Songs for Spock
A collection of short stories, all inter-connected. For Spock, for Jim, for Uhura. For anyone who needs it. Different pairings.
Vanilla Twilight
Inspired somewhat by the first chapter of 'Vanilla Twilight' by Dracophile.
The song Vanilla Twilight is by Owl City.
For Spock
Shortly after the destruction of Vulcan, onboard the USS Enterprise
Spock… I couldn't imagine how he must be feeling right now. He had just lost his home planet. His mother. As he got into the lift, I wanted to go to him, but I knew that if I did, I wouldn't be able to resist touching him. As a touch-telepath, he would not only feel his own crushing emotions, but also my own. Lt. Uhura started to get up, to go and comfort her boyfriend, I'm sure. A hand on her wrist stopped that immediately.
"Let him regain control, Nyota. My own mental shields have been compromised, and I don't even have any emotional ties to the planet." Without a word, she nodded and sat back down as the lift doors closed and transported Jim and Spock with it. In my mind, though, a rhythm started to form…
Several months later, aboard the Enterprise
I had brought Spock into one of the Holo decks. I had brought up a dais with a grand piano on it, along with a row of seats in velvet in front of it. I brushed his fingers carefully, transferring my thoughts to him; a message ready to be received at his discretion containing my intentions.
I settled myself at the piano, letting him take his seat. When he was comfortable, I let my voice ring out in the open air.
"This song is dedicated to Vulcan, and everyone left behind in the carnage. This song is everything I wanted to say to you on that awful, awful day. This song is for all the broken bonds. These are my soul words."
I splayed my hands across the piano and started to play.
"The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
Cause I'll dose off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a post card to you dear
Cause I wish you were here
I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to play along
The silence isn't so bad
Til I feel your mind and feel sad
Cause the spaces between suns
Is right where you fit perfectly
I'll fight the cold in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit at the space deck all night
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
As many times as I blink I'll think of you
Tonight tonight tonight tonight
I'll think of you tonight
When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste a sky and feel live again
And I'll forget the stars when I do
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper all alone
Oh darling I wish you were here
Oh darling I wish you were here," I finished, softly, ever so softly. Timidly, I raised my eyes from the music in front of me to my audience of one. Spock looked… touched, in his own special way. As the last note faded away in the large room, he stood, thanked me sincerely, and walked out.
I allowed myself to feel sadness. It ached in my side, my chest, and my throat. My eyes gently shut, and I felt a tear escape one. Spock would never be mine, I knew, but I would never stop caring for him. I would never cease to look out for him. I would never stop loving him.
Because I could never bear to lose the connection to the only other being on this ship that could understand the burden of being physic in space. Because I could never stop anything.
Fin
A/N Vanilla Twilight is a song by Owl City. I changed some of the lyrics here, but the song and the rights to it belong to Owl City, not me. Am taking requests. Cross-posted to Archive of Our Own, user name AfanofManyStuffs. Eventually.