A/N: Set just after the scene in HPB in the hospital wing where the Weasleys were gathered to comfort Bill and Fleur, and Tonks reveals her feelings for Remus in front of the others. One-shot.
A/N 2: I went back through and edited this because I found some appalling word choice that I shall blame on the late hour in which this story was written. Hopefully some of the more obscure parts have been clarified, and will be a much smoother read.
Won't Waste a Minute
All this feels strange and untrue,
And I won't waste a minute…without you.
Her heavy-booted feet clomped leadenly as the young Metamorphagus trudged through the familiar halls of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The silence that pervaded the area was stifling and unnatural after the chaos of the evening's battle. The paintings on the walls, normally snoring loudly or talking in their sleep, instead were either silent or could be heard weeping softly. She turned a corner and wondered idly if a Dementor had snuck into the castle as a shiver stole up her spine and the air suddenly became much colder. However, she realized that it was because she was walking through an open area of the castle where there were no glass panes in the windows, only open air.
She passed a closet in which she'd had her first snog ever with a boy whose name she couldn't quite remember, only to be caught by Bill Weasley and given detention with Hagrid for a week. She grinned a little at the memory, how she'd sworn off boys for a very long time after that, since all they seemed to do was get her in trouble.
It's too bad she hadn't kept that oath.
The grin fell from her face as she hung her head, suddenly remembering why her hair was brown instead of any other color she felt like having at that moment, and inevitably, her thoughts turned to the man she'd left in the Hospital Wing with the Weasley family.
The memory of his kisses, so tender and yet so passionate, made her heart ache with a pain that could only be described as unbearable. Yet, here she was, carrying the weight of it, somehow still plodding along, surviving. Her knees felt like they were going to give way at any moment.
Somehow, her feet carried her up the winding steps all the way to the top of the Astronomy Tower, where she stood frozen in surprise when she became conscious her surroundings.
Dumbledore…
My bones ache, my skin feels cold,
And I'm getting so tired, and so old.
A cool breeze swept over the tower, carrying with it the beautifully tragic lament from the Phoenix, his heartrending song adding to the burden she already bore. She walked to the edge of the rampart and stood looking out over the massive grounds, silent tears leaking from her silver eyes. The Black Lake was calm and still. Even the Whomping Willow seemed to droop despondently. She turned her eyes skyward, searching for the Canis Lupis constellation, hoping to catch a glimpse of the star Sirius on its nose, but knowing she could never find it because she'd gotten Trolls in Astronomy.
Remus had always been the one to be able to point it out to her.
After minutes of searching in vain, she settled for watching some thin clouds veiling the sliver of the moon.
She felt cold and empty. She might as well have been on the lunar surface, she felt so barren.
So many losses…So many terrible losses. Would the Order be able to recover from this? Sirius' fall through the Veil had been so hard on them all (with the exception of Snape, though he'd kept his sniping to a minimum around Remus and herself), and now…They would never see those light blue eyes twinkling behind half-moon spectacles ever again. She didn't know what would happen, what the future would hold.
And the worst part was she would have to face it alone.
Sure, she had comrades in arms, colleagues…But the people she'd counted as friends had either died or had been pushed away by her year's worth of depression. She had no one to blame for this but herself. She leant heavily on her hands resting on the cold stone ledge and clenched her hands into tightly balled fists.
"Why did you leave?" She whispered to the wind. Her chin dropped to her chest, the tears now a steady stream falling onto her cloak, darkening the fabric where they fell. An overwhelming feeling rose in her, defiance, passion, rebellion…
The anger swells in my guts,
And I won't feel these slices and cuts.
"WHY
DID YOU LEAVE?!" She screamed hoarsely at the sky, wishing it was
storming instead of tranquil, so the weather would reflect her inner
turmoil. "Don't leave me here all alone!" Her legs finally
gave in, and she found herself on her knees, leaning into the wall
for support, repeatedly pounding on it with the side of her fist.
"Please…Don't leave me…" A sob burst from her and the
remaining pieces she'd managed to hold together fell apart.
"…Please…"
Warmth suddenly covered her back as a heavy worn coat was laid carefully over her, and two warm hands held her firmly by the shoulders and twisted her so her back was against the wall.
I want so much to open your eyes,
'Cause I need to you to look into mine.
The pain in her eyes was killing him. It had been slowly killing him every time her saw her over the past year, since he'd told her he was going to live in a Werewolf colony. He knelt there, his hands on her shoulders, facing her square on. As recognition registered on her features when she realized who was comforting her, her features contorted with rage.
He didn't have time to react as she launched herself at him headfirst, his overcoat falling from her shoulders as she forced him to fall backwards and land on his bum. She flailed violently against him, attempting to pummel his chest in anger and frustration, tears spilling down her pale cheeks. In an effort to stop her, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer and harder, trying to quell the tempest of her fury. She fought him for a few moments, pushing and shoving and hitting, but when she realized there was no escape, she sagged against him, surrendering.
They sat there like that for a while: her crying into his chest, sitting curled between his legs and gripping his worn brown jumper with a death-grip; he holding her there silently, chin resting on her hair, rocking back and forth slightly, comfortingly. He waited patiently for her sobbing to abate and for her to relax before he spoke.
