A/N: So yesterday I overloaded my brain on Nick Jonas. I found this letter to Nick on Tumblr from back before the Nick J & the Administration CD was released and it was HILARIOUS. Anyway, but it had a link to an oh-so-sexy performance of "Stay" in it (and a few other very attractive Nick pictures) and I got inspiration for this story. For real I think my brain refused to function for a few minutes after all the Nick Jonas pictures I looked at. *shakes head* I'm too old to be looking at Nick Jonas. I'm 23. I should not find an 18 year old THIS attractive. I need to stop. ;)

Scared

by angellwings

Ella sighed and gulped as Caitlyn forced her to sit down next to her.

"You have to see this!"

"Caitlyn…"

"Ella, come on! You have to!"

"If this is another video of Connect Three, I swear to—"

"It's not another video of Connect Three."

Ella let out a relieved breath. "Good."

"It's a video of Nate."

"Caitlyn!" Ella whined. "You have got to stop!"

"No, I will not stop until you two crazy kids work this out," Caitlyn told her with determination.

Ella shook her head and stood up but Caitlyn grabbed her arm and yanked her down.

"You're going to watch this one, Ella. You need to see this. Peggy video taped the show and we immediately thought you had to see this."

Before Ella could try to walk away again Caitlyn pressed play on her computer. Ella let out a shaky breath. Nate looked good. Really good. His shirt hugged him perfectly. It was hard to be mad at him when he looked like that. And it wasn't even really that she was mad at him.

She wasn't. She was frustrated, but not angry. Frustrated that his schedule and her schedule never seemed to overlap in the right ways. They never saw each other, and Ella didn't want what happened to her parents to happen to them. The distance caused resentment and bitterness and now the two of them couldn't even look at each other. She didn't want that for her and Nate.

She refused to let that be her future. So the best option had been for the two of them to take a break. She hadn't wanted to, but she didn't see any other way. Only no one but herself and Nate seemed to be dealing with it well. They were all trying to get them back together.

All the time. She'd talked to Nate a couple of times since…the talk. It was awkward, sure. But he seemed to understand. He didn't like it, and he'd tried to assure her that what happened with her parents wouldn't happen to them, but he understood her fear at the very least.

The band started to play and Nate approached the mike stand. "This is something new. It's called 'Stay.' I hope you like it."

"It's hard to believe,
Where we are now.
Your hand in mine, babe,
Feels right somehow.
The night is so still,
So don't make a sound.
Cause its almost perfect,
So, promise you'll never look down."

Ella swallowed thickly and glanced away. His eyes were closed for most of the verse, and she knew what he was doing. He was imagining the person he wrote the song for. She smiled slightly. He always did that. He'd told her he enjoyed singing to his fans, but there were certain songs that he felt needed to be sung for only one person. She wondered who he'd written this one about. Whose face was he picturing behind those eyelids of his?

"We've had our past (I know),
let's leave that behind.
Cause none of it lasts,
All that we have is tonight.

Cause you're not the only one,
Who's ever felt this way.
Don't let the world cave in,
Just tell me that you'll stay."

Her brow furrowed and she paused the video. "Caitlyn…"

"Don't pause it now! It gets better!"

"Caitlyn, why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what to you?"

"This is torture! You're taunting me with what I can't have."

"Ella," Caitlyn scolded. "You already have him. You did hear the song, right?"

"What are you talking about?" Ella asked in confusion.

"This song, Ella. It's about you."

"What? No. No."

Caitlyn huffed. "Yes. Did you even listen to it?" Caitlyn reached over and violently pressed play again. "Listen to him this time."

"Now the pain is done,
there's no need to be afraid.
We don't have time to waste,
Just tell me that you'll stay.

Beautiful, one of a kind.
You're something special babe,
And don't even realize
That you're my heart's desire."

She tried to just listen and not look at his face. His expression pained her. It was sad and wounded. He was putting everything he had into this performance. She could tell. She took a deep breath and tried to push away her guilt. If this song was really about her then she was causing him pain. She didn't like that.

"All that I needed and more.
I know you're scared,
But I promise, babe,
I'm not who I was before.

Cause you're not the only one,
Who's ever felt this way.
Don't let the world cave in,
Just tell me that you'll stay.

