Chapter 1: And I think to myself... what a not-so-wonderful world

The year was 2040, on the birthday of Poof FairyWinkle-Cosma. He was now thirty years old, the age where, if he never has kids, he will stay looking the same forever.

Fairy ages are a little complicated. When a fairy baby is born, he or she will age about the same rate humans do. But once they hit the age of 30, they will stay looking like a 30-year-old forever, unless they have any kids. Then, when their kids grow older, they will grow to look simular to a 60-year-old human, except without wrinkles. Even if they become great-grandparents, they will still look only about 60.

But anyway, back to Poof's birthday. Except it wasn't even really much of a birthday except for Anti-Wanda maxing out Anti-Cosmo's credit card on little kid toys and decorating the house.

"Wow, um, thanks." Poof said, looking around.

"Yer welcome Poof!" Anti-Wanda said, happy that there was finally someone who appreciated her work.

"Goody-two-shoes!" Foop mumbled to Poof. "You do realize that this room looks decorated for celebrating the birthday of a three-year-old, don't you Mother?"

"Don't yall be rude to me! I worked hard on all of this!"

"It isn't bad to be polite, you know." Poof said to Foop. He sat on the couch and turned on the tv.

"Anti-fairies aren't polite Poof."

"I'm not an Anti-fairy."

"Could have fooled me. How many years in Abacatraz for that little secret fairy convention disaster? Five, ten..."

"Fifteen."

"Ah yes, fifteen! Fifteen years in the slammer. Not bad for a beginner."

Poof looked back on his life. Most fairies would say it was the stress of holding the Secret Fairy Convention for the first time at 15 that changed Poof. But they are wrong. It was before that, back when he was seven years old. Timmy was almost turning 18, and Cosmo and Wanda knew the day was coming. But Poof didn't.

"Timmy!" Poof appeared in front of Timmy. "Wanna play?"

"Yawn, not really." He sat on the couch and turned on the tv.

"Please? We can play tag! And I'll turn into a human so it's fair!"

"Oh, no Poof!" Wanda poofed in the room. "You're not allowed to turn into a human! You know that!"

He knew that. He wasn't supposed to turn into a human, or watch human tv, or eat human food. It might "give him bad ideas", as Wanda put it. When he was one, he had fallen in love with a human baby, and things went spinning out of control. Eventually Wanda, Timmy and Cosmo came up with a plan to get him back, but it broke his heart. He was fooled into thinking Marie kissed someone else.

"Mom, why won't Timmy play with me?"

"He's... uh... busy!"

"Watching tv?"

"Yes! It's for... um... homework!"

"He's watching Family Guy."

"Um... well... uh.. he's doing a report on adult shows!" Right after she said that, Timmy laughed and said "Haha! I'm so glad I can just sit here and watch tv since I made Elmer do my homework!"

"Mom, what's going on?"

"Nothing Poof! Let's go to Mama Cosma's house!"

Cosmo and Wanda took Poof to Mama Cosma's house and told him he was going to stay there for a few weeks. On week seven, Poof got really worried because Timmy's birthday was coming up and his parents hadn't come for him yet. On Timmy's birthday, Poof had Timmy's present ready: a heart chrystal neclace that would make Trixie fall in love with Timmy. It was against fairy rules to make them, so he had looked for a genie and found one and made the wish, just for Timmy.

Then the day after Timmy's birthday, Poof was told that Timmy was no longer his godbrother.