A/N: Hey guys. Here's a oneshot I wrote on my phone during play rehearsal when I probably should've been doing my homework. It takes place sometime during my headcanon of Blood of Olympus while Reyna, Nico, and Coach Hedge are taking the Athena Parthenos back to Camp Half-Blood.

Basically, I had this image of Nico and Reyna getting really drunk and bonding over their mutual failed love lives.

So, I hope you like this. Warning, there's slight (very minor) language, and lots of alcohol. Also, I have yet to re-read most of HoO, so I might be mistaken about how much of Nico's backstory Reyna knows. So I apologize if some details are off (also I found out Bellona actually has a Greek form, but we're gonna ignore that).

Anyway, so I hope you like it. Please enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Also, P.S. I can't write Coach Hedge. I just barely tried. But I apologize if he's really OOC.

Unicorn Blood

Nico stumbled as soon as they completed the jump, and Reyna fumbled to pull the ropes off his shoulders so he wouldn't pull the whole statue down on top of himself. He lowered himself to the ground, shaking slightly, and leaned against the Athena Parthenos, feeling its power vibrate against his back.

"Are you all right?" Reyna asked him, sounding paradoxically unconcerned.

Nico blinked up at her. Reyna seemed to always be at attention, as was per usual for Roman praetors. Now she stood directly over him, blocking the sun, her posture ramrod straight, one hand on her sword.

"He's fine," Coach Hedge answered for him, leaning against his baseball bat like it was a cane. "Now, listen, cupcakes. There could be monsters on us in minutes, so we better get out of here as fast as we can."

Nico slowly turned his head to tiredly stare at the satyr. "If I don't get food and sleep, we're not going anywhere." Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw Reyna smirk, but when he glanced over, her face was impassive as ever.

The coach muttered something about going to find food for them, but Nico was too tired to listen. His eyes slowly closed, but he knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Not with Reyna standing over him like that.

"So this shadow thing," she said, kneeling in front of him. Nico opened his eyes, trying not to look too annoyed. "It really takes a lot out of you?"

Nico simply nodded, too exhausted to reply. Reyna seemed to get the hint and sat back on her feet, watching him. Nico closed his eyes again.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Nico sighed but kept his eyes closed. "You could let me sleep so that we can leave before a bunch of monsters show up to kill us."

After a few minutes without Reyna answering, Nico opened his eyes just a crack. Somehow she'd moved without making noise and was now leaning against a tree next to him. With her eyes closed, she almost looked calm. Sort of like a normal person.

Nico rubbed his face tiredly, realizing he wasn't gonna get any sleep any time soon. He reached into his jacket pocket to grab a pomegranate seed, plopped it into his mouth, and then pulled out a small vial of clear liquid.

"Want some?" he asked Reyna. She opened her eyes to look over at him and immediately raised her eyebrows, though more in curiosity than surprise.

Surprise did not seem to be an emotion Reyna was capable of.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Unicorn blood," Nico replied. He took a quick swig, just to prove it wasn't poison, then offered it again.

Reyna just stared at him. "Doesn't that turn you into a zombie?"

Nico just barely raised an eyebrow. "Who do you think I am, Voldemort?" When Reyna didn't respond, he took another sip of blood. "Nah, it's like..." the strength of the drink suddenly hit him, and he coughed for a minute, swallowing hard to keep it down. Once he recovered, his voice was hoarse. "It's like Greek vodka."

Still, Reyna hesitated. "I never really pegged you as an alcohol person," she told him.

Nico sighed and put the cork back in the vial, deciding she didn't want any for now. "What do you know? We've talked, like, four times."

"Six, actually," she corrected. When Nico looked over at her, eyes wide in surprise, she quickly explained, "I record all my meetings. We've never talked otherwise."

Nico nodded slowly. "Yeah... Speaking of which... You have yet to question-"

"The fact that you're acquainted to both Greek and Roman camps?" Reyna finished for him. Nico nodded, and Reyna shrugged. "No need to ask questions. You spend so much time at Camp Jupiter, obviously you were originally taken to Percy's camp simply because it was closer."

Nico took a minute to process her theory, then cleared his throat and started fiddling with the vial's cork. "Uh..."

"Is that not true?" Reyna asked him, frowning. "Why else would you know both sides?"

"My father..." Nico began slowly. He paused to uncork the unicorn blood and take a long sip. "Gods, why am I even telling you this?"

"You brought it up," Reyna reminded him. She turned away and faced forward, gazing down the hill they'd landed on.

Nico watched her for a moment, then sighed. "My father is Hades," he said. "The Greek god of the dead." Reyna narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him, but knew better than to interrupt. "Hades has never been... Shall we say, friendly with the other gods. Honestly, he hates most of them- or, at least, acts like he does. Unlike most of the other gods, he also doesn't have that much of a problem with his Roman self. Switching between Hades and Pluto still gives him a headache, of course, but he doesn't ignore Pluto's existence, as some gods tend to do."

"Is this going somewhere?" Reyna asked him.

Nico glared, though not specifically at her. "Eventually, yes."

"Continue, then."

"My father trusts me, for the most part, which as you know is rare for demigods." Reyna nodded. "I spend a good majority of my time in his domain, helping out with the souls and whatnot... Anyway, one day, I walked in on him while he was Pluto, showing some Roman into Asphodel or something, I don't even know."

Nico took a deep breath. "It was unnerving, to say the least. I'm sure it's hard for you to understand, since Bellona doesn't have a Greek form, but... It's like this. It was still my dad- I mean it wasn't like I was seeing some stranger in my dad's castle or anything- but he looked... different. Younger. You know what I mean?" Reyna nodded, but it was obvious she had no idea what he was talking about.

