Okay, so…for the previews for tonight's episode, episode 3 of Season 6, Dean said he was going to call Cas. And Cas shows up. But in the first episode, Sam said Cas hadn't been answering his prayers. So why does he answer for Dean?

Just a small something that popped into my mind while listening to the song 'World Turns' by Secondhand Serenade. Enjoy! Please review!

I Still Feel the Same

Heaven was quiet. Normally, that was good. It was supposed to be quiet and peaceful. But life with the Winchesters had left Castiel feeling used to constant bickering, loud noises, shouting, and the sound of gunfire. Being without all of that was certainly a change, and at first, he had thought about leaving Heaven again to go back to Dean, even though the elder Winchester probably didn't want to see him again any time soon, after the way he'd left. It wasn't as though Castiel had meant to leave so suddenly, though. No, he had only thought it best and he hadn't known what else to say. It had been clear, in the Impala after Sam had fallen into the cage with Lucifer and Michael who had been in Adam, that Dean was supremely angry.

And Castiel hadn't known quite how to handle it, as though Dean were angry at him as well, and he'd never been very great at handling his charge's anger. So he'd left, which, thinking back on it now, probably hadn't been the best choice where Dean was concerned.

Even so, he checked in on the human every so often. He was happy with Lisa and Ben, having a somewhat normal life even if the loss of his brother was still sharp within him. He was living and laughing. Castiel missed his laugh and the sound of his voice - really, he did. It wasn't as though Dean had laughed all the time when Castiel had been with the Winchesters. No, the laughs had been few and far between, but when they had happened and had appeared truly and honestly, sincerely, then he knew Dean had meant it. And they were usually always happy laughs Dean had these days, with Lisa and Ben.

A part of Castiel wanted to be the reason Dean was laughing, like when they had gone into that bar that one night, when Castiel had thought it was to be his last on Earth. Even though Castiel had been greatly confused at the time, what with the anger that girl had shown after he'd told her about her father and the post office and with the way Dean had laughed afterward, it had been nice to hear him laugh. It had been real - not fake.

It had felt nice, being able to help his charge like that. But it was more than that, Castiel knew. He had a certain fondness for the Winchester that he couldn't quite explain. He did not feel it for anyone else, not even his Father. He loved his Father greatly, dearly, and all of his brothers and sisters here in Heaven, but it was different. He did not think of them as he did his charge.

Castiel had taken notice of the feeling right before Dean had tried to say 'yes' to Michael, right before he'd tried to give up everything they had been fighting for. That had definitely felt like betrayal. God had been missing and hadn't wanted to be found, and Dean had been all the angel had had left, and then suddenly he'd tried to throw it all away as well and give in. Castiel had to admit he might have gone a little overboard in hitting Dean as he had at the time, but it had felt necessary. He had wanted the human to ache as he had when Dean had banished him from that room.

From what he had seen of humans and the Winchesters, one only got so angered and behaved as such when love was involved. Though Castiel was an angel, at the time, he'd been becoming more and more human. He'd been experiencing emotions, the foremost anger and hurt and betrayal, mostly for his Father, but then for Dean as well when he went and tried to ruin everything by saying 'yes'.

And afterward, he'd realized that niggling emotion at the back of his mind, always present but never truly acknowledged until then.

Love.

For Dean.

Dean Winchester, of all the humans in the world, had managed to make the angel love him. As obnoxious and rude as he sometimes seemed, he had managed to cause the angel to rebel from Heaven for him and get killed, not only once but twice. For him. Because he'd asked him to.

If that wasn't love, then Castiel didn't know what was.

He'd never told Dean, though. Probably never would, really. He doubted he would ever talk to Dean again, really. Jimmy's body had been destroyed, over and over, but had been brought back by God twice. When Castiel had returned to Heaven, he had finally allowed the body to go to rest, Jimmy's soul already at peace in the arms of the Lord. So even if he did manage to really get back to Dean, he wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't appear the same.

It would be different.

Even though he'd returned to Heaven to take charge of the mess it had undoubtedly become due to the absence of Michael, he hadn't forgotten how he felt about the human. Even though it had mostly been Jimmy's body allowing him to feel the sensations of touch and wonderment, he knew it was him that had mostly reacted to it.

He still loved Dean, even in Heaven. Even though he was an angel who wasn't technically supposed to feel, not like humans did anyway, he knew what he felt for Dean. He knew it was still present, still in the back of his mind.

Sam was back, now. Dean didn't need him anymore. His brother would return to him one day and the two would be together again, Castiel was sure.

He knew Sam was back because he had felt his prayers, had felt it when he was yanked from Hell even though no one was sure why. The angels were mostly baffled and those that might have known something certainly weren't talking. He felt the urge to go to Sam but managed to stop himself. It wasn't that he necessarily hated the younger Winchester, it was just that he wasn't supposed to leave Heaven randomly, not when he was trying to put things back in order now that Michael was gone.

This new respect he got among the angels was certainly…strange, to put it mildly. He wasn't used to it and doubted he ever would. After having gone from a normal, soldier angel to a rebel who was running from Heaven and its army, and then to a highly respected angel was completely breathtaking, if angels needed to breathe. He liked the attention and respect, but sometimes…

Sometimes he missed being who he used to be. An angel on the run, staying with the Winchesters in the fight for the world. Team Free Will.

Every time he thought about it, a smile crossed his mostly nonexistent face. Angels didn't necessarily have a body or a form, but even so, they could smile. Warm feelings consumed him when he thought about those times. Sure, he'd been restored as an angel by God after the fight with Lucifer, but he had kept his memories, feelings, and emotions. He was kind of like a human angel now. The emotions of a human and yet the power of an angel.

Maybe that was what God had wanted all along. Who was to say?

He knew he felt them, though. The foremost being love. For Dean. Only and always for Dean. He didn't think it would ever go away, and a part of him prayed it didn't. What set him apart from all those other angels if he didn't have those feelings for Dean? If he didn't have Dean?

Maybe it was wrong for an angel to think like that, but he thought it nevertheless.

Heaven was lonely.

He missed Dean. There was no getting around that. No one in Heaven called him Cas, and he never thought he would actually miss that nickname, but he sure did now. He missed the way Dean said it, the subtle smile in his voice each time he spoke the name, as though it were a hidden secret between the two of them. Castiel missed it all and he wasn't sure he would ever get it back. Dean was human. He would die one day, and the thought hurt, for the most part, even though Dean would surely come here, to Heaven, when the time came. He hoped it wasn't soon but at the same time, he did.

He missed Dean.

Dean never called for him, though, didn't even seem to want him to come. Didn't seem to be thinking about him all, happy with Lisa and Ben. From what he could see from Heaven whenever he checked on them, Dean was happy, laughing, smiling, being like a father to Ben…he would make a great Dad.

Lisa and Ben were lucky to have him. And Dean was lucky to have Lisa and Ben. Castiel was lonely, though - he couldn't be there. He was here, in Heaven, and Dean was down there, with them.

So he watched, and waited, lending help when he could, silently trying to be close to his former charge even though his place was in Heaven, with his brothers and sisters, while Dean's place was down there with Lisa and Ben.

And then Dean called for him, one day.

And Castiel went without a second thought, without hesitation.

Because he still felt the same.

He still loved Dean Winchester.

Good, bad? I think it's horrible, personally, but I got the thought in my head and the song was tempting me, hehe. Anywho, thanks for reading! Sorry if it sucks out loud! Please review!

Also, the next chapter of Hear Me Now should be up soon, either tonight or tomorrow, I'm not sure yet. Thanks again! Reviews are love!

~Muffy the Dough Slayer~