A/N: I thank you all for waiting patiently (most of you) for the sequel.
For those of you who are not coming from my original story, please go to my author page and find A Fate Unknown. Read that first before reading this.
There was some confusion in my last story, so I'm going to post this in BOLD:
ELYRIA IS NOT A SELF INSERT. She is a redesigned OC that I reallocated from another story that was never completed. All original characters are based on a real person. All descriptions of these people are based on the real person the character is modeled after. That includes Elyria.
Emma's real life counterpart is actually reading this story. Love you girly.
As with all my fiction, I write to a soundtrack. Usually I will include all songs at the beginning of the chapter.
Please don't submit corrections in reviews. PM me.
Bastille - Pompeii
One Republic - Counting Stars
Rag'n'Bone Man - Human
Blue October - Hate Me
World of Warcraft feat. Laura Bailey - Daughter of the Sea
Daft Punk - Instant Crush
Imagine Dragons - Whatever It Takes
George Ezra - Did You Hear the Rain?
A Fate Unknown: The DAI Sequel
Chapter 1:
The back pressed against mine moves. He is bracing his shield to take a blow that probably would have lopped my head off. Another shriek moves in and it clicks at me, raising obscenely long arms with thick, disfigured sickles where hands should be. Somewhere to our left Shale is bellowing and slamming things left and right. Aedan drives his sword into the neck of a genlock and the gurgle it makes sounds almost like it is right next to me. The shriek presses in again, trying to get past my defenses, and again I block from two different directions. Alistair's back is fully tense now, he's slamming his weapon against anything that comes near us. Leliana's arrow shots are coming closer together while our resident mages have gone back to back.
We're being swarmed.
My concentration breaks for barely a breath as another creature clicks to the left of us. The shriek lunges. The blood from my torn muscle seems to spray as it drags the tip of its scythe through my flesh.
I was awake in my bed a breath later. My collarbone and shoulder felt sore in muscle memory of old scars. Though if I looked the scar wouldn't be there. It felt as if it should be present. In response I rolled my shoulder a few times, loosening up the tight feeling. My whole body felt stiff. Whether from the tension in my muscles or from paralyzing fear, I don't know. My heart beat began to slow, the adrenaline dissipated.
I shouldn't have started playing that game.
Dragon Age: Inquisition.
I'd been playing non-stop for almost two days. Viola left me to it as long as I ventured out of my room to eat, shower and attend to other bodily functions. Though, truth be told, this was the first night I'd had a dream about being back in the Deep Roads.
Last night it was a conversation I had with Shale. Her raspy voice came back to me as clear as a bell in the world of dreams and phantasms. She asked about my world, about golems and the vermin of the sky. I told her about New York pigeons. Her protestations followed me all the way back to world of the waking.
A shudder that slid down my spine, reminding me of my aunt. She always said it was someone walking over my grave. Another shudder, harder this time. It shook my shoulders and reverberated down my arms. I told Alistair, Wynne, and later Fenris, if I died to burn me and scatter my ashes to the sea.
The deities I've prayed to in my life could fight out my eternity amongst themselves for all I cared.
The birds weren't singing outside yet. Too early I supposed. My kindle, my new kindle that I ordered from Amazon a couple of weeks ago, displayed the time at the top of the screen. Four eighteen a.m., Monday May twenty eighth, twenty eighteen.
I've been home almost two months. It took me that long to work up the courage to pay Inquisition. I didn't import any files, though I did create a new Warden and Hawke in the Dragon Age Keep. The new computer Viola bought for me held up well under the punishment of other games, like They Are Billions and RAFT.
I spent a lot of the last two months buried in doing research on Dragon Age, binge watching shows that I enjoyed while I was gone or playing other games.
The house was quiet as I got up and went downstairs to make myself something to eat. I'd finally gained weight, and was holding steady at a comfortable one thirty one. Viola told me she was happy not to feel my ribs when she hugged me.
My parents were back in the United States. Our family home was Viola's legally, and had been for a quite a while. Our parents had purchased a condo down in Florida, and spent most of their time travelling or volunteering. For the first two weeks they stayed in our family home and once they were sure I was okay, they went home.
Eventually my story did hit the news, though my miraculous return to the real world was little more than a blurb buried in the pages of the New York Post and Newsday. I suppose I wasn't worth of the New York Times. Things began to go back to normal, with my old friends coming around and eventually getting used to the new me.
