QL, Wigtown Wanderers, Beater 1, Finals Round 3. Theme: Dark: Goodbye — Apparat ft. Soap&Skin Prompts: [word] Authorise, [quote] 'This need to prove that we are not the worst of ourselves can sometimes make us better people.' — Before Mars, Emma Newman, [quote] 'Maybe that's part of the nightmare, having just enough freedom thrown at you to tempt you, knowing it's an illusion.' — Grace & Fury, Tracy Banghart
Word Count: 2601.
Beta: Alice, Aya, Bailey, Dina.
Comment: AU. I may make this a two-shot, let me know if you wanted another chapter.
Harry Potter remained quiet, as he had been taught to do, and sat down crossed-legged in front of the tombstones. James and Lily Potter. His parents.
He looked up at his Aunt Petunia, who still wore the lost, anguished look. He often saw her with that look since Uncle Vernon passed away. It was either that look or complete and utter anger.
Dudley was much of the same. Though, he willingly shed a lot more tears than his aunt. He was only seven, like Harry.
Harry then turned back to the tombstone and reread it as many times as he could. Had his uncle still been alive, he wouldn't be here. Vernon definitely wouldn't authorise a visit to a graveyard, especially just for Harry. This was the first time he'd ever been this close to his parents that he could remember. He knew they died in a car accident when he was just a baby, and he would have been this close before, but he wasn't old enough to retain those memories. This time, he could. He would ensure to keep every single detail of this moment saved into his mind forever.
"Stay here."
The seven-year-old leant forward and traced his fingers over the letters of his parents' names as his aunt walked off with Dudley. He paid no mind to the man who approached his aunt to talk. Until he was ordered to do otherwise, he would stay right here.
As the distance between him and his aunt increased, the more he let himself feel about everything. He would never get the chance to speak to his parents, to ask them a question, or play with his mother's hair. His father would never shout at him like Uncle Vernon did, nor would he be punished. His parents would never say goodnight or good morning. They'd never taste his toast, which he was really good at making. Harry felt his eyes well up. Vernon would never eat his toast again, either. When Harry first started making that for breakfast, with butter and jam, Vernon would throw it in the bin, but after a while Harry got better and Veron began eating it. Now he wouldn't be able to.
Harry started to feel overwhelmed by the loss of his parents and never knowing them, and the loss of his Uncle Vernon. So many family members had died. All he had left was Aunt Petunia and Dudley. Although, his aunt couldn't look after them both, and they were only allowed to live with Aunt Marge if Harry wasn't there.
Aunt Marge thought that Harry should have died with his parents. She told him that last week. But without her taking them all in, they'd have nowhere to live. Dudley didn't know this but Aunt Petunia couldn't afford the house all by herself. She was going to see if one of his parents' old friends could look after him.
Harry pretended that he hadn't heard his two aunts talking about putting him into an orphanage. He knew Aunt Petunia would only do what's best for him, after all, they were family.
The seven-year-old managed to calm himself down after a few minutes. He missed what could have been with his parents and missed his uncle very much, but he couldn't do anything right now. He had to be strong for his cousin and aunt. He couldn't be a hassle for them, not now and not ever. He had to prove himself to them.
Harry looked up and knew instantly by the look on his aunts face that he wouldn't be going home with them. Instead of upsetting him, he felt mildly calmer. He instantly knew how much this would help out. Aunt Marge would accept them without him, and they could start to rebuild their lives without his uncle. This was the best way.
Without waiting for permission, Harry stood up. He took another glance at his parents. "Goodbye," he whispered, before adding, "for now."
He then looked at the three standing at the edge of the graveyard until one of them made eye-contact, it was the old man, before he approached them.
"Harry, this is Mr Dumbledore. He is going to take you to a friend of your fathers," Petunia explained gently.
Harry nodded and quickly hugged her – he half expected her to push him away, but she didn't. He then hugged his cousin, who did hit him after returning the hug. "Goodbye. Goodluck. Thank you," he said to them, not quite sure how to express everything that was going through his mind.