"I…am so sorry, Nymphadora," he breathed against her ear, her fine brown hair tickling his cheek. She tensed again, as though holding back more sobs that were threatening to escape. The words fell flat in his own ears, sounding hollow and empty. They would never be enough to make up for the way he'd treated her.
Never enough.
But, damn it all, he had to try.
Tell me that you'll open your eyes.
"I know…that I've told you I'm too old, too poor, and too dangerous…" At his words, he heard a sharp intake of breath as she prepared to retort, so he hurried on in order to stymie any negative response. "But I was thinking about…" He swallowed against a hard lump in his throat. "D-Dumbledore." His voice cracked and his eyes burned with unshed tears. "He...told me once that love is the greatest magic of all." He felt her body go rigid as she held her breath, her grip tightening into a vice on his jumper. "And I think that is what separates us from the Death Eaters: our capacity to love." He gently removed the hand resting on her waist and brought it up under her chin to softly nudge her tear-stained countenance up to face his.
Get up, get out, get away from these liars,
'Cause they don't get your soul, or your fire.
Her eyes were bright in the starlight, twinkling like there was a whole other universe inside of her made up of her thoughts, her emotions, a vast and infinite space filled with love.
For him.
"I love you," he whispered, surprising himself with how easy it came out. Her lips parted as she gasped, and he took the opportunity to kiss her. He was instantly flooded with memories of all the other times they'd kissed, how it had been before. But he'd always been reserved back then, just giving in to temptation. Now he kissed her wholeheartedly, absolutely, pouring himself into it with every ounce of his soul.
Her response was stalled at first, stunned he supposed by the way things had changed, how he had changed, but she recovered quickly and kissed him with all the fervor she could muster, meeting his passion head on.
Not unlike how she'd tackled him earlier.
They were like that for ages, reveling in this newfound freedom of expression, enjoying new feelings and sensations, and just being together. Fully and truly together. Then she shivered and goose bumps rose up on her exposed skin and he kissed her one more time before disentangling himself from her and standing, albeit wobbly, as pins and needles poked his sleeping limbs.
He held out his hand to her to help her up.
Take my hand knot your fingers through mine,
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time.
As he pulled her up, he pulled her against his chest and hugged her, trying to reassure her with the gesture that he meant it. He meant what he'd said, the kiss, the promise. Hand still in hers he walked over and retrieved his overcoat from where it had fallen and draped it over her shoulders, then pressed a kiss to her forehead and rubbed her upper arms to try to warm them up. She smiled up at him, wide and brilliant, and his heart swooped with the feeling he'd been holding back for what seemed like an eternity.
It felt so, so good.
Every minute from this minute now,
We can do what we like anywhere.
He held out his hand to her, and they walked slowly back down the stairs into the castle. She tried to stifle a yawn, but he noticed out of the corner of his eye and chuckled, thinking to himself she was so beautiful without even realizing it.
It was at that moment she stubbed her toe and pitched forward, and he barely caught her arm in time, nearly falling with her as he attempted to steady them. She blushed furiously, and he watched, fascinated, as it crept higher and higher. He smiled down at her as he ran his fingers through her hair.
She looked up at him, the hope in her eyes a light that he'd been afraid he'd extinguished for all time.
Relief rushed through him like water breaking a dam.
I want so much to open your eyes,
'Cause I need you to look into mine.
"You're pink," he told her, a wide grin splitting his handsome features. She returned his grin with her own impish one as she scrunched up her nose in the attempt to morph something, anything. She did the first thing that came to mind.
Remus' uninhibited laughter that rang off the stone walls around them told her she'd been successful, and she joined in, snorting and guffawing in a way that went well with her pig snout.
If anyone had walked up on them in that moment, they would have thought the pair of them gone mental.
Tell me that you'll open your eyes.
Tell me that you'll open your eyes.
"Change it back," Remus insisted once the laughter had died away and they were left staring at each other, smiling. She cocked her head to the side and put a hand on her hip.
"Why?"
"Because, it would be rather hard to kiss you with a nose like that." If it was possible, her smile widened even more, and her face felt sore after using all the muscles that had been neglected for nearly a year.
"I think you should at least try," she said challengingly. He grinned mischievously and leant in to kiss her, and at the last second she morphed her nose back to normal and he stopped to look at her, a playful twinkle in his eye. He gave her a brief peck and then pulled away suddenly, as though stung. "Is something the matter?" She asked hesitantly searching his eyes anxiously.
"Just checking," he said nonchalantly and he appeared to examine her nose very closely. She smacked him on the side of the arm and giggled, glad to see his Marauder traits were still intact after a year's worth of disuse. He leant in to kiss her again and as he did so she took his breath away.
"I love you."
All this feels strange and untrue,
And I won't waste a minute…without you.
A/N: First songfic. Lemme know what you think. ) The song I used was by Snow Patrol – "Open Your Eyes", and all except the idea and the song belong to JKR.
I own nothing, and make no profit from this drivel.