Now that the pain is done,
there's no need to be afraid.
We don't have time to waste,
Just tell me that you'll stay."

The chorus repeated and Nate's performance became more and more desperate. Ella felt uncomfortable. She fidgeted in her seat until the video ended. He'd never said any of this to her. Not once. Why not? Why had he kept these feelings from her? She rubbed a hand across her face and then ran it through her hair.

Oh God, what had she done?

"You broke up with the love of your life. That's what you did."

Ella blinked at Caitlyn. "What?"

"You said that out loud."

"I want to be with him, Cait, I do, but I'm…I'm scared. I don't want to turn into my mother. I don't want to be bitter and cynical and pessimistic. I don't want to end up…hating Nate."

Caitlyn shook her head. "Why are you so convinced that you and Nate will end up like your parents?"

"Because…my mom and my dad never saw each other while they were married. Dad was always off performing or recording and mom was left to do it all. She told me it was the reason they got divorced. She resented him for not being there to help her or just be there at all. And Nate and I…we never see each other. I've got my schedule and he's got his and the two just never meet. What if I start to resent him or…he starts to resent me? I don't think I could take that, Caity," Ella said as she swallowed thickly. "I don't think I would survive it."

"Ella, you're not doomed to repeat your parents' mistakes. Your choices are your own, and if anything because you know what happened to your parents you'll probably be able to stop that from happening to you and Nate. You can get right what they got wrong. Besides Nate's not anything like your dad. He's dependable and has his priorities straight. No offense to your dad or anything—"

"None taken, you're completely right," Ella admitted. She sighed. "God, I am so screwed up."

Ella's phone rang and she hesitantly answered. "Hello?" Her eyes widened and she gave Caitlyn a pointed look. "…Nate? I was just hanging out with Caitlyn, why? Yes, at my apartment. You're where? Wha—why—I, um, sure! I'll, uh, let you in right now."

Caitlyn smirked at her. "Well, this just got really interesting. He's here? Now?"

Ella hung up the phone and nodded. She wordlessly left the apartment and headed down the stairs to the door to the building. She pulled the door open and gasped at the sight that greeted her. It was Nate. Soaking wet.

"Oh my God! Nate! How long have you been out here? Have you been out here in the rain all this time?" Ella fretted as she grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. "You're drenched!"

"I—was trying to work up the nerve to call you," He said honestly.

"Oh, Nate," Ella scolded. "You're going to catch a cold. You're lucky I still have some of your clothes upstairs. Come on."

She started to tug him up the stairs but he planted his feet and stayed put. "I'm not changing until we talk."

Ella's eyes widened. "But you can't stay in those clothes, you'll make yourself sick."

"Well, then I guess I'd be forced to take a few days off. It wouldn't be a terrible thing in my opinion. Maybe I'd actually get to see you."

Her shoulders sagged and she closed her eyes tightly. "Nate…"

"Ella, I love you, and I don't want to take a break. I never did. I don't care how we work it out. I just know that we will. You're it for me, El. There's no one else," Nate said softly as he laced his fingers with hers.

She pouted and smacked his shoulder. "If you would put on some dry clothes I could hug you right now, jerk."

He smiled warmly at her. "I'm not changing until you talk to me. I can't do all the talking here, Ella."

"You know I love you. That hasn't changed. And I want to be with you. I just don't want us to turn into my parents. It would kill me if we ended up like them," Ella told him with a shaky breath.

He squeezed her hand. "We're not them. We won't ever be them."

"But, Nate—"

"No, Ella," He shook his head. "I've spent so much time trying to convince your mother of this. I can't believe that I have to convince you too. I'm not Van Pador. Yes, I'm famous. Yes, I record music and tour with a band, but I'm not him. If you need me then I'm there. No matter what else is going on you come first. That's the difference. Your parents have problems, and it all stems back to the fact that you're dad wasn't in it till the end. He didn't give one hundred percent. That's not us."

"No, it's not us, and you don't need to convince me of anything. I know you're different than him. You're stable and dependable and responsible—"

"Wow, I sound boring."