He was losing the rest of his family – he didn't know for how long. They weren't dead, so he knew there was a chance to see them again, and he held onto that piece of hope. Goodbye was not goodbye forever. But this goodbye meant that they might be released from their nightmare.
Harry didn't ask any questions. Not yet. There were so many questions and emotions running through his head that he just remained silent. Mr Dumbledore didn't look happy. He probably didn't want Harry with him, either… Hopefully his Dad's friend didn't mind. Whomever that may be.
Harry stayed with Mr Dumbledore – well, Professor Dumbledore for two nights in a huge castle school. Something about the full moon. He definitely had a lot of questions about that but they remained mostly unanswered. He wasn't authorised to wander around the castle at all so saw very little of it during his time there, but if it was as incredible as Professor Dumbledore's office, then he knew it would be incredible.
Though, seeing as it was a magic school, it was already beyond any of his dreams. There was so much information that the old man had been giving him about Hogwarts, his parents, and the Wizarding community that he wasn't entirely sure he retained most of it. He was still trying to get his head around magic and hung on every single detail about his parents that had been provided. Even though it felt like he had been given tons of information, in reality, it was a very very small portion.
Harry carefully folded his normal clothes and placed them in a bag. Professor Dumbledore had lent him some wizarding clothes to wear which actually fit him! He was even more excited to meet his father's friend now that he was wearing fitting clothing! Hopefully that meant he would be a little bit more liked.
"Harry, this is Remus Lupin," Professor Dumbledore introduced as a mousy-haired man walked through the door after him.
Harry tried to smile but the thought of leaving another person he'd become accustomed to was unnerving him. Dumbledore had never hit him or raised his voice. He had loaned him some nice clean clothes, allowed him to eat three times a day, and even let him sleep on a big comfortable bed. He was nice. Remus Lupin was an unknown entity. That scared him.
Remus bent down to one knee with a soft smile on his face. There was something behind the man's eyes that settled Harry. The man looked sad. Was he sad to see Harry? Sad he was burdened with him? Or sad for another reason?
"Hello, Harry."
"Hi," he replied. He took a deep breath before asking, "Why are you sad?"
Remus let out a small chuckle. "You look like your dad, with your mother's eyes. It just reminded me how much I miss them."
Harry looked down at the thought of upsetting the man but latched onto the information about his parents. Dumbledore had made a similar remark but Harry hadn't followed up for more details. "My Dad looked like me?"
"He did. His hair was messier than yours when I met him though," the man revealed.
Unable to not smile at him, Harry made eye contact and asked another question, hoping he wasn't going too far. "Did he not brush it?"
Remus laughed. "He did. But James was always running or flying around." The man fumbled around in his pocket and pulled out a picture. "Here, he's the one with the glasses."
Harry held the picture carefully, ensure no harm would come to it, as his attention became completely absorbed by it. He could instantly recognise his Dad. They did look a bit alike. A smile crept onto his face as he soaked up every last detail. The messy hair, glasses, tall stature, school robes, broom in one hand, arm around another person, a massive grin on his face, and brown eyes. He moved his examination to the others in the phones, he concluded which one was Remus and decided to not ask about the other two – he'd already gotten more than he imagined: A picture of his father to see.
He tore his eyes away from the picture when his name was called. Remus was holding his bag. It was time to go. He forced himself to hand the photo back before he had to be asked. This goodbye, he didn't hug the person he was leaving because he'd see Dumbledore again. After all, he should be coming to this school in four years.
The first two weeks that Harry had been with Remus was the most incredible and beneficial time of his life. He was never punished, not in the way the Dursley's had. He had his own room and a few more clothes. He and Remus spoke all the time and played so many games! He had so much that he'd always wanted, but it was even better than he could have imagined.
It was after one of Remus' stories about the adventures of the Marauders that he found out his godfather Sirius was having a trial. He knew that the man was in prison, but Remus was reluctant to believe he was guilty – Harry wasn't sure what he was supposedly guilty of, though. And now that Harry wasn't living with his blood relatives and his godfather was alive, Dumbledore had elected to do some digging into Sirius's imprisonment.
Remus was happy about the trial, so Harry was also happy. Remus had expected it to take months, so the fact that it had taken two weeks was a huge accomplishment.
