A first attempt at parody. I am not trying to flame the many wonderful people who have written about Maedhros; I am not even trying to be fair...

Disclaimer: Maedhros belongs to Professor Tolkien. "American Pie" belongs to Don McLean.

The Day Sirion Died
Confessions of a Self-proclaimed Maedhros-hater

(Verse 1)
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember how
Your story made me feel your pain.
And I thought if you heard the lament,
You would bow your head and repent,
And maybe you'll atone for that bloodstain.
But the sea wind made me shiver,
With every demand you'd deliver,
In that Haven on the shore,
Lived people you'd hurt before.
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about your hopeless pride,
But something changed me deep inside,
The day Sirion died.

So...

(Refrain)

Bye bye Maedhros my sexy guy,
I tried pity 'cause you were pretty
but the pity ran dry.
You said you were gonna stop but you didn't even try,
'Cause all your angst was just an empty lie,
All your angst was just an empty lie.

(Verse 2)
Did you make the Two Trees' light,
And do you believe in the eternal Night,
If the Oath tells you so?
Will they say I'm a jealous troll?
Can slash save your immortal soul?
Or are you just scared of the Darkness down below?
Well I know she was in love with you,
'Cause I heard her say your pain was true,
She was cryin' over your lost hand
Man, I gotta make my final stand
I was a lonely voice shouting "Shame"
When I saw your victims getting the blame,
But I knew I couldn't fight your fame
The day Sirion died.
I started singing...

Refrain

(Verse 3)
Now for an Age you've been on your own
And far too many died for that shiny Stone,
But that's not how it used to be
At Alqualondë history turned
You did nothing as the swan ships burned:
You made a self-righteous cynic out of me.
Oh, while you looked angsty and strong
Yet just kept on doing others wrong,
The fic archive was adjourned,
No penance was returned.
And while we said your face was fair,
Ran our hands through your nice red hair,
Sympathy for Elwing was all too rare
The day Sirion died.
We were singing...

Refrain

(Verse 4)
We said that Dior was under the Silmaril's hold
And Elwing jumped 'cause she was hard and cold,
Called you a criminal and gave you a hug.
When you repeated the murderous act,
I finally caught on to a simple fact:
You were nothing but a common robbin' thug.
Now the Valar's words were stern and true
But there's nothing more I could do
Maglor wanted 'nother chance
But you kept your foolish stance
'Cause you were mad and refused to cope,
Did all you could to kill his hope,
Do you recall the slippery slope,
The day Sirion died?
We started singing...

Refrain

(Verse 5)
So many writers of power and verve
Gave you the pity you didn't deserve,
Yet I'll cheer when you meet your end.
Now "Kinslayer" may sound like a dirty word,
But you were the one holding the bloody sword,
'Cause Morgoth couldn't find a better friend.
And you were but a lover on stage,
I just couldn't hold back my cry of rage:
No one can make a case
That gets past your gorgeous face.
And as the flames climbed high into the night,
To light up the innocents' plight,
I saw Melkor laughing with delight,
The day Sirion died.
He was singing...

Refrain

(Verse 6)
I met a woman wand'ring by the sea
And I told her she had love from me,
But she just wept and turned away.
I went down to the Silmfics list
Where I knew that justice did exist,
But the girl there said you left with Fingon for the day
And in the city the dying screamed,
The orphans cried and the fangirls dreamed.
But not a word was spoken,
Your guilt was only a token,
The people you killed were mere extras,
And everyone just wanted to make a pass,
Yet still evil was as evil does,
The day Sirion died.
And they were singing..

Refrain (2x)