Sonic uses his Homing Attack several times until he frees all the aliens from the robot and uses all their power to destroy Egg Nega Wisp-
Eggman: NO! -The giant black hole that was formed before sucks Eggman in- HOLY SHHHHIIIIiiiiii….
Sonic: Uh oh, better get outta here! -starts running away- Yeah, I did it! I won-The black hole catches up to him-WAIT WHAT NOOOOOoooo…
-The Wisps carry an unconscious Sonic out of the black hole and carries him back to Earth. There he wakes up and meets up with Tails-
Tails: We did it! For reals this time!
Sonic: Yeah! So wanna have another rave party?
Tails: Nah, I'd rather go home and watch Futurama.
Sonic: Me too.
-Yacker comes by to thank the duo-
Sonic: Hey Yacker! Where have you been this whole game?
Tails: -takes out translator- I totally got this translator working! Now we can understand the aliens fully-
Yacker: (Actually, I need to go back to my home world now. Thanks for your help!)
Tails: T_T
-Yacker returns to his alien friends as the planets are returned to their original locations in the galaxy-
Tails: Well Sonic, wanna still watch F-
Sonic: See ya Tails! -runs off-
Tails: -sighs- I wonder what Knuckles is doing…
-Meanwhile-
Eggman: I somehow survived the black hole and am now floating through deep space!
Orbot: Yeah, that sure is the current situation.
Cubot: My voice is back to normal this is so awesome now I feel like talking all the time boy it sure is terrible we lost to Sonic but oh well I guess we always lose anyway I wonder what the next game will be about do you think I'll be in it I hope so even though I was just some comic relief character with no background whatsoever-
Knuckles: SHUT UP!
Others: ._.