It would be great for Sirius to get out because that meant Remus got his friend back. Harry never had a proper friend, not for long, so he knew how special a friend was – they don't just come out of nowhere.
"Harry, wake up," Remus whispered to him.
Harry opened his eyes in confusion and looked around, it was still dark out. "What's going on?"
"It's Sirius. He's going to be released! The Ministry of Magic has officially authorised it."
A grin migrated onto Harry's face, matching that of Remus'. "Really? That's great!"
The seven-year-old jumped up and hugged the older man with glee.
This would be the start of something great. Remus would get to hang out with his friend again, and Harry could meet somebody else who was close with his parents.
The two of them went downstairs and made some scones – at least, that was their intention. Harry wasn't sure how they would turn out, and he found he didn't care. They were still delicious.
The day that Sirius was released was a joyous occasion for Remus. Harry was starting to feel a little conflicted ever since he found out that Sirius was authorised to take custody of him. Why would he be authorised for that? Remus was taking perfectly good care of him. He liked where he was and didn't want to move again.
Sirius being released meant he could be taken away from somebody again. He could lose yet another person. Harry didn't think he could do it again. He couldn't really class his parents in the equation as he couldn't remember them; however, in the last month he lost his Uncle Vernon, lost Aunt Petunia and Dudley, left Professor Dumbledore, and now he might be taken away from Remus. It was too much. It was a nightmare. He was given hope, the chance of happiness and stability, only for it to be pulled from him again as if it never existed.
He was allowing Remus to blindly lead him through a crowd of people. Harry was wearing a hood – apparently, they didn't want to draw attention to him. They were on their way to meet up with Sirius. But the more they walked, the less Harry wanted to. Until it all came too much for him and he felt tears falling down his cheeks. He looked down and saw his robes were absorbing the tears.
Not being able to take another step he stopped and pulled his hand out of Remus'.
"Harry?" Remus questions turning around swiftly to look at him.
"I don't want to go. Please don't leave me. I'll be good, I swear!"
Remus was instantly kneeling down to his level. "I'm not leaving you, we're going to see Sirius."
Even though Remus was mere inches from him, it didn't stop Harry from yelling; "I don't want to! I don't want him! He's not taking me! I'm not going!" He knew he shouldn't be drawing attention to him and Remus but he just couldn't take it anymore.
"He's not going to take you. I swear. I'll always be there for you."
"No! I want you here for me. Please, Remus."
Remus reached out to calm Harry, but it just made him panic even more. Suddenly, the glass around them in the shops exploded into hundreds of pieces.
Harry froze in shock, giving Remus the opportunity to grab him and apparate to a different location, one without prying eyes. One which allowed Harry to have a meltdown and cry for an hour before Remus was able to comfort him. It took a while before Harry began to listen to his guardian and even longer before it was agreed they'd meet up with Sirius.
Harry snuggled under his covers after the long day. Meeting up with Sirius and avoiding all those people had made them all really tired, so they were staying at Remus's flat tonight. Harry looked back and forth from Remus's familiar brown eyes to Sirius's sunken but happy grey ones. This wasn't so bad.
"Sleep well, Harry," Remus whispered, wiping a calloused hand across the boy's brow.
Harry nodded and then looked back to Sirius. "Thank you for letting me stay with Remus one more night."
Sirius cocked his head in confusion. "Harry, you and I are both going to be staying with Remus for a long time. The Healers don't want me living alone for several months while I finish healing."
"And I wouldn't let anyone take you away from me anyway," Remus promised.
Harry's heart swelled in his tiny chest. He wasn't leaving Remus! He was gaining another person instead of losing one!
Getting Harry used to not losing everyone in his life would take time. But at least Harry finally believed that Remus wasn't going to leave him. He had found his new family. Soon, he'd learn that Sirius is an extension of that family, not a replacement. The need to prove that he wasn't the worst faded away in time. But it helped to shape Harry into the person he became– some would say it was for the better, but no one could know that for certain. The only sure thing was that Harry had finally found a permanent home, a permanent family, and a permanent feeling of loving and being loved.