Disclaimer: I can make Luke and Guy do whatever I want in what I write, but it doesn't mean I made them. Characters belong to the Namco Tales Studio.
Description: Post-Game. When "Luke" realizes that he has some serious doubts about marrying Natalia, Guy comes along to comfort him. But what if his 'comfort' only causes additional pain? Light boylove. Guy x "Luke"
Comments: GuyxLuke is probably my favorite pairing in TotA 'sides Jadist. The idea of In Character angst and making readers feel something from the text instead of just smut was impossible to pass up. C: This is probably my favorite fic of the 4 I've ever written. Pff. Yay fic newbs.
______________________________
My name is Luke,
And my name is Asch.
I have memories of two very different lives—lives going on in synchrony.
I am two persons in one body.
But my mind? My mind is very much my own.
Luke—as he'd decided to call himself, as it was the birth name of both of his previous selves—shifted against the cool, uneven cavern wall, drawing his knees up against his chest and propping his chin there. Listlessly—desperately—he turned his gaze on a rivulet of water, watched the clear, crystalline orb slide down the rock face, needing for anything to take his mind off the pressures of his life…but he was so was there to do?
He caught the silvery flash of a fish in the water, and wished his life was that simple. To have a short life without the worries of love, trust…and betrayal. Both of his lives had been a mix of both. He'd thought that once the final battle was over, his life would go back to normal. So then, why had it not? Things were worse than ever.
"Luke." The voice, the sound so familiar in this echoing cavern, jolted Luke from his thoughts. He tipped troubled green eyes in the direction of his friend, who continued, "Tear told me I could find you here."
"I needed some time to think." Luke returned as explanation, turning his gaze away from the blonde swordsman and watching the water again. This was his sanctuary, his refuge. It was the first place 'Luke' realized he was truly cared for. It was when he'd found Guy sitting there, not far off. Waiting. Guy hadn't abandoned him, and Luke was grateful. He depended on his childhood friend.
-&-
"Come on, Luke! You can do it!"
"I can't!" Luke threw himself to the ground in a tantrum, something a boy his age shouldn't do. "I can't do it."
Guy moved toward him and gently pulled him up by his underarms, and balanced the boy on his feet. Satisfied that Luke would not fall, he backed up a few paces and then stood again, hands on his hips. "Come on Luke," He started, with an encouraging, unendingly soft smile. "You'll never be able to walk again if you just give up."
Gritting his teeth, Luke took his attention from the cobble-stones and honed in on Guy's face. 'If I get over there, I'm going to hit him!' With newfound determination, he took a step…and then another, until Guy was just there in front of him. Just one more…! But his legs gave out, and the ground rushed up to meet him—until strong arms caught him, protecting him. All thoughts of hitting the teen had fled.
-&-
"Think?" Guy laughed, his voice slowly breaking into Luke's memories. "That doesn't sound like you."
Guy was leveled a look that was a mix between curiosity and annoyance. For a moment, the blonde looked confused, and then reached an epiphany.
"Sorry Luke. It's easy to fall back into thinking that it's just you—Luke—in that head of yours. I forget that Asch is in there too." And Asch was certainly a thinker—probably why this new Luke tended to be more irritable and brooding.
Luke rolled his lips in, waiting for Guy to go on, because he'd never been one to let Luke just sit and worry. And the fellow swordsman was quick in the uptake. He raised his brows in his characteristically questioning expression, encouraging Luke's honesty, but his blue eyes were gentle.
"Natalia." Luke mumbled. It was only a name, but the redhead knew that his friend would immediately understand. And when the 'Ahh' of understanding slid out on the breath of his friend's lips, Luke knew he'd been right. When Guy approached, Luke scootched over to make room for the older man on the ledge he'd made his own during the hours he'd been here.
"I take it that it's not planning the perfect honeymoon that has you out here brooding?" Guy joked, hooking one leg over the other and leaning against the rock wall behind him.
Luke laughed a humorless, guttural laugh that was all Asch. "No."
Guy folded his arms, his eyes on his toes, and drew his words out slowly. "Then…It's about your wedding to Natalia?"
When Luke was still silent after a few moments, Guy realized that was all the answer he was going to get from his friend. He chewed his lip thoughtfully. "Luke…What do you feel for Natalia?"
Again, that mirthless laugh. Guy had nailed the problem."Me? Or my past?"
Guy hesitated, careful. "Let's…Start with Asch."
Luke looked down, delving into the memories of his life as Asch.