The new me that could grab a pickpocket mid lift and break his wrist. The new me that clotheslined a purse thief and held him down until the cops came. The new me that observed a room before walking completely into it. The new me that kept her back to a wall and watched windows and doors. The new me that knew exactly how many people came into a room and left it without looking up.
Thedas changed me in ways I hadn't thought about before coming home.
For one, I didn't feel like I was home. Eight years away, three in college and five in Thedas, left me feeling distant. No matter how Viola had changed, or how warm my parents were now compared to the people they were before.
My mother cooked me breakfast. Actually cooked. She hadn't done that since I was small. My mother asked me about someone special. Before Thedas, during college and most of my teenage years, my mother didn't care about my love life. It began when I didn't associate with the children and families, that she preferred I associate with in elementary school. Junior high only exacerbated the issue. By high school, and debutante age, my mother had been done with me.
Yet, she sat across from me at the dining table with a cup of coffee in her hands and a soft countenance. She sipped her coffee and waited patiently for me to say something. I looked down at my scrambled eggs, and thought about how I hadn't gotten out a single word in those last few seconds in Thedas. How I'd reached out to my friends only to have my fingers go through them.
Because they weren't real and I was.
"No," I lied and shoveled the eggs onto a slice of toasted focaccia bread before cramming it in my mouth.
My mother didn't say anything. She sat there sipping her coffee without a word otherwise. I don't know if she believed me.
I don't care if she believed me.
It hurt to think about it. Physically I mean. Not just emotionally. The more I leaned toward missing my friends, my boyfriend, my best friends, going to the bakery every morning - the worse my headaches got. The same vice like migraines that used to floor me whenever blood magic was around back in Thedas.
I stopped thinking about them and sunk myself into the real world.
Back to my search for food. Something quick, easy and wouldn't crash me later from lack of sugar. My sister's junk food was more on the healthy side than on the actual junk side, but it worked out in my favor. I had a whole list of things to pack in my bags for a trip back to Thedas. Forget the generic granola bars that I had to eat four of to feel full. Give me oatmeal squares stuffed with fruit and a glass of milk. I could go for hours.
That initial hike to Sky Reach was going to be a bitch. Bringing snacks that had a two year shelf life would get everyone's spirits up. And keep everyone's calorie count high enough to keep them moving in the snow.
How to get everything to Thedas was the real problem.
Oatmeal, cinnamon, dried blueberries and walnuts with buttered whole wheat toast on the side. One large glass of milk in hand and my other stacked with food and I was taking the stairs back to my room.
Time to save an empress.
In the middle of figuring out which Inquisition Table quests to send troops out on, my sister poked her head into my room. "I'm going to the office to sign the new hire paperwork. I should be home in an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Will you be okay on your own?"
Without looking up from the open Dragon Age Wiki page, "Yep."
"Okay. Brandon said he might stop by, will you get the door?"
Brandon Lee, who admitted he was mildly freaked out by the fact I could catch a pickpocket mid-lift, hadn't called me in over a week. Emma hadn't spoken to me in nearly two weeks after the purse snatcher incident. My sister, while she didn't say it to my face, spoke to my parents about a way to force me into seeing a therapist about my time away.
That's what they call it, my small group of friends and family. They call it 'time away' or 'Elyria's time away' and 'Elyria's time away from us.'
My sister is also suspicious. She saw the solar chargers sitting in the sun on my windowsill. I know she saw the two bags arrive from Amazon. I think when I was in the shower a few days ago she went through my internet history. I know she thinks I'm leaving again.
She's right, but I won't be leaving until I've played Inquisition a few times, and memorized enough information from the Wiki to get by in game. I will need to be a useful party member to the Inquisitor, and not one who primarily gets left at Haven or Skyreach like I have so frequently with Sera and Cole. I like them both, but as I enjoy playing a rogue, I don't really need either of them. Hopefully it will be more like when I was in Origins versus DA2, where the party was larger than that on screen.
Speaking of playing a rogue...I hit escape and saved the game before exiting out completely. It occurred to me just after helping Iron Bull with his personal quest that I was letting myself get lax. Losing muscle tone and muscle memory when I was planning to go back to the kind of life I lived in Thedas. I needed to look for a mixed martial arts class and join a gym, if only temporarily.
