Valentine? Without me!

by

Digintegrated Hunter Bill

Disclaimer: You gotta love song parodies, eh? This is nothing but a revamping of Eminem's "Without Me", to show how much I dislike Valentine's Day, and how much Valentine's Day has disliked me for years and years. Of course, a rap track is nothing if you don't put the background sound too, so mind the passages between stars (**)!

(Announcer) In five... four... three...
**Slow beat starts**
(Voice on a phone) Dammit look what you've done to this rap track!
**noisy scratch. Normal beat starts**
(DHB) Communication attempt to the outside, to the outside, to the outside! (2x)

(Background voices)
Guess who's back, back again
HB's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's ba...**noisy scratch. Everything stops**

(DHB, talking) Okay, they all know I'm here, so LET'S START IT, RIGHT?

**beat resumes**

I tried to change myself, yet nobody wants me
See their taunts coming back and forth like this song 'Chop Suey'
Things I didn't want to get played over and over
Coming from stupid pupils and my stupid brother
Now comes a day that will make myself angrier
But let me say it before taking me to the hospital
My psychiatrist there says I'm exaggerating
But he can't understand cos he's not listening
Hey, you waited this long to start your kissin',
Can I know why it's so hard for me to join in?
I know that you got your new guy, Ms. Pansy
And you just gave me up cos I'm so complicated
So the Valentines won't be with me
Or let me call me the DHB
You may try to shut down my ISP
'Cos they want Valentine without me
So, come on, run away from my peeled lips
Let my belt pack the only thing that dared touching my hips
But let me warn you, just in case your head got a hit
I'm heterosexual so stop your bullshit!

Now this looks like a parody
So everybody else, just avoid me
'Cos you need a little tranquillity
'Cos you want Valentine without me
Now this looks like a parody
So everybody else, just avoid me
'Cos you need a little tranquillity
'Cos you want Valentine without me

(Background voices)
Na na na na na!
Na na na... **Gunshot. Everything stops.**

(DHB, talking) Shut up. Don't make things worse, okay?

Notes: yeah, one verse is enough for me.

Anyway, everyone take care, okay?

Digintegrated Hunter Bill (DHB)