-&-
It was dark, damp. Fitting headquarters for a slime ball like Dist. Asch rested his hand on the hilt of his sword, puffing out an annoyed sigh. It was true they needed to search the caverns for data that Dist had hidden, but was it entirely necessary that everyone come along? That stupid brat—what was her name, Anise?—would she ever shut up? She tugged on his tabard to get his attention and cooed up at him.
"Asch~ Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Tch." He tugged his attire out of her grip and looked annoyed, fighting embarrassment. After all, Natalia was there, just ahead of him. "No! And that's not any of your business."
Natalia didn't seem to have noticed their exchange—in fact, she was distracted by something up ahead.
"I wonder what those are…"He heard her mumble.
Monsters! Asch had gone from annoyance to fear in an instant—anxiety clawed at his throat, but he couldn't call out. So instead he rushed forward, fear for Natalia's safety fueling his instinct, and in a matter of seconds, the jelly-fish looking creature's remains were splattered across the stone floor.
"…Are you okay?" Natalia looked terrified—by the monsters or his heartless execution of them?
"Yes…Yes, I'm fine." Natalia took a breath, meeting his gaze. She smiled. "Thank you, Asch..."
With those words, something warm bloomed inside.
-&-
"Yeah…" Luke murmured, back in the present. "Asch loved her, he really did." It had been hard for the man to show it. After all, what did Asch really know of love? He hadn't been old enough to learn from example before he'd been taken away. And there had been no one in Van's life from which he could observe adult feelings. Asch had acted like the 7 year old boy who would pick on the girl he liked, because he had no idea how to properly show how he felt. "But then, I also think that he wasn't in love with her. All the love he felt was the love of a child, and he knew that, as a man, it wasn't the same."
Guy absorbed this silently. Then hesitantly, as if he almost didn't want to know, he asked, "And Luke?"
At Guy's hesitation, Luke paused. Why...Why was it that Guy seemed less open to hearing how 'Luke' had felt about Natalia, but didn't seem to mind how 'Asch' would have felt? Luke's brows furrowed curiously, but he decided to give his friend an answer, and thought into 'his' past for a moment.
-&-
What the hell was with Natalia, anyway? So stuck up. Why'd he ever agree to marry her in the first place? He supposed he must have had some reason to like her as a child—though he couldn't remember—but that didn't mean she needed to accost him about it every other minute. Luke shoved his hands into his pockets and looked annoyed. The conversations of the others drifted in one ear and out the other as he stewed, but then he finally dragged himself back to the present in time to catch their words.
"Hey, Van had nothing to do with it! So please, smooth things over with my uncle! Help save Van!" The latter words were directed at Natalia, who looked surprised at his sudden outburst. But then she nodded once, looking at him with those soulful, loving eyes. Luke shot her a wary look. No need to look so lovey-dovey, it was just a request.
"Understood. Since it's a request from you, Luke." She hesitated, and then her tone gentled, lost its authoritative flavor. "In return, please quickly remember your promise."
Luke's expression softened for the slightest of moments. He supposed he owned it to her…It wouldn't hurt to make an extra effort to try to remember, for her sake. Not that he hadn't been trying. But it obviously meant a lot to her. Suddenly, he remembered that everyone was watching and was irritated again. "I don't remember proposing to you as a kid at all!"
Natalia startled. "I know you've lost your memories. But it is destiny
for you to remember those words first!"
"Fine! Just get going and smooth things over with my uncle."
-&-
"Luke… never thought of her as anything more then a best friend in a childhood that he couldn't seem to remember" The 'new' Luke watched for Guy's reaction, but the older man gave nothing away.
Instead, the blonde shifted his weight and leaned back on his hands, blue eyes meeting green. "So, with that sorted out, what are you going to do?"
Luke sighed. "I wish someone would just tell me…" He leaned forward and hid his face in his palm, unconsciously scratching the stone floor with the toe of his boot. "Combined, the feelings of Asch and Luke for Natalia are nothing more then a beloved friend. But Natalia, she's wanted this—waited for this— her entire life. And now that I remember I…" Luke raised his face and again met Guy's gaze. "I feel like I owe it to her, you know? For causing her pain." He shrugged and turned away. "So, I told her father I'd marry her."
Guy nodded, raising a hand to grasp Luke's shoulder and turn him back around. "I think that's very mature of you, Luke." He told him seriously.