I moved the search to the Kindle and moved downstairs to make lunch while I went over the options. So. Many. Options. By the time Brandon's Uber was dropping him off, I'd narrowed down my choices to a studio about a ten minute walk from my sister's home and a dojo a few subway stops away.
Brandon came in calling out, "Darling, I brought Chipotle."
Ooo, calories. "With chips?"
He held up a secondary brown bag, "Of course."
"You're the best, thank you."
"Extra guac, double corn salsa." He pulled the wrapped burrito from the bag and held it out to me.
I was tearing into it seconds later while he was still peeling up the cover to his bowl. "Slow poke," I said around a mouth full of meat and cheese.
"Glutton," he replied and set two paper napkins on his lap.
I shrugged and continued to devour. "I'm joining a gym."
"Why? You're jacked already."
After setting down my burrito, I lifted my shirt and flexed my stomach. "These muscles don't just appear on their own. I've got to keep them well fed and trained properly."
"Damn girl, why can't I find a man like that?"
"Your one is out there, you'll find him."
"Please, your mouth to god's ears."
My burrito was gone before his bowl even had a dent in the contents.
He eyed me. "Damn girl, you'd think you were starving."
"I've never starved." We came close once. After burying the King. We stupidly hadn't resupplied on the way to Denerim from Ostagar, and got caught in a snowstorm that lasted a full three days. We made it to the Brecilian Forest with three stale pieces of hard tack between the lot of us.
I still remember how cold I was when the Dalish let us bunk down with them for a few days. The elves seemed to enjoy the cold, revel in it even. We silly humans and our silly city elf. I remembered Zevran attempting to cuddle up to Wynne and her smacking him in the back with her staff.
Brandon's well manicured hand move in front of my face. "Earth to Elyria."
I blinked, "What?"
"You went somewhere for a minute. Want to talk about it?"
No. "What gym do you go to?"
His plastic fork slid into his food, followed by a quick, short sigh. "You can't always change the subject."
"I don't want to talk about my life. What gym do you go to?"
"Your life or your time away?"
"My time away is my life Brandon and I don't want to talk about."
"You're going to have to eventually."
"No, I really won't."
He shook his head slowly, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Elyria…"
"What gym do you go to?" I repeated evenly.
"Planet Fitness, I get hit on less and it costs ten a month."
I hit the button on the side to wake my kindle up and swiped a finger across the screen to unlock it. "Sounds good to me."
July 4, 2018
"Aren't you sick of playing that game?" Emma asked while she waited for me to figure out which pair of shorts would keep me warmer. She arrived ten seconds after I realized she was supposed to be picking me up for Brandon's Hamptons party.
Which was about five minutes ago.
"Plaid bermudas or these jean ones from Old Navy?" I asked sticking both pairs out of the closet, one in each hand.
"Neither, wear a skirt." She replied. "Weren't you playing with a dwarf the last time?"
"Started over once I finished the last campaign."
"Why?"
"Dragon Age games are all replayable. You know that."
"I know, but why right after you finished?"
Because I need to memorize as much as I can. "I played Dead in Bermuda for nearly a month!" I hadn't. I played it for about a week, got bored and made a dwarf inquisitor.
Emma rolled her eyes. "Brandon said he expects you to dress to the nines for the party."
Brandon was fooling himself. A few minutes later I stepped out of my closet in black bermuda shorts, a v-neck ocean blue t-shirt with a white tank top underneath, and black Vans.
"When did you oil slick your hair?" Emma asked looking up from her phone.
"A couple of days ago. I wanted a change." I'd also chopped off nearly all of the length I'd grown out in Thedas. The woman cutting my hair took pictures of how long it had gotten with my phone for me before she began cutting. I was happy not to have to use half a bottle of shampoo every time I washed it. Five years is a long, long time not to cut your hair. It hung around my face in layered, feathered dark blue, dark green and purple waves.
Emma smiled at me, a warm, happy smile. "I really am glad that you're home."
"Ready?"
"Mascara? Eyeliner?" She looked down at my shoes, "Could you try kitten heels at least?"
"Don't own any, couldn't do a wing if I tried and don't own any." I grabbed a light jacket from my closet and slid the mirrored door closed. "Ready?"