Ella laughed before her expression grew serious. "No, you sound wonderful. You—you're my future. I'm just…scared. Terrified, really. You mean so much to me and I just miss you so much when I don't get to see you…"

He brought a hand up to her face and caressed her cheek. He leaned forward slightly. He didn't want to lean to close as he was still dripping, but he was close enough to cause her breathing to quicken. "I miss you too, Ella. So much that it hurts sometimes. And my feelings scare me too. I always worry that's some thing's going to happen to you while I'm gone and I won't be there to help you. More than anything I want to be here for you all the time and it kills me that I can't."

Ella pouted. "Damn it, Nate. Can you go put on dry clothes now? You keep saying amazing things, but I can't get too close to you without getting wet! Come on."

She tugged him up the stairs again, and this time he let her. "We're still not done talking you know."

She smiled softly at him. "I know."

The door to her apartment opened and they found Caitlyn smirking at them. "Well, hello, love birds. Geez, Nate. Did you drown?"

"Nice to see you again too, Cait," Nate smirked.

"Well, kids, I'm gonna go. Let you two have your alone time. See you guys later. Don't do anything stupid. Don't make me the girlfriend of an uncle, kay? Make smart decisions, people," Caitlyn told them as she gathered her things and squeezed past them in the doorway.

Ella rolled her eyes. "You know, you should maybe listen to your own advice, friend. You do remember Sander's wedding, right? The morning Mitchie stumbled across you and Jason in his hotel room?"

"Psh, that was totally a smart decision," Caitlyn scoffed. "And I totally wasn't the slightest bit buzzed."

"Too much information, Cait. Really. I didn't need to know that," Nate said with a shake of his head.

"Hey, I didn't say anything. Ella did," Caitlyn said pointedly.

Nate quirked a brow at Ella. "Thank you for that."

Ella chuckled. "You're welcome. Goodnight, Caitlyn."

"Okay, okay. I'm gone," Caitlyn said with a smirk as she walked away.

Ella shut the door and then led Nate back to her guest room. She opened the top drawer in the dresser and handed him a dry pair of boxers, flannel pajama pants, and a thin white t-shirt. "Now, change. Before you get sick. I'll have a towel for you when you're done. Your hair is still dripping."

"Why did you keep these?" He asked. They were most definitely his. "After we broke up you could have…sent them back."

Ella blushed. "They reminded of you. I didn't want to give them back. They—they still smell like your cologne."

His expression grew serious and his eyes drifted to her lips. He absent mindedly licked his own lips. He cleared his throat. "I—I need to change. Very quickly."

Ella nodded. "I—I'm just gonna go get that towel and…wait for you in the living room." Nate was changed before Ella had even returned to the living room with a towel. Her eyebrows lifted when she saw him and she grinned. "That was fast."

"I'm used to quick changes, remember?" He asked with a smirk.

"Right," Ella grinned. She tossed the towel at him and rubbed the towel over his hair. He stopped when he was certain his hair wasn't dripping and draped the towel over the back of one of Ella's dining table chairs.

"There, I'm dry. You happy?" He asked.

She smiled and immediately wrapped her arms around his torso. "Extremely."

Nate returned the embrace and rested his chin on top of her head. He breathed in the vanilla scent of her shampoo before pulling back and placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "I missed you."

She sighed contentedly. "I missed you too."

"Ella, please tell me that tonight has changed your mind? I don't want to keep up this stupid 'break.' I just want to be with you," Nate whispered against her forehead.

Ella closed her eyes. "Our break is definitely over. I don't care what else happens; we'll just take it as it comes."

Nate pulled away and met her eyes. "So, we're back together?"

Ella nodded. "We're back together."

He brought his lips to hers and cupped both sides of her face as he deepened the kiss. Ella wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Nate moved his hands from her face to her waist. His arms wrapped around her and his hands flattened against her back as he pressed her against him even tighter. He could feel Ella's legs about to give out, and he slowly maneuvered them to the couch. He broke apart from Ella for just a second in order to sit down and haul her down onto his lap.

Ella whimpered as she felt Nate's tongue run across her teeth. Nate held her as close to him as he could and continued to kiss her until it was clear they both needed to catch their breath. They pulled apart and Ella rested her head on his shoulder for a minute before looking up at him. Her cheeks were very red as were her lips and her hair looked slightly wild. He grinned proudly at her. She looked like that because of him.

"Why did we break up again?" Ella asked with a lazy smile.

He laughed. "If you don't remember then I'm not going to remind you."

She chuckled and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "You're a very smart man."