Something about Guy's grip—the warm, reassuring hand that had always been there for him—broke Luke inside. He jerked away, no longer looking lost or anxious, but angry. "I don't want to though! I hate it!" The words were raw, sounded like they'd been unwillingly ripped from Luke's heart. Here was the childish boy Guy had known showing through in the new man. "I don't want to be King. I can't! And I don't want to marry someone I don't love!" Fury surged, and Luke pounded his fist against the slab of stone he sat on.
Guy remained silent, riding out the storm. But he looked surprised; it was like 'Asch' and 'Luke' were warring inside. Asch, who until he'd been taken by Van, had always been fit to rule as king. Natalia had seen it, and so had Guy. Luke? Never. He hadn't the emotional stamina to rule a country; he couldn't even decide things for himself, let alone an entire nation. Guy would have thought that the two were, in fact, fighting for opposing decisions, but Luke had assured Guy that there were no separate persons inside him. 'Asch's' mind and 'Luke's' mind had peacefully combined into one. So then, what was disturbing Luke so much that he was so against marrying Natalia? Could it be…? Dare he hope?
Luke caught Guy's expression and looked away, embarrassed for his outburst. "Sorry."
Guy waiting for a moment until Luke's anger seemed to have passed and, looking to lighten the mood, he leaned on his hand toward the hopefully soon-to-be-king and teased, "So if you don't love Natalia, who do you love? Tear?" A grin.
"No." Luke looked uncomfortable, fidgeting away from the blonde and began digging the toe of his shoe into the rock ground again, but at a more agitated pace.
"Noelle?" Guy tried again, his brow raised. Again, Luke replied in the negative. "Then…Anise?" Guy inquired impishly, looking wickedly amused.
By now, Luke looked very uneasy, refusing to meet Guy's eyes. He dropped his hands from where he'd been cupping his chin between partially curled palms and fairly yelled, "No!" Then he turned away indignantly.
Guy laughed, leaning away and shaking his head. "Really, Luke. Everyone loves someone at some point. You don't need to be embarrassed!" Especially when he'd been so open about Asch's love-life a few minutes before. Why was he being so secretive and embarrassed now? "Well! Tell me who it is!"
Luke whirled on Guy, his brows contorted in a glare. Guy chuckled and opened his mouth to apologize, but then Luke was against him, firmly tasting, without giving him a chance to even take a breath. Groaning, the blonde fell back against the rock face and stared mutely—shell-shocked—at the redhead's determined, close-eyed expression. Delicious pleasure sluiced through him, sending pinpricks down his spine and increasing his desire for more. Guy began to lean into the kiss—but just then, Luke broke away, evidently thinking that he was trying to escape.
"Dammit. Sorry, Guy" Luke muttered, beginning to stand.
But apparently Guy had other ideas, because he caught Luke's hand and tugged him back. Having recovered from his shock, the fellow swordsman grinned and tipped his head. "You think you're getting off scot free after you just dropped that bomb on me?"
Luke looked surprised. Nevertheless, he let himself be brought back up against his friend—his real love—and fell into the kiss that was offered. Clinging to what he'd found in Guy, he reveled in the man's sensual affection, his slow, deep kisses. In his embrace, Luke wondered why he'd ever thought Guy would reject him—the boy, youth, man that had always been there for him. Everywhere the man touched—his face, his back, his sides—the shape of his hands seemed to skin into Luke's skin, forever marking him.
Something in the movement of Guy's mouth changed, slowed—became almost sad. The blonde broke away, murmuring Luke's name…to end it? He gently pressed his mouth against Luke's jaw, and then rested his forehead there, holding the redhead in a comfortable embrace. "Now I don't want you to marry Natalia."
Luke's heart slammed against his chest. "I don't have to…!"
But Guy was already shaking his head, setting them apart with the movement of his arms. "No, Luke." He slid out from beneath the man addressed and stood. "Marry Natalia."
The words didn't register at first. Marry…Natalia? But then they did, they hit him like a barrel. Real pain sliced through his heart, more cold and sharp then any sword wound. Why? Why her, when Luke had finally found something in Guy that both of his previous selves had been searching for? And Guy had been right there, all the time. Luke looked desperate, broken. "…Why?"
Guy's heart writhed inside him, but he didn't back down. Gently, he leaned toward his most precious and pressed a parting kiss to his brow. "Because it's what's right, and what's good." He slid a gloved hand along Luke's cheek, brushing the tear that threatened to fall, and then smiled softly. "I'll see you at your wedding."
Fin.