INSPECTOR: WHOOHOO! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! I am so awesome!
RINA, BUTTONS, NICKY: You are! Yes you are! And today is even more awesome since it's your day!
KYO: Blah!
INSPECTOR: I would love to thank all of you who have favorite my stories, followed me, and commented! The fact that I have not yet received any flames warms me to the cockles of my heart. (pun intended.) It's wonderful to see avatars both old and new on my comment's page…now if only more of you would review gosh darnit!
KYO: Oh shut it you old ass mountain troll! No one wants to listen to an ancient relic drone on!
INSPECTOR: *bursts out into tears* Why are you so mean to me!? You k-know I-I'm insecure a-about m-m-my aaagggeeee! Wah!
RINA, BUTTONS, NICKY: Shush. It's okay Inspector. You look great! You're smart and intelligent and good looking. Sh.
INSPECTOR: Keep that mean chibi away!
RINA: Kyo I know you did not just diss the Inspector's age! You know better that you don't talk that way. He be sensitive about that. Looks like I'ma have to remind you in a…different way chico.
KYO:…Oh F(CENSOR)! *Clang!*
RINA: *cleaning off a pipe*.
It was a pretty normal day over at Jump City Kindergarten. The day was cold, the wind was blowing, it looked like it might rain. And Zeek was creeping along the hallways…okay…so maybe such a normal day.
The cinnamon haired teen nervously prowled the hallways. His chocolate brown eyes wide. So far, so good. None of his students had caught sight of him yet. He knew he should have just stayed home.
Finally, he was almost in the classroom…his students had the attention span of a gnat on acid…so maybe they wouldn't remember. Somewhat renewed by his little pep talk, the teen was about to grab for the door when a loud voice from behind startled him.
"ZEEK! HA-"
With ninja-like reflexes, Zeek slapped a hand over the mouth of his hyperactive giant of a best friend. Dragging the now bleached blonde down so that he was eye level-which was a feat in and of itself- the boy hissed into the frightened crimson eyes "You utter one more syllable and I'll have you killed."
Then he released his best friend since twenty-three minutes old. Parker, said best friend, rubbed a hand across his face with a wince. "Jeez Zeek! It's no big deal! It's just our-"
Another slap to the face had the giant rendered rather speechless. "Let me put it like this. If my students were to remember or find out what day it is…well…you remember the FanGirl Incident of '08?"
Parker shivered, feeling ghostly fingers clutch onto him at the reminder. The squeals of crazed fangirls echoing in his head. That was a horrific experience. "That bad!?"
Zeek simply stared up at him, "Possibly worse."
Parker gulped audibly. "O-kay! So we don't mention what today is."
His friend nodded. "Right."
"You're still coming over for cake though right?"
"Of course! I'll bring the candles."
"Okay!"
And with that, the two opened the door, never expecting the madness that lay behind it.
…
"Hey, Zeek? Why are the lights off?"
Just as the boy was about to answer, the lights were flicked on, and Zeek was swarmed by rampant kindergarteners. All fighting to give him a hug first while shouting "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZEEK!"
And this was why today was not such a normal day…because today was Zakiasu Izanami's birthday…and by extension Parker Martin Ditko's birthday as well…
Parker stood there pouting. Why weren't the students saying "Happy Birthday" to him? Granted he wasn't their high school helper…but…but…he did come over and play with them…and this is how they treat his expressions of love!? Well fine! They could all just be that way.
When they were finally finished with their hugs (read Torture) Zeek was a little worse for wear. His once perfectly combed hair was in shambles, his hoodie had holes in it, and his breathing was coming out erratically.
Parker almost found it in himself to feel sorry for him. Till he remembered that the kids hadn't wished him a happy birthday. So Zeek justly got what he deserved.
Little hands grabbed onto Zeek's clothing as he was led to a chair placed in the middle of their story time rug. Parker being left on the outside.
"We got pwesents for you ZEEK!" An excited BB shouted, temporarily deafening the poor teen.
"Thank y-you Beast Boy. That was very kind of all of you…"
A chorus of 'me first's' greeted the teens ears. The only thought running through his head being, why is this happening to me? Parker on the other hand, who was standing outside of the circle with no kids fighting over his attention, only had the thought of; why isn't this happening to me?
Finally, Zeek said that they would go in alphabetical order, and if there was any more fighting, so help him he would take their recess away. Momentarily subdued, they stopped. And with a triumphant shout, Beast Boy happily got up to give him his 'pwesent' first.
Placing a biccon on his neck, the toddler jumped up, morphing into a puppy, and landed on the teen's lap.
Catching the murderous expression on Raven's face, Zeek quickly placed the changeling on the ground. "It's a nice thought BB, but I don't think I could take you home as my pet puppy."
Raven smiled. Yeah. Because he's my puppy.
BB, a bit dejected nodded as he changed back. But brightened when Zeek said he loved the home made card. Bee gave him a large jar of honey, which she said her grandma and her had made extra special. An empathetic thank you was given before the next student clambered to give him their present.
Cyborg happily gave Zeek his present. Gently prying off the wrapping paper, the teen discovered a welding torch…With a thank you, Zeek moved on to the next toddler. Dick happily got up and waited for the teen to open up his present.
Eyeing the bat themed wallpaper with growing humor, Zeek pried it off to discover a bat themed nightlight. "I have one just like that in my room!" Leaning in, Dick whispered conspiratorially, "It's ta keep ta monsta's away!"
Another thank you, and Zeek was subjected to the Gizmo's gift…which turned out to be a rather large mechanical spider on which Zeek could ride to school. Parker looked on with jealousy. Why didn't he get a mechanical spider? Zeek didn't even like spiders!
Student after student gave him their presents. Crayons for coloring. Coloring books for the coloring. Stuffed animals to hold when he was scared. A pair of sunglasses for coolness factor. Lots and lots of drawings. Wally gave Zeek a First Place Ribbon the little speedster had won. While Jinx had one upped by giving away the rather dubious gift of a lock of Wally's pretty red hair…yeah he didn't know how she got that either…
Kori gave him a stuffed silk worm that was Silky's big brother. His name was Moony! Gifts upon gifts. Raven had waited patiently to give Zeek her gift. And when the last toddler left, she shyly handed him her's.
With a bright smile, Zeek opened Raven's gift to see a ten dollar gift card to Barnes N' Noble. That was probably the most thoughtful gift he had gotten all day. With one last empathetic thank you, Zeek release his students for recess.
Getting up stiffly, Zeek turned to see that his best friend since birth was not only pouting, but glaring at him. "Parker, why are you giving me that look?"
But Parker chose to ignore him. Frustrated, Zeek pinched the bridge of his nose to stop the headache he felt coming on.
This was going to be a long day.
…23 minutes later…
As the kids came in, they all swarmed one still pouting Parker. With bright smiles and tight hugs they shouted, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY PARKER!"
Surprised, Parker allowed himself to be dragged down to the floor, where the students fought over who got to give their gift first. But their argument was forgotten when Parker asked what was going on.
Bewildered faces greeted his statement until BB piped up "It's your birthday!"
"You remembered?" Parker asked hopefully.
They all nodded. "O'course! We just wanted to wait since we knew tat Zeek was born twenty-twee minutes before ya. At least that's wat Ms. Arella said…"
And with a bright grin, Parker was subjected to the process Zeek had just escaped.
With a sigh, Zeek closed his eyes. Today was definitely going to be a long day.