Nico sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. "My father is the king of death," he elaborated. "But as Pluto, I saw less death and more king."

"I see," Reyna said, actually sounding like she understood.

Nico nodded. "Anyway, he had no choice but to explain everything to me. Naturally, I asked if Pluto had any children."

"And he told you about Hazel?" Reyna guessed.

Nico stared at the ground for a moment, hesitating to answer. He took a swig of unicorn blood, swallowed hard, then rasped, "Yeah, something like that. Anyway, that's when I brought her to Camp Jupiter. I figured it was easier to pretend I was Roman than give away the Greeks. So I did."

"Wow," Reyna muttered.

Nico looked over at her. She was staring ahead, her face expressionless. Nico wondered what she was thinking.

"I'll take some of that vodka now," Reyna said.

Shocked, Nico stared at her for a moment, then handed her the bottle. He tried hard not to smirk.

Twenty minutes later, Nico was sprawled out on the grassy ground, staring up at the might of the Athena Parthenos.

Three empty vials of unicorn blood lay next to him, and a fourth was raised to his lips.

"Why don't you just tell Percy how you feel?" Reyna asked him from his other side, speaking slowly so as to keep from slurring.

Reyna, Nico had noticed, was a really hesitant drunk.

"You think he'd listen?" Nico laughed, taking another sip. "He's Percy freaking Jackson. He's gonna save the world, marry Annabeth, and live happily ever after. He's gonna forget about me."

Nico started to drink some more, but Reyna pried the vial out of his hand and took a swig herself. "Think how I feel," she ordered, the sage tone ruined by a hiccup afterwards. "I had Jason. He loved me. And then he went and lost his memories and started dating that stuck-up daughter of Venus."

"Aphrodite," Nico corrected, chuckling. "At least Jason had memory loss as an excuse. Stupid Percy still remembered Annabeth. I couldn't have gotten him to fall in love with me even if I'd tried."

"Ah, but you didn't try," Reyna reminded him.

Nico sighed. She handed him the vial and he emptied it in one sip. "You know, Reyna? You're fun."

"You too," Reyna said. "You have more vodka, right?"

Nico chuckled and pulled another vial out of his pocket.

"Did I ever tell you about my first sister?" Nico asked a little while later. Reyna shook her head. He sighed. "She was amazing. The only mother I ever had." He chuckled. "Gods, if she saw me now she'd be so mad."

Reyna looked over at him, but didn't say anything.

"She died," Nico continued somberly. "About four years ago. I used to blame Percy, but... I pushed her away. I was such an annoying little brother, she didn't want to deal with me anymore. She left for the Hunters of Artemis, and got herself killed on a quest. And then she was reborn. And now I'll never see her again."

Reyna stared at him for a moment, then decided, "You're too sad. You need more vodka, you're not drunk enough."

Nico chuckled and accepted the vial, his heart full of dread.

After another ten minutes, Coach Hedge still hadn't returned, and Reyna and Nico had gone past the stage of feeling sorry for themselves.

"Wait, wait, wait," Nico gasped, laughing as he rolled over to face Reyna. "You asked Jason to marry you?"

"I told him!" Reyna corrected, grinning. "And then he- he said-" she cut off, laughing louder and harder than Nico had thought possible.

If he'd been sober, he would've realized he'd never heard Reyna laugh before.

When the coach finally came back, his questmates were just barely conscious, surrounded by empty glass vials.

Coach Hedge stared, then sighed, then slammed his bat against a tree. Reyna and Nico sat up and drunkedly turned to look at him.

"All right," Hedge sighed. "Who brought the alcohol?"

Reyna immediately pointed at Nico, who grinned and shouted, "Greek vodka!"

Hedge shook his head. "Come on, cupcakes. Let's get you all sobered up."

Unfortunately, Hedge had not been able to find food edible for humans, but he had discovered a stream that he promptly dumped Reyna and Nico into.

Unicom blood was not actual alcohol so that method actually worked.

Once the two demigods were sober, soaking wet, and freezing (especially Nico who had barely any body heat in the first place), Coach Hedge sat them down to give them a long talk about underage drinking.

The conversation was cut short three times- once when Reyna pushed Nico backwards into the stream, again when Nico's lips started turning blue and they had to force feed him ambrosia before he froze, and lastly when three hellhounds and a dracena showed up and tried to kill them.

But eventually, Nico had managed to shadow-travel them and the statue a few miles west, had swallowed a few more pomegranate seeds and some nectar, and was now taking a short but much-needed nap before they got moving again. Coach Hedge had tried to give the speech to just Reyna, but she wasn't hearing it.

"You don't have to lecture me," she insisted. "We realize what we did was wrong."

The coach raised an eyebrow. "Do you? Listen, cupcake, I'm not mad that you two were drinking alcohol- I was a kid once, a long, long time ago- I'm just disturbed that you were in possession of it."

Reyna shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant about the matter. "Blame the kid, he brought the vodka."

Hedge frowned and glanced over to where Nico was resting. "Yeah, I need to talk to him about that..."

"Don't," Reyna warned him. "Unicorn blood isn't actual alcohol. It messed our brains up a bit, but I remember everything we said. I learned a lot about that kid... Anyway, just leave him alone. I'll take away the vodka vials if you want, but honestly I think he needs it."

Hedge nodded. "All right. Well, let's forget about it for now. After this whole business is over-"

Suddenly, Nico sat up, staring half-awake at them. "We ready to go?" he asked tiredly.

As they strapped the statue to his back, Reyna put a hand on his shoulder. Nico forced himself not to smile.

A/N: So, yeah, there's that. I hope you liked it. Please review!