"Brandon is going to throw a fit. He invited straight guys for you."
Maybe I should have mentioned my last boyfriend was openly bisexual. The flirty, almost invitation jokes he'd made to freak Alistair out on the ship had lead to my bestie turning multiple shades of pink, red and mauve. We caught a subway train to Jamaica, and from there the LIRR out to Westhampton. Brandon's new boy toy owned a small beach house, and was hosting a small Fourth of July party.
Small as in around fifty people.
On the train ride out Emma talked about going back to school, becoming a Physician's Assistant or Nurse Practitioner. She avoided talking about the lack of a ring on her finger and the absence of her fiance. Her Facebook status changed three days ago. From 'Engaged' to 'Complicated.' The chain texts from Brandon and Kerry asking what happened, did someone know had blown up my phone for nearly all three days.
I believed today was her first social outing since it happened. Sands the boy-man who pursued her for nearly fifteen years because he was so in love with her. So in love he asked her to marry him three times in the last fifteen years. Once right after graduating high school, two minutes after she announced she was going to school update. Once right in the middle of summer break between sophomore and junior year. That had been thirty minutes after she declined the transfer to another college closer to the city for her family. The final time she said yes,
"If you want me to beat the life out of him, all you have to do is ask." I said as we hit a lull in the chatter on the train. Several people turned their heads. I kept a small smile on my face. Let them think I'm joking.
She gave me a strained smile, tight around the edges that didn't reach her eyes. "That wouldn't change things."
"Maybe not, but it would be satisfying to see bruises on his face mirror the bruises on your heart."
Her eyes began watering. "He said he didn't know if he ever loved me."
"What limb would you like me to break, and don't say his neck please. That doesn't work like it does in the movies. Unless you'd like the full Linda Blair treatment."
She snorted, wiping at her eyes. "Did I mess up my eye shadow?"
The purple and black looked a little smeared, but nothing a little more makeup couldn't fix. "We can fix it at the party."
"He's fighting me for the condo. Can you believe that? Both our names are on it. It was supposed to be where we started our family. He wants to keep it so he can move on with his life in it."
"And you?"
"I want to sell it, split the money and move on with my life."
I won't say what I did. That might get me arrested.
I will say that when the following week ended, the boy-man told Emma to sell the condo and write him a check for his half. A few weeks later Emma found out from a mutual friend he took a job up in Maine, and moved out of state. Emma sold the condo, and took Viola's invitation to move into our brother Sebastian's old room.
September 6, 2018
When I decided to leave in the fall back in May it felt like I had so much time to get everything done. Now I was staring at the red circle around October 5th, and thinking about pushing back a few days. Maybe after Thanksgiving. No, because then would come Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's day, and a whole year of other reasons why. If I was going back to Thedas, I'd have to get my shit together.
October was the perfect month, and going early in the month gave me time before the snow started hitting the ground in Ferelden and Orlais. I had literal boxes of prepackaged food ready to go, instant oatmeal that only required hot milk or hot water. Dried fruits and nuts. I'd squirreled away a lot of provisions for the proverbial winter.
I bought a bug out bag and a heavy waterproof tarp satchel. The bug out bag had already been loaded with two sets of thermals, a pair of faux-fur boots that went up my calves which promised to be good in up to negative four degree weather, inserts to make them comfortable to walk in, a sweater, sweatshirt, a medium weight jacket, two large solar charges (again, thank you Amazon), faux-fur lined leather gloves, a bottle of peroxide, a small tub of vaseline, a quad pack of toothbrushes, a quad pack of toothpaste, and large pack of baby wipes.
All the things I wished I had before and then some.
I was still debating buying a sleeping bag. Who knew where I'd come through or when I'd come through. I could appear right where I left off in Denerim or appear at Flemeth's hut back in the Wilds. I'd have to slog a lot of stuff with me already. A sleeping bag wasn't currently a necessity.
The front door opened downstairs, Emma's voice calling, "Anyone home?"
"Upstairs," I yelled in return. She reached the landing as I was ticking things off on my supply list. Her eyes went over the stuff surrounding me, the food, the bags, and her face fell. "Where are you going?"
"Going to hike and clear my head."I lied. "Up by the old cabin where Cody and I used to go."
Her entire frame visibly relaxed. "That place he detoxed in, right?"
