Sam Puckett was sitting at her desk, she had been sitting there for two hours already and yet nothing had come to her. A pen and piece of paper were sitting in front of her; she was trying to write the letter she had put off for years, even though she knew it was too late to send. Finally she started to write
Dear Freddie,
Wow how many years have passed since I last said or wrote this, I love you? Today as I watched the sky melt from indigo, violet and fuscia to black I remembered our last night together under the stars. That night we talked and walked, we exchanged promises and we made love, slowly and lovingly. It was y first time, I did it because I loved you, and I still do. The night you left for Oxford was the day I died. I died as I went with you to the airport, I died when I walked with you through the terminal, I died when you embraced me and I died when you promised you'd call. You didn't call, did you? Because if you did I never received it, all I received was a text. It said
Dear Sam,
It's me Carly, remember? I hope you do, I wanted to let you know that Freddie is getting married. I know you still love him; I just wanted to warn you. Maybe we could catch up one day soon? I hope you do, I miss you.
Carly Shay
When I received the letter I thought I was having a nightmare, a terrible nightmare. I cried, not just once but every night since then, that was four years ago. What I ask you is why? Why did you marry someone else? Why did you promise to call? Why did it go wrong? Did you ever love me? Why did you break your promise to me? The promise, that you would love me forever. But you didn't, you left and forgot. So how's life now? Do you have kids? Have a good job? Well let me tell you about my life, I sleep with people for money, I live on the streets, I'm a recovering alcoholic and I have had more than a couple of abortions. I constantly feel dirty, no matter how hard I scrub my body I still feel dirty. I've felt that way since the first pregnancy, it was yours. That time I lost it, only 6 weeks along. Yeah you lost a child, you now know. I miss you, in the mornings I wonder the streets calling your name. When I work I imagine I'm with you, sometimes it works. I miss your chocolate eyes, oak hair and sweet smile. My heart pounds when I look at the single picture of you, the single picture I have left. I love you Freddie Benson, with all my heart, soul and mind. And I will forever and always.
Sam Puckett, the one you use to love.
That night Sam slept with another random man, he payed well, really well. She then spent the night whispering dirty words to him and slept with him once more. She finished at three that night, once she had left the man's house she headed to a shelter and paid some money to stay the night. She put the letter into her pocket and went to sleep feeling the weight of it.