"The same." Twenty four packets of oatmeal bars in four varieties. Check. Twenty four packets of Nature Valley, twelve of the peanut, twelve of the oat and honey. Check. "I'm going to be up there a while. Probably a few weeks, maybe until winter."
"Getting back to nature and all that." She said as she crossed her legs and dropped down in front of me. "Is that what you're telling everyone?"
I didn't look up from counting the instant oatmeal. "That's what I'm doing, so that's what I'm telling everyone."
"Or you're going back to where ever you were while you were away, and you're prepping for the journey back."
I stopped mid-count on the baby wipe packets. "Emma…"
"I was there in the room with you Ellie. I know what I saw. You were transparent in my lap. I don't care what my therapist says. I felt the pressure of your body on my knees lighten, then dissipate. You faded out of the world and I know that sounds crazy, but that's what happened. I kept trying to figure out where you went, and I couldn't. I had this crazy idea that you faded out of reality, but physics dictates all energy remains no matter where it goes. So where did you go Ellie and are you going back?"
Again, for the unknownth time, I felt guilty about that last day in New York even if I had no control over it. Someone doing blood magic in the world of Thedas had managed to power up enough to break the barrier between their world and our reality. How many people in Tevinter died for the insane bastard who did it? How many people died to bring me across to the Wilds outside Ostagar?
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you where I was." I told her after several moments of silence. "You'd go to my sister, she would have me locked up on grounds of insanity."
"You were somewhere Ellie. People don't just disappear into thin air."
"I was somewhere, but you won't believe me."
"Oh really? Try me. I'm pretty open about these things. I did a lot of research after you were gone. I've heard of things, read testimonials, I believe you were somewhere else."
My sore leg muscles (yesterday was leg day at the gym) protested when I got up out of my cross legged position on the floor. I went to my door, closed it, locked it and then moved to the computer to turn on some music. Next I went to my window and closed it, flipping on the air conditioner to add white noise into the mix as well as to prevent us from overheating. Then I returned to my position on the floor.
"I'm going to tell you everything, but if you don't believe me, you can't go to my sister. I don't want someone declaring me insane for this."
"I won't tell Vi. I promise."
Then I told my best friend about the last few years of my life.
I told her everything.
October 1, 2018
"Are you sure I can't change your minds?" Viola asked while Emma and I began to load up the car for our trip to the cabin. That's right. Our trip to the cabin. "You're going to miss Halloween in the city! I throw a great Halloween party. Slasher movies, chocolate, pizza and popcorn."
Emma laughed. "I'm not sitting through you hiding behind a pillow every time someone opens a vein."
"The fake blood is a little much for me." I told my sister as I put the last bag into the back seat. "Besides, what's better than spooky woods and a fireplace with scary stories?"
My sister's shoulders fell. "I wish you guys would have asked me, I could have taken time off."
"You started working for the ACLU a few months ago, there is no way in hell they're going to let you take a month off. I'm lucky I even got two weeks." Emma told my sister while they hugged goodbye. "See you in a couple of weeks. We can go apartment hunting."
By nine thirty we were on the road headed up to the cabin. The supplies I'd gathered were tripled to stock the cabin and our packs. That's right, our packs. Emma wanted to see Thedas. I'd warned her that I couldn't be one hundred percent certain she'd come through with me.
"So, when you say Alistair is hot…" Emma asked aloud while waiting in the line on the Verrazano to get out of Manhattan.
"That's my best friend you're talking about harlot."
"I'm your best friend. Wouldn't it make sense that your two best friends become good friends?"
"If you break his heart, I'll break your face."
"What if he breaks mine?"
"Not going to happen. He's one of those I'll love you forever types."
Her face went soft, then sad. "Maybe not. What's Cullen like now?"
"I told you to play as much as you could before we left."
"I did!"
"For how long?"
"Four or five hours."
"For how many days?"
"A week maybe?"
"You didn't even make it to Skyhold, did you?"
"I did. I just made it Skyhold."
"Oh my god." I wiped one hand over my face. "I told you, you need to be useful if you can't fight."
"I am an experienced nurse! I will be so useful they'll be sick of how useful I will be! Do you know how many nights I've been in the ER?"
I wondered if she would clash with the doctor who didn't believe in using magic to heal wounds. "Okay, drill time. Which potions have healing properties?"
Emma groaned and put her head on the steering wheel. "I'm going to regret wanting to go to Thedas at this rate."
"Oh honey, well before that. Trust me. I was regretting it the first time I saw darkspawn."
With traffic we ended up having to stop at the Cracker Barrel in Fishkill for lunch. Emma eyed the menu critically. "Cobb Salad?"
"Carbs. Pasta preferably."
"We'll fall asleep on the way to the cabin!"
"You won't be eating carbs after thursday unless they're potatoes, oatmeal or fried chicken or fish."
"No pasta?"
"Hasn't been discovered yet."
"Bread though, right?"
"Oh yeah, usually stale for your soup bowl. Hardtack is fun to eat too."
Her face fell. "What did you eat?"
"Why do you think I was so thin?"
The waitress took that moment to move in. "Hello ladies, welcome to Cracker Barrel. I'm Jenny, I'll be your waitress. Can I start you two off with anything to drink?"
"Iced tea for me, unsweetened." I said, watching Emma recalculate actually wanting to see Thedas herself. "You Em?"
"Um...Coke or Pepsi please."
"And are you two ready to order?"
"I am, you Em?"
"Um...I think so."
"Okay ladies, when you're ready."
"The fried chicken with dumplings. The first side will be mac and cheese, the other applesauce."
"And you honey?" Jenny asked pleasantly.
Emma stared at the menu a moment longer then said, "The reuben sandwich, french fries. I'll take the same sides."
Jenny smiled at us both. "Okay, coming right up."
We made it to the cabin about an hour and a half later. Emma rubbed her stomach once again and grumbled. "I ate too much."
"Trust me, you're going to wish for that problem on the trudge from the ruins of Haven to Skyhold."
"Maybe, because you know where to go and who to go to, you can circumvent the Templars or Mages from joining the dark side."
"There's only one inquisitor. You need them to fend off some of the attacks. I can't be sure that trying to save both sides will work."
"But you could try, right?"
She's right. We could.
October 5, 2018
The day to leave came. I got up first, because Emma was still in somewhat of a food coma from last night. These last few days I had been loading up on calories to burn later. If she made it to Thedas with me, and I do mean if, she would need the little bit of extra fat.
Emma woke up a few minutes before I finished making the oatmeal. She shuffled into the kitchen in socks, thick sleeping pants and a sweatshirt. "That smells good. Cinnamon and what else?"
"Walnuts, dried raisins, and cranberries. We need to finish the perishables today if we're leaving."
She grabbed the four slices of toast from small toaster oven. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"One hundred percent."
"Not one fifty?"
"One thousand percent."
"Over nine thousand!"
"Oh my god. If you start quoting Dragonball Z, I will leave you here."
We ate breakfast with me drilling her about the first few days in Thedas and what they might entail. Where to go, where to meet if we were to be separated. Around eight thirty we we began gathering up our stuff, her bags and mine, rolling up our sleeping bags (that were actually a good idea), and double checking our supplies.
"Sitting?" She asked as I had her pull on the straps of the bags and sit down across from me.
"It will hurt less when you hit the ground there."
"Ominous. So how does this work?"
"You have to believe that that world is real. That you could live in it, interact with the people, be part of their lives." The incredulous look she gave me spoke volumes. "I spent years there Emma. Probably will spend several more. I remember walking down the shore of a lake, the warmth of the Thedas sun on my face, fog rolling in off the sea in the spring, the snowy hills outside Kirkwall..."
The headache hit me like a freight train. I felt myself letting go of Emma and falling backwards. The floor I landed on was absolutely not the hardwood of the cabin. It was solid, cold stone. My ass hurt, my head hurt and something hard had dented my back. Great, my stuff didn't come through. God damn it.
I got up slowly, looking around as I did. A vague sense of deja vu hit me. I knew this place. How did I know this place? This was…this was the old temple to Andraste wasn't it? The one at the base of the mountain. It looked better, nicer than the last time I'd been there. Someone had gone ahead and repaired a lot of what had been falling apart. How did I end up in the old temple?
A dark, heavy voice came from a doorway at the end of the hall. "Prepare the sacrifice."
A quick glance around proved not a single person was there.
Except me.
Shit.
Whew. Fourteen pages.
Off to make cookies. Hope